Pregnant at forty and over - thread 3

[Marquand]

To continue support for mothers to be over 40.

I had a dash to triage with a non-moving DS in my last pregnancy. Scary but they are always happy to be on the safe side and check you out. Sod's law also says that the minute you go to hospital the baby will start moving, to make you feel like a numpty. Which is a good result.

You have all shamed me into shaving and moisturising. I am now very smooth and fragrant

BEen twice now for non movement but yes once heart plugged in then they start to move

They keep saying she is a big baby so less room to be able to kick etc

It's just worrisome but they are so lovely there and always reassur df and I and say ring and come in anytime

Glad shaved and perfumed 😂😂

Tho you will need to do again before baby is born

Hence I paid for pain and got waxed

Toes look lovely tho feet piggy and puffy and having hands done today - but always have them done every 3w

Hope to continue once bubs is here

Tho friends (such lovely friends) say I should Be grateful to wash teeth and brush hair

Let alone anything else .....

Hi all. Scan at 2.40. Bloods came back that my liver is not right and levels raised since yesterday. Consultant had just cancelled scan and said I could eat when bloods came back so went from feeling relived to worried again.
Still on morphine (which is nice) so pain being managed in short term so will have to wait and see what scan shows. Luckily my consultant is on duty today. It might be a case of managing until I get to 37 weeks and inducing early, depends what happens later.

Glad the pain is under control Womble. Iirc you are about 35 weeks so wouldn't have too long to go to 37 weeks (and even if you had to deliver earlier you are pretty far along now so baby should be fine). It must be very worrying though, and I guess if would be be difficult with DD if you had to stay in for any length of time. But you'll do what you need to. Take care x

Hello ladies, quick Q re amniocenteses (in UK): are all women over 40 offered this as a matter of course, or is it only if you're deemed high risk post-12-wk scan?

Glad pain is better womble, hang in there it will all work out.
Hi Alex and welcome!! Don't know if it depends on area but where I am it was only if you were high risk from scan. Have you been called back or just fact finding??! I hated the wait to that first scan, good luck!

Thank you! That's reassuring, just fact-finding for now. 9 wks with DC2 and only just turned 40. Midwife says I'm medically low-risk but due to age have to go for an obst appointment the week after the scan. Yep, trying not to count the days. But I am.

@alex. You don't have to have the amino. You can have harmony. Non invasive and no risk of mc - unlike amino

@wombke. Poor you. Least you can eat now. If you take a turn for the worse will you have emerg cs

Not long till 37 and yes if baby pops out now then will be able to support theirselves x

Hello ladies and congrats on your BFPs!

Just popping over fm the 40+ttc thread to ask for any tips.

Did you ladies do anything differently in the run up to your BFPs? Or anything that you reckon helped you get there (even if only a hunch)?

Us on the ttc thread wd love your thoughts whether youre early 40s or mid like me (44)!

Big thank you...!

My first ever bfp was due to 5 attempts of ivf so can't answer your q. Sorry

Not much help but we relaxed!!! We'd just been accepted to start ivf next cycle and thought we'd have one more try naturally first!! Luckily, worked (so far) fingers crossed all works out. Good luck xx

Hi Ladies

Hope some of are still active! We are hoping for my DH to have vasectomy reversal this summer and TTC.....I am 42 ..I soooo hope it works for us x

Hi Alex, I highly doubt you will be offered amino anywhere unless you have a high risk result back from the screening (nuchal fold and blood tests st 12 weeks). That is because of the risk of miscarriage, which would not be deemed warranted in a low risk pregnancy. As Blondes mentioned you can opt for the Harmony test at 10+ weeks, which is also non-invasive (so no increased risk of miscarriage) and also a screening test not diagnostic (so like the NHS screening, it gives you your 1 in X chance of having a child with a trisomy like Down's. no definite yes or no). This is more accurate than the NHS screening but is only available privately in most areas. I actually did go for it, was £400 in London. I don't think the cost varies much wherever you go because the samples all go to one lab in London and that is the major part of the cost.

Hi Clara, DS (4) is just interrupting me, back soon!

Hi Alex - due to age and BMI it was suggested that we consider Verify/Harmony test. As pp says it is technically a private service costing £300-400 so not cheap. Results are meant to be far more reliable than the quad test and I found it really reassuring at that stage in the pregnancy (my first).

Womble - hope you're ok! Sounds as though your Drs are on the case. Thinking of you!

Blondes- you're an inspiration . Just had roots done and checked future appointments : should be rootless between 35wks & 42wks abw! Christmas - you're just adding pressure now!!!

Well, I had DS when I was 37. Took 2 years to conceive. No treatment although we were about to have investigations done. I did use an ovulation kit but even then it took a year of using that.

