Pregnancy after infertility

[bananafish81]

Thought I’d start this thread as I find myself feeling quite out of place on the ‘normal’ antenatal club threads - find it difficult to relate to being upduffed after 'just' having some sex, and thinking ahead to buying maternity clothes, how much maternity leave to take, where I’d like to give birth etc

I realise it’s entirely my own issues and that infertility world has clouded my views, but I want to scream ‘DON’T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG!!’.

There’s a thread for pregnancy after previous loss, but thought there might be some kindred spirits who are navigating the world of pregnancy after infertility

Seems like we all had a rubbish night. I don't think the heat helped. What are we going to be like in the middle of the summer? :/

birchy thank you that's reassuring. Still bleeding a bit. I called the hospital maternity helpline last night and they said if gets worse or there is pain to go to A and E. To complicate things I am away for two days for training (on my way now). Not great timing but I figured I should go as it's pretty important and nothing I can do at home but worry!

Oh yes re missed miscarriage, I'm afraid of that too. MMR is measles mumps and rubella vaccine, I wondered what the issue was with that

Sorry to everyone who had crappy nights, I think the heat is not helping! I also have a sore stomach a lot which seems to be trapped wind.

Hope everyone has a good day.

I was just chatting to my sil who is pregnant and she just happened to mention that she has a uti and is bleeding when she urinates because of it. So I just wondering if that was a possibility for your bleeding? uti are more common in pregnancy

One thing I have been told on a number of occasions is that bleeding due to an actual miscarriage would be accompanied by severe cramps. Way worse that period pains. Of course mmc is different but then I don't think you would be bleeding at all in that case. I'm sure there are some exceptions but hopefully that makes you feel a little more relaxed.
Just seen baby kicking from the outside this morning!

Hi can I have a little moan? I'm 12 weeks now, after the scan I wanted to tell people at work - slowly and in my own time. The first person I told already knew from a senior manager. This is despite the fact I had requested confidentiality when I disclosed my pregnancy on health and safety grounds weeks ago. Apparently all our department senior managers know.... I'm so cross and told them I'm angry that my confidentiality has not been respected. I work in hr ffs.,

Hi ladies,

Boris that is so crap and out of order. If you ask for something to be confidential you expect it to be until you are ready to share your news. Are they going to address this with you?

This insomnia is killing me. Thought it was bad enough having pregnancy acne but could cope as was sleeping! Have now been awake every night for last few weeks from 3-5am. If anyone finds a cure please let me know before I turn into a zombie.

Has anyone tried pregnancy pillows? As only 14 weeks not sure if it would work / cure this insomnia or if it's just a marketing ploy?

Xxx

Absolute arseholes boris. I am super worried about telling work (assuming I make it that far) and this just makes me feel worse. You are definitely allowed to feel extremely pissed off about that!

No hints on the insomnia. I have always wanted to know what a pregnancy pillow is - how does it differ from a normal pillow?

That's shocking Boris, what an appalling breach of confidentiality. You have every right to be angry 👿 I'm angry for you!

I hadn't looked into pregnancy pillows as I thought they are shaped to support the bump, and then later be used to support a breastfeeding baby.

MrsLen traditional cures for insomnia, like camomile tea or relaxing before bedtime, are more about getting to sleep in the first place rather than sleeping through so it's a tough one. I found reading or getting up and doing something made me feel sleepy and was better than just lying in bed. It didn't always work though. You might have to ride it out!

I have a full body pregnancy pillow. I do find it useful. You can try and wedge in under your bump for support and put it between your knees to keep your hips in alignment. Also the bit behind you supports your back. I like it, my husband bought it for me as a present when I found out I was pregnant :)

Norms I can't believe they told other people when you had expressed the need for confidentiality. That's so unfair.

I'm really scared- been bleeding all day and it's getting worse. Had to run out after training to buy pads. Just tried to call maternity helpline again but they didn't answer. I'm in another city and am supposed to have drinks and dinner and more training tomorrow but wonder if I need to come home. I'm not sure what is normal- think I passed a clot, not really cramps but a sore tummy. Just burst into tears, please calm me down

AW kiwi I'm so sorry you are so frightened and away from home. If you are so shuck up maybe see were you staying has a walk in centre at the hospital or even just go to A&E. If you need to go home go home! It's only work and it will still be there next week. Are you very far from home? Could your partner come to you?

Hey Kiwi. That sounds awful. I'm sorry you're such a long way from home. Tell someone that you can't make it for drinks and dinner and if you think there is a lot of blood get yourself to A&E (taxi not ambulance unless you're bleeding a LOT). That's what your hospital told you to do when you rang them before isn't it? Is there anyone you know on the training course who could come and hold your hand for a while?

Gosh kiwi. That sounds so scary. Definitely bunk off dinner and go to a&e. Big hugs xx

Bleeding doesn't always mean something bad.

Go home if it'll make you feel better, but if it won't maybe stay with the training and wait for your scan on Friday(?). Or is there a walk in EPU near where you are?

When I was in your situation I went to A&E and needed to have a scan straightaway before I could relax. If I hadn't been able to have a scan I would've come home and worried until my next scan. But I had bleeding and I'm ok, and others on here too, so please don't think the worst.

Thanks guys you're the best.

Maternity helpline told me to get to a and E (no EPU until 14 weeks at my hospital). I'm heading back to London. DH will meet me at my hospital with my notes (was told off for not having them with me by helpline). Thanks for reassurance. This is so scary.

Oh Kiwi, it's so stressful isn't it? The most important and best piece of advice I can give you is do whatever will make you feel better. If that's leaving the training, going home and resting then do that. Or if it's getting to hospital to be checked then go for it. Everytime I have had bleeding the midwives have said to me that there is no hard evidence that resting will make any difference to the outcome but it is very important psychologically to know you have done everything you can. So I always rest and take it easy. I have passed a 2p sized clot before and everything is fine at this end so it's not necessarily the worst. I hope it calms down. If the bleeding is soaking through pads then don't delay and get to a&E.

Good luck Kiwi. I will be thinking of you this evening.

Good plan kiwi. Good luck

Thank you HP really appreciate that. I think getting to hospital will make me feel better as the midwife said I should. Probably will be there all night but think I have to do it. So stressful especially as I'm not at home. Will update you guys later, so good to have this virtual support!

Thinking of you kiwi

Kiwi I'm so sorry to read this. As others have said it's probably nothing but you need to be checked over. Lots of love strong lady. Xx

Thinking of you kiwi.

Thanks everyone.

Boris that's utterly shit about your work. I'd be raging if I was you. I am a bit worried about this too, there's certain people at work who are more senior that I think would tell one or two other senior people and it would be around all of senior management in no time. I am thinking I may now tell my line manager as I already had to tell her I left the training for health reasons. And if I do miscarry I think I'll want to take some time off.

It looks like I'll be at A and E until 1.30 am as it's so busy. I burst into tears in the waiting room after the receptionist was really rude to me (basically acted like I was a time waster although I said I was told to come here). No dignity left, but I figured everyone else waiting wouldn't be bothered by it! When I saw the nurse he was lovely and sent me to urgent care but I'm now looking at a four hour wait. Any interesting news or updates, send my way

kiwi you poor thing. A&E triage is the worst. Hopefully it's not too much longer. Can you download a good book on your phone? Something cheerful and funny. They're trashy, but I always find the Sophie Kinsella books great for displacement activity.

Hoping I'll wake up to some very good news from you, and glad you're getting yourself seen to xx

Hope the time passes quickly Kiwi, you get the reassurance you need and get home to bed for some well needed rest.