Pregnancy after infertility

[bananafish81]

Thought I’d start this thread as I find myself feeling quite out of place on the ‘normal’ antenatal club threads - find it difficult to relate to being upduffed after 'just' having some sex, and thinking ahead to buying maternity clothes, how much maternity leave to take, where I’d like to give birth etc

I realise it’s entirely my own issues and that infertility world has clouded my views, but I want to scream ‘DON’T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG!!’.

There’s a thread for pregnancy after previous loss, but thought there might be some kindred spirits who are navigating the world of pregnancy after infertility

No cramps and no blood (but neither did she as far as I know). So trying hard to think positive. I'm 8 weeks.

Is it possible that you are over sensitive to your symptoms because of the sad situation with your friend? Symptoms come and go. I know it's hard to be positive but stress isn't going to help you either. If you are really worried could you book a private scan between now and 12 weeks as a reassurance? Take care.

Hi birchy, please try not to worry, the way that you're feeling doesn't mean that anything bad has happened. Each day of pregnancy can be different as the body is going through so much. And please don't compare yourself to someone who has a history of miscarriages. Hopefully your friend has the support that she needs right now. I would say that you are entitled to be selfish at this time. When are you next due at the clinic?

I do really think it is me just over worrying and I am constantly trying to talk myself out of it as well.
I had considered a private scan but then talked myself out of it as well as its only a picture in time. Doesn't tell you what's going to happen next week. My friend had one week before and all was fine.
I do need to keep reminding myself we are different with different issues. She has no difficulty in getting pregnant - whereas took me nearly 2 years to get here.
My next scan isn't until another 4 weeks as when then seen heartbeat at 6 weeks they discharged me.
I think I'm just being a worrier about everything. As I was also upset yesterday as I feel I might lose my friend if everything does go well for me as it may just be too hard for her to be around me saying both babies were due at same time. I would so understand if this was the case but would be gutted to lose her friendship (she doesn't know I'm pregnant and obviously I can't tell her anything soon - wasn't planning on it until after 12 week scan anyway)

How very upsetting for you. I think your friend will be happy for you but will also be struggling with her own emotions. So long as your sensitive to her I don't think you need to worry about losing your friendship.
Yes the scan would only be a snapshot in time but would give you the reassurance you need at the moment. The early days are very hard and even now I still struggle to believe that I might bring home a baby later this year. I go from excitement one day to fear of everything going wrong the next.

Hi everyone thanks for the cold advice!

Boris that sounds tough, and don't worry about ranting it's what we're here for! HP is right, you have to just go easy on yourself and rest as much as you need to. How did dinner go?

birchy do try not to worry. I know easier said than done though, I have the same thing from time to time. I have not been feeling as sick or tired lately and that sometimes worries me- but as someone else said try to stay positive. Definitely a difficult situation with your friend, though. I completely agree with the thing about hard to believe might be bringing a baby home later this year- I still haven't had an appointment or scan yet so sometimes still not sure it's real! (I'm 10 weeks now)

Tomorrow I have my appointment at the hospital fertility clinic that was booked in when we went just before I got pregnant. I told them I'm pregnant but they still want to see us to discuss results etc- fine by me but will be strange as I never thought this would be the outcome at the next appointment!

Hey Kiwi, how did your appointment go today?

Hey how is everyone doing? Kiwi how was your appt?

Kiwi - thanks to you all for your support afte my rant the other day. Dinner went well although everyone else went out for drinks after and I went to bed at 9pm!! It's funny how symptoms and issues vary day by day isn't it? Somedays are definitely better than others.

Hope you are all ok and kiwi your appibtnent went well.

Thanks guys. It went well- she was just really nice (I credit her as the reason I got pregnant, as we'd just seen her when I got pregnant and she was so reassuring after 2.5 years of struggles and no plans). She has discharged me, and also gave us some advice on how long to wait next time before seeking help (assuming all goes well this time!)

boris she also asked how I was feeling and mentioned tiredness as a 'good' symptom to have- and I noticed DH was more solicitous after that- so definitely don't worry, you are within your rights to be exhausted!

Having a grump this afternoon. Was trying to take a nap before my 14 hr night shift when I was woken by the doorbell. So tired and can tell I am going to be in a mood tonight if it turns out to be a busy shift! I also have the start of a cold. Glad everything seems to be going well for you guys though. :)

That sucks hp - hope the night shift goes OK. I thought I was getting a cold earlier this week but it doesn't seem to have come to much, I hope it is the same for you!

