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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Would you take DC1 to scan?

75 replies

bittapitta · 15/06/2015 16:00

Would you take DC1 (age 2 and a half) to the 12 week scan? I have already had an early scan too, alone, so chances are things will be okay. DH will come too. No family nearby, never used a baby sitter.

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ostrichneck · 15/06/2015 16:02

Exactly same position as you, but no. It doesn't sit well with me. I don't know why but just doesn't feel right.

Number3cometome · 15/06/2015 16:09

Yes, why not?

If you can't get childcare you have no other option right?

I've taken DD with me to two later scans (18 + 28 weeks)

She is 7 and just sat quietly.

As long as DC doesn't interrupt what the sonographer is trying to do.

WonkyDonkBonk · 15/06/2015 16:12

We just did exactly this today. DD is 2.5. We took her in with us armed with a pack of chocolate buttons for bribery. Usually the 12 week scan is quite short compared to 20 week one but our went on forever. On the whole she behaved well and the sonographers didn't mind at all, they chatted to her amd explained what was happening l. DH took her outside a couple of times as she was about to kick off. I would say its fine as long as you take books and chocolate.

If you are worried about things going wrong then i think they are a bit too young to understand at that age. We said to her that we were going to see if there was a baby in my tummy and that there might not be. If it all had gone wrong DH would have taken her out.

I think its less acceptable to take them to the 20 week scan though.

I hope that is helpful.

Congratulations!

chandelierswinger · 15/06/2015 16:15

Congratulations! We didn't take DS (2.5yrs) to the 12 week scan when I was pg with #2 as we didn't feel comfortable in case anything was wrong. We took him along to the 20 week scan though, to help him feel more involved, and it was wonderful. The sonographer was happy with him being there and he was just mesmerised by the whole thing!

Original poster

bittapitta · 15/06/2015 16:16

Reasons not to: we haven't told DC1 about the pregnancy and something might still be wrong with the pregnancy - it would be hard for DH and I to process that while looking after a toddler.

But on the other hand if everything's fine it would be no problem.

A childcare option is to ask a local mum friend for a couple of hours childcare but I'd feel a bit rude asking rather than have them offer (they can't offer as they don't know about pregnancy yet!)

OP posts:

chandelierswinger · 15/06/2015 16:18

You don't have to tell them where you're going... You could say "hospital appt" or even "gynae" as most Mums wouldn't even question that. We've all been there!

Original poster

bittapitta · 15/06/2015 16:20

take books and chocolate - this might be the plan! good point that if anything is wrong then DH can take DC outside immediately. It's so different second time round isn't it!

OP posts:

CarrotPuff · 15/06/2015 16:22

Some places don't allow children for scans so I would check with your hospital.

chandelierswinger · 15/06/2015 16:22

Good point ^

Iloveonionchutney · 15/06/2015 16:24

I took my 4yr old de to my 20 week scan and it was no problem, she loved it.

Original poster

bittapitta · 15/06/2015 16:25

Thanks carrot I know my hospital does thankfully other it would have been decision made!

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MummyPiggy87 · 15/06/2015 17:35

I agree with Bitta, we didn't tell our dc1 until we knew everything was sound. The 20 weeks scan yes, but the 12 weeks scan is when they check everything's going okay. If you could get a babysitter I would tbh x

Frolicacid · 15/06/2015 17:40

Check what your hospital policy is. The one I go to has big signs everywhere telling you that children won't be admitted to the scanning room.

S2b16 · 15/06/2015 19:11

At 2.5 I very much doubt that they would understand what an ultrasound was, so if it was me, I would go armed with a magazine and a packet of sweets (top parent me ha ha) if they are still in a pushchair I'd strap them in with mag....I struggled to find childcare when pregnant with dd2 and took dd1 to every appointment as had no choice.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 15/06/2015 19:15

I've taken my 4yo to every scan barring the 12 week just because I had childcare sorted for that. The times of my scans make it tricky for childcare. Tbh I don't really like taking her in with me because she's started acting up in the room and there's only so much you can do from the bed. If she has a toy she's alright but I usually forget to take one

MoggyP · 15/06/2015 19:22

Most people are absolutely fine and the scan just tells them everything is normal.

Unfortunately, there are some people for whom the news is not good.

I really hope that's not you. But if it is, how will you be able to cope if DH has to take DC away and you essentially have to do the hardest bit alone?

If you really have nowhere else to leave a child, then yes, they have to come along. But this isn't one to choose to have them there.

iwantkhaleesiseyebrows · 15/06/2015 19:25

Absolutely no way. My first pregnancy I found out at my 20 week scan that my previous DC1 had a fatal condition (despite all looking great at 12 week scan). It was horrific and I can't imagine how much worse it would have been having a DC with me.

With my 3rd pregnancy there was no way I was taking my 3 year old DD in with me.

The chances are all will be well at your scan but having been the 1 in 3000 there is no way I would take my child in with me.

All the best for your scans.

LemonYellowSun · 15/06/2015 19:25

I never took my 4 year old at the time. Never dreamt of taking him tbh. I just saw it as medical appointment which could be problematic.

FoxSticks · 15/06/2015 19:36

I chose not to with our dd who was 2.5 months at the time. Partly because I was afraid of something being wrong and partly because I didn't want her to know so early on. Fourty weeks is a long time in a 2 year olds shoes. I didn't want her to feel anxious or excited or anything else for such a long time. Plus I didn't want the constant "when will the baby be born" question! We didn't tell her till I was 30 weeks!

FoxSticks · 15/06/2015 19:36

2.5 years!

ohidoliketobe · 15/06/2015 19:49

Foxsticks - was about to say! You work fast!

If the hospital allows it and you feel comfortable with it, I can't see the issue. Have you thought about childcare options when you're in labour?

Stoneysilence · 15/06/2015 19:50

We just brought our dd (2.5). The sonographer made a comment - apparently somewhere hidden in the mountains of bumpf you get sent, there's one line asking you not to bring other children to scans - but in the end it was grand, dd waving to new baby on screen etc. I don't get people not telling their dds...40 weeks is a long time in all our shoes

AmandaTanen · 15/06/2015 19:55

With my last pregnancy our 12 week scan was fine, but at 20 weeks we knew something was wrong. I was a screaming, crying hysterical mess, there is no way I would have wanted my other child to have seen me like that.

Runningupthathill82 · 15/06/2015 20:02

I'm in the same position and I won't be taking DS - even though this will mean DH not coming.
Tbh I think it's not at all a suitable environment for a toddler. A scan isn't there for fun, it's a serious and potentially devastating medical appointment.
I have no reason to think I'll have suffered a MMC or there might be something else wrong, but if there is bad news then DS being there would be completely inappropriate.

formerlyofLadysmith · 15/06/2015 20:13

I wouldn't, personally. The possibility of getting worrying news looms too large for me. I did take my DC age 6 and 3 to a later scan which I thought was just going to be to check placental site but ended up going on for 30 mins. Even my interested 6 year old was bored of varying shades of grey by then.

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