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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

What's your opinion on finding out the sex?

147 replies

bumperlicious · 29/01/2007 17:44

We have our 20 week scan coming up and don't know what to do. Originally we both said we didn't want to but now DH is wavering. I could manage if we both didn't know, but it would probably drive me mad if he did and I didn't!
If I find out I WILL tell everybody, and I didn't really want everyone to know, on the other hand I feel that finding out the sex may help me bond a bit more with the baby which I am struggling to do.
Opinions please!!!

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LawdyMissTutter · 07/02/2007 13:18

i'm going to find out the sex of my next one next thursday

got some very sneery looks - esp from older ladies - when they heard i knew i was expecting a boy last time

LieselVentouse · 07/02/2007 13:22

Tutter - have you had an amnio?

LawdyMissTutter · 07/02/2007 13:24

no liesel, am just having an early sexing scan

are you just ahead, or behind me? (i'm 22/7/07)

Chandra · 07/02/2007 13:25

I didn't have opinions I just wanted to know.

Now thinking of that... I wanted to know because then:

I could spent the following months making plans for his room, buying little clothes, etc.

I could finally start refering to him freely by the chosen name, which we did anyway since he was only 12 weeks.

Because it made him more "real".

Having said all that... we had 2 scans and at none of them it could be apreciated if he was a boy or a girl.

I have not read the full thread but I think I'm going to just because I need to know what is the fuss about other people's not knowing about... actually... i thought nobody would care whether he was a boy or a girl... as long as he was arriving people would be happy.

LieselVentouse · 07/02/2007 13:35

Tutter, tell me more. I was so sure I would be high risk therefore would have an amnio therefore would no the sex. However delighted to know I dont need either but would still like to know sex.

LawdyMissTutter · 07/02/2007 13:37

my risk came back surprisingly low after the scan and blood tests too - dropped from 1:300ish to 1:10,000, so didn't have to consider amnio, thank goodness

i was going to go back to the birth company in harley street (where i had my early scan - lovely lovely man there) - they do sexing scans from 17 weeks. but now we've moved it's a bit of a trek. anyway, found a local scanning clinic. they say any time from 18 weeks, but agreed to one at 17+4 because dh is home next week

where in the UK are you?

LieselVentouse · 07/02/2007 13:44

Glasgow and weve got f* all here.

Beyonceen · 07/02/2007 13:49

Liesel, try Paisley. Fantastic set up there. All sorts os scans on offer.

LieselVentouse · 07/02/2007 13:52

Beyonceen - excellent name. Can yopu give me info - how much do they charge?

LawdyMissTutter · 07/02/2007 13:53

liesel - i googled and found babyscanning.co.uk in glasgow city centre - they advertise 3d/4d scans wich are for later on i think, but you could call and ask if they do regular 2d sexing scans?

Beyonceen · 07/02/2007 13:59

The RAH (Royal Alexandra Hosp) in Paisley has just started doing a new type of scan last month (sorry don't have all the details) but they should do you a normal 20 week sexing scan as routine. Are you central Glasgow? Paisley comes under renfrewshire so could be slightly different and worth a try.

Rosa5 · 07/02/2007 14:03

I found out when I had amnio and wanted to know so could choose name and called Dd by name from early bumpness. Then when went for 20 week scan doc did check if we knew but even we could see due to position of baby that it was a girl . It also meant avoiding lemon / yellow which I do not like as a colour !

geordiemacminx · 07/02/2007 14:12

Lisel, there is a clinic in Glasgow and one in Livingston that will tell you the sex - around £75 I think? We combined ours with our 20 week scan which we had over in Livvy, which was £150

pianist · 07/02/2007 14:13

I think it's nice to have something left to find out about the baby when it's born!

Dragonfairy · 07/02/2007 14:18

FWIW I agree with what Mollymawk said earlier, if you have a preference it's probably best not to find out. One of my closest friends has just found out the sex of her first (her DH was the impatient one ) and she told me that as she's having a girl (her preference), she would have liked the surprise after the hard work of labour.Bit late now though...
I found out with my 4th and like SOSPL we claimed we were doing it for practical reasons (i.e did we need another bedroom)(BTW Not discrediting yr practical reasons SoSPL!). I loved the surprise the first 3 times and definitely would not have wanted to know first time around but I like surprises (well nice ones such as babes usually are ! )I think you just have to go with your heart / bump on this one IMHO.

LieselVentouse · 07/02/2007 14:23

Thanks for all your help guys. Sorry I have very specific reasons for doing this. I was in a coma after our daughter was born (eclampsia) and never got to see her for a week so it was comforting that I had known since 5months PG that I was having a girl, it was something I kept to myself. I would like to do that this time for the very same reasons

geordiemacminx · 07/02/2007 14:29

I have the clinic details if you want them babes!!!

I found out so I could buy clothes in the xmas sales!!

I think its entirely up to the couple in question, but yes I can understand your reasons perfectly!!

LieselVentouse · 07/02/2007 14:30

OOOhh yeah thanks Geordie

fannyannie · 07/02/2007 14:34

"I think it's nice to have something left to find out about the baby when it's born!"

Well IMO there's still plenty to find out about them when they're born - how heavy, how long, how much hair, and in my case whether they'll be dark like their Dad or light like me ,

We didn't find out with the DS's but DH wanted to know this time for practical reasons (3rd bedroom needs a lot of money spending on it to make it suitable for kids to sleep in as it's FREEZING in here). I wasn't sure but because of the issues we've been having with our relationship and his difficulty in coming to terms with this pg went along with him. Wasn't sure how I'd feel but I don't feel at all disappointed that I now know. AND even better IMO is that since finding out DH really seems to be dealing with this pregnancy better

geordiemacminx · 07/02/2007 14:36

Glasgow is 4dbabyscanning.co.uk
Livvy is babybond.com cant recommend them enough, like I said its where we had our 20 week scan, which was £150, they will also tell you the sex, can be done from 19 weeks. They also do a sex scan from 16 weeks which is £75.

We had a 4d scan there 2 weeks ago too.. was expensive but since he's our first and probabaly last we thought it would be a nice treat.. got to see him yawning, crossing his legs and covering his eyes with his arm... 30 minutes dvd, the best bit is when he open his legs wide open... definatley going to be a dvd for his wedding day!!

LieselVentouse · 07/02/2007 15:00

Thanks a lot Geordie Im going to give them a call

mytwopenceworth · 07/02/2007 15:06

each to their own. i asked with both of mine.

i must admit, i was a bit disappointed with ds1, i had really thought it would be a girl and i thought i only wanted a girl.

so i had months to come around! and to choose names and by the time he was born i was chuffed to bits.

and when i found i was expecting again, i wanted another boy - which i got.

i felt like i knew them more, by knowing the gender it made them more real, more of a person to me. i was able to talk about them saying "he" and it really made a difference, much better than "it", or "the baby"

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