Staying posifrickentive- Thread 10 for ladies pg after mc

[LynseyH5]

I've made the new thread, hope I'm not stepping on anyone's toes... just wanted to make sure we had one.

I've never got this far before. The first scan I had last time was bad news so had nothing to share.

The only person I've told is a very close friend who supported me brilliantly last time.

How far along are you Butterfly?

13+a few. I had scans on Tues and Thurs and they both measured 13+1, so there or there abouts!

It's an intensely personal thing deciding who to tell and when. I find pregnancy makes me very introspective and solitary so I get even more reserved and don't want to talk about it to actual people! Even once they know I am pregnant I prefer not to discuss it - it is a banned topic with my parents because I can't deal with their emotional investment or 20 questions. We told them if there is anything further to tell, we will tell them, otherwise it's just quietly happening and we are stressed and don't want to talk about it.

I think I understand how you feel.
I'm barely talking about it with DH because I don't want us to get too emotionally invested in it..

I think on balance I'm not ready for their excitement etc yet (because I'm not allowing myself to get too excited). They don't know about the problems last time because I didn't feel up to answering questions about it all. But I am a bit worried they will guess.

I'm sorry, I get muddled up between people - am I right in thinking you had the molar pregnancy? I can completely understand not wanting to have to educate people on the finer details.

It is so reassuring to know it isn't just me who has these thoughts!

We had a friend's birthday meal last night, 20 people most of whom I haven't seen in ages. They all knew, after we told one couple knowing full well the female half wouldn't be able to keep her mouth closed thinking it would actually save me a task but I haven't seen any of them to face their excited smiles and 20 well meaning questions. Today is a big family thing, lots of relations there who I haven't seen in ages so I'm bracing myself for more of the same. I'm enormous now, and at 21+2, I'm feeling more able to deal with it but I SO COMPLETELY understand the desire to keep everything private and even when it's known, to not get into discussion of the details.

That sounds like a good agreement you've reached with your parents Butterfly. Good luck today Nasch. Don't feel pressured to tell anyone you'd rather not tell or to get into discussions you'd rather not have! They'll all know soon enough, and their joy / surprise / excitement will not be any lessened for hearing the news a little further down the line if that's what you decide.

Re. the toner, I'm not expert and like Butterfly I suffer from intense intimidation at the hairdressers. It's the only situation I encounter where words are used which I recognise as English but cannot truly deduce the meaning of. And I speak as a an English language teacher of going on 10 years. Anyway, I read that it is unlikely to do any damage in the relatively tiny quantities used. Take usual precautions of gloves / open window etc, etc.

hopeful I had highlights and toner put through my hair at about the same stage you are at.

Our parents already know we told them after our first scan. We are telling our best friends today. I'm a bit nervous as I don't want any fuss or attention. I hope its a total non-event. Feel very guilty as feel like I should be bursting with excitement to tell people when in reality id like to hide till next year and just appear with my baby!

Ah good luck mac. Hope your friends read your mood well and know to be calm for you. My best friend knows - I told her because I needed to get out of a hen do - and she has been brilliant especially as I've spelt it out how petrifying it is in this situation and that's why I don't want a fuss or people knowing yet. She hasn't had any MCs or problems herself but she totally read it and has been amazing. Hope your friends do too.

It's HOT today. I am attempting to sit in the garden but keep getting overwhelmed with the heat.

Xx

Butterfly Yes, I had a molar pregnancy - I told a few people at work to explain my absence and it was hard explaining it to people everytime. Knowing that there is actually a baby bean in there this time is amazing and terrifying in equal measures. I've been wondering if I'll feel worse if something goes wrong now I've seen it compared to last time.

Macauley I'd quite like to just turn up somewhere with a baby too rather than having to tell everyone!

Plan to discuss it with DH before we go but I think we'll try and keep quiet a little longer. (They'll probably guess though!)

Hope it goes well nacsh!

Thanks for hair advice. Had the toner on for about 1 min so hopefully it's all fine. The worrying never ends...

Xx

I am 12 weeks today, this has never happened before, woo hoo! 😁🎉

That is all.🙂

Yeah!!!!! Congrats mimi. What a milestone!!!! Xx

Fabulous news mimi! What day is your scan this week?

lynsey I've been thinking of you, wondering how you are? How are things with DP?

Thanks Kate and Butterfly, it's on Wed at 8:10am. I'm having the NT scan so bloods as well. I'm hoping there won't be too much waiting around as is so early in the morning.

Good luck Mimi!!

Morning sickness has well and truly kicked in today. I bolted up this morning at 6am needing food otherwise I'd throw up and it has continued all day. I can't leave the sofa either! I keep getting up to do stuff and within minutes I am sat down again.

Any tips? I have a massive day at work tomorrow with a 3 hour meeting and if it is like today, I am not sure how I'll get through it. Do ginger sweets work?? Fizzy water I have heard is good?

Hope this is a good sign.

Lynsey I was thinking about you the other day too - how are you?

Butterfly are you well??

xx

Congrats mimi and good luck for Wednesday.

hopeful ive had bad morning sickness and fizzy water is all I can drink. Rest helps it seems to be worse if I'm tired

Kate for morning sickness, I found it helped to have something light and carbohydrate based before bed (cereal bar, rice cake, toast), and then eat as soon as possible again after waking up as the killer seems to be having a block of time you don't eat in. Due to a long haul flight I discovered that I only got morning sickness if I'd actually gone to bed for a block of sleep, and had no morning sickness after the flight. It has also helped me to eat something every 2 hours or so for the same reason, that way I don't get really hungry and my blood sugar should be stable. Vitamin b6 is also meant to help, so I drank tetley boost with b6 in the mornings in place of ordinary tea. Anything with ginger also helped me, also watermelon was refreshing and seemed to take the edge off. I also found having some light perfume on my wrist to sniff helped (the blackberry jo malone one), and because mine was tied to my heightened sense of smell, eating a more bland diet than usual and not going into strong smelling places helped (so no cheese shops, chinese restaurants or takeaways for me). It also seems to help to get plenty sleep and stay hydrated. Mine is starting to ease off now, but I've had to constantly manage it for the last 10 weeks or so - you'll get the hang of it!

