The best shit place to be grads - Early pregnancy after miscarriage - hopes and fears

[Gr33dyeggs]

So heres a thread. Hope you all find it!

Congrats we've made it this far

My worry at 5 weeks is I just feel apathetic and numb. Not excited, not looking forward. Not even fear. Just.... nothing. Constant knicker watch.

Plus wondering whether to push for an early scan and if so when? Losses were 9 and 11 weeks.

I haven't even looked at the Nov 2015 thread. Maybe if everything looks OK at my scan.

guy those are wise words you posted below. Im going to try and remember them. I worry about everything, whether I feel sick, I don't feel sick, why am I not tired today, etc etc etc.
I get those pains when I sneeze too Amyy - frightened me the first time.

barbie twins wow!! You'll find loads of support here, we are all feeling the same worries and fears, think it's natural after an MC.

I'm envious of those on the November thread and their carefree happiness. I'm not sure I'll join one of those threads this time, I didn't feel last time that I gelled as well as I did on the ttc buses. Strange I know. Probably just me!

I really disliked the match ttc bus.

there I said it

congrats barbie really glad you found us they are a lovely bunch of ladies to help you through this worry!

I am not keen on joining other threads other than mc ones. Ttc after mc and this thread have been my lifeline and what an amazing group of women! I have been on other threads that have been very catty and arrogant (only some MNs i must say not everyone in the thread) which shocked me as i thought we were all there to support one another!

I have been watching but not commenting on the other pg after mc thread and they seem like a lovely bunch but theres all stages of pg in there and right now im not even sure if i will reach 12 weeks so doesnt feel right joining them yet!

Office lady I am so sorry for your loss I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling but send love and wishes your way

Sashakerr what is this nov 2015 thing? I was probably a bit naive previously and didn't know how high the chances of a miscarriage were/are once I had been told it was nota "viable" pregnancy (I absolutely hate that term it seems so insensitive and as though it is just an object) I informed the parents of the children I lookafter (I'm a childminder) 3 out of the 8 families I currently care for said they had also had a miscarriage

Gennibugs THANKYOU :-) I have never used a forum before and was quite nervous about posting thanks for your kindness :-) I know we can't believe it but trying not to get my hopes up too much. Roll
On two weeks x

Ooh why chasing?
I was in the due in June 2014 one and found it really annoying because they were all in a constant state of anxiety about miscarriage. I was naïve then and thought that as a healthy 29 year old who had a previous normal pregnancy and a healthy lifestyle that there was no chance of mc. I found their paranoia and apparent desperation to make everyone else just as paranoid really annoying.
God. I was a total fucking idiot. Overconfident and judgemental. I deserved to mc.

Guy brush I was the same as you- I think it's natural to feel that way...until it happens it's just human nature but you did not deserve to mc no one does :-) x

Oh no chasing I was on there! How come you didn't like it? I must say though the earlier buses I was on were the best. I'm still in touch with some of the ladies who were on there and they are fabby. The newer buses weren't quite the same.
Ps - are you off on holiday this week?

Oh and guy you did not deserve it. I think until it happens - you know it can happen but just kind of think it won't happen to you.

Ps. I might just stay with you lovely ladies on here unless you go off and leave me

I meant June 2015! Silly me.

Guy you absoloutly did not deserve to mc
! You stop that thought train right now

Barbie.. twins! Ahhhhhhhhh congratulations!

Ahh I just found some of them (not all by any means) really know it all-y and no matter how hard I tried to immerse myself into the thread I just couldn't the way I felt it flowed effortlessly with the ttc after mc and this thread. These two threads are my lifelines and I check them before anything else. . I love you guys! [Grin!]

I can't quite imagine joining a Nov thread yet either. .not least because November feels like fucking forever away.

Leaving tomo for hols. It's a 4 hr drive and I'm dreading tackling the sickness. Bleurghhh.

officelady so sorry to hear that

barbie welcome! TWINS!

chasing have an great time!

I've been snowed under at work so have missed loads. Sorry to anyone I should also have said something particular to!

I'm 5 weeks today and last time on this day I'd spent the morning at the epu after spotting the day before and was preparing for mc as hcg and progesterone were both super low and I only had a faint line on a pg test. Not that it means anything but I've done a frer that is darker than the control line and the digi is still holding steady at 2-3 weeks. I would say I am now feeling better about it all but I did run to the loo like a mad person earlier as I was certain I felt bleeding.

Last time I called my gp for a general appointment at 4.5 weeks and got the impression that they thought I was silly to call so early. I was just going off the nhs advice. Would you recommend waiting a bit more? I may go to the epu in a couple of weeks as chasing suggested if all still seems ok. I don't want to go too far thinking all is well if it's not.

