40+ and pregnant? Come and join the fun!

[cloudjumper]

I am 43 and currently pg with DC2, due early January. I thought it would be nice to have a thread for the pregnant ladies of 'older vintage', similar to the 40+ ttc thread, for advice, support and the occasional moan.

Bottle they would be able to give you a scan to check the embryo. They might also take blood to check hcg levels, though they would probably need to take more a few days later to see if it's increasing. Have you had any more blood?

Great news Brooke. I've just got home from work & had a nervous moment as I logged on. DO NOT leave us hanging again .
Sorry to hear your news Bottle. Get it checked but hold on to the thought it might be nothing. I started bleeding at 6 weeks & remember coming down the stairs & telling dh it was ending (again!) bled on & off until week 14 due to low placenta. There are so many reasons for early bleeding. Do you have an early scan booked?
Hope you're feeling better Cloud. Get some rest!
Final of bake off tonight. Strangely excited......

Thanks Grizzer Been telling those close to us today and that's been lovely. Hope you enjoyed the final! We ate cake (not home-made!) as we watched - it would have felt wrong not to!

Bottle hope you are feeling okay.

Hi all. Brooke how great to be telling friends!

My bleeding has persisted, I'd be shocked if it were viable at this point. Although, it remains slow and small enough to not require a pad - I just see it when I go to the loo. I'm going to phone Queen Charlotte at 9 and see if I can get in for a scan today. I'm fine, really. Thanks everyone for your support.

Sorry to hear that Bottle, I hope you can get a scan asap.

Hi all, hope you're all having a good Thursday!
Bottlecap, I hope you've managed to get a scan booked, and are feeling ok still.

I've just been for the original scan I had booked with the special multiple miscarriage clinic (I had the emergency one on Monday, which was very positive, but this one was booked already, and is with a different health authority, so I thought I'd go). Anyway, the heartbeat was there, it had grown the right amount, but it was barely morning. Apparently this is probably fine, but warrants a second scan on Monday to make sure, as it is elected to be moving a lot more at this stage.

I know its daft to be worried over what is probably nothing, and there is lots out there saying its normal, but I can't help being deflated, you know? I kind of wish I hadn't gone now, and was happily thinking about our busy jellybean of Monday!

X

Have you had a scan Brooke? How are things today?

Sorry Mooncalf, I think we posted at the same time - I wasn't ignoring your post. I've never heard of early movement being a thing. How do they know little moon hadn't been dancing the night away & was having a rest? Impossible I know, but try not to worry about it until it is confirmed there is something to worry about.

Hi moon the little one was probably having a rest! They don't jump about all the time. I haven't heard of this one before - I think they are being over-protective of you which is no bad thing. I know you will worry over the weekend, but I think the heartbeat and size says it all. I'm sure you will have a lovely scan on Monday.

Hi All. I wound up not getting a scan yesterday because it became very obvious to me that I was definitely having a miscarriage. I'm absolutely fine, I was weepy the day it happened but we all know the risks.

You could all console me with stories of how quickly you got pregnant after a miscarriage..... ?

thanks everyone for your support. I'll hang out here for a while if you don't mind!

Bottle I'm so very sorry, it's what we all dread. Please take care of yourself

Brooke did you manage to get your nuchal scan rearranged?

Moon baby was probably just having a nap as others have said, try not to worry.

I hope everyone else is doing ok.

I just found out that I'll have a scan before they take blood for the Harmony test on Tuesday. It makes sense to ensure the pregnancy is ongoing first but I was surprised as they didn't mention it when I booked and it doesn't mention it on their website info. So I'm both nervous and excited, especially since I'll be going on my own as I booked an evening appointment so dh could look after ds.

Hi Bottle,

It is good to hear from you but I really am sorry to hear your sad news.

It took me around 7 months to conceive but to be honest I wasn't even sure if I was ovulating half the time! I think how quickly people conceive again can vary so much. Give yourself a bit of time. I found that even when I thought I was ok after the MC, I would still have unexpected sad moments.

For me it happened when I had actually started to think about when we would draw the line with ttc. That often seems to be the way though!

