40+ and pregnant? Come and join the fun!

[cloudjumper]

I am 43 and currently pg with DC2, due early January. I thought it would be nice to have a thread for the pregnant ladies of 'older vintage', similar to the 40+ ttc thread, for advice, support and the occasional moan.

Good luck Cloud and GoooRooo at your appointments today. Hope all goes well!

I had a very odd weekend.

I worked from home on Friday as my pram and cot mattress were delivered and was in a very different sitting position from normal. I'd hardly felt the baby move that day, which is definitely out of character for him, so when my husband got home I called labour ward and they asked me to go into hospital to be monitored. Fortunately, they quickly reassured me that he was just having a lazy day as the heartbeat was fine and he even wriggled slightly when they were checking his position. However, then they asked if I was having a lot of pain from my contractions as the same monitor showed them as strong and regular. Since early June, my Braxton Hicks tend to be back to back for most of an evening (and I’m so used to them now that I don’t notice it unless I’m looking out for it) then sporadic but stronger the next morning and then only a few each day for the next few weeks.

I focused on it and agreed that I could feel some contractions but not painful and not unusual for me, so they kept the monitor on for another 30 minutes after which two doctors came up and told me there was a chance I was in early labour! I kept telling them that I get this every few weeks and haven't yet gone into labour but they were equally insistent that it’s a possibility. I ended up being kept in the hospital for 24 hours with two steroid injections (one in each buttock) to mature the baby’s lungs so he could breathe if born early and a patch (like a nicotine patch) with a muscle relaxant medicine to reduce the contractions as well as being on the monitor regularly (and not to mention a glamorous hospital gown and compression stockings!).

I was really shocked that what I had been feeling every few weeks since the start of June was such an alarm call for them but I think it is just the way my body does it. The good news is that it all went away as normal and they also told me the baby is head down now for the first time. Phew!

I spent Sunday packing my hospital bag so that I can take it with me any time I go in and getting the baby’s bedding, nappies and clothes washed and ready because although I never really believed that I was in labour it did make me realise that it can happen early and I felt awful about not being prepared for him.

No joy with the consultant. Have to see midwife at 36 weeks and consultant at 39 weeks at which point they might consider induction starting with a sweep which I don't want. Blood pressure fine, baby growth slightly small bit nothing to worry about, urine test fine, heartbeat fine. Text book pregnancy apart from my age and weight neither of which have caused any problems so I have to wait it out. As soon as I get to 37 weeks I'm doing everything I can to go into labour by myself!

Glad everything went ok Cineraria... How many weeks are you ? Must of been a bit frightening.
Gooorooo.... I've also decided I will do anything from Friday to encourage baby to make an appearance.... Actually Friday evening as we're off to see Michael McIntyre, I'm hoping I laugh so much that I'll go into labour .... Did have a mucus show like the plug but that can happen weeks before :(

I'm 34 weeks, Lola, so it wouldn't have been too bad probably, but still early enough to have the lung maturing steroids to help breathing.

Michael McIntyre should be a good choice. I think one of his routines was about his wife being overdue and trying to stimulate labour. Hope you have fun and laugh all the way to the labour ward (after the performance)! I'm thinking about fenugreek to encourage labour from 37 weeks. I love eating spicy fenugreek sprouts with sweet potato and haven't had any since I was pregnant as I know it's supposed to encourage contractions.

All great at the 20-week scan! No problems noticed, everyone happy (esp me!).
Also had a very good consultant appointment to discuss birth options afterwards - basically, every option is open to us! It's not 100% decided yet, but we've booked the elcs - given that it'll be Christmas/New Year, we thought better get a date now, even if we change our minds at a later stage. Happy bunny here!

Hello all This is my first post on here since deciding to join today.

I will be 43 on Friday and found out yesterday that I am 6 weeks pregnant! I have three children already, two DD aged 16 and 12 and a DS aged 9. My doctor told me this morning that he thought I was mad to want another!

