40+ and pregnant? Come and join the fun!

[cloudjumper]

I am 43 and currently pg with DC2, due early January. I thought it would be nice to have a thread for the pregnant ladies of 'older vintage', similar to the 40+ ttc thread, for advice, support and the occasional moan.

Siesta what a great story! I know if I was single I would be doing the same so kudos to you! Have you had a positive response to your pregnancy news? We must be due around the same time :)

Luckygirlcharlie...glad your scan went well, mine was showing a couple days smaller at my early scan ... Just 6 weeks but when I had 12 week scan it showed 12 weeks and 3 days so I had caught up with those missing days. My OH is 32 ....however after the sleepless night we had with our 13 month old we both feel about 60 !!!!

Looks like we're not only the 40+ club but the toyboy club. DH is 35.

I also wonder how I'll cope with 2 under 2 lucky, best to bury head in sand methinks!

Yes, crumble my DP seems relatively ancient at 37. I think calibee is the winner with her 25yo DH!

Hi Calibee, how are you? Lovely to hear all is going well. Where are you packing for?
We are off to Butlins on Monday. Dd is soooooo excited. Taking my neice & nephew too so they'll have a ball.
Sorry some of you have had negative reactions to your pregnancies. Maybe they are just worried & it comes out wrong......?
I'm in the toy boy club too! Dh is 35. He looks waaaay older than me though
I've just had a mani & pedicure for holidays. Gone bright pink for the first time ever - makes me look 25!! (That's what I tell myself anyway).

Hello lovely Ladies !
Am 43 & 24wkk's it's my 3rd but 1st with my dp.. my dc are 11 &8 both very excited.. All our families are plsd for us -phew did worry a bit. Conceived naturally -I didn't think I would get pregnant at my age we had been trying for few months so was ready to accept it wasnt gonna happen til I had symptoms but at that point I thought it might be signs of early.menopause! Silly I know but here we are all is going well .

Thanks GoooRooo and congrats to you! The reaction has been really positive. A couple of people have semi joked that I must be mad but the vast majority have been really supportive. To be honest I feel great about it. I know a few people who motherhood passed by, not because they didn't want children or couldn't have them but because they didn't have a man (or the right man), which I think is a shame. Once I made the decision to go it alone it was like a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm sure it won't be easy but I can't wait for the little one to arrive!

Blimey, my dh is a positive sugar daddy at 46!

Hi all, I'm not 40 yet but will be 2 months off 40 when my baby is due. It's a little surprise for us as we ttc for around 6/7 yrs then stopped trying last year! Oh and my DH is only 34. I felt quite smug when midwife put no next to over 40 on my risk assessment. The consultant kindly pointed out that as 2 months off 40 when I give birth they'll put yes next to it!

'Tis funny how many of us have younger partners. I'm nearly 45, DH is just 39 (thank God he has the energy that comes with the age cause I'm ruddy useless at 39 weeks).

Hi calibee Great that you have found us! How are you & the twinnies doing?! Hope all went well with the scan today, are you team pink or blue...? You must be due around the same time as me, what's your EDD? I'm due on 1 January, but there is a substantial chance this one will be a December baby, as I am strongly leaning towards ELCS... DH even more so. We shall see!

So sorry that some of you are having such meh reactions from your families! I think I'm quite lucky - both mine and DH's family keep any thoughts (if they have any) about having a baby at my age to themselves and only voice positive remarks. But I remember all too well how disappointing it is when your close family members are less than enthusiastic when they hear the baby news - when I told my parents I was pg with DS, my dad had just been diagnosed with a brain tumour and just could not engage in my pregnancy at all (which I completely understood back then and now, but it was so sad that he couldn't enjoy the news. I guess he suspected that he would never meet his first grandchild ).

I went shopping for maternity clothes today - totally frustrating. Why on earth hardly any shops stock them is beyond me I hate having to buy stuff via internet, it's such a faff having to send stuff back etc.! Managed to find 2 pairs of trousers, albeit at a much higher price than I had wanted to spend - but I have nothing to wear!

Decided that I will tell work on Monday. I had wanted to wait until the 20-week scan, but after seeing myself properly in the mirror, I really think I should say something - I have really popped out in the last few weeks . Feeling strangely nervous about it!

Cloudjumper, I hear what you are saying about maternity clothes. I've ended up with 3 pairs of navy blue capri type trousers as that was all I could find. I got a couple of maternity tshirts in H&M and other than that I'm still squeezing into some of my stretchier pre pregnancy tops. I bought some things online but they all had to go back, so I haven't bothered since.

Cloud thanks for the welcome. This thread moves so quickly I can't keep up
Well its looking like we have a boy and a girl...weeee. We are having a rescan in a couple of weeks as the girl was being a little morre demure and keeping her legs together. My official due date ie. 40 weeks would have been 4th Jan but I don't think I will get past mid December.
What a shame that some relatives are/ have been negative. Admittedly mine are certainly not gushing with excitement, however if they can't be nice they can leave me alone. I live so far away from my family sadly that I won't be able to ask for help in any way, which is a shame as I'm sure with twins I may need it.
I've tentatively begun a little shopping in order to spread the cost. I managed to pick up the exact pram I wanted on Gumtree for a fraction of the new price and its only 4 months old.....so thats stashed away in the spare room. I'm fighting with the old tradition of not having the pram in the house before the birth.

Congrats calibee!
Like you and cloud I had an early Jan EDD (2/1) but that was moved to 28/12 at 12 week scan. I'll be having an ELCS though so will prob be looking at pre-Christmas!