Sending virtual hugs your way and do look after yourself.

Hi all

Bottlecap - sorry to hear your news, but glad you seem on top of it for now - the sadness came in waves for me, and dropping hormone levels definitely made it worse. The first two times it took 2 months to conceive, this time it took 7 months, but tbh it didn't happen until the month i stopped testing for ovulation etc. Good luck and lots of love

Thanks all for your support - I thought the same but was struck by just how concerned she seemed by it. My first was still plenty of times... Anyway I spoke to her today to ask questions, and I did say all that, and asked if they was anything else. She said also baby didn't seen as developed as she would expect this time either, and is therefore wondering if it is the start of something. I wish she'd just said that in the first place - people can read body language etc and I knew there was more to it :(

Anyway, have arranged the scan now for weds when I am in anyway, rather than having two scans the same week. She was fine with it and said it would be more likely to pick it up the later it is.

Now too work on my acceptance of whatever will be will be...

Love to all x

Can I join please. I turned 40 in june and am now almost 15 weeks. Just got my nuchal results back as low risk so can finally relax a bit.

Bottlecap - I know it's too soon for you to be think this far ahead but I had a miscarriage in march at 10 weeks, started bleeding 3 days before my first scan, sac was empty. I got pregnant again 2nd cycle after m/c and no problems so far. Don't give up hope x

Hi Youre - good news on your NT results.

Bottle, so sorry to hear about your loss
After my mc, it took about 9 months, but in all honesty for the 1st 5 or 6 of those we didn't even try. So probably about 3 months, but then it'd taken me the best part of 10 years to get there, so those months flew.

So sorry to hear your news Bottle.

Youre - great news on NT.

So sorry Bottle. It's said you are very fertile after an mc & I believe there is a smaller chance of it happening again if you conceive within a few months. Get back on it as soon as you feel able, and yes, please hang around with us so we can hear your news.
Welcome Youre. Good news on nf. I'm wondering if I should start worrying about my results now! I assumed they were always going to be high because of my age but everyone else is a lot lower. I had a DNA blood test (the same as the harmony I think but without the expense!) and it was 1:103. I was ok with that...... Also had a fetal heart scan because of history & the 'scanner' said there was no sign of any heart defect normally associated with down's. Well, no point in worrying now I guess.
Thinking of you moon. I don't want to give you false hope but at dd's 12 week scan she 'definitely' had down's or Edwards syndrome & was unlikely to survive. Following cvs test she was ok but 'definitely' had a heart problem & would need instant surgery. At 39 weeks she was 'definitely' too small & also breech (she wasn't). She's now 5 & I watched her starring role in her class assembly this morning. Nothing wrong with her at all! Scans are often misleading early on.

Evening - not been able to post for ages as no bloody time!

Bottlecap so sorry to hear your news - please take time to recover but also take heart from people's experiences on here of relatively quick conceptions

Mooncalf really hope everything is ok next week - thinking of you

Brooke I was on the edge of my seat when you didn't post after the scan! So glad everything is ok.

Since I last posted I've had my booking appt with the MW, who is the same one I had for DD, which is nice. We had an initial chat about birth choices as there's an awful lot of things I would want to do different this time around. I was pleased to tell her my weight was quite a bit lower this time around compared to the start of my last pregnancy (BMI back then was 30.1 which sent me down the NHS 'fat' track). I'm a stone lighter now and really pleased with that. So imagine my horror when the phone goes at work a couple of days later and it's the hospital wanting to talk to me about my BMI and how I need to monitor my weight etc etc so I told them to fuck off as I was busy eating crisps said I was fine thank you and didn't want them to get involved. Thing is, my weight is creeping up but there's nothing I can do. I'm in a new job, I feel sick a lot of the time, I can't do any exercise as every minute of my day is occupied and right now I just want to make my life as easy as possible. And now they've kindly sent me a VERY patronising leaflet in the post on making healthy food choices when you're pregnant and there's even a photo of a pregnant woman doing the hoovering to keep fit!!! All the fucking hoovering in the world isn't going to help me right now, but if they fancy sending over a cleaner and a babysitter I will gladly go out and run 5k for them (did actually manage this before I discovered I was pregnant).

