Pregnancy after infertility

[bananafish81]

Thought I’d start this thread as I find myself feeling quite out of place on the ‘normal’ antenatal club threads - find it difficult to relate to being upduffed after 'just' having some sex, and thinking ahead to buying maternity clothes, how much maternity leave to take, where I’d like to give birth etc

I realise it’s entirely my own issues and that infertility world has clouded my views, but I want to scream ‘DON’T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG!!’.

There’s a thread for pregnancy after previous loss, but thought there might be some kindred spirits who are navigating the world of pregnancy after infertility

HP07 - hope everything is ok and your are relaxing & everyone is looking after you. Xx

Thanks. Everything is fine thanks. Work are being very supportive and looking into ways they can help me and make life a bit easier. How is everyone else getting on?

Glad to hear that HP!

I'm feeling OK, less tired than I was earlier this week. I'm off for a big weekend where I can't tell anyone i'm pregnant but will no doubt be bailing early from the night out so will be pretty obvious!

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Hi everyone! I'm absolutely exhausted and am looking forward to a relaxing weekend.

Hope you have a good weekend kiwi, it's tough socialising when no-one knows but don't stress too much.

I've been so tired the last few days, only worked 3 1/2 days last week and didn't really manage to do anything any evening.

Kiwi I managed to party last Saturday to the early hours, you might we'll be fine... I can reccomend Ginless gin and tonics!

Hi ladies,

I'm 11+5 today and the tiredness is getting worse not better. Know some is down to stressful job but just wondering if true that things get better from week 12 or is that a myth?

Thanks guys... I managed to stay out until 1am. I pretended to drink prosecco at dinner and then drank mixers with no alcohol (it was a private party in a club, with table service and 6L bottles of Belvedere vodka- I always wanted to go to a party like that, ironic when I finally did I wasn't drinking!) I did get people asking if I was OK and saying I seemed distracted- was a shame it's too early to tell people.

mrslen I've heard that a lot- fingers crossed it's true!

blueroses and boris hope you had nice relaxing weekends.

HP how are you?

Hi Everyone,

Mrs Len - I think in general you do start to feel a bit better in the second trimester but I am still tired pretty much all of the time really. By about 14-15 weeks I definitely felt a lot better overall, still not fantastic but maybe a bit less fatigued. I don't need to nap every day now! ;)

Glad you managed to enjoy your night out kiwi albeit alcohol free but them you have a pretty amazing secret reason!

I'm OK, another episode of red spotting this evening. I just have the feeling this my lot and I will have to accept it will keep happening. The reassuring thing is now I can feel the baby moving around more. I think I will still have to call the midwife tomorrow to see if I need another anti d.

Hope everyone had a nice weekend.

Gp sorry about the spotting - keep doing what your MW tells you. Glad you feel the baby move :)

Can I ask thoes of you who work full time but feel tired all the time - how do you cope with work? Any tips?!

hp sorry to hear that but glad you can feel the baby

boris I'm not sure, I'm also keen to hear any tips! Last week I had to go home and nap on Wednesday afternoon. I felt awful. It did get me through the rest of the week though. One thing I tend to do is work from home once a week and I've found that really helps now I'm pregnant- is that an option for you? Luckily I have today off and this weekend is a long one so two 4-day weeks!

Sounds like a fun weekend Kiwi. Last time I went out I was ordering mocktails but got rumbled straightaway by someone overly familiar with the cocktail menu!

Boris I can only manage the tiredness and full time work by not having much of a life outside work at the moment! 4 day weeks definitely help so the bank holidays are great, I've sometimes taken a whole day or half day off for an appointment or try to work from home one day a week otherwise. I have a 1 hour commute each way (train and tube) so avoiding 2 hours of travel whenever I can really helps.

Hi everyone,

Currently working a 40 hour / 5 day week in the office which is about a 90 minute commute each way from home.

To be honest the working day is ok as I'm really busy and it keeps my mind off stressing about bump. It's once I leave the office the tiredness kicks in as my body knows it can relax and then DH gets annoyed that I'm doing too much and heading to bed at 7:30 each day.

Currently sugar fixes and buttered toasted bagels are getting me through the day but like Boris said appreciate any tips. Xx

blueroses haha, yes I did think that was a risk with the mocktails especially as I was worried the bartender had put alcohol in and made DH check, bet it was obvious!

mrslen yum, bagels!! Your commute is tough, well done for getting through that.