I was reluctant to join the thread as the last pregnancy I had (last November) ended at 7 1/2 weeks. I am delighted and apprehensive, as I am sure many will understand. As we are keeping it all very quiet for now, it feels like quite a relief to be able to share my news . I am just hoping that I wont be quietly disappearing from the thread in the next few weeks.

I am looking forward to chatting with some 'older mums'

Hi sezramum
Glad all went well cloudjumper it's such a relief when it goes well at the twenty week scan

Great news Cloud. Are you officially relaxed now? I take it you didn't find out the sex?
Congratulations Sezra & almost happy birthday. I think most of us have had mcs (usually plural) but we are living proof it can work out. I'm sure you will feel anxious but hopefully this one will stick. I will be 43 by the time mine is born. Older & wiser I say .
Time for an over share ladies......
I had sex tonight for the first time since conception!!!!! I had some bleeds so I didn't want to. Felt a bit more confident a while ago but dh was then worried. We haven't seen each other for a week as I've been to visit my mum in Somerset & tonight we got it on!! That will probably be it until about a year after the baby is born so felt the need to share!!

Welcome sezra and congratulations! Your doctor is an idiot - lots of 40+ women have children nowadays! I think that 4 is a great number.
I'm 43, too, and will be nearly 44 when this one arrives. I think that most of us have had mcs at some point, sadly - hoping that this one will be a sticky bean for you!

grizzer Very of your dtd! We also have not had any action since BFP, and I know that DH really misses it - but I have not been able to must the energy or motivation... Problem is that once I hit my dead point in the evenings, there is nothing doing. Sigh. Might see if we can sneak some in this weekend...

Can I ask those of you who have had/will have an ELCS if you were offered steroid injections to help develop baby's lungs before the op? The consultant discussed this at great length with us yesterday - I was a bit surprised, as I thought that you only get them when you're at risk of premature labour/birth, but not for a planned cs. But apparently you do now - but it'll be up to us to decide if we want it, as there is apparently still not enough solid data to prove its benefit for certain...

Many thanks for the welcome.

I agree cloudjumper and was quite insulted! The last Doctor I saw in the autumn was lovely, but I find so many are quite condescending.

It is great to hear about everyone's scans and I can't help getting excited. I think I have been lucky to have only had one known miscarriage. I love the phrase 'sticky bean' , here's hoping!

I feel different this time though, I actually feel quite nauseous this morning (which is normal for me) and yesterday afternoon I fell asleep when I should have been working (from home thankfully!). I know it could still go wrong, but I cannot live in constant worry and want to still enjoy every moment.

I am thinking of having a planned ELCS, so will watch with interest peoples experiences.

Hi sezra & welcome, all the best of luck for this sticky bean! I've had an MMC and an MC and have a 13month old DS and currently 21w with a DD so it's all possible.

I also had an ELCS and will have another one around Christmas (hi cloud). I haven't heard about steroid injections either, I would think they'd only be necessary pre 34 weeks (or 36 at a push?)
I won't see my consultant again until 32w.

And go grizzer! I've done it a few times but wasn't majorly up for it. Last time that all changed in the third trimester, if DH is lucky!

Hi I had a midwife appointment today .... I'm just over 36 weeks and baby again is measuring at just 32 weeks ..... So hospital scan tomorrow to check growth ... I don't even mind about talking about being induced as I feel rubbish !!! Also got sugar and protein in wee, midwife said I look gaunt, pale and really not well...... OH has just agreed with midwife ... I also have a mouthful of ulcers and realy sore dry lips ... The joys of pregnancy

Hi all, I'm 42, have a DD age 6 and DS age 10, just found out at a private scan tonight that I'm almost 7 weeks with twins (OMFG it's real now I've just written it down). No fertility treatment and doesn't run in the family. I had no idea it was more common as you got older. My DH seems to have decided it's not going to be viable... And I'm in denial so many milestones to pass before it's a reality. Any advice? Anyone else experienced this? Thanks xx

Hi Sezra and Wyawc4!

Twins! Eek!

How are you Cineria. Any more signs of labour?
Poor you Lola. I bet they keep you in today! Hope you're doing ok.
Congratulations Wyawc4. Hopefully your dh is just in self protection mode & everything will be fine. When is your first appointment?

