40+ and pregnant? Come and join the fun!

[cloudjumper]

I am 43 and currently pg with DC2, due early January. I thought it would be nice to have a thread for the pregnant ladies of 'older vintage', similar to the 40+ ttc thread, for advice, support and the occasional moan.

Thanks eagleray

Dreams are mental aren't they? Hopefully I will just get a peaceful night tonight! Scan tomorrow... It's not the scan that worries me anyway, it's the results of course.

Anyway, yes good I'm bloated as anything today - have been fine til this afternoon, but now am most uncomfy - nearly home time!

Yes it bugs me too that shops that do sell maternity wear only have it online. What's the point - if there was ever a time on your life when you need to try something on, this is it!! Also shocked at the terrible range of stuff. Especially maternity bras, god they're like something my nan would have worn... I really thought that since last time (16 years) they would have got it that you don't want to look awful just because you are pg! Any recommendations of decent ones gratefully accepted! :)

ARGH.

I have checked my gmail about, hmmmm, 20 times today. No, that is a lie, it's more like every five minutes I hit refresh and my heart races, I feel sick, then my heart sinks as I see the email is only spam.

waiting for harmony results sucks.

I had the test last Tuesday and they said it was a 5 working day waiting time. drums fingers impatiently

How is everyone else feeling today?

#tmi I gave in again to the lactulose, and did a spectacular poo this morning- my wee barely-there-in-the-first-place bump has completely vanished

How are first tri people getting on at keeping things a secret?

We have told close family and friends, and I have told my senior partner, but nobody else.

I have my sister's hen weekend starting on Friday. I've realised I'm going to have to come clean to people as to why I'm not drinking- I don't think I can do the 'dental antibiotics' lie, because they all know me too well, and they know I'd take an abscess on the chin and postpone the antibiotics until post-hen. Hopefully I can let them into the secret and still keep it a secret for a few more weeks. (am currently 11+5, my "twelve week" scan is next weds.)

Thanks for the clothing tips. Just looking at bump bands as they look quite handy

Asos seem to have some nice bras as I was skimming through but I have no idea what size I need now as I am still squeezing in to my normal ones. I am going shopping with DD next week (special mum and DD time) so hoping to maybe find some bits, but not overly hopeful given the small selection in shops. I might buy a couple of bras and then once I have an idea of size risk some online ordering.

I thought my nausea was getting better but having a dreadful time right now. Just roasted a chicken and it smells like the worst thing in the world to me. I don't think I have actually felt this horrible so far!

Good luck tomorrow Mooncalf! I will be thinking of you and keeping everything crossed

We've not told anyone yet. I'm 9 weeks today and the 12 week scan is exactly on 12 weeks - 3 weeks today. I'm that convinced that there's going to be nothing there that I wouldn't dare to tell anybody.

I've switched to decaff tea and put that down to trying to stop headaches, I've got a bit of a bump but that could be due to eating more and I had a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction in 2006 so my boobs haven't changed at all.

I'm away for an event in two weeks for work and the middle night is notoriously boozy, so I'm going to say I'm on antibiotics and tried to drink the weekend before which was a disaster, so I won't be doing that again.

Citymole the wait must be horrible for you! Hope the result comes through soon!

mooncalf good luck tomorrow- everything crossed for you!

Sezramum thanks for the asos tip! just had a look on there, and there is LOADS compared to other sites I've been browsing.

Nicky333 you must be absolutely bursting to tell! I really hope that all goes well for you at your 12 week scan and you get to share the secret- I hope the next 3 weeks fly by for you.

Bras... Here's what I remember...

I will only do underwired but the M&S staff did cat's bum face at me when I went in there and mentioned I was pregnant and wanted underwired (ditto Debenhams)

Bravissimo WILL fit underwired if you are pregnant and I really, really recommend visiting a store if you have one nearby.

I really panicked about getting nursing bras in time for the birth but it was a waste of time really as my boobs did most of their growing after DD popped out.

I bought this wire-free horror as a back-up just before having DD and it was actually really useful as it was comfy and it allowed for quite a bit of boob growth. I've just taken a look at what else JL stocks and the Heidi Klum ones look nice while the Royce ones are beyond awful.

And then for the first year after having DD, I mostly lived in a pair of Anita underwired bras. They look like normal plain bras apart from the clippy things on the straps. They are a bit pricy but I really recommend trying on in a shop if you can find them stocked somewhere as a) the sizing is a bit confusing due to being US (I think) and b) there was a slight size variation between colours (I think the black one comes up a little tighter!)

