What's the stupidest thing a midwife/HV/Doctor ever told you?

[BlueberryPancake]

Just thought I'd ask as many discussions with my girlfriends are around that subject and it's always really funny... or sad! My top three:

• When I told my GP that I was considering a home birth, she said 'you're courageous, anyway we have air ambulances so you should be OK'
• A Consultant, during labour, told me that he was going to check my 'down below' and I kept on thinking about Australia!
• Just after birth, a senior midwife told me 'breastfeeding on demand is breasfeeding every four hours'

(actually I'll make it a top four)

• The same senior midwife told me 'you're middle class so you won't breastfeed for very long' (I gave birth at Newham General, in one of the poorest boroughs of London)

Any gems out there?

my mum when she was having my sister (many years ago)
oh no, back to bed, baby won't be coming tonight. SHORTLY followed by 'after this conctraction, would you like to try a little jog down to delivery?'

(I would pay money to hear someone say that to paula radcliffe)