Pregnancy after infertility

[bananafish81]

Thought I’d start this thread as I find myself feeling quite out of place on the ‘normal’ antenatal club threads - find it difficult to relate to being upduffed after 'just' having some sex, and thinking ahead to buying maternity clothes, how much maternity leave to take, where I’d like to give birth etc

I realise it’s entirely my own issues and that infertility world has clouded my views, but I want to scream ‘DON’T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG!!’.

There’s a thread for pregnancy after previous loss, but thought there might be some kindred spirits who are navigating the world of pregnancy after infertility

Got a referral to EPU for scan in the morning. Got pretty bad cramps, I'm thinking the worst. I thought I'd be scared before my first scan but this is going to be worse than I imagined.

Good luck Kiwi. I'm rooting for you. I really hope everything goes well in the morning.

Thanks HP. I'm miscarrying. I wish this wasn't happening.

Thanks everyone for all your support, you're the best bunch. I hope I'll one day be back on this thread or one like it.

Oh Kiwi my heart goes out to you. Hope you have someone with you today. Xx

Oh no kiwi 😳. Biggest of hugs. Have they told you you are miscarrying? Hopefully your epu scan is first thing. So so so much love xxx

Kiwi - how scary for you lots of love. X

I'm so sorry kiwi, it's heartbreaking. I hope they are looking after you.

Kiwi, look after yourself and please make sure you still go to EPU for your appointment today, they might tell you otherwise? Sending you lots of love and support.

Thanks guys. I don't see what else it could be, I was bleeding heavily all night, at one point on the floor of the bathroom in agony.

Just woke up so will get ourselves to EPU asap for a scan.

Thinking of you and keeping everything I have crossed for good news. Xx

Kiwi I'm so sorry about last night. Lots of love to you today.

kiwi good luck at epu

Hi all, may I join you?

First of all best wishes to kiwi at this time, thinking of you.

I am 5+2 after 5 day fresh transfer, this is our third attempt after one fresh and one frozen failed last year. I have one child who is 7. I have been pregnant once since, three years ago, and MMC was diagnosed at 10 weeks, I lost the pregnancy at 12 weeks but they thought baby died about 8 weeks. I want to feel positive and excited about this pregnancy but I just can't, I am so afraid something will go wrong. I had four days of light bleeding/spotting and some cramps a week after transfer and thought it was all over, so it was a big surprise to get a BFP. I haven't had a hcg but the tests have been getting darker so I'm taking this as a positive. Time is going so sloooooowly, my scan is booked for 7 weeks.

It is nice to find people who understand how it feels. Good luck to us all.

Hellotree, I can so empathise with your feelings about not being able to be posditive and excited about your pregnancy. Welcome to the thread - you'll be right at home here.

Kiwi still thinking of you.

Kiwi i have been thinking of you all day. I hope so much epu had some good news for you. Take care

Hellotree, welcome - the early days drag like anything. I hope your scan in a couple of weeks is good news, it feels like such a precarious time and it can be difficult to allow yourself to be hopeful and happy. Wishing you a boring and uneventful pregnancy!

Kiwi, I hope the EPU staff are / were kind and you haven't had to wait about for hours. If they confirm that things aren't going well you have every right to be upset and any emotions you have (or don't have) are fine. It's such a dismal thing to happen to anyone. xxx

Thanks everyone. You're all fantastic.

Had to wait over two hours but had the scan. Results technically inconclusive but basically it was a miscarriage. Doctor was lovely. The whole thing was beyond sad and depressing, though.

Still at the hospital but hope to go home soon and try to move on from this?! We had hardly told anyone, but telling the people we had told has been so sad. I'd arranged to speak to my mum this weekend but now need to call that off, can't face it.

I'm so sorry Kiwi, my thoughts are with you

So so sorry Kiwi, I really am. Please look after yourself. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. Lots and lots of hugs. X

I'm sorry Kiwi. I've had this post IVF and it is shit. 'Normal' miscarriages are awful, but after IVF I think it's awful-squared. Please don't put any pressure on yourself in any way.

Im so sorry Kiwi put yourself first and only speak to others when you feel up to it. Please look after yourself and be kind to yourself. You are having a ridiculously rubbish time.

I'm so sorry kiwi. Be kind to yourself. It's just not fair.

Really sorry kiwi What the others said, there is no need to prioritise telling or not telling other people. (And you shouldn't necessarily not tell your mum - depending on what kind of mother she is!). Please look after yourself. My heart goes out to you xxx

Thanks everyone I've arranged to stay at home this week and do some work but not full time. Work were really good (was vague with details, we decided we wouldn't tell our employers exactly what happened).

Thanks again and hope everything goes smoothly for all of you. Best of luck.

I had my 12wk scan yesterday and everything is fine at the moment but I am very aware of how fragile it all is.