calling all mature mums - pregnant at 43

[cora]

Hi - have 2 kids already 9 and 4 and am pregnant with a third at 43. All is ok so far but feel so aprehensive about being a new mum again at my age - if there are any older new mums about my age out there who can share their experiences with me - I would be so grateful.

Peacemaker - my family are completely absent (my Mum lives in Bath and cares for my brother. neither My Mum not Dad have ever offered to babysit or help out in any way ). It must be claustrophobic living with monsters in law though.

not

Its very claustraphobic. I also have 2 DS aged 6 and 14 so you can imagine can't you I am feeling quite down today which doesn't help anything.
I hope we'll find out the sex at the next scan which is early January.

Peacemaker - you poor thing If DS 1&2 are getting on your nerves, can't you set them on the MIL ?

When are you thinking of buying? Have you considered social housing in the meantime as you'd be eligable to be housed by the council or a HA, having 2/3 children?

BTW am 24+2, not 23+2

We're looking to buy this time next year so we've a way to go. Problem is we both have debts we need to clear first even before the saving can begin so even renting via council or HA would be too expensive for us. The MIL is only charging us £200 a month so we can't complain too much

Peacemaker - a year isn't that long, though you're probably really cramped and feel like screaming sometimes . When you have the baby you can go for looooong walks with the buggy to get some space. Maybe MIL will help with the baby too?

You're very good clearing your debts - I've been overdrawn since I was 18 .

Evening everyone - just a flying fast one from me (four hours sleep last night, bp rising, def. need to attempt better night!)

Steggers, just been sent a menthol aqueous cream by a friend who had it during her pg - OB happened to mention menthol re itching today too: she said it fools the nerve endings into thinking 'menthol' instead of 'itch'. Only just applied it, but does have cooling effect...wanted to pass it on in case it helps you...xx

Thanks Eli, I think I will go and see the pharmacist about trying some tomorrow. I am up yet again scratching yards of skin off my legs, its really annoying me now!!! I just keep trying to think that there is not long to go.

How are you, your cs is getting very near. I feel quite nervous at the moment but I suppose that is to be expected. Dh and I have to go to the labour suite on 21st for a pre operative assessment where they give you a tour and take bloods etc, so I hope that will have a calming effect.

I am quite worried about the cs itself, as it sounds like the book in a few mothers for the same time each day, and they only have one obstetric theatre to deal with all the planned sections and all the emergencies. We have been told that i have to fast from midnight the night before and report to the post natal ward at 7.30 the day of the operation. This all sounded fine until they said that if the labour suite was busy we may have to wait until after lunch, I will be passing out by then!! Is the proceedure where you are similar? Our maternity care is all in a right state at the moment as they are 'downgrading' our local maternity unit, and I wondered whether or not policies were more parent friendly in other areas?

Morning steggers, hope you got back to sleep!

I found the menthol helpful - do try it. Apparently sometimes they have to make it up specially, its not asked for often - but worth it. You can also ask for calamine with menthol in it, but aqueous cream more moisturizing IMO.

I've been told exactly same thing: fasting from midnight, and in at 7.30. If you have the early slot for theatre, you might be fine - the later in the day you are booked in for, the more likely to be bumped according to my OB? I think the worst thing with fasting before any op is the thirst: you might be allowed to suck ice chips, or sip a little water. TBH, whenever I've had day time surgery (not that often) and had to fast from night before, I've allowed myself some small sips of water on waking in the morning - knowing full well that I won't be in theatre till late morning. I've always told nurses too, and they've been fine with it - just don't gulp down a cup of tea

Excitement and adrenalin will probably keep us going, but I do know what you mean - not having food is my main preoccupation these days, after itching!

I'm excited and nervous - the bp thing is worrying me (had PIH and was induced early last time because of it, then ended up on meds postpartum) because it makes everything less predictable and more medical. But I also finally realize this is real, and am flooded with memories of my dd's arrival...its such a special time, this end bit. And I'm determined to feel it, in spite of The Itch

How about you? How are you feeling, itch aside?

Good luck getting menthol stuff today, hope it helps a bit!

