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450 replies

nikcola · 02/06/2004 23:05

im was going to change my name cause im too shook up,
i stopped taking my pill a month ago and me and dp have been having sex as normal but he hasnt been coming inside me (sorry to be graphic) my period is a week late ans i just done 2 pg tests and they are both positive i really dont want to be pg and i dont no what to do im s**ting myself the docs is shut till tuesday what do i do

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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WideWebWitch · 12/06/2004 01:45

Me too Nikcola (give him a smack and make it better for you I mean). Please, please get the money out of him. It's the very bloody least he could do.

spacemonkey · 12/06/2004 01:50

nikcola

HUGS X

nicmum2boys · 12/06/2004 01:55

I think you have every right to be angry with him. He has put you in an impossible position, and doesn't seem to take any responsibility for his actions. What an awful thing for his mum to say about your daughter...I can't believe anyone could say that about any child, least of all thier own grandchild. At least you know where he gets his complete lack of compassion from (not that that excuses him). How did he react when you shouted at him?
I'm so sorry for you, and like lou33 wish I could make it all better for you.
So glad I didn't offend you the other day. Would hate to think I had added to your problems.
Thinking of you, nicemum x

jampot · 12/06/2004 02:13

I feel the same as everyone else nikcola - at least get the money from him (and make sure you double the price when you tell him how much) or better still go and ask his parents for it or maybe even pay their religious leader a visit just to sully the family's character at having a ds like your partner (actually better not do that one I was just getting carried away)... just a thought, who will have your little girl when/if you go ahead with the procedure?

motherinferior · 12/06/2004 11:54

Good point, Jampot.

I think you had every right to shout at him; sounds like he really doesn't give a f*ck about you two,

motherinferior · 12/06/2004 12:00

I suggest you get on with booking an appointment, and just concentrate on getting the money out of him too. Find out from Brook etc who you can talk to about it as well. Think about who'll have dd. All the practicalities. I don't mean to sound overly brisk or bossy, just concerned that all this is looming over you. Make a list of 'things to do' and work your way down it.

I DO sound bossy, don't I! Sorry!

Ghosty · 12/06/2004 12:02

Nikcola ...
So sorry you have to be going through all of this . Sending hugs from NZ to you {{{{{}}}}}

nicmum2boys · 13/06/2004 23:10

Hi nikcola, just wondering how you are?

motherinferior · 14/06/2004 11:49

Nikki, how's it going? Have you booked an appointment? And has he arranged to give you the money?

Take care
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Original poster
nikcola · 14/06/2004 15:06

no he cant give me the money he hasnt got it, but its ok ill just wait till my nhs appointment ive made an appointment at my docs to try and push for a earlier appointment thats tomorow so ill have to wait till then but apart from that im ok i just feel sick and lazy xxxxx

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BIBIBOO · 14/06/2004 17:00

Nickola,

I can't believe he hasn't got the money for you to go private - surely he could find it from somewhere! Hope your DR is understanding tomorrow and you get seen earlier, this must be awful for you. Thinking of you,
xx

Original poster
nikcola · 16/06/2004 15:15

well my doctor was crap aperently i have hte earliest appointemt you can get

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Twinkie · 16/06/2004 15:20

Nikola ring the bastard back and tell him that £350 now is a small price to pay when he will be paying the CSA each month for 2 kids if you can;t have this abortion - lay it on thick - he will have to find the money.

And for goodness sake stop sleeping with him - he cares not a jot for you or your pretty baby girl and is just using you - he has no love, decency or respect.

Go get yourself a big strong man and forget about this pussy mummies boy once and for all!!

Momof2 · 16/06/2004 15:31

Nikcola - call the hospital you are having the termination with and tell them you want them to put you on a cancellation waiting list. Or tell your Dr that you want him to do it. There are women who change there mind at the last minute and so gaps become available.
xx

Original poster
nikcola · 17/06/2004 23:40

its not that easy twinkie

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hercules · 18/06/2004 00:35

Twinkie is right nikcola. There are plenty of good men out there. Yours is only interested in himself. If you continue to sleep with him you are giving him permission to treat you this way.

Life really will get better even if he's not there.

nutcracker · 18/06/2004 00:41

Nickola, would he be more forthcoming with the money if he thought his family might find out about it ???

Original poster
nikcola · 20/06/2004 02:18

no his family really dont give a sh*t

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motherinferior · 21/06/2004 12:24

It never is that easy, love. Never never never. But he isn't treating you the way you deserve.

How are you today? I've been offline with no computer!

Twinkie · 21/06/2004 12:42

Believe me when I say I know its not easy but the longer you stay and the more you let him into your life (and your body) the worse things will get and the less self worth you will have - IMO and I'm sorry if this hurts but you can;t have much as it is after the way he has treated you but it won't get better - it can't get better and you can't climb back to being the person you were without him and his shit until you have got rid of him from your life.

Have you got a friend that you can call on to give you a hug when you feel shitty - is this why you are letting him sleep with you - physical reassurance - being close to someone - if it is you have to realise that he is not giving you anything - you are making all the reassurance up - buy yourself a bear, get yourself a friend but please honey stop letting him use you like he is.

It is strange though - when I see you writing I think - he is typical of the kind of Asian men who have no respect for women but he has for his mother hasn;t he - he has no choice cause she doesn;t let himget away with any shit - that is the stance you have to start taking - be strong and decide what you want in life - but decide only from the things that are positive (he isn;t) and start going for it.

All the best and if there is anything I can do email me. XXX

Original poster
nikcola · 21/06/2004 21:16

thank you im fine today, did you get my email add off blu motherinferior??
i no what you mean twinkie i no he is treating me like s*it but i really am scared of being on my own thats why i put up with it

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nutcracker · 21/06/2004 21:39

Nikcola, you shouldn't be scared of being on your own. With him gone there would be you and your gorgeous dd and you will both have your whol lives in front of you.
You will be off to college making new friends and your Dd will be having a whale of a time with her new friends at nursery.

When you finnish college you'll be able to find good job that you are happy doing, and your dd will be soooo proud of you for being such a great role model.

You are such a nice person, you deserve to be happy and have agood life.

Nutty xxxx

motherinferior · 21/06/2004 22:21

And Nikki - the thing is, in lots of ways you ARE on your own at the moment. You're coping, you're looking after your lovely daughter, you're managing all this total sh*te that's happening to you. It doesn't feel like it, but you are.

I've stayed with blokes because I was scared of being on my own (and I had much less reason than you because I didn't have any children!). Guess what? I did manage on my own, really rather well. And I even met somebody lovely afterwards.

As Aloha said, you can love someone and still feel you have to leave them.

Bibiboo · 22/06/2004 16:38

Nickola,

Please don't be afraid of being on your own - there are much worse things, like being with someone who treats you badly.
Believe us when we say you will be happy and confident and okay, just you and your dd. It can't be worse than living in misery can it?
I know this isn't easy and it's a frightening thing to do, set out on your own, but loads of women do it and come out the better for it. Just have a litte faith in yourself and your abilities and you'll get on fine.

Hope it works out for you, whatever you decide

x

Blu · 22/06/2004 16:42

College is going to open up the world for you...you'll meet new people, get started on a new life which will, when you're ready, lead to fulfilling and paid employment....you've done so well to go for it when you have had all this hassle to contend with!