On the topic of telling people after the scan, my mum already knew but asked yesterday if she could tell her sister now, and I'd said that was fine figuring she clearly wanted to talk to her about it, but then found out from my cousin that my mum had actually already told my aunt a few weeks ago. I suppose with any secret there's an inevitability to it tending to leak, and the more people you tell the faster that'll happen. It will be hard to keep track of who knows if I don't assume DH and I are the only ones sharing the news though! Kinda made me wonder who else might have been told that I don't know about. I'd plan to only talk to people I'd told myself if the worst did happen, which would mean the pool stays at a workable level until we (hopefully!) clear the 20 week scan stage.

Such good news on the thread, I'm very pleased to read it. Ongoing anxiety completely understandable though, after what everyone has been through.
I also had a good 24 week growth scan on Friday, babies are weighing around 600g each.
Re hair colour, my hairdresser told me it's absolutely fine so I've been dyeing with abandon. I figure that most companies are so risk averse when it comes to pregnant women that if they say it's ok, then it really must be!

Oh god hopeful I feel for you!

Some things that helped me a bit

• do not have a tight waistband, wear something looser, or slung low round your hips/a dress
• dress minimally and don't get too warm - sit by an open window or an air con vent if you can
• keep sipping icy cold water
• sit down as much as possible
• have an emergency plan, eg small plastic bag in pocket or similar incase you need to dash out and can't get to the loos in time
• stick a toothbrush/toothpaste/tissues/bottle of water/clean top in a small bag by your desk or something incase you need a clean up kit. Just feeling I could manage the worst helped keep me calmer

I second the recommendations to stick to carby foods, and eat small amounts v regularly. If that means sticking a biscuit in your pocket that you can nip out of the room and eat, so be it. I have found orange juice to be a very helpful quick fix at times - I guess it gets the sugar in fast.

Gah lucky that is not helpful of your mum to spread it further.

cockles that is great that all is going so well. What sort of twins do you have?

I am feeling a bit frazzled emotionally, the anxiety is starting to get to me more now and I am stressing about things I don't normally worry about - like will DD inhale water when she's in the pool with DH and then will she suffer secondary drowning in her sleep... they are deeply paranoid worries but I am seeing gremlins everywhere. This 13-20 week stretch is my everest, it's where we've lost before and I think it is going to be tough going.

It was weird having the scans this week measuring 13+ and thinking, wow I know exactly what that baby looks like - I delivered and held one that size 7 months ago. Very poignant somehow.

Or phone in sick!

Thanks so much for all the tips Butterfly Lucky and Mac.

I have rested this afternoon and seems to be a bit better, although when I opened the salmon for dinner I nearly vommed!! I don't remember having these symptoms in my second pregnancy (the one that got the furthest), so I am hoping this is a good sign.

DH came home an hour ago and promised he'd cook me dinner so I could rest and stay still. Within 15 minutes he was asleep on the sofa and is now snoring. I tell you, men would be rubbish pregnant people!! They have no idea what tiredness means!

Lucky bless your mum! I can see how that is frustrating but is she just v excited? It is impossible to keep a lid on this news sometimes. How many weeks are you now?

butterfly oh gosh I can imagine that is hard. I pray these next few weeks go v quickly and smoothly for you and then you can breath for a bit... before you find something else to worry about! I don't think the anxiety for people who have been through what we have on this thread will ever fully go away. But we can hope for small moments of relief.

xx

And congrats cockles Two! Wow. That must be v exciting xx

Hi everyone! I'm back from my holiday - lovely to read through the positive news properly. Sorry about the sickness, Hopeful. Yay for 12 weeks mimi! Cockles I can't believe you are 24 weeks already! Butterfly I share your anxiety feelings. I burst into tears today because I let my mind wonder and ended up thinking about my baby being born deaf and how I'd need to learn sign language. No idea where it came from, but I imagined the baby signing back to me as a toddler and I was in blubsville because of how proud I would be! My doppler arrived today and my little bump put me through it trying g to find d the heart beat. I found my own and freaked out because it was too slow. Eventually, I found the babies though, I could here him/her moving around too and it was lovely.14 +2 today.

Hear^ darn autocorrect

Kate yes you're right, my mum is just very excited about having her first grandchild and will probably have just found it too difficult to keep to herself. I get that bit, I just would rather she'd been honest with me and said that rather than ask my permission to share the news retrospectively .. I've also since spoken to my next door neighbours who congratulated me, and I didn't realise they knew either - apparently DH told them and didn't mention it to me. So it's not just my mum who I have to watch it seems! Part of me is thinking stuff it, I may as well accept that people will need to know sooner than I'd planned as with my expanding shape it'll be obvious before the 20 week scan at this rate even with my best disguise efforts, and I can't control what other people say. 12+6 today.

*whats" hope you've had a lovely holiday and it's not too hard to come back home again!

It was fab thanks and no, not too difficult. Dh and I are both teachers so we have another month off. I'll need to work from home and go in and work at some point but can't complain at all. My mum did exactly the same when I was pregnant with DD. She told my uncle and his wife hours after wed told her - I was 4-5 weeks! I told her I was annoyed and moved on. This time she outed me on Facebook but I'm not bothered because I'm 14 weeks and she only did it yesterday. Mothers, eh?