I feel really awful typing this, the guilt is horrific and i dont quite know what i expect anyone to say!
I'm expecting my second (and last) baby, 17 weeks pregnant today. We have a gorgeous 14 mth old boy who we ADORE. This time i really really wanted a little girl, doesnt every mother want a daughter?
Tried all the tricks- DTD 3 days before ovulation, took calcium and magnesium etc, so when i got the BFP i was SURE it would be a girl, like 99% sure! Had her name picked, everything. Panorama results came back to show... A BOY! I ashamedly cursed on the phone when i got the results.
I feel extra guilt because i have SO many friends who are having difficulties TTC, so i know damn well they'd all kill to be pregnant with their second boy, but all the same i cant shake my disappointment. I'm also afraid that 2 boys so close in age will be stir crazy! How will we cope??!!
Anyhow, as i said, i'm not sure what i'm expecting anyone to say, just looking to put my thoughts down on paper more than anything. I guess i'm a bit worried too that i wont bond with the baby. I hope i will, i'm sure i will, but it's a worry.
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Pregnancy
Gender Disappointment
ChicaMomma · 03/09/2015 16:14
Thank you, Mrsfrumble.
It just always made me twitchy but of course, like you say, it's not enough in itself you make you go ahead and have another. It certainly adds weight to the argument though! 
I understand what you're saying NoMoreRenting. I found some of the comments I got / still get about having one of each weird and presumptious. Even the woman who measured me for new nursing bras in John Lewis while I was heavily pregnant with DD and had toddler DS in his buggy, complimented me on being "clever" to have one of each, and "in the right order too"! 
My mum, when I told her we wouldn't be having any more babies, said "well you don't need to, do you? You got everything you wanted the first two times", even though I'd never expressed a preference to her because I never felt one.
It does kind of make me want another, just to rebel against this perception of the "perfect nuclear family" which is probably to blame for so much of the gender disappointment parents feel. (Although not enough to actually do it!)
I really don't care how many children people have or why they have them, it's none of my business. I was just because of how you worded your post.
Also, MyGast, would you also be if someone said they went on to have a third to try and get a girl after 2 boys? But to try and get 2 boys after having BG seems unacceptable. But obviously we didn't just have a 3rd child to shock people but I was astounded at people's reactions.
nomorerenting I must admit your post read a bit like the only reason you had a third child was because so many people had congratulated you on having one of each! Which made me a bit
Glad to hear you've gotten your head around it Chica, these threads always attract an unnecessary amount of hate from people who can't seem to comprehend that people have different life experiences and different feelings to them.
When I was pregnant with DD, everyone was convinced I was having a boy. I didn't have a huge preference either way, but everyone had said it so much, referring to the baby as 'he' and 'him' that I had it in my head that we were having a boy (couldn't find out as the awkward bugger had crossed legs on the scan). When DD came out, I was surprised - but at the same time, I couldn't believe I'd ever thought she was a boy. I just felt like - well, of course it's a girl. I think if I'd had a boy, I would have felt the same - like, how could I ever have thought I was having a girl?
We're TTC #2 and I'm already anticipating the 'Ooh, bet you're hoping for a boy this time' and 'Will the family be complete' comments. Looking forward to telling them that as we intend to carry on to three or four regardless of the sex, our family isn't even close to complete
Congratulations on DS2 and best of luck! :)
Really glad you're getting your head around it OP, you can't control your feelings, but once you meet your baby I'm sure you'll adore the sprog.
nomorerenting your post really resonated with me. We have a son, and are expecting mystery baby any day. I really don't mind whether it's a boy or girl, either will be masses of fun, but there is a part of me hoping for a boy simply because of the number of people who have asked me if our family would be complete if we had a little girl, or suggesting that as I have a son I must be secretly hoping for a girl 
, as if a second boy would somehow not be good enough.
Oh, I'd love that Chica, but for various reasons we're done with our 2 (and would have been even if we'd had 2 of the same).
Watching the sibling relationship develop is such a beautiful, beautiful thing, whether they're the same sex of not. Mine fight like cat and dog at the moment (they're 4 and nearly 3), but yesterday they made a den under an old duvet and when I peeped in they were just lying quietly with their arms wrapped around each other. I was told to "go away and stop disturbing our kid time" .
The first time your oldest holds the new baby your heart will just burst.
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