Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

My boyfriend wants me to have an elective c section

170 replies

061678719x · 31/12/2016 20:59

My boyfriend wants me to opt for a c section because his small mind thinks that my down stairs will never go back to normal. Opinions on this?

OP posts:
StarsandSparkles · 31/12/2016 22:27

Oh and op my son was 11lb when he was born and i delivered him naturally and didnt tear so didnt need stitches. My downstairs is just fine and current partner says things are just fine down there

MyWineTime · 31/12/2016 22:29

What a twat!
He wants you to go through the risks of major surgery because he has fears that childbirth will spoil his sex life. That says everything about his priorities. Your wellbeing comes a very poor second to his sex life.

I've had 2 vaginal births, 1 with forceps, stitches both times. I still enjoy a lovely sex life and have absolutely no problems with tightness or continence.

SleepFreeZone · 31/12/2016 22:30

So ive just asked OP whether I'm the same downstairs as I was pre 2 X VBACS and he kind of pulled a face and said 'youre fine'. We've kind of fallen out as I know I'm not as tight as I was and I suppose I just wanted some reassurance. I also now have piles which is pretty rubbish.

I dont piss myself though!

Aftershock15 · 31/12/2016 22:32

In the early 60's this was a thing. The slogan was 'Keep your tubes honeymoon fresh' according to my dm. Doesn't mean he isn't an idiot but wonder if this is what his mother did?

clumsyduck · 31/12/2016 22:34

Wow sounds mature

Good job my dp doesn't give a shit about stuff like that and has literally never mentioned my uneven c section scar and weird puffy scar- tissue bump thing that runs along it

Megatherium · 31/12/2016 22:37

The other reasons are that i apparently won't want to have sex with him again and this will ruin our relationship and that he thinks I will pee myself.

So, on his logic, no woman ever has more than one child, and every woman who has had a child has no relationship with its father, and is constantly peeing herself. Could you ask him to account for the fact that demonstrably that is not what actually happens?

MollyHuaCha · 31/12/2016 23:00

There are some harsh posters on this thread! I think it's possible the DP in question just may not realise that a C-sec is a major op. OP, he just needs educating.

guinnessgirl · 31/12/2016 23:01

oh OP Sad your DP is a self obsessed twat. Sorry. Flowers

FYI, I've had two natural births with quite large babies (8lb8oz and 9lb1oz), had second degree tears both times, but had sex and enjoyed it both times within 6-8 weeks. DH and I now have better sex than ever before. No problems with tightness from what he says. So ignore your 'D'P selfish, ignorant arsehole and do what YOU want to do.

ProfOf · 31/12/2016 23:07

I've had 6 children (5 naturally and last one C section) and tighter than ever. I do my pelvic floor exercises every day. Never had any complaints!

Titsalinabumsquash · 31/12/2016 23:16

Well doesn't he sound just darling! HmmAngry

Another lady here that's had 4 vaginal births and no complaints from DH and we have a frequent sex life so your partner is talking shit.
Oh and I've never pissed myself either!

MoreBushThanMoss · 31/12/2016 23:17

OP - please show the below to your partner:

I'm 14 weeks PP. had an easy vaginal birth with no instruments, no drugs and minimal tearing (one small graze, one small tear- 2 stitches in total)

I still haven't had sex since with DP. This is because I'm BFing and feel a bit touched out, am a good stone over my usual weight, smell like milk, haven't shaved my legs for 16 weeks, my hair is falling out and haven't slept more than 3 hours in a row for about a year.

None of these things are about the tightness of my vagina. They would be the same regardless of C Section/ vaginal birth. They are about me being a new mum and adjusting to my new mum bod. And feeling a bit frumpy.

Yet.... My DP still fancies me. He still touches me- and stops when I ask him because I feel "touched out" by the baby. He's told me he's up for it- and he's told me he knows why I'm not right now. And he tells me he thinks I'm a rockstar for bringing our baby into the world, and caring for him so completely.

And that's how real men operate.

Yes. I did piss myself after my birth. At least 4 times in the first few weeks- every time because I was laughing SO hard at something DP / baby had done.

I hope you can make your girlfriend laugh that hard too, in the midst of those crazy, long, scary, lovely first weeks.

I also shat myself, projectile vomited and howled like a wolf while I brought our baby into the world. Because having a baby isn't like picking up a pizza. You have to actually do some work to get them here.

No idea how baggy, tight or otherwise my fanny is yet. But I know DP won't give two shits when he goes in to find out. Because I'm not a hole for him to put his dick in. I'm his girlfriend, the mother of his child, and - crucially- a human being worthy of respect and dignity.

Grow the fuck up- or do your girlfriend a favour and leave her. Buy a fleshlight and wank yourself silly, you tosspot.

liquidrevolution · 31/12/2016 23:18

Had a c section 2.5 yrs ago. I pissed myself sneezing earlier and had to stop sex during a session last week as I had stabbing pains around my scar. Oh and the overhang is very sexy.

Your DP is a twat. Honestly you and your baby will be better off without him.

NovemberInDailyFailLand · 31/12/2016 23:20

To add to Moss's - I'm 12 weeks pp with aforementioned section. I'm still in pain and have NO interest in sex whatsoever.

sj257 · 31/12/2016 23:20

MoreBush 👍👍👍

Gloriarty · 31/12/2016 23:21

Bloody hell - what a wanker.

MoreThanUs · 31/12/2016 23:24

You've made a pretty big mistake by letting this guy father your child.

SmallBee · 31/12/2016 23:34

I came on to say some stuff but morebush said it perfectly.

I'm sorry your partner is such a fucking dick.

ChishandFips33 · 31/12/2016 23:40

Tell him you're having a vaginal delivery and you'll ask them to pop an extra stitch or two in to accommodate his small penis Grin

Is he fully aware of what's involved with a C-Section?

ChishandFips33 · 31/12/2016 23:42

Well said Morebush

notangelinajolie · 31/12/2016 23:58

PMSL I'm loving his reasoning so far. Has he got any more? I could do with a laugh.

Exactly how old is he? I'm guessing 15? The midwives are going to have a field day with him. You'd better prepare him for the ridicule, any comments like that and he will be laughed out of the hospital.

Congratulations and good luck. You are going to need it. Get rid now. What a looser.

ArcheryAnnie · 01/01/2017 00:34

that i apparently won't want to have sex with him again and this will ruin our relationship

Well, he's right, inasumuch if he was my partner I wouldn't want to have sex with him again. Not because of any bagginess in the fanjo, but because he's a bellend who doesn't seem to grasp that both your lives are about to change entirely with a baby, and that him requiring you to have major abdominal surgery just so he will keep on having access to a tight hole is so beyond normal it's incredible.

Yesitsmeagain · 01/01/2017 00:40

@MountainPeaks

In the summer the OP posted that she was 17 and the bf was 23.

ConvincingLiar · 01/01/2017 00:42

He is an unbelievable arsehole.

myelfnameisffs · 01/01/2017 00:45

Tel him to go get surgery and get lost. Ffs.

mamatiger2016 · 01/01/2017 00:51

Tell the man child to fuck the fuck off.

There are bigger things for him to be thinking about, such as how to provide for and care for his child and look after the mother of his child as well.

If OH had told me to have a c section to preserve my fanjo he would not have had long left to live.

As it goes, I ended up with an emergency c section. We have only had sex once since DS was born (12 weeks ago) as I am fucking knackered from looking after a newborn and all touched out.

You will get my first ever LTB - you will be much happier for it!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.