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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Pregnancy after infertility

1000 replies

bananafish81 · 03/03/2016 13:15

Thought I’d start this thread as I find myself feeling quite out of place on the ‘normal’ antenatal club threads - find it difficult to relate to being upduffed after 'just' having some sex, and thinking ahead to buying maternity clothes, how much maternity leave to take, where I’d like to give birth etc

I realise it’s entirely my own issues and that infertility world has clouded my views, but I want to scream ‘DON’T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG!!’.

There’s a thread for pregnancy after previous loss, but thought there might be some kindred spirits who are navigating the world of pregnancy after infertility

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stealthbanana · 02/05/2016 12:54

Hello, can I join? Am currently 5+2 after my first round of IVF. My first two betas were great from a hcg perspective but also showed a massive drop in progesterone between the 2 (first one 83.5, second one 27Shock). So I had my cyclogest upped and am going back for a third beta on Thursday (5+5) to check the progesterone. So am specifically stressed about that, and more generally just wondering how on earth this baby thing is ever actually going to happen to me!

Naively, I thought that a BFP was time to relax...little did I know

HP07 · 02/05/2016 14:50

Hello Stealthbanana, welcome to the thread. Great bunch of ladies here ready to support you. Good luck with your next blood test. I hope to hear more good new from you soon.

BorisIsBack · 02/05/2016 19:45

Stealth

BorisIsBack · 02/05/2016 19:48

As for 1st scan at 10 weeks - is that in America / Australia / land of private health care?

stealthbanana · 02/05/2016 19:49

Hi boris! Lovely to see you here. Don't quite feel like I've properly "graduated" yet but so glad to see you've made it.

Thanks hp!

And I think I'll have a fat stomach imminently whether or not the baby makes it, given I have basically eaten nothing but carbs for the last 2 weeks. It is fairly disgusting.

BorisIsBack · 02/05/2016 20:10

Stealth - very undeestabdable. Are you planning an early scan? I had one at 7+5 - I wouldn't beleive IT was real till then. I'm still terrified / feeling like a fraud waiting for my 12 week scan. I'm still stalking the other thread - not posting much but over invested in everyone's journeys!

stealthbanana · 02/05/2016 20:18

Yes definitely going to have an early scan, assuming Thursday's bloods are ok and we get that far. No way am I waiting til 11/12 weeks! (Btw I am going private and I think the first scan is at 11wks unless you have the Panorama test when they do it at 10wks).

And I am definitely hanging around the other thread, I want everyone to get those BFPs!

BorisIsBack · 02/05/2016 20:35

My scan at 7 weeks was external - no dildo cam. So civilised!!!

stealthbanana · 02/05/2016 21:15

Golly! Perish the thought! What will I do without my weekly rogerings from the dildocam?! I am guessing whether its internal or external will depend on timing of the scan. Hopefully I get to that point!

birchygoo · 02/05/2016 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsLen · 03/05/2016 07:27

Morning everyone,

Wow cannot believe I'm 13 weeks pregnant today! Was at friends wedding on Sunday and it was a surreal experience being sober. Managed to stay up till midnight and was so proud of myself.

I've received a letter to see the consultant tomorrow as I've been classed high risk of DVT due to age (37) and IVF. Has anyone else had this? I feel nervous and not sure why!

Hope you all have a lovely day. Xx

Blueroses99 · 03/05/2016 08:40

I'm 11wks and haven't been able to wear my jeans since 7wks! My mum says she didn't show til 7mths with me so definitely not genetic.

I have to see a consultant due to high risk of gestational diabetes due to ethnicity. Probably not worth being nervous, I think these extra risks are determined on a tick box/statistical basis and doesn't necessarily mean you are at risk. Hope it goes well MrsLen.

I've only ever had dildocam scans so the external scan due next week will be a novelty!

Good luck on Thursday Stealthbanana.

BorisIsBack · 03/05/2016 08:44

MrsLen I'm also 37 and had ivf ... I've not had that letter yet but I'm a couple of weeks behind you. I'll let you know if I get it or not. I think blue is totally correct tho the stats put you on a certain scale therefor they initiate a procedure to be on the safe side.

