Gender Disappointment

[ChicaMomma]

I feel really awful typing this, the guilt is horrific and i dont quite know what i expect anyone to say!

I'm expecting my second (and last) baby, 17 weeks pregnant today. We have a gorgeous 14 mth old boy who we ADORE. This time i really really wanted a little girl, doesnt every mother want a daughter?

Tried all the tricks- DTD 3 days before ovulation, took calcium and magnesium etc, so when i got the BFP i was SURE it would be a girl, like 99% sure! Had her name picked, everything. Panorama results came back to show... A BOY! I ashamedly cursed on the phone when i got the results.

I feel extra guilt because i have SO many friends who are having difficulties TTC, so i know damn well they'd all kill to be pregnant with their second boy, but all the same i cant shake my disappointment. I'm also afraid that 2 boys so close in age will be stir crazy! How will we cope??!!

Anyhow, as i said, i'm not sure what i'm expecting anyone to say, just looking to put my thoughts down on paper more than anything. I guess i'm a bit worried too that i wont bond with the baby. I hope i will, i'm sure i will, but it's a worry.

I understand what you're saying NoMoreRenting. I found some of the comments I got / still get about having one of each weird and presumptious. Even the woman who measured me for new nursing bras in John Lewis while I was heavily pregnant with DD and had toddler DS in his buggy, complimented me on being "clever" to have one of each, and "in the right order too"!

My mum, when I told her we wouldn't be having any more babies, said "well you don't need to, do you? You got everything you wanted the first two times", even though I'd never expressed a preference to her because I never felt one.

It does kind of make me want another, just to rebel against this perception of the "perfect nuclear family" which is probably to blame for so much of the gender disappointment parents feel. (Although not enough to actually do it!)

Thank you, Mrsfrumble.
It just always made me twitchy but of course, like you say, it's not enough in itself you make you go ahead and have another. It certainly adds weight to the argument though!