Guys, what's safe to take for a cold? I came down with it yesterday and have a really sore throat so took a throat lozenge in the middle of the night, then worried I shouldn't have! Usually the most I would take is paracetamol but I'm not sure what the recommendations are. I'm going to work from home today!

It is preferable not to take paracetamol in the first trimester apparently but I did. I had a horrendous cold when I first found out I was pregnant, achey, hot and cold etc. As long as you take the smallest dose necessary for the shortest period of time possible then that is best you can do if you need it. Otherwise good old honey and lemon? Hope you feel better soon.

Just been to the midwife for the anti d injection and when she looked at my notes she said 'oh my goodness, this is the amount of notes I'd expect to see for a woman about to give birth!!!!'
I'm only 19w today. What can I say, this baby is a troublemaker!

Thanks hp - am guzzling honey and lemon!

Haha re your notes- but as long as the baby is happy and healthy that's what matters- hope they continue to look after you.

Kiwi sorry about the cold. There are some basic cold sweets which are basically just sugar (rather than decongestant) which may help a little. Speak to a pharmacist as most cold stuff is not advised.

Hp - glad they are helping you - must be a pain to have to keep going back

I'm working from home today, it's not easy getting permission from my work to do this but I had to try. DH has invited friends over tonight for dinner and to stay, I couldn't go to work and sort out the house/dinner without a nap. But now I'm really cross with dh. I know he would do all the neccesary cooking / bed making if I don't but it would be haphazard at best. DH is getting really bored that I won't go out much or socialise. His exW did loads of fun stuff when pregnant /with new born - I feel compared to. I feel like this is my first baby and exciting but not his :( gah sorry for the rant, very hormonal today.

I was told by the midwife that paracetamol was safe during pregnancy but not to take ibruprofen at all. Add ginger to the honey and lemon, very soothing!

HP, sounds like you're being well looked after!

I had my booking appointment last week and, due to my medical history, they are going to monitor me more closely, which I don't mind at all.

Mmmm...bagels!

Boris I'm sorry you feel that way. Every pregnancy is different and some people really do seem to have it easier than others. Feel free to rant! Having guests is tricky if you're not in the mood for it and it gives you extra work, but perhaps tell them that you've been under the weather (if they don't know you're pregnant) and keep it simple?

Hi everyone, glad to see everyone is keeping well.

Kiwi I also came down with a cold on sat. Really bad sinus headache. Spent all of sun in bed. I found steaming, saline nose spray and lockets have finally got me feeling halfway normal again. I def wouldn't have been fit to work over the weekend if I had to. Would have felt bad not working because of cold. But if you can't medicate you do feel total pants. Luckily I'm on holidays until beginning of may, so am having lots of time to relax and sleep.

I am nearly 27 weeks pregnant & I have only felt less tired in the last two weeks. Sorry, as that might not be want you wanted to hear! I work full time & often working 11 plus hour days, five days a week and oncall one weekend in three. It is tough and something has to give and for me that was a social life. I haven't been out much until recently. It is also much easier when you can tell people at work. I practically fell a sleep in a meeting one day and I can tell people wondered what was going on, when I said I was pregnant it was easier.
boris - it must be hard not to feel like you are being compared. You are doing amazingly having people over for dinner & to stay. You shouldn't be hard on yourself. I find ranting very useful & here is a very good place to do it! Hope it is ok.

I honestly believe that you should all go easy on yourselves. Some people sail through pregnancy and don't understand how it feels to be nauseous, tired, bloated etc etc. Add to that the crazy irrational and sometimes rational fears that we are experiencing especially when getting to this stage has been a huge challenge for all of us. Don't feel compared to, don't feel bad if you're too tired to socialise. Just do what you can manage. We are all unique and so are our pregnancies. Take it easy. :)

Hp - wise words. :) thanks

Well said HP

I had lots of feeling nauseous this last 2 weeks. Got a cold on Fri/sat and now do not feel pregnant at all. Can eat what I want when I want. I am feeling terrified that this means something has went wrong. I think I am also feeling terrified as a friend (who I mentioned before has had multiple miscarriage s) has just had a miscarriage again last week and was same many weeks as me. Help talk some sanity into me! I keep trying to tell myself not to worry - there is nothing I can do to change it. And that I have diff probs to my friend. I also feel so selfish worrying about me when she is going through hell

Birchy, how many weeks are you now? I have some days when I feel pregnant and other days I don't really feel much at all. Even with baby now moving there are days when I don't feel it and that can be scary sometimes. Sorry to hear about your friend. I think you need to be positive unless there is a real reason to worry i.e large blood loss, severe cramping etc.