Can you tell they got to me a bit?

Also, since I last posted, we've found out it's fairly likely that DD (who is 2) has a growth disorder. Testing won't start for another few weeks, but it's like the penny has dropped and a lot of aspects of her health and development now make sense. Longer term, she'll be ok, but it's just another thing to worry (and cry!) about right now.

Ababsurdum would you believe it, I have my Harmony appt the same day as you - we really are living in parallel!

Funnily enough, when I was pg the first time around, there was someone who started posting at the last minute on our antenatal thread. She was the same age as me (41) and we were due on the same day. We were both concerned about induction etc and ended up keeping in touch offline as we drifted into the 40+ weeks phase. We went into labour at 40+8 within an hour of each other and although our babies were born a day apart they were exactly the same weight! I think the babies cut their first tooth on the same day too.

Bottle, I am so sorry you have suffered this miscarriage. I had a mmc at 11 wks and opted (a week later) to have an ERPC. It took me a long time to have a baby after that and I always said if I miscarry again I will try to sit it out without surgery. I hope we see you with fabulous news really, really soon

Notsoold, how did your scan go today?

Eagle, I hope you don't mind but I laughed through your post (you are great at storytelling and funny)....until of course the news about your daughter. I'm so sorry. What do you know about all of this? Do you want to talk about it?

Yesterday I saw the consultant midwife at the hospital to look at the 'plan' she has devised for my birth. It was nothing but a sheet of A4 detailing the risks of birthing at a midwife-led centre However, she showed me around the birthing suites and excitedly pointed out some new features of the rooms since I was there last year. It was all very positive and I kept drilling her about the women who seemed to her to have the most positive births and she attested to the power of hypnobirthing (sigh)

I'm so not good at relaxation

Ooh, and in more news: my husband felt our little boy kick for the first time just now at 24wks! I've been feeling him since week 13

Welcome Youre I am pleased your NT scan was good news.

I have NT scan on Monday at 10am! I can't wait to see the baby again but I am worried about possible outcomes. We will get our result whilst we are there as I have already had my blood done and the results are back. I am desperately hoping that I will be back on here in the afternoon with a happy post!

Hi Eagleray I don't blame you for being a bit narked about that! I am only 12 weeks and have already put on about 10lb . As far as I am concerned I will eat whatever is needed to make me feel better when I am nauseous, and unfortunately my job also means I am sat on my ever growing bum all day which doesn't help.

Sorry to hear about your daughter, do keep us up to date with how you get on with the testing.

How lovely Flottilaz My DP is desperate for things to get to that stage.

If anyone needs any healthy living/weight loss inspiration, here's the Hoover lady from the 'advice' leaflet I was given, setting feminism back 50 years in the process.

Tomorrow I will post advice from there on how you mustn't 'eat for two' when pregnant. It's a big myth, you know

In the pic above, it helpfully suggests walking part of the way to work. There's actually a section of the M4 on my route to work which is so congested, one would be quicker walking. So tomorrow I will park on the hard shoulder and do just that.

And thank you Flotillaz and Sezra re DD - it's been a bit of a shock but it could be a lot worse. It started off as a 'height' thing, but now other things are entering the picture - her lack of stamina, the cute face, her body shape, her never-growing feet and so on. Hopefully we will know more in a few weeks, then it will be daily injections until adulthood. Most of the time we don't really notice, but when I go to pick her up from nursery and see her stood next to her friends, about 10cm shorter, it's a real shock!

DSis has a son with a learning disability and he may never live independently, so things like that help keep it in perspective as DD has a condition which can be treated and it hopefully won't stop her from doing whatever she wants in life

Oh and Flotillaz that's very exciting re the baby moving! I felt DD very early, and rarely tell people about it as it was freakishly early, but by the time I was 13 weeks or so, like you, I could feel her regularly. Too early to feel anything now, but actually I have wondered a couple of times...

Things seem to have changed since I had my last child 5 years ago. They gave an actual ratio for the Nuchal results then and no one measured my bump which the midwife said they will now. You could drink a bit as well....
Has anything else changed if this isn't your first?