Hey Fox - another one with non-helping family here

Though my mother offers to, and would like to, she is sooo helpless when it comes to it I end up looking after her instead; probably doesn't help that she is older now, but tbh she's always been like that! Sweet, but needy.

But I'm very lucky that dh works funny hours, and is around a lot - plus I have p/t help. How about you?

Eli - I have nowt help However, as I work f/t, DH does do 50% of the childcare and is usually home at a decent time, so he does bed, bath and also makes the pack lunches

My Mum has the excuse that she has my brother to look after and lives miles away, but my Dad only lives a stones throw away and never offers. However, his partner actually offered to babysit a few weeks ago {shock} {shock} - this means we have to get our act together and actually arrange to go out!!

When is your CS date BTW?

I'm lucky, my MIL will look after our baby when I go back to work.

Hi, not pregnant anymore, as dd2 was born 3 months ago. At the time I was only 42 y old. Also have a ds 6y and dd1 3 y. Of course 3 makes you knackered...but no dd2 was not an accident .
DS and dd1 fight a lot with each other but both adore dd2. I quite enjoy the interactions between them and was one of the reasons I wanted no3.

madness, your LOs are the same age as mine (DS6 and DD 3). I'm hopeing mine will react like yours too, to the baby

Peacemaker, I'm very . We are paying £12k a year for a childminder!!!! When I go back to work after this one, DH is giving up to be a sahd

Its a relief I can tell you. With my last son I was paying a childminder then a nursery on my own (his dad sodded off). It was taking nearly half of my salary and how I managed I'll never know.

Madness, congrats on your dd2 (and, I'm guessing here, but happy recent birthday!).

Fox, hope you have a great night out - make the most of it! My Dad's partner (stepmother) is much more pro-active with kids than my Mum is, but no babysitting as yet in 3 years as she's also a confirmed workaholic and far too busy doing important things

fox, I noticed they were similar age!
Especially ds 6 likes his baby sister. Was a bit surprised as he initially wanted a baby brother, and also because he is quite a "boy"; loves football, fighting games etc. But when dd2 cries he will tell me and often carry her to me (never mind I had put her down because I was too busy to hold her...).

Peacemaker - I often think how well off I'd be if I could keep that £12k. For one thing, I'd have a much better car

Eli - Wagamamas was really nice. Maybe you can join us next year. Are you planning to BF? I BF DD for 18 months and it plays havoc with your social life Am already visualising MN nights out with baby plugged on at the dining table I remember going to a restaurent with DS and the manager whisking him away to "show him the kitchen" during the main course, so we could enjoy our meal

Madness - I remember when DD was born, DS was the only person who could stop her crying. She adores him. He is very chuffed he'll have a brother as he thinks girls are "yukky". DD currently thinks she has a baby in her tummy too. Keeps saying "ooh careful, you'll squash the baby in my tummy". When the time comes, not sure how I'll explain that the baby is not coming out like mine . BTW congrats on your new baby - what is it like having three then???

Bump

Hello everyone. I wanted to let you all know that I had my private Nuchal scan yesterday, and everything is looking good. The NT measurement was 1.4mm, and there is a nasal bone present, and other markers looked good too. I had a blood test for biochemical markers, and when I get the results on Tuesday next week, they will give me a risk factor then.
peacemaker for your result, but I think my reaction would be the same. Was it a private test? Mine was a combined blood/nuchal - also known as an OSCAR. The combined test gives a 90% detection rate for Downs, and there is only a 1% false positive rate (ie incorrectly giving you a high risk factor)

Gingebear - that's great news. Where did you have your Oscar done?

I had mine at the FMC and baby had exactly the same NF measurement as yours (1.4mm), which the sonographer described as "nice and slim". It reduced my risk from 1:29 to 1:595.

I think its a great test as it gives such accurate results without the risk of invasive tests. Plus its an excuse to have a good long look at your baby on the screen

Leeds Screening centre, £190.

Ours was £150 I think. Not that many places seem to do OSCARS yet....

Big Fat Bump

Congrats on the good test result gingerbear.

Hark, for a while my ds said that he had a baby in his tummy too! I thought is was cute, but dh was a bit disconcerted