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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

What's the stupidest thing a midwife/HV/Doctor ever told you?

126 replies

BlueberryPancake · 30/11/2006 20:59

Just thought I'd ask as many discussions with my girlfriends are around that subject and it's always really funny... or sad! My top three:

  • When I told my GP that I was considering a home birth, she said 'you're courageous, anyway we have air ambulances so you should be OK'
  • A Consultant, during labour, told me that he was going to check my 'down below' and I kept on thinking about Australia!
  • Just after birth, a senior midwife told me 'breastfeeding on demand is breasfeeding every four hours'
(actually I'll make it a top four)
  • The same senior midwife told me 'you're middle class so you won't breastfeed for very long' (I gave birth at Newham General, in one of the poorest boroughs of London)
Any gems out there?
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Miaou · 01/12/2006 09:20

Ghosty, I had the "wind" comment when I had my appendix out recently - however they did explain to me what it was about! Apparently the bowel does not like being handled - it "sulks" for a while and refuses to operate - so if you just ate straightaway before it was working again you could cause problems. If wind is passing through then it shows the bowel is working again .

(Until it was explained to me though, I was also lying in bed thinking WTF??? I'm bloody starving here... )

macwoozy · 01/12/2006 09:26

I managed to have a look at my hospital notes once, and noticed my gp had written 'she has a flat face' Bloody charming!

xmasstocking · 01/12/2006 09:39

Mine aren't as bad as some on here but here goes:

Being told by the MW, when I was 36 weeks pregnant, that the baby was in position and would definitely be arriving imminently - he came 5 weeks later!

Whilst in labour, my MW told me I was 7 cm dilated and progressing really well - at the change of shift, the next MW said it was barely 5 (which meant I had dilated less than 1 cm in 8 hours) - ended up having a c-section due to failure to progress - original MW, on the ward that night, told me I knew you weren't progressing and would probably end up having a c-section - didn;t think to share those concerns with me then??

Being told by HV, DS had reflux and she dismissed my concerns about his vomiting, by GP, he had gastroentritis, by a student GP, he had reflux and prescribed gaviscon - turned out DS had pyloric stenosis and needed surgery (Ghosty, I assume this is what your DS had?) - to be fair, the HV did apologise when I saw her next and said she didn't like to worry parents by mentioning the possibility of pyloric stenosis - I bloody wish she had as I think we would have taken DS to hospital a lot quicker than we did!

ellceeell · 01/12/2006 09:50

"hmm, well, I think you'll have to accept that you are having an early menopause"
2 weeks later I did a positive pregnancy test!
Came as quite a shock as I had also been told (by doctors) that I could never conceive naturally - I had fertility treatment for ds and dd1

lornaloo · 01/12/2006 09:53

I got thrush on my nipples a few times while I was breastfeeding. I saw my gp and told him I though I had thrush again. He told me it was a bacterial infection and gave me antibiotics. It got loads worse and ended up being thrush. He said 'don't feed your ds for a few days to give it time to heal' obviously I did feed him other wise my milk would have dried up.
I don't know whether this one is right or not but I'll add it anyway.
About 4 days after giving birth to ds it became agony to feed him, I asked my midwife and hv (who were lovely and generally gave me really helpful advise) several times why it was so painful. My midwife kept saying everytime I asked her 'do your toes curl when you feed' I would answer 'yes its agony, sometimes I cry it hurts so much' and she's answer 'thats normal' I though god I'm not breastfeeding if this is what its ment to feel like. I ended up looking in a book and diagnosing myself with thrush, went to bf clinic and got it treated. Just thought it was abit funny that however many times I told her I didn't think the pain was normal she just wouldn't even consider it to be anything but "normal".

liath · 01/12/2006 09:56

When I went to GP pregnant with dd after trying for 4 years, notes full of letters from infertility clinic etc.

GP - What can I do for you?
Me (smiling happily) - I'm pregnant
GP - Oh. Now (patronising voice, head tilts to one side) - is that good news or bad news?
Me - if you'd bothered to read my notes you'd know the answer to that one....

julezboo · 01/12/2006 10:58

I had a D&C after a mmc in march, 3 days later I was in agony wentback up to the hospital, doc gave me and internal, and a scan and told me I was pg again with a new pg!!!!

Later confirmed that would be impossible - swear she was crackers lol

ludaloo · 01/12/2006 11:03

Well... I haven't had silly advise as such, but the midwife who greeted me on the maternity ward,
when I was lying in a wheelchair, waters broken, blood everywhere, screaming in agony, fully dialated, ready to rip my trousers off and push, actually asked me what the matter was !

annobal · 01/12/2006 13:40

In labour at 31 weeks 10 cms dilated - consultant says "you know that the baby would have a much better chance if you kept him in til 34 weeks" !!!