Bras... Here's what I remember...

I will only do underwired but the M&S staff did cat's bum face at me when I went in there and mentioned I was pregnant and wanted underwired (ditto Debenhams)

Bravissimo WILL fit underwired if you are pregnant and I really, really recommend visiting a store if you have one nearby.

I really panicked about getting nursing bras in time for the birth but it was a waste of time really as my boobs did most of their growing after DD popped out.

I bought this wire-free horror as a back-up just before having DD and it was actually really useful as it was comfy and it allowed for quite a bit of boob growth. I've just taken a look at what else JL stocks and the Heidi Klum ones look nice while the Royce ones are beyond awful.

And then for the first year after having DD, I mostly lived in a pair of Anita underwired bras. They look like normal plain bras apart from the clippy things on the straps. They are a bit pricy but I really recommend trying on in a shop if you can find them stocked somewhere as a) the sizing is a bit confusing due to being US (I think) and b) there was a slight size variation between colours (I think the black one comes up a little tighter!)

Thanks for the good luck wishes - be glad when tomorrow is over...

Just found out that I have been prescribed extra iron due to anemia (and age apparently) but no one told me - it just turned up on my list of repeatable prescriptions on the online patient thingy... That is not going to help my bloat!! :S tried again with the lactulose, but not the same result as you citymole - just lots of smell and not much action! Will give the linseed a try - it does work, but its pretty grim to drink :( better if its warm with lemon juice in...

I am going to take the bras I got back. They are not wired (and I usually do have wired) but actually that bit of it is surprisingly comfy. Will just try to see what what is around I think - saw some nice ones on asos, thanks for the tip sezra

I hope you get your results tomorrow citymole - how nerve wracking! Good luck x

No problem mooncalf do let me know how you get on if you do order some. I am normally a 'knickers and bras must match' kinda girl but I am expecting this to go out of the window for a few months now . I would however like to find some nice bras. I remember my previous ones (10 years ago now!!) being non under wired and not the nicest looking things in the world!

I actually can't believe it is 10 years since I was last expecting!

I am hoping to hear positive news from you both tomorrow mooncalf and Citymole

Citymole the wait is awful but I totally believe no news is good news for these tests. Believe me, they are on the phone straight away if there's a problem so I'm sure all is fine.
I had my 2nd growth scan today at 28 weeks & there was a lot of oohing & aahing about how much the baby was moving. Apparently there is too much fluid around it which I panicked about & asked what it meant but all the sonographer would say is she would refer me to a consultant.
Fortunately, I am already under consultant care & had a follow up straight after scan. Basically the baby wees & then drinks the wee (who knew!?) & this baby is producing more wee than it can swallow. There doesn't appear to be any sign of a problem with the throat & I have no sign of infection, which could also cause it, so it is likely just 'normal' for this baby but slightly outside normal for most babies. They will scan again in 4 weeks & if it is worse we will discuss birth options. I may have to go in at 38 weeks & just wait for labour. The main risk is that the umbilical cord slides down first & the baby's head squashes it.
All this is unlikely though & I have been told there is nothing to worry about at the moment.
I. Am. Calm.

Got the harmony results late last night! I forwarded the email to my mum so she could call me and read them over the phone, as we don't want to know the gender until after our twelve week scan next week- not sure why really, we just want to see the baby one last time in its genderless form, and then we'll open the results later that day. (I am itching to know now, but my ultra patient partner is insistent we wait, so I will support his view on this one- it's only a week (I am SO impatient)).

The important thing, the results- we are really relieved, the results were good- the lowest risk category for all of the 3 trisomies they were testing for. Very reassuring. [phew] there really needs to be a [phew] icon.

mooncalf I hope all is going well for you today.

Grizzer, how strange, I had been reading up about the wee thing this week in one of my books. Cor, isn't it amazing!?! I'm sure the important thing is that there seems to be no throat issue with your little one, so you just have a baby that is more of a wee-er than a drinker. Of course, 'normal for your baby' is not something you can really expect to say to an expectant mum and not have them worry!! Hopefully they can put your mind at rest properly in 4 weeks, or at least give you some more options. BE. CALM.

mooncalf I hope you have a lovely scan today. I'm having another scan on Tuesday at 15+4 wks because they couldn't get measurements at the 12wk one.

