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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

calling all mature mums - pregnant at 43

203 replies

cora · 24/10/2006 22:32

Hi - have 2 kids already 9 and 4 and am pregnant with a third at 43. All is ok so far but feel so aprehensive about being a new mum again at my age - if there are any older new mums about my age out there who can share their experiences with me - I would be so grateful.

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harktheheraldfoxessing · 06/12/2006 18:48

Oh you poor thing I can understand why you want to get that wee baby out!!!!

peacemakertooneandall · 07/12/2006 13:58

I wish I could enjoy being pregnant but I can't. There are always too many problems and worries that get in the way. My DH feels sad for me that I don't enjoy being pregnant too, he feels I'm missing out

harktheheraldfoxessing · 07/12/2006 16:41

Peace - I found my first pregnancy really magical - "growing a baby" seemed a miracle. I spent ages feeling movements, talking to him, reading books on it, doing yoga etc etc. But the pregnancies get more pedestrian each time don't they? Its also really hard being PG when you've got other little monsters at home to look after, its exhausting - aside from all the worries. I've had bleeding with my last two and was convinced this one wouldn't be healthy, due to my age so IKWYM to an extent, though you're having a hardeer time than me atm.

Do you think this will be your last one?

peacemakertooneandall · 11/12/2006 10:08

We would like one more after this but I don't know if it will happen or if this old body of mine would stand up to it Had a check-up on Friday and actually saw a doctor who smiles for a change. Ridiculous as it sounds I feel much more at ease if the doc is friendly. My blood pressure reflected this because it was totally normal which shocked me. We heard the heartbeat for the first time with this babe which was lovely. So, have got my 21 week scan on 12th Jan and then a doppler scan on 26 Jan then scans every 4 weeks after which have all been booked up. All in all a very good appointment

K1K2 · 11/12/2006 23:00

Seems like a lot of the familar names from the "over 35 and preg thread-mature ladies walk this way" have defected over to this thread- my last post killed it off obviously! is the this the most current one, or am I missing out on any others! Hi how are you all doing -Jabberwocky - you must be nearly due?

HollyandMistletoeforever · 12/12/2006 01:17

Hi again - I've been on this thread before I think, but every time I post I seem to kill it, at least temporarily, so I guess it's due to go very quiet right about now....

I'm 41 with DS's aged 14 and 3.6 with my first DD due in April next year. Definitely my last, but definitely wanted (although still a bit of a surprise!).

Just starting to get over a nasty bout of flu and very depressed because nothing is ready for Christmas, house is a tip and (deep joy!!) MIL is coming to stay for the weekend! Talk to me, fellow mature ladies (who don't feel very mature at all?). Tomorrow will do, obviously....

peacemakeruk · 12/12/2006 10:42

Hi there HollyandMistletoeforever and K1K2,
This does seem to be a quiet thread at the best of times. Maybe you two can liven it up a bit .

I am 40 (41 in 2 weeks but I'd rather not think about that) and am 17 weeks pregnant with LO number 3, I have 2 DS's of 14 and 6.

jabberwocky · 12/12/2006 10:50

Hi guys, I was trying to keep up with both threads but have fallen woefully behind

K1K2, I think I posted my announcement on one of MN's quieter days - ds2 decided to come early! The section was scheduled for 10 days before my due date, but he came almost 2 weeks sooner at 36+5. Turns out I had started to develop toxemia so it's just as well my water broke when it did.

He's doing great, btw. We're just trying to get that weight up. Birth weight was 5 lbs 3 1/2 oz. At last Wed weigh-in he was up to 5 lbs 8 oz but pediatrician isn't going to be pleased until he is 7 lbs. So I'm feeding him almost constantly it seems

How are things with you?

Juicythe2ndnotsowiseman · 12/12/2006 11:15

Jabberwocky, wow, your baby's here. You were one of my first contacts on MN, on the due in Dec thread before my first mc (was Angsthase then) and now you've had your baby. Where has the time gone! Congratulations!!!

Glad you're both doing well. Hope mine turns out as well as yours. I'm now due May 2007.

I know I should post more often on here girls, but I do read it every time there's an update - if that counts for anything

jabberwocky · 12/12/2006 14:20

Angsthase, yes, hi!!!

I'm so happy that you're pg again Huge congratulations!

harktheheraldfoxessing · 12/12/2006 20:52

Hi HollyandMistletoeforever and K1K2

Holly mine is due in March . I'm 43, with DS 6 and DD 3 and DS number 2 on his way!

Jabberwocky congratulations on your baby - how lovely! R U giving him expressed milk atm?

I think Peacemaker and I were trying to keep this thread going for a little while there, so great to have you all to talk to as well. I love this thread as it makes me feel less of a freak for being PG at 43 (and also having such young children in my 40's). I've had plenty negative comments to content with

Peacnaker, I'm glad you're thinking of having one more - I would secretly like a fourth, but think DH would leave me . When I suggested a third, his reaction was "you must be joking" and it took a bit of persuasion (mainly due to him being even older than me).

I may be suffering from "last baby syndrome" a bit too !

I'm just so knackered atm though - much more than with the previous two pregnancies!

jabberwocky · 12/12/2006 22:38

Actually he's feeding really well on one side but I started to develop mastitis on the other. He's never fed well on the right and I think that led to the problem. So, I'm pumping on the right and freezing for when I go back to work p-t. So the left isdoing double duty, but holding up well so far

HollyandMistletoeforever · 13/12/2006 00:53

Well done on your (very!) little one, JW and good luck with the feeding. I can't imagine feeding one so tiny as both mine have been over 9lbs! I am already stressing a little about feeding this time. I bf both DS's, but only managed 6 months with DS2 as he was so damn cranky and hungry and I was so damn knackered!