I think I have been very lucky with this thread and the ttc after mc one - maybe it's just that there are fewer people so it's easier to get to know everyone, but it's always been so much easier to follow and seems friendlier than the March bus, which was the only one I have experience of. I do also love that tcc after mc is probably one of the few places where when someone new arrives we say 'so sorry to see you here'!

Hope you've all got good weekends ahead.

Guy of course you didn't deserve to mc for any reason whatsoever. No-one deserves to. It is just random and horrible. I will confess to a much worse thought - when I was in EPAU the two women in front of me came out smiling and I thought, oh god that's reduced my odds of a good result. I mean how selfish can you get, not to mention completely ridiculous. If it had been a bad result I still wouldn't have deserved it though.

Genni that is great news, I am so pleased. I know how hard it is, I am still having some residual bleeding but it has lessened to a pale brown now. Doesn't stop the worry though.

Officelady I am so sorry to hear that you are having another mc. It's so unfair. I wish you all the best for the future.

I have read the Nov 15 thread a few times but I am not ready to join. I am still in touch with the Nov 12 ante/postnatal group from when I had DS, they are a nice bunch.

I think the '50 Shades effect' was partly a publicity ruse but Nov does fall 9 months after Valentine's so it's a popular month I think. In fact if this pregnancy works out then I will have two Valentine's babies!

Look at the time and I'm wide awake again !!!,I think I need to start writing in my diary again get all the thoughts out. I need to sleep because I have work all weekend. That stich in my side is back again and I'm worried that I don't have symptoms yet,but I don't think I should have any yet but I'm just worrying.i feel like I need to fast forward 5 weeks so I can relax abit .

Wow twins,Barrie you must be thrilled.

I had a phycic reading the other week she told me I was gonna have 3 children. After that I had my 3rd miscarriage. I would be so pleased with twins, knackered but pleased.

I'm still getting lots of uncomfortable feelings in my ectopic side. It must be normal since baby is clearly where they should be. I've woken up and the nausea hit as soon as I opened my eyes again. I've still got to pack and laundry to put on the clothes horse but I'm just sat here with water and weetabix feeling green.. Bleurghhh.

I hope I'm able to relax and enjoy this pregnancy eventually. We aren't having any more and I don't want to have a awful experience.

Morning all. Welcome barbie. I would think if 2 definate fetal poles have been seen its unlikely one would be reabsorbed. I understand that happens when one fails to develop. Congrats on your double bundle.

guy I know where you're coming from with your thoughts but I don't think 'deserve' is right. You are usually so 'whats meant to be will be'. Hugs to you.

I went to the drs and he said I can self swab so I did and results back Tuesday (for the newcomers the dr on epu suggested my recent mc was caused by infection of increased natural organisms and to be swabbed next pregnancy - I was and its back. I had antibiotics to clear it again but need to check they worked. Plus BV has a high rate of recurring so I'm thinking I'll be swabbing weekly for peace of mind!)

Oh and he agrees the upset tum is anxiety.

Working weekends sucks barbie. I did last week and am doing next.

2 things happened yesterday that made me smile. My 6 yo rubbed my tummy (because of my cramps) and I would love him to ba able to rub a bump. Secondly, I flicked thru the channels and opted to keep the football on - last time I did that was with ds pregnancy.

Any scans this weekend?

Today we are pregnant.

sasha hows your guest behaving? Are you holding up?

chasing I hope you have a nice break and that the nausea eases.

Sorry if I missed things - the thread moves quick when you're napping

Morning ladies hope you are all well!

chasing i feel your pain. Sick before bed and sick upon waking. Bleurgh.

I am struggling. Nausea has been really bad in the evenings but today I've woken up with it. Didn't sleep well either. No vomiting, just feel so sick. Don't know what to do with myself. Last pregnancy, working was hard but that's all I had to do. Now it's the weekend but I have to look after dd which is so much harder.

Can any second timers remember when it gets better? I think with dd I started to feel better about 9 weeks. I'm 7 weeks today. Bleugh

Sorry guy I'm into my 9th week and still not feeling great. I have good and bad days. Sick most mornings, but that's me wanting to feel better. I was sick til 20 odd weeks with ds! I'm just exhausted. And the taste in my mouth is spoiling everything I eat and drink.
Do you have grandparents nearby who could help out?

No! No family within 300 miles! DH has taken dd out for the day.
I definitely felt better around 9 weeks with her though and nausea was completely gone by 12 weeks so going it will be similar.
20 weeks for you! That's rough!
God I hope this pregnancy works out. If it does, I never have to do this again as we only want the two children.

Morning all.

sick here too. Also have a bad headache. I thought paracetamol was ok but keep reading conflicting things.

In other random news my cat is being super affectionate and clingy which is lovely but so not like her!