I feel your pain re maternity shopping. I will have to revisit my maternity wardrobe from last year although I had a July baby and those floaty dresses from Seraphine will be completely useless in November/December. I wonder if they look good with chunky maternity tights underneath?

Maternity clothes are a nightmare ... Hardly any shops stock their maternity range ... And those that do have such a poor range .... Even though I might look like a hippo I would like to dress like a women. We have a wedding in August I've no idea what to wear at 36 weeks pregnant, have ordered and returned 5 dresses already !!! Sorry for the little rant but find it all a bit frustrating .

Thanks everyone :) there's some reassurance in hearing that not everyone got great reactions either.

Re mat clothes, I sympathise and I am having a march baby, the last one was nov so will def need some new things. Very few high street shops sell mat ranges in stores (annoying as that's the one time you really do need to try it on!) but I did find some things in H and M and also in Red Herring in Debanhams.

I wondered if anyone has any advice. I suffered with severe, I mean severe SPD/PGP with previous son. All the evidence says it gets worse with each pregnancy and I am panicking slightly as I was on crutches, support girdle, weekly 'crap' physio and couldn't walk and really struggled last time ...this time I have a very active 20th old to chase after too! Did anyone else go private or to a specialist to help as the 20 min NHS genera physio app each week really wasn't worth the drive. I'm also starting Pilates wed to try and help strengthen my core. An added complication is I recently ruptured (snapped) my cruciate ligament at a trampoline exercise class (don't, I thought I was an 18yr old gymnast again ...turns out I'm really not) so I was supposed to be having my pre op on 30th with a view to having knee surgery to fix it (not happening now!) I'm still having weekly physio and special exercise classes at the hospital to treat/strengthen it so it's extra important I try and get things under control before the weight / spd takes hold again. Any advice appreciated ???? X

It's gone very quiet...
Vik - poor you with the trampolining accident and the fears of SPD. It must be a real worry.
Although I am pretty inpressed about the trampolining. Last time I went on a trampoline with DS I peed myself - urgent work required on my pelvic floor!
I'm also having a March baby. Haven't thought about maternity clothes yet: rather fortunately, I lost a stone or so before getting pg, so I'm just back in the clothes I wore before I lost the weight. Handy.

Well a guy at work's wife, due two weeks before me, had her baby yesterday at 33 weeks. Eek! Both mum and daughter doing well.

Really must sort out the stuff in the loft!

Gosh I must do too ... All I've got in my hospital bag is some massive pads and a couple of big pants !!!

That's scary, GoooRooo, I'm 31 weeks too and certainly wouldn't be ready if that happened to me in two weeks time! Glad to hear they're both ok though.

At least you've got the bag itself ready, Lola. My hospital bag is still two bits of fabric next to my sewing machine and a list of things I'd planned to make for me or the baby this week while I've got a few days off work!

I did put together a chest of drawers for the baby yesterday but instead of making me feel like I'd made progress, the fact that I've so little to put in them only emphasises how much I have to do still. The baby hated the hammer noise too and curled up in a tight ball for ages until DH sang to my tummy and got him all relaxed again.

Sorry I can't suggest anything for your SPD, Vik but I hope your physio and exercise helps with your current injury at least.

cali and crumble We might still be due date buddies - there is quite a high chance that I will be having an ELCS (certainly if DH has his way), so that would happen before Christmas, I reckon.

Vik Sorry, I don't have any advice for PGP/SPD, but your plan getting a private physio sounds good, especially if you were unhappy with what you had last time. I am a big advocate of Pilates, however, in order to get any benefits from it, it will take quite a while. But a good teacher should be able to at least give you some helpful exercises. Good luck!

I 'came out' at work yesterday (no way could I have waited until the 20-week scan, it's too obvious). Everyone is lovely and full of congratulations, but I am secretly freaking out that I have jinxed it now Am I crazy to say I want another scan already?! The last one wasn't even 2 weeks ago... I've had lots of niggly aches and pains recently, nothing anywhere bad and almost 99% due to growing/stretching, but I just want to know that everything is alright in there.
Anxiety is not helped by the fact that one of the lovely ladies on my Pregnancy After MC thread has just lost her DS at 27 weeks
Ugh. 3 weeks until the 20-week scan, it can't come soon enough.

Oh Cloud - 27 weeks - that just doesn't bear thinking about - how awful (understatement) for her and her family.

That's awfull poor lady and her family. I don't think you ever stop worrying... You seem to get to certain points and then worry about something else ... I think I stopped worrying when my DD was at last in my arms .

Hey, cloud - are you anywhere near a place that does private scans? They can be a bit pricey (I think about £100) but if you can promise yourself one between now and 20 weeks it might make the wait a bit more bearable and give you something to look forward to.

I know what you mean about feeling like you've "jinxed" things. I booked my DH, BF and myself in for a mamas and papas new parents event in mid august and immediately thought "Hubris! Chicken counting! Fool!"

Thankfully I've just had my 9wk scan today at the fertility clinic and it went great. I'm now discharged! I'm officially "just" a pregnant woman and not an infertility patient. Five more weeks of medications but then I'm all done and on my own!

warrior Congrats on becoming just a normal pregnant lady, that's a big milestone!

I've already had a private scan, not even 2 weeks ago I can't really justify another one before my 20-week one, which is 'only' 3 weeks away... As much as I would like to! Think I will just have to sit this out.