But this is going to be a mellow baby... this is going to be a mellow baby... this is going to be a mellow baby...

ipanemagirl · 13/12/2006 01:43

congratulations cora! I'm very happy for you and also very jealous (hope you don't mind me saying so) I wish I knew if I could have another, I'm 41 and took forever to get pg with dd1 (5) We've been trying off and on for a couple of years now and have only produced one mc since my ds was born.

GP was pretty dismissive recently and basically said that my eggs were ancient so that is prob why I'm not getting pg. Don't know what to think! But there do seem to be loads of women having perfectly healthy pgnancies in their 40s. Don't know whether to just give up and appreciate the one I have or to keep hoping.

I have to say I found the whole wee stick thing hard to work out, never seem to get a line, thought maybe I was menopausal but blood test says I'm not. I just can't believe I'm not going to have another, it's so strange and mournful a thought. Do you older mums get pg with loads of predictive work? Or is it just good luck? Thanks

jabberwocky · 13/12/2006 03:35

ipanemegirl, I didn't do any official fertility things or temping, ovulaion tests, etc. I used cm to determine ovulation and cocentrated on things to encourage amount of said cm such as:

omega 3's
cough syrup (google cough syrup conception for details)
epo
grapefruit juice

also pre-natal vitams and a low dose aspirin to increase blood flow to uterus.

Got pg practically on my 41st bday.

Ancient eggs indeed! What a thing for him to say. Elibean just gave birth at, I believe, age 46.

peacemakeruk · 13/12/2006 09:35

ipanemagirl,
It took me 18 months to get pregnant with this LO and we tracked ovulation by the calendar because I'm pretty regular but it still took a long time. My DH has a low sperm count which accounts for how long it took us.

harktheheraldfoxessing - this is my first LO with my DH so we'd have to have a go at another He would have 6 or 7 if it was up to him but as it took so long to conceive this one I don't see that happening

We got a doppler yesterday. We're only hiring it for a couple of months until we can regularly feel kicking (can feel some movement already), and found the heartbeat straightaway last night, its a great feeling listening to the sound

jabberwocky · 13/12/2006 10:14

Oh, and speaking of dh's - boxers not briefs!

ipanemagirl · 13/12/2006 10:15

thanks jabberwocky and peacemaker. dh is having his sperm count assessed at the moment so maybe that's a factor too. He's a smoker too which I'm sure is absolutely terrible for ttc but will he stop?

Juicythe2ndnotsowiseman · 13/12/2006 11:36

Ipanemagirl - If you can't get him to stop try to encourage him to cut down. My DH didn't want to stop either, but I did get him to take zinc supps and folic acid, at least that way you can feel like he's doing something too. TBH I'd already conceived before they could take effect for my DH, but it made me feel like we were both doing something towards it IYSWIM.

I was taking grapefruit juice, EPO, folic acid and cough meds (guafanesin) to help my EWCM for a while before I asked my DH to start with the supps.

Good luck x

ipanemagirl · 13/12/2006 14:54

thanks juicy, what's LO? I've checked on the acronym list and can't see it - I'm sure it's probably obvious!
Part of me is superstitious about my age plus his smoking - it makes me think we must be multiplying the risk of abnormality enormously.

peacemakeruk · 13/12/2006 14:56

LO = Little One, in my case I use it when talking about my baby yet to be born

Juicythe2ndnotsowiseman · 13/12/2006 16:41

Ipanemagirl - I'm 39 and DH is 45, if that makes you feel any better about the age thing.

I also cut down my alcohol consumption (which had been substantial) in the last 2 months upto conception. It was like the final push!

harktheheraldfoxessing · 14/12/2006 09:00

Hi everyone

Still completely knackered - must be my age or something !!

Ipanemagirl - I conceived my first two at 36 and 39 and conceieved quickly. Ditto third conception (took 2 months), which ended in MC. However, this time round it took 6 months which was ages for me. Coupled with the MC, its taken a year to conceieve this one. I think its been my age (43) plus I got very stressed out about whether I could still conceive and go full term or not (people kept saying "you're prabably too old). I think its very unhelpful psychologically when you have to listen to negative comments, like those of your GP.

Have you been using those ovulation predictor kits? If you're getting negatives, it may be the timing is wrong?

I'd say keep trying definately, loits of women have babies in their 40's. It might be worth finding out when your Mum reached menopause as well, as its usually hereditory and can indicate when you will reach menopause.

peacemakeruk · 14/12/2006 14:36

how funny is this, my DH has booked us into a fancy hotel for our 2nd wedding anniversary (next July), we'll obviously be taking the baby with us, dinner is included in the price. My DH has booked us a table for 2 for 7.00 p.m. -including a highchair - you can tell he's a first time dad thinking that a 2 month old baby can sit in a highchair I can just picture it, I'm sat here at work PML and just can't stop

HollyandMistletoeforever · 14/12/2006 23:38

Aw - bless your DH, peacemaker! It is a funny image !

Ipanemagirl - like Jabberwocky I also conceived just about right on my 41st birthday. I'd had my coil out for just over a year, with a miscarriage in March. I was hopeless at all the ttc stuff though, the only thing I actually tried at one point was the ovulation predictor kit which stumped me utterly. I had actually decided to call it a day and get my coil back in and had stopped noting the dates of my period when, surprise surprise, it happened ! My DH is only 36 and very healthy although I used to smoke (stopped 2 years ago) and am 1 - 2 stone overweight so go figure.

I'm 23 weeks today. BTW a friend of mine, also 41, has just found out she's expecting after trying for ages. Good luck to you - you just never know !