Hi GoooRooo and Wyawc4!

Congratulations on the news of twins Wyawc4! I am also a bit worried about this as we do have twins in the family and because of the 'being older' thing!

Is it common to have private scans now? I know I should be patient but I would love to not have to wait for another 5 weeks!

Midwife called today . Appointment booked for when I will be 9 1/2 weeks. Really hoping that I make it to this one!

Hope your scan goes well Lolababy00, sorry to hear you are feeling so terrible.

I had a private scan at 8 weeks this time, because I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks last year and it turned out the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks so I just wanted to put my mind at rest, which it did. I still worried before the 12 week scan though!

Hope you have a sticky one Sezra

Welcome wya - wow, twins! I secretly secretly always wanted twins... How exciting. Yes, they do get more common as you get older, something to do with your ovaries becoming more random and chucking out eggs Rest assured that at 40+ with twins, you will be monitored to death!

sezra It's entirely up to you if you want to get a private scan, but I would really advise to wait until you are 8 weeks... Too much uncertainty before that, which only adds to the anxiety. I got extra scans on the NHS due to my history of recurring miscarriages, and then I caved in and had a private one at 16 weeks because I could not face the long wait until the 20-week one! But each to their own. Because of my age, I will be getting additional scans later on as well, which is good.

lola You sound really run down, poor you! Hope all goes OK today x

Sorry to hear you're feeling rubbish lola, I hope the scan goes OK today.

Hi wya! Wow, twins!

sezra I had quite a few private scans last time (3 before 10w) mainly because the clinic was investigating my previous miscarriages. Because I was then put on heparin injections I had a few more later on as well.

This time round I had less but still wanted to have an early private scan mainly because I couldn't wait till 12 weeks. We also chose to have the Harmony test privately so my first NHS scan was at 20 weeks.

You poor thing, Lola, it sounds like you have been having a really rough time. I do hope they can do something to make you feel better before the delivery.

Congratulations on the twins Wya! How exciting. I hope the older ones will be thrilled when they find out and that your DH will be reassured when you have the 12 week scan. My DH was desperate for us to have twins (one boy and one girl) and kept telling people that's what he'd "ordered"! He was still very happy to learn it was just one boy though when we went for our scan.

Grizzer, labour itself is staying away but I'm definitely having more and stronger Braxton Hicks now. They told me to sit down and rest when I get them but I always get them when I'm sitting anyway!

We didn't have any private scans as I was far too nervous (I can hardly watch the NHS ones!) but did have some early ones when they twice thought I'd miscarried. I'd agree with cloudjumper that the early ones tell so little that they make you more worried. Eventually they told me he had probably just made a terrible mess implanting and all the clots it caused were falling out and making me bleed but he was still there and doing well. Such a relief! Now I have his character down as messy but tenacious, poor boy!

Thanks all. Think I'm now feeling a bit hysterical (laughing) from all your response! Lol. I'm numb in shock. @sezra I only had a private scan as I had a Mmc last year so wanted to check something was there. Not yet got through to NHS. Will try again! X

Thanks all.

I would like a scan after 8 weeks just to feel reassured, but I will probably end up waiting! I will be having a 12 week scan, so I guess not too long to wait. I have never been the patient type though !

I don't blame you Cloudjumper for having a private one at 16 weeks! 20 weeks is way too long to wait .

Hi everyone scan went well and baby is just above average size for over 36 weeks so that's a relief ... The scan has made me feel better and reassured me that everything is ok so can completely understand why some ladies opt for private scans through out their pregnancy . Consultant won't induce early as baby ok even if I feel unwell .. But has agreed to a sweep at 39 weeks ... May have to start drinking raspberry tea and doing other things to encourage baby to come out ... Oh and also DD has chicken pox and is really grumpy

Great news Lola after the worry that the baby was small. Could they do anything to help with all your other symptoms?

No they didn't suggest any thing ... Last time they gave me anti sickness tablets but he said lets see how you go !!! Consultant was nice but not over helpful