Glad the wait is over citymole!

Great news about the Harmony test results city!

moon Fingers crossed for your scan.
I take a tbsp of linseeds with my cereal every day, they actually taste really nice and nutty, maybe try that! In any case, I can recommend the eating a whole kiwi thing, I have been almost regular since Sunday!

grizzer You are on their radar, and if they are not that concerned, try not to worry too much! Not much you can do right now... Fingers crossed it'll all calm down again.

Saw the haematologist this morning... But all OK. My platelet count is slightly down, but apparently that's normal when pg and normal when taking heparin. Had blood taken and while doing so, was told that I was scheduled to have the GTT - which no one ever told me about, I had no letter, no appointment, nothing. I always thought that you do the Lucozade challenge first and then the GTT, based on the results if necessary? I still don't have the results from my challenge test, and I'm going with the no news is good news approach for now. Surely they would call me if anything came up? They did last time (and it turned out that the doctor read the results wrong...).

cloudjumper I have no experience of the GTT, but it sounds like an odd thing to spring on somebody! I am a fan of the 'no news = good news' way of thinking, but obviously, as yesterday proved to me, it's not as easy in practice when you're going through the anxious wait. Good luck!

Thanks for the good luck wishes :-) Scan went well I think - amazing how much little bean has grown! Now measuring 12+4 which is slightly more than expected, but will only be a prob if I go over on that date, cos I still think its 12+2. Anyway, s/he was very quickly this time, which was brilliant. They did the nt measurement, and it was 1.8mm - the sonographer said they are happy as long as under 3.5, so that seems positive. Still, my old age will push that risk factor right up!

city that's fabulous news, you must be very relieved!! I thought the harmony test was a define result though, rather than a risk factor - is out ready now accurate than the nhs screening?

cloud the midwife advised senna today, but I think its a bit harsh - might try if desperate. Kiwi doesn't agree with me, but will def try the linseed - it's ok whole, but when you soak it into gel it tastes pretty rank...

Grizzer hope you are not worrying too much (haha stupid comment really) - as others have said, if they're not worried that's a good sign! Fingers crossed for you!

brooke nice to 'see' you! I forget you're that vital 3 and a bit weeks ahead of me! Have you got your 20week scan booked? Are you feeling any flutterings yet?

Xx

Sounds like a great scan moon. I'm delighted, there's nothing better .

Well I've become paranoid over the last hour. Quite suddenly my boobs aren't feeling achey, I'm sure they feel smaller. I keep groping myself! I'm 14+5 - what's meant to happen with them, do they just keep hurting and getting bigger throughout pregnancy or can it come and go a little. I have thrown up the last two mornings, but I'm thinking that's just become a bad habit!

I think I get like this when I have a scan looming (on Tuesday) - I want one, but the fear of something going wrong starts to get a grip. The symptoms are just so reassuring, that if one dips (especially the boobs!) I start to get a little scared.

Hope everyone is doing good.

Moon, great scan news! You must be very pleased with that.
On the harmony test, maybe some places offer a diagnostic test, but mine didn't (gcrm in glasgow). If I understand correctly how it works, they analyse the foetal blood for certain chromosome markings which, if they are there, means your child almost certainly has the trisomy. There are very few false positives, but here can be no 'negative' result because there's a chance analysis may have missed a marker, and there is therefore still a theoretical chance that a 'low risk' foetus may turn out to have ds/ Edwards. I have been told it's less than 1 in 10k, and those odds work for me in terms of reassurance. Just [waah]. We may be a bit behind the times up here though, so who knows if the test is more sophisticated elsewhere!

Oh brookeberry, it's such a worry. I think symptoms can wax and wane throughout the second tri. I have no personal experience to share (ftm) but I know anecdotally that you are supposed to start feeling a bit "better" around 14 weeks, as the placenta takes over a lot of the grotty work. Roll on Tuesday, and some reassurance!

brooke sorry to hear you're feeling so worried :( it's awful isn't it, you can be totally happy one minute, and then sure something is wrong literally one minute later...

My boobs hurt less today, and although they have been pulling this on and off for weeks, I still worry. I looked up second trimester symptoms, and write a few places said that among the things that do fade, sore boobs is one of them. Midwife said that sometimes your body just responds to the symptoms in different ways too - so they sort of take turns in being the main one. Anyway, with me, they'll have a few days off and then be worse for a few days...

