Another posifrickintive thread for those pregnant after miscarriage #4

[Treaclepie19]

Welcome aboard ladies - bumps big and small :)

Gosh some really difficult news on here today.
I have no other advice to add from what the ladies have already said but sending both ginger and metal big hugs.

thanks so much.

read through vinces post very heartwarming and shows the outcomes can be different to expected so that is promising. thank u.

Hugs Metal and Ginger, what a difficult day for you both. I have no experience or advice but wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you both.
Tori it would be lovely to see you on the fb page.

ginger I wouldn't push yourself to go into work tomorrow, maybe see how you feel in the morning. It's a lot to take in and if you need a bit more time before answering questions, I think that's totally fair enough. I hope you're doing ok and not too overwhelmed with trying to search for answers. I hope your midwife will be very supportive for any questions you think of

Ginger that's really tough news. I would definitely give yourself to process it before you go to work. Sending you hugs and I wish I had some more constructive advice for you xx

thank you ladies. im not good being on my own and think i will probably be better at work.

im thinking of what i can say right now and rehearsing it in my head to see if i can actually manage it.

its awful as i had an issue with a couple in my office about 6 wks ago and i cnt stick them anymore and the false concern is going to be a killer. i hate people feeling sorry for me at the best of times and it just makes me feel sorry for myself.

in my mind, for anyone that does ask i am thinking of saying its a boy and it has some disabilities. we dont know anymore than that until next week.

the thing is if i stay off tomo im not going to want to go in friday. the amnio is tuesday. i will take at least 2 days for that as it says you have to rest afterwards for 24 - 48hrs. if i an off from now until the day or 2 after the amnio ill need a fit note from dr.

i had a long time off with my mmc due to complications and found it really hard going back to work. none of my work was picked up whilst i was absent and i really struggled.

Thinking of you tomorrow ginger, I do understand the decision to go back in to take your mind off it. Hopefully you can find a form of words that encourages people to be sensitive and give you some space xx

thanks little. will see what tomorrow brings. im actually feeling a little better as the day has gone on. got my little boy inside doing some good movements which is cheering me up

Oh and yes tori, please join us on fb!! Xxx

Had my 16 week appointment, got to hear the heartbeat for the first time, can not say how relieved i am!!

Phew!

Sending big hugs to ginger and metal. Hope you manage to get some good sleep tonight and are being kind to yourselves. Thinking of you.

I had 12 week scan today and am feeling immensely relieved. Had the downs test so guess will just wait to hear. Baby was waving at us and doing somersaults and I just cried with relief!

metal and ginger, sorry to hear you are having a worrying time.

metal, I had my last baby at 41 and had awful odds for Trisomy 13 and 18. It was a worrying time. I had to wait 3 weeks for an amnio and in that time got myself into quite a lather. However, I was sent to a metal/maternal professor and she was really good. She did a very thorough scan before the amnio, and told us that the scan was so good that she didn't think it was worth going through the amnio. My little boy is perfect.

My odds were skewed by my age, but also a very high Papp-A level. Noone could tell my why my Papp-A was high or what it meant, they mentioned something about possible pre labour, but he was born the day after his due date.

I hope you both can get some answers soon so that you can enjoy your pregnancy.

The worries never seem to stop.

Topsy and Fizzie - great news about heartbeat and scan.

That should say "fetal" not "metal"

Oh dear, I got that quite wrong after having a look back over my prenatal notes: it was a very low Papp-a that was a problem.

metal our Down's test (the one where they measure the fluid in the baby's head and bloods) can back as 1:80. I was hysterical when they called me and told me, so I understand why you are so worried, but the odds are still very highly in your favour for everything being ok.

We were told on the Friday by phone. All the midwife said was 'high risk' and didn't give an actual number. We went to see the specialist midwife on the Monday and she gave us the figure of 1:80, which we worked out as something like a 98% chance that things would be ok. This made me feel a bit more positive.

I'd been on this board over the weekend and found out about the Harmony test and decided to go for it. It's 99% accurate for Down's results. It came back as a 1/10,000 chance i.e. 0.01%. We wouldn't have aborted for Down's, but I felt like I needed to be prepared if there was a strong chance of a Down's baby. The hospital arranged the test, but we had to pay £500.

All the best and I hope you get the same outcome we did

ginger - so sorry to hear what you are going through. The Harmony Test tests for trisomies 13 and 18 as well as Down's, so maybe something to consider if you are worried about the amnio. Thinking of you and hope that everything works out as best it can

Ginger I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time. It must make it even worse when you don't know exactly what the problem is and are left to wonder and worry. Here's wishing you the best of luck

Topsy and Fizzie I'm really glad your scans went well.

Isn't it frightening the way all these investigations can turn out? It can make everything perfect or the darkest day ever. I've refused all early scans at the EPU this time as they make me so anxious and had bad experiences there with some of my miscarriages in the past, just trying to hold out till 12 weeks this time.

Ps how do I make someone's name bold? Can't remember

Zeux just put an * on either side of the name.

Thanks all. I know I have to try and be more positive and remember that there is a nearly 99% chance that baby will be fine, but at the moment all my mind seems to be able to focus on is "high risk" and that stupidly high hcg level. I'd so been hoping that I could relax a bit after the scan, and now I've got another agonising wait ahead of me until we get the Harmony results... I just don't know how much more I can take!

ginger I hope you're feeling ok today and work proves to be a good distraction.

Congrats on your scan and appointment fizzie and topsy.

Hugs for metal and ginger, sorry to hear you're having a worrying time.

Congratulations on the good scan news topsy and fizzie

Been bleeding all night again. Waiting for a call back from the midwife and wishing I could just have one week where everything goes smoothly. So tired of this now

Imnot sorry to hear about the bleeding I hope that midwife comes back to you soon. I'm struggling with the return of first semester symptoms but combined with the heaviness and backache... Feeling very sick again and painful boobs etc. Struggling slightly on the commute into the City, a sip of water almost had me throwing up on the tube this morning, these next five weeks at work might feel extremely long...

thank you. i think the thing with the harmony test is a) we cant afford it and b) it doesnt rule things out as such just gives a risk factor. if it came back high risk we would still need the amnio to know for certain.

i dont want the amnio but feel like i have no choice unless something else comes to light on tuesday when they re-scan me. i wonder if they are looking at my notes etc now and thinking what it could be?

Thanks little and sorry to hear you're feeling so lousy. Midwife has fitted me in to have a listen at 12:30. Fingers crossed.

Ginger thinking of you today, hope you're getting plenty of support