After DS was born we didn't start ttc number 2 straight away - first for work reasons and then because DS was diagnosed with autism and we had to get our heads round that and whether we should have another (impact on DS, increased risk of ASD in subsequent children). Anyway, we did want another. Started straight off with the ovulation kit and boring monitoring etc and I got pregnant after a year, at 41. Only thing I did differently to last time was lose weight (myBMI was about 26-27 second time, vs about 32 first time). Had an early miscarriage last July. At that point we did go to a clinic about possible IVF because although we could conceive, it seemed to take a very long time and I was concerned that we were wasting time. I had my egg reserves looked at (average to good for my age) and we both had blood tests and DHs sperm was sampled. HOWEVER before we even got the results I was pregnant again.

Only things we had done differently this time were:

• I had by then given up work. I was in a very high stress, senior public sector job. Gave it up to be at home with DS for this year before he starts school as he was not making any progress developmentally. I do think stopping work helped (if only because I was less tired and we dtd a bit more often in the window of opportunity!) Probably the reduced job stress helped, although I had a lot of stress at that time due to DS and battles with his useless nursery, and my dad was ill. I am not suggesting people give up their jobs - it's a bit drastic! - but I am sure a lot of people find even holidays helpful for being less stressed and more up for it.

• DH was taking some special Man Vitamins that were supposed to help conception. We got them from the fertility clinic but similar things are available in chemists

• DH had been ejaculating twice a week at least in the 2 months prior to getting pg, as this was required for the sperm test. Apparently that clears out the old sperm (which can deteriorate in situ) and means you have the optimum turnover of new swimmers. Fertility consultant was most insistent on this!

• we started dtd a couple of days before the ovulation kit said we should. I don't know if this is significant but it might be - I wonder whether we were taking the window too literally before (and it was a bit too narrow?!)

Anyway, I am now 42 and 22 weeks pregnant.

I definitely recommend the regular ejacualtion all month and Man Vitamins as they are fairly easy changes to make and worth a try! I expect for those couples who have been trying for a while the woman has already been taking vitamins and fretting about diet etc, but maybe the man hadn't made any tweaks (I know DH hadn't until this time round).

Incidentally, I got pregnant just 2 months after the miscarriage and within my first month of stopping work. Compared to 2 years the first time around and 1 year the second I was very surprised.

No idea whether that helps anyone else! Good luck xx

Hi all,
Clara, like seacow I changed how I was working (from high stress contracted job which I hated) to self employed after the first 9 months of ttc. Still worked a zillion hours but I was definitely less stressed. Fell pregnant 6 months later, just before 40th, with my first. I was also using the ovulation stick tests on occasional months just to check I was actually ovulating, yet I conceived way, way before the 'window', just days after my period, and was still shown a 'normal' cycle throughout the month whilst already pregnant so I definitely think they can be a bit misleading. I reckon it's worth shagging like rabbits in that first week after your period, if just for the extra fun!

The only other thing that I think made I difference to me was I was doing more exercise than I had managed before (probably ever) over that summer (the 3 months preceding). Swimming maybe once a week, a bit of cycling for fun, and the occasional 'fun' jog, and walking a lot. It was actually all in the name of keeping my work stress and sanity in check, but I think it resulted in a bit more than that?!
I'm 28 weeks now.

Womble- how are you doing? Thinking of you.

Blondes - that's brilliant, congrats!

Usually and Christmas - thank you v much for tips. Christmas, funnily enough I had also just moved out of a high pressure role when I conceived ds at 41. I think it helped for similar reasons as you.

If anyone else has tips wd love to hear them and will share with the 40+ ttcers.

Thanks all for the advice re amnio/Harmony – I hadn't heard of Harmony. Last pg I was 33 so nothing untoward – but that sounds reassuring. Fingers crossed I won't need either though!

Clara, this is totally a hunch thing but I reckon I was deficient in Vit D beforehand and started taking D-Lux spray six weeks or so before my BFP. Hope that helps!

Thank you mouse! I'm sure you're right on that first week, tho also takes Christmas' point on man action through month! Exercise also interesting- good to hear as trying to do bit more at mo!

Def worth taking vit d plus once preg you are meant to take daily along with folic avid

Def worth taking vit d plus once preg you are meant to take daily along with folic avid

Hi - thanks for the well wishes. I'm home for now. Discharged at 9 with a bag full of meds. Liver is not functioning well so I'm back in DAU Wednesday for some tests and repeat bloods. Scan was ok - nothing blocked in gallbladder just full of sludge and stones - sonographer let me have a quick look at baby and he was playing with his feet
Have eaten and am going to sleep - really tired and spaced out from morphine. On the plus side I got a trial run of life on the labour ward and cannot fault the care so feeling so much more positive. Under strict instructions to go back in if anything reoccurs.
Goodnight all and thank you for listening xx

Oh great news Womble, I am glad you are home. Do they have any idea why your liver is playing up? Hopefully the meds will keep you stable for as long as you need. Sleep well! X

Womble - glad you're home safe. Sleep well!

Glad home with meds @womble and hope they keep you and baby stable

Lovely you saw baby again