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The best shit place to be grads - Early pregnancy after miscarriage - hopes and fears

999 replies

Gr33dyeggs · 04/03/2015 19:27

So heres a thread. Hope you all find it!

Congrats we've made it this far Wine

My worry at 5 weeks is I just feel apathetic and numb. Not excited, not looking forward. Not even fear. Just.... nothing. Constant knicker watch.

Plus wondering whether to push for an early scan and if so when? Losses were 9 and 11 weeks.

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ReverseTheTrend · 24/03/2015 10:31

So anxious I am literally shaking

I hope they can see on slam external scan, not sure I can go through with an internal

But if they can't see anything external and I don't do the internal then I will be really worried

Fuck

chasingtherainbow · 24/03/2015 10:35

Deep breathes reverse. You do whatever you want to do. How far along do you think you are? Hopefully an external scan will be possible for you... I feel the same. Thinking of you xxx

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 24/03/2015 11:04

They'll try external first and if they can't see properly, they'll go for internal. I'm hoping for internal for mine next week because I don't want there to be any doubt or uncertainty.
Deep breaths reverse. I know you're scared. It's nearly over now. Is there any reason other than previous miscarriage that you are nervous if bad news? Try to rationalise. Thanks Thanks

happygojo · 24/03/2015 11:10

Hi just me popping in again. Gr33dy Once you have a bartholins abscess/cyst you are prone to them which sucks! I had to have one operated on a few years ago (before I even thought about babies). If they get painful then definitely get the checked out, I don't think they are anything to do with the pregnancy but they can get nasty. Could it be that you may have been wiping a little more often and vigorously than is strictly necessary? It may have made a cyst that has been there a while flare up a little. Same with your MC, things messing about down there can really bring them on.

Good luck reverse I hope your scan goes well.

I am now 20 weeks..... had a scan yesterday.... however I still feel mentally like I am in the first trimester. My OH said to me yesterday that I am going to have to start accepting that this baby is fine and that we are actually going to become parents

Amyyy27 · 24/03/2015 11:27

wow 20 weeks Happy!! Great news :) Did you find out what you were having?

Thinking of you Reverse hope all is going well!

gennibugs · 24/03/2015 11:44

Lovely update happy - so glad all is well!

reverse thinking of you.

I think I'll have to have an internal scan on Friday, as I think I'll only be 6+6 and because I've got a chubby tummy!

happygojo · 24/03/2015 12:01

The only thing I found out Amy is that I am having an awkward child! Cross legged and in an awkward position so I need to go back next week so they can complete the head measurements. They told me not to worry though as they couldn't see any cause for concern, it was just at the wrong angle to measure. They will have another shot at the sex too next week, if baby is in a more cooperative mood!

I had an internal scan too because they had to measure my cervix (21mm in case anyone wondered lol!), it was hard as it was the first one since my MC but I am glad they did the baby one first. Internal scans suck but are unfortunately a necessary evil.

And yes.... time seems to fly between about 16 weeks and 20 weeks. I still can't believe I am half way through

Amyyy27 · 24/03/2015 12:11

Aww Happy I hope he/she lets you find out next week!

MsJupiter · 24/03/2015 12:44

Thinking of you Reverse. Hope everything is as you hope.

Like Guy I'd rather they go straight for the internal, so annoying to have to do the full bladder routine (ouch) and then they do an internal anyway. Plus as I am big I am sure they will need to anyway unless it is much later on.

Great news happy Grin

GirlSailor · 24/03/2015 13:01

Great news happy!

Thinking of you reverseFlowers

It looks like I might be the only one, but I've not had a problem with the internal scans I've had. Granted I wouldn't choose to have one for fun, but they've never been painful. I must have been lucky with my experiences - maybe there's a knack to the dildo cam, and I've just ended up with experts. Not sure what that says...

ReverseTheTrend · 24/03/2015 13:10

Sac, no baby

Devastated, literally feel suicidal, is this my life now, weeks of anxious hope then crashing despair

Amyyy27 · 24/03/2015 13:28

Reverse I am sooo so sorry. I don't think anything I can say can make you feel better. Just know we are all here for you to offload. Sending my love xx

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 24/03/2015 13:37

Oh god reverse. Is it possible they just didn't get a clear view? Did they do internal?

SashaKerr · 24/03/2015 13:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

happygojo · 24/03/2015 13:40

Reverse I am so SO sorry, it is utterly heartbreaking. I hope you are being looked after. There are people here and on the MC boards, there is the miscarriage association. Please reach out for support if you need it. Look after yourself xxxx

chasingtherainbow · 24/03/2015 13:44

Oh reverse. I am devastate for you xxx

MsJupiter · 24/03/2015 13:45

I'm so so sorry Reverse. I hope you have someone with you. It must feel so overwhelming but keep talking and ask for whatever help you need to get through this. My heart goes out to you. Thanks

GirlSailor · 24/03/2015 13:48

Oh reverse so sorry to hear your news. That just isn't fair.

gennibugs · 24/03/2015 13:52

reverse Thanks words cannot express how sorry I am. Life can be very cruel
As others have said we are here if you want to talk or just for some hand holding. I'm so sorry.

ReverseTheTrend · 24/03/2015 14:23

They took bloods, have to go back for more bloods Thursday, another scan Tuesday and then surgical on thur next week

I know some of you have had the surgical option before. Can you function fairly soon after. It's my mun's 50th that weekend and I want to be there

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 24/03/2015 14:29

The general anaesthetic makes you feel groggy for a day or so. I'd say take it fairly easy but you should be physically ok for your mum's birthday.

Fuck. I'm so sorry. I or this awful time passes as quickly and easily as possible for you. It is so unfair. Sending strength to you. Thanks Thanks

SashaKerr · 24/03/2015 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Gr33dyeggs · 24/03/2015 16:26

I'm gutted for you. So unfair reverse. No other words. I hope you're being looked after. Flowers

OP posts:
happygojo · 24/03/2015 16:35

Hi Reverse I opted for medical management for mine as an in patient as it is kinder on my cervix than ERPC, and my cervix is already damaged. I bled for about 9 days afterwards but it wasn't too bad and actually the first week after my MC I felt ok, almost relieved at the conclusion to the horrid week before, it was after that where it got mentally tough. I was awake for the procedure, but I also had pethidine, which helps.

From what I know (others can correct me) that with an ERPC that your hormones normalise much quicker afterwards? so it will physically just be the general that you have to deal with. My tip for a general is to carb load the day before, like you would for a marathon. Most of the feeling crap is due to the not eating and dehydration.

This is so shit, but I know I coped with these early days by dealing with the practicalities

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 24/03/2015 18:51

I just picked up 15kg dd while twisting my torso and felt a popping sensation in my lower abdomen. Lifting something can't cause a mc can it?