Try not to worry too much, but sending you hugged and wishing you well for Tuesday! X

citymole thanks for the info, that makes sense really. I don't know heaps about it really, I had just heard of it as an alternative to amnio or cvs, so assumed they were similar in result. But, 1 in a 1000 sounds like a pretty good result to me - though yes, I get that I'd hard to be 100% reassured when you can't get a 100% definite result. I don't think you even really stop worrying really, it just goes back to normal background levels...

On a different note, Sainsbury's have some excellent yoga pants with a fold over top - nice fabric and very comfy - for a tenner. Not for work maybe, but great for home and/or slouching purposes!

Mooncalf - I've had gloopy soaked linseed the last couple of days but I stir it into a yoghurt to disguise the texture. That's great that your scan went well, and your NT measurement sounds very good too.

I had found that a dose of linseed and upping water intake wasn't having any effect and by this morning I was in quite a lot of pain, having not been able to go properly for days. Bought some lactulose at the pharmacy this morning then staggered home and had to run to the loo (hadn't even had time to take the lactulose). Was in so much pain I nearly threw up but all of a sudden several days' worth of not going caught up with me I never ever want to go through that again - just glad I was working from home today too...

Cloud not heard of kiwi fruit having that benefit before - am willing to try anything though. I have a passion fruit to eat tomorrow - wonder if that will bring similar benefits?

Brooke I totally understand the fear, as I get it myself every few days. My nausea has diminished a lot, which makes me paranoid as had it for an extra couple of weeks last time. You will be fine - it's good that you've got another scan soon to reassure you.

City that's such great news about the Harmony results! I've started getting the fear about mine, which are looming in next few days. Finding it more stressful than the NHS tests last time around as they were a vaguer risk factor, whereas these ones are a bit more black and white (albeit still just a risk factor)

Spoke to my mother on the phone today, and was really hard not dropping the pregnancy into conversation as it's so much part of my life. But really want to get to the 20 week mark at least before I let family know. A really naughty part of me would keep it secret until the baby is here...

I can't offer my help on the symptoms front as I didn't ever have any (not even sore boobs) and I'm 20+2 now but I like the theory that the placenta kicks in and starts doing its work.

Had my 20 week scan today - all fine and we have a long legged boy! DS is delighted to be getting a baby brother. I totally knew it was a boy as this pregnancy has been a carbon copy of my DS. Great on a practical level as I've kept all his clothes!

Great news Mooncalf on your scan and I am very pleased Citymole that your Harmony results were came back as the lowest risk possible.

Poor you Grizzer there always seems to be something to worry about with pregnancy doesn't there! Like the others have said though, try not to worry especially if they are not worried and keeping an eye on things.

Congratulations on your scan today mrslebon

My midwife also said that symptoms drop off as the placenta takes over so please don't worry Brooke, I am sure everything will be fine.

I am 14 weeks today, have less nausea but no change to boobs! I just wish I could keep them permanently as I am normally flat chested!

Am I the only one who feels quite puffed out a lot, even at this earlier stage? I did read that this can happen as you are having to get more oxygen to pump the extra blood around your body but I don't remember being this out of breath in my previous pregnancies! Maybe I just forget these things

Harmony results in - all clear!

I posted before about the poor handling of test results in last pregnancy and had told the hosp that I work in a busy open plan office and would need a few seconds to find somewhere private to go.

Had ended up getting very worried about results and then phone rings today. Tried to say to woman I needed to get out of my office first but she just carried in talking and I ended up bursting into tears and running across the office.

Am mortified as its a male-dominated env and I've only been there a few weeks. Then I sat in the office foyer and sobbed some more as the woman kept talking and men in suits just stared.

Then I had to compose myself and go into a meeting. Afterwards I ate a huge bag of Haribo for no good reason and am now sat in my car waiting for the effects to wear off (couldn't sit upright) then I will go back to my desk

Fab news Eagle but rubbish consideration from the person who rang!!

No such luck for me - after a positive scan outcome yesterday, the midwife rang today to tell me that my risk factor for downs is 1 in 4.

I know, there's still more chance of it not being, but I can't pretend its not bloody scary.

Unable to get through to the clinic to book harmony test, and unable to get through to ARC to get more details.

Son home from school soon, so must try to calm down and pretend all is normal!