Dr at booking appt for dc3 when asked about independent mw - "not much need for them now that the NHS do home births" (same dr told me to have a couple of days in bed when I told him I had a show and contractions at 27 weeks with ds1).

nogoes · 01/12/2006 13:54

On being discharged from hospital after a c-section I was a bit blase when asked about contraception and the midwife said "You really ought to do something about it asap as you could get carried away with the moment and before you know it you will be back in here with no2"! Lol!

drosophila · 01/12/2006 14:05

When I took a 13mth old DS to A&E with lips 4 times their normal size and difficulty breathing (following a spoonful of Humous) the Doc told me that yes it was an allergic reaction but the good news was that with every successive encounter he would have a lesser reaction. It is infact the exact opposite. Every subsequent reaction gets worse.

SlightlyMadSanta · 01/12/2006 14:20

"your not in labour"

yeah right why was I 9-10cm dilated 30 mins later?

SchneeBallFight · 01/12/2006 14:28

midwife when I was pg with DS2
'did you have a baby in 1979?' WTF!!?? I was born in 1979 you dizzy bint and I dont look that old! (there was a letter about my mum giving birth to me in my file)

SlightlyMadSanta · 01/12/2006 14:29

Member of public commenting on DTDs
her: are they identical?
me: yes
her: is it a boy and a girl?

(if its a boy and a girlos they wouldn't be identical you stupid bat!!!)

mrsmalumbas · 01/12/2006 14:31

Not me personally but while I was living in Singapore a senior OB told a colleague of mine that the reason why Chinese women ALWAYS need to have episiotomies and Caucasian women don't is because Caucasian women have more sex and therefore have bigger vaginas.

yellowvan · 01/12/2006 14:35

me,(looking like i had a beach ball stuffed up me jumper and doubled up in waves of pain,) knocking on the door of the labour ward at ungodly AM in the morning
Midwife: "What seems to be the matter?"!

bumperlicious · 01/12/2006 17:55

I knew a girl who when in labour had cried "It hurts" and the MV said "well they don't call it labour for nothing dear"

Helpful!

bumperlicious · 01/12/2006 17:55

Sorry "MW"

FrannyandZooey · 01/12/2006 18:12

This was the stupidest question, from a doctor, when ds was 2 and a half. I had just told him ds was still breastfed, as I wanted to make sure the medication he was prescribing was safe. He looked at ds (who is hugely tall for his age), did an enormous double take, and spluttered "But.....does he have other foods as well??!"

poppiesmum · 01/12/2006 18:16

Ok, not a health person, but this classic from the night porter manning the door to our maternity hospital entrance.....dh stopped to get the free parking ticket from him as I hobbled past clutching my 7 day overdue belly, doubled up in pain of 4 min contractions, and 'happy to help jobsworth of security guard' asks "don't you think you'd better check she's definately in labour first??????"

poppiesmum · 01/12/2006 18:17

Oh, and it was 2.30am as well (like I had nowhere better to be!)

poppiesmum · 01/12/2006 18:20

And while I'm on the subject...from the mw who examined me "If you lived closer I'd send you home, you'll not be having this baby for ages" Dd arrived 2 hours later!

heavenlyghosty · 01/12/2006 18:42

xmasstocking - YES! Pyloric stenosis ... first mumsnetter I have met whose DC had it too ...

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 01/12/2006 18:45

When ds2 was failing to thrive with RSV, and they were falling over themselves to find out what was wrong with him, before they did a chest X-ray and found out he had contracted RSV in their filthy dirty hospital, they made me give up breastfeeding and threatened me with having him taken away. The HV and a locum doctor accused me outright of starving him and it was really frightening and nasty. When my own GP came back and straightened things out - he knew me/dh and wouldn't entertain the notion that I was starving my baby (in fact he was very angry with the HV and the locum for putting me through the scare that they did) - he organised proper tests to find out what was really wrong, but also told me I must stop breastfeeding that day and put ds2 on "hungry baby" formula. He explained it to me in terms of some cows not being "good milking stock", and said that through no fault of my own I was producing crap watery milk. I believed him, because he seemed to be on our side and I was terrified that we were going to lose our little boy. I did as he said. I am still annoyed and sad about it, actually.

WeaselMum · 01/12/2006 18:46

"nurse advisor" at NHS Direct when my ds was 2 days old and I rang to say he hadn't had a wet nappy in a few hours:

(laughing) "ooh you're not very good with babies are you"
"you have no milk, your baby is not getting anything"
"don't even THINK about breastfeeding him, give him water from a bottle"

grrr