I've got that pre-cold feeling too, hope it passes quickly for everyone.

Hope the night shift isn't too demanding HP.

Sounds like a really positive appointment kiwi and I'm pleased to hear that exhaustion is good!

Hope everyone else is well!

I've started to get a red rash on my breasts. It seems to come and go but I've noticed it being worse at bedtime the last couple of days. Not sure if it's related to stretch marks (I have grown a lot already!) or something to worry about. Has anyone had anything like this?

I wonder if your skin is just more sensitive when your pregnant as I keep getting patches of eczema on my arms which I've never really suffered with before either.

I have incredibly dry skin on my hands and I get really sore dry skin on my legs which is almost rash like. What annoys me though is my hair is greasy - it's like ALL the oils in my body are making my hair look like I wash it in a chip pan.

I'd check in with your midwife though for a rash - or Google medical sites - just Incase is an indicator of something else.

Hi Boris. I've been having the same skin problems, including an incredibly itchy rash on my ankles. Midwife suggested calamine lotion then pharmacist suggest a lotion that's a mix of aqueous cream and calamine lotion so it isn't too drying, but I haven't been able to actually find it yet. I'm finding just staying moisturised and not scratching helps. The midwife didn't seem concerned or even look at it. I read if you have itchy skin later in pregnancy it can be a sign of the liver not processing things properly, but I think we're a bit early for that, although worth getting checked out. Would be interested to hear if you get any other tips from your midwife.

I also read about rashes being indicative of liver problems takoyaki but it does seem too early. I'll see how it goes over the weekend and get it checked out next week if it doesn't improve. I'm finding Aloe Vera very soothing at the moment.

I have a couple of dry patches, one between the fingers of my left hand which I noticed even before the positive pregnancy test. The midwife didn't seem to think it was a common pregnancy symptom but from what I'm reading on here it can't be a coincidence.

By the way, I just got a bill from the hospital in Paris for 107 euros. Well worth the peace of mind but totally took for granted that there would be a charge. Can you imagine that here?!

Blueroses did you not show them your E111 or whatever its called these days? Im sire that would have entitled you to exemption from medical fees.

Last night at work was flipping mental. I'm off to bed now after a bath and breakfast. Night all. ;)

I couldn't find my EHIC card so unfortunately didn't have it with me. It doesn't waive all fees though, just means that you are treated the same as a local.

Interesting. Thanks for that Blueroses. You learn something new everyday! Already awake from my post work sleep! The joys of being pregnant - waking up every 5 mins for a wee and I probably shan't bother to go back to bed now.

I think I need to pay in full then claim a part refund with a copy of the EHIC. My French isn't good enough to figure out how much refund though, I'd need to translate the invoice and then the claim site! In any case it's cheaper than my travel insurance excess of £100 and half the price of a scan at my IVF clinic!

I don't envy you working nights HP! Hope you manage to get some rest today.

Yes it is a bit hardcore doing the nights now I'm pregnant but they have also arranged extra help for me which is great. I didn't work last night and I had the most amazing sleep since I've been pregnant! Think I was just shattered!

Blue how is the rash today?
Hp07 hats of to you by 10pm I'm ready for bed. I'm normally such a night owl not even getting tired u til midnight. Now I am dragging myself to bed at any opportunity.

I still don't have many symptoms of sickness etc. No bleeding or cramps. I was on holidays for last 10 days. Home tomorrow - not sure if I should be worried about lack of symptoms. I have midwife appointment next fri?. Should I just wait and see what she thinks? I am 9 weeks today.
Also catching up with friends from home recently - (I have moved locations) they were saying protocol with them was first scan at 10 weeks!! That would be nice! Would mean I only have another week to wait! Instead I have 3 :-(

Hi birchy, don't worry about not having pregnancy symptoms, some people just don't. For example nausea can be reduced by eating and drinking certain things (I think one of the B vitamins) so maybe you've just got a very good diet! But do talk it through with your midwife.

I've never heard of 10wk scans as standard, but they do it at 12 for good reason. Also foetus grows so much between 10 and 12wks there will be much more to see. Unless you want a private scan, be patient (I know it's tough!!)

The rash still seems to come and go, as I noticed it had moved from the top to the underside earlier but tonight it seems to have gone. I think it's to do with stretch marks though and I've been moisturising with aloe vera twice a day and bought some nightie tops with built in support to see if that helps.