HP07 · 03/05/2016 09:58

I am also seeing a consultant at 24 weeks due to my previous surgery to remove a chocolate cyst from my ovary. I wouldn't be surprised if quite a few of us have other risk factors because of our infertility history. I think you can relax and be reassured they are just taking extra special care of you! :) I was in again at the hospital for MORE anti d yesterday evening and a listen in to baby's heartbeat. Was working yesterday and started spotting, my boss let me go home/to appointment, she's really lovely. Because it was bank holiday I ended up having to go to the labour ward as there were no midwives available at the other two centres I usually go to. Bless my husband, he said I hope we get a room like this when you give birth. I said it will probably be very similar, why? Turns out he thought you give birth on a ward with just a curtain round you! ;)

HP07 · 03/05/2016 10:07

Ps I also like to celebrate as today I'm halfway to the finish line! Horaaaaaaay!

kiwiblue · 03/05/2016 10:22

hp that's great, congrats! Haha re your DH's comment!

Welcome stealth, you made me laugh with your comments re weekly rogerings!

Hi birchy and boris, hope you're both doing well.

mrslen good luck for tomorrow's appointment, let us know how it goes.

I'm nearly 11 weeks, have had no appointments or scans- booking in appointment is on Friday and scan next week. Also feel like total fraud!

My tummy is definitely fatter. DH declares he can't tell which makes me wonder what he thinks it looks like normally Hmm I can still get my jeans done up but I'm not sure for how much longer. Also I ate the most disgusting amount of food in the weekend, mostly carbs!

BorisIsBack · 03/05/2016 12:49

Can I ask any of you who have had ivf - did you tell people it's an ivf pregnancy?

We told my pil that we are expecting, they knew we had IVF. They were suitably pleased but mil said that we shouldn't tell people we had the ivf and just to pretend it didn't happen. I'm confused as to how to take this! And a bit upset, ivf was a big deal for me and might explain my anxiety and mood swings to other people. I know she is from a different generation where ivf is uncommon, also for religious reasons she may disapprove about playing God. But she's a health worker - she must know how normal ivf is these days?

BorisIsBack · 03/05/2016 12:49

Sorry for the massive 'me' post

HP07 · 03/05/2016 12:55

I didn't end up having to go through IVF in the end but it was on the cards. If I had, then I would certainly have told people. Its nothing to be ashamed of or hide and infertility is a massive taboo anyway so why make it worse by sweeping something so important to you under the carpet?

Blueroses99 · 03/05/2016 13:18

My mil also said not to mention the IVF, as she didn't want people to gossip about us, especially as we often get comments about how we've been married 5 years now and we should get a move on...

Everyone that knows right now, knows it was IVF (I only told those that I have relied on for support). Once we share the news more widely, I think I will want to be quite open about the IVF - but only if I feel comfortable talking about with that person, face to face. There is nothing to be ashamed of, and it was quite an ordeal. Once you start talking about it, you might find there are others in the same boat that also feel relieved to speak to someone that understands!

BorisIsBack · 03/05/2016 15:00

Blue I tvink you are spot on. One of the reasons I want to talk about ivf is that my SIL is infertile (and mil talks about that with everyone ALOT) and I think it might help SIL to hear our story. Nice to know it's not just my mil who said not to mention it.

Blueroses99 · 03/05/2016 16:14

I think that would be nice of you Boris.

I have a colleague in a different office that I speak to like 5 times a day, we work really closely. Last time we met in person she told me that she had just been referred for IVF. She is where I was a year ago so then I told her about everything that I was going through and we've become even closer since. She's been really supportive through the whole cycle, and I've been sharing whatever I can to help her! It is so prevalent in our society yet not talked about.

miamiaMo · 03/05/2016 17:16

bananafish81 - Remain positive. You should and have to. I keep all my fingers and toes crossed. Warm hugs

MrsLen · 03/05/2016 17:34

Thanks ladies will let you know how I get on. Smile

I actually told all my work colleagues today as the bump is making sure everyone knows it's there - no hiding for sure.

And I've said its an IVF pregnancy as hoping it will help others who might be going through similar things. Everyone was very supportive especially when I was asked and advised it was our 2nd go as 1st didn't work. From the lovely reactions I've had I think it makes people happier for you. So in short I say yes tell people it's IVF. Xx

birchygoo · 03/05/2016 22:05

I requested my post above was removed as if my friends stumbled across this the post would have been a big give away!

I also agree ivf should be spoken about much more openly. Hopefully like depression it is becoming easier for people to talk about it.

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