We're posifrickintive! Another posifrickintivity thread for pregnancy after miscarriage #3

[Treaclepie19]

Another thread for the lovely ladies who are pregnant after miscarriage :)

Hi ladies, I popped in ages ago but haven't been active as I've been trying to focus on things other than pregnancy to stop me going mad.

However, the worry is back big time at the moment. I'm 16w4d according to my dating scan and at the last scan everything was fine, however I don't feel pregnant, I don't really have a bump I'm just 'chunkier' round the middle and I'm not really getting many pains or anything. I feel fine, that first trimester hell is long gone but at least that 'feel like death' feeling reassured me that something was going on.

I have my second MW appointment tomorrow which is good timing but I'm hoping someone can reassure me that this is normal?!

This is my first baby, I had a MC in December so didn't have much time to get my head around it all before I was pregnant again.

Hi Mel from my experience I would really try not to worry too much (easier said than done) but week 14 - 22 was a really weird period where there's not much going on symptons wise- no tiredness, no nausea, no bump, no kicks yet. I know loads of women love that period, where they feel like themselves again. I didn't enjoy it as I worried like you are about not feeling pregnant, but I suppose that's the pregnant after mc factor. My mw picked up the heartbeat at 16 weeks which helped & I was allowed pop into them whenever I want to hear the heartbeat (I limited that to every 2 weeks, but honestly could have moved into the mw office to hear the hb all the time).

My mum always says the 3 stages of pregnancy are 'Teary, Cheery & Weary' I can't say I ever felt the cheery part.
(Oh & the an threads are full of people feeling movement by week 16- try to ignore that)

Welcome cloudy & diddly good luck with everything!

treacle your inlaws sound mean. Ignore the bump comments, plus I echo how great boys clothes are compared to girls (& I'm having a girl). Girls are mostly pinks & flowers while boys get rockets & spaceships, sailing themes, dinosaurs etc. I think my dad will be dressed mostly in boys clothes as I found them harder to resist.

Happy Monday everyone!

Definitely normal mel, it worries me how normal I feel (most of the time).
I had a scan at 17+2 for reassurance and as a gender scan and all was well.
The worry has crept up again though so definitely know how you're feeling.

We've found lots of lovely boys clothes :) I'm annoyed at myself for being annoyed with MIL. Also I actually caught myself thinking "I hope SIL is having a boy" just so we don't have to carry on this pathetic-ness.
Considering MIL never thought she would get to see her grandchildren (she has terminal cancer) I expected her to be more excited whatever their gender.

Treacle send your in laws to me, give me one hour with them in baby boutiques of North London and they will be conned instantly into buying as many delicious little boys clothes as my best friend and I were this weekend! My baby doesn't NEED handmade white booties or embroidered PJs but that's really not the point... They (and their wallets) will be sorry!

On a serious note though I also get upset at almost everything. If someone says I look big I get sensitive if someone says I look small I panic about growth and my weight gain - it's amazing how upsetting the smallest thing can be. A woman at work said she was glad I was showing at last because she thought it was a 'phantom pregnancy' which after a late MMC is basically the last thing you want to hear

Thanks so much all of you, I feel a bit better now! Hopefully the MW will listen for a heartbeat tomorrow.

I just feel bloated and chubby today!

I am 25 weeks today and sometimes I don't feel like I have a bump. Some days I feel like I have a massive bumpy bump.... At 16 weeks I just felt decidedly chubby!

MW measured my fundal height today and I measuring perfect. But baby is a wriggly pain in the arse and kept moving away from the doppler. The MW student had hell of a job following the hb around my belly

Welcome mrsdiddlydoo. May your stay be long and uneventful.

I have been told that my bump is both big and small. I just ignore people tbh. I think it's looking quite big at the mo, but I'm only short so I guess once it runs out of height it has nowhere to go but outwards.

Just got back from a mum-to-be massage which was a teat from DP. Lovely

treat not teat lol

Small Bear your DH giving you a teat made me chuckle :)

I agree with the others Mel and certainly felt around 16 weeks the most defeatist as I just felt fat and had no symptoms, I like treacle had a reassurance scan which helped but even then have bought a doppler to use at home when I get worried.

treacle I had a very similar experience this weekend where out with pil's and bil who is getting married next year. Mil kept saying how much she would never want a girl hoped it was a boy (we don't know) and bil who kept discussing how they were going to have kids as soon as married - which considering we have struggled for 5 years to get to this point is hugely insensitive to make it sound so simple. I ended up spending all day Sunday worrying what if I had a girl and they have a boy would my pil's not love ours as much - on reflection a lot of people just have no awareness of others feelings and are hugely inappropriate.

Cava thats exactly how I feel. At one point I actually said to MIL "we'll just go then because you don't need us if they gave a girl".
So insensitive.
Sorry you're having to go through it too :(

*have

My Step-sister had her baby this morning, a little boy. I got through my MC due date last week without much trouble.... but rather selfishly this has shook me up. I feel like such a cow but I feel like crying

Don't feel guilty happy, it's perfectly normal to feel how you do.
Sending hugs.

I am having such a bad day today and it's not even 10am !! I'm now 9+1 which is pretty much when my mmc occurred last year, and my symptoms feel like they are teetering off again. The last three days I've only felt a tad nauseas instead of actually vomiting and this is what happened last time. And I've got my booking in appointment today and I just feel like I don't want to do it because in three weeks time at my scan it will all go tits up

Sorry for chiming in with misery !!

Thanks Treacle I will put my big girl pants on soon. She had 2 MCs and is an older mum and she had a trouble free labour and birth on just gas and air, so she is a hope to all of us. I just feel a bit side lined by the sadness I feel.

Rebecca you are at SUCH a worrying time and we have all been there. At 9-10 weeks I would have days where i didn't have too many symptoms and days when they were horrific. It is totally normal and try not to read into it. I started eating more than toast and crisps at 9 weeks and remember totally panicking. Hopefully your MW can give you some reassurance. Make sure you tell her about your anxiety.

Remember... today you are pregnant and the odds really are in your favour

I'm hoping for a horrific day of symptoms pretty soon. I'll explain everything to my mw, but if I remember her correctly from last time she wasn't the softest of people. I'm toying with the idea of ringing epu for another scan, the mw there gave me her direct line incase I had any problems.
Just wish pregnancy after miscarriage wasn't so hard :/ if it wasn't for peering on on what you ladies have to say then i would feel so alone in this. Today I need a duvet day and to not have to go to work !

I told my friend that I was upset and she misunderstood and thought I was holding the fact that my step sister had a baby against her.... when actually in my emotions her having the baby has just triggered something that I maybe didn't deal with last week if that makes sense.

I need to buy her a gift.... what do you buy the parents with everything!?

Rebecca Thinking of you, I wish I could offer more reassurance xxxx

I think unless you've been in the situation, you can't understand.
Ignore your friend and talk to us. We get it!

Thinking of you Rebecca, i had barely any symptoms then too. Had a reassurance scan at 9+5 and all was well and then felt even worse symptom wise. It was about 11 weeks when my symptoms really ramped up.