I am 7 weeks 2 days and have my early scan tomorrow (got pregnant through first time ICSI) I am so worried!

[anroga]

I am 7 weeks 2 days pregnant and have my first early scan tomorrow for a heartbeat (or beats they put two back!).

I have generally been feeling pregnant, cramps, very tired, boobs have got bigger and hurt plus a little bit of nausea when I wake and constant trips to the toilet but even with all these symptoms I am still worried about the scan tomorrow that there won't be anything there or no heartbeat.

Can anyone give me some guidance on what to expect at the scan tomorrow please (plus some sucess stories!) thanks x

Sorry you're having such a hard time Ruby. Try not to be too hard on yourself though. It sounds like you're not sleeping well and that combined with all your hormones will make you blub at the slightest thing. My advice would be to take things one day or one week at a time. Try to improve on your sleep. Is there something missing from your diet that's causing the cramps? Do you have a proper pregnancy pillow? Can your DH do abut more to help? Hope you get sorted soon.

Got a call today to say that everything was clear from our Serenity test, so feeling very pleased. Was also able to get through to the IVF unit and I'm weaning myself off the oestrogen and progesterone over the next week.

Ah Ruby I am already feeling the glow of the second trimester, thank you, such a relief to have energy again.

Sorry to hear you have so much on your plate at the moment, and that you're feeling anxious. I cannot recommend Mindfulness enough, and the book by Mark Williams/Danny Penman. It comes with a CD of meditation tracks too.

Good news on your results Gill. We had our 12 week scan this morning, all good xxx

Thank you ruby for giving me a peace in my mind regarding the position of NHS of no more scans, as verkey said it is good signal.
Regarding your feelings at the moment it's perfectly understandable , you have 2 beautiful babies inside and try to get the positive of this situation, I imagine that bleedings were explained clearly to you and NHS is controlling it?
With one baby boy I am really sensitive I imagine you with 2 the hormones are working hard and everything represent now a big deal and adding one to the other we feel terrible. Please do your best to think positive, talk to your babies and imagine them in your arms with your DH with you, imagine beautiful things and try to enjoy your maternity. It is easy to say I know but I really hope that you can find a way to feel emotionally better. Leave to your husband to sort the problem that annoyes you the most.

Thank you to everyone for the kind thoughts and suggestions - I think I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of TWO little ones arriving imminently, and hence am getting stressed at the things I can't control - lodger, builders etc. I had a good think about why I was getting so upset and having the bad dreams and as far as I can work out, it's anxiety over the situation coupled with still feeling the effects of my ex's abuse - I heard so many times that I was stupid, useless, couldn't get anything right etc and although I thought I had moved on, I guess some things stay with you (I was with him for four years before seeing sense and leaving him!). So at the back of my mind is always the thought that I'll make some terrible, stupid mistake and everyone will hate me. I'm trying to stay positive (and cat I will definitely try the mindfulness!) but it seems my fears are coming out in my dreams, plus the raging hormones probably don't help.

Pleased to hear that your scan results were good Gill and cat!

gcerron, the doctors couldn't find out why I'd been bleeding but apparently it's common to not see a cause, even with an internal exam and/ or a scan. They just wanted me to rest for a while and in hospital there's nothing else to do! If you'd like more reassurance could you pay for a private scan, Groupon/ Wowcher etc often have cheap deals on the 4D ones?

Try to stay cool in the heat ladies, I'm off out tomorrow for work but will mainly be lurking in the shade!!

Hello Ruby I hope your OH is looking after you.

From experience, if you have had a difficult time in the past, when you are stressed or anxious it seems to make your brain remember past difficulties more. So feeling this way doesn't necessarily mean you haven't "moved on". Then you have pregnancy hormones and natural anxiety about your two wee babies on top, it's a tough mix to swallow.

Make sure that you have someone you can share these feelings with, and that your OH knows what kind of support you need from him (I'm guessing a lot of reassurance will help).

Bad dreams can be worrying, but try not to think of them as a projection of your daytime thoughts. It's more like your brain filing pieces of paper away, and sometimes your emotions pick up on one phrase on the paper and go overboard on it.

Do try the mindfulness, it will help you to get a little peace and distance from your worries. Remember that you don't need to fix everything (anything!?), you just need to keep plugging on, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, and trust that things will work out.

It might be worth considering having a few counselling sessions to get some things off your chest, especially with a CBT specialist.

Thinking of you, and hoping you can put your mind at rest, even if only for a little while.

Thank you so much cat - some days I'm ok, some it feels like wading through treacle to get anywhere - and I still don't feel as grateful as I should to OH for managing lots of it he's trying hard, bless him.

I think you're right, I'm stuck in a bit of a rut remembering bad events and fearing that everything will turn out that way again, even though I know that logically there's no reason they should. I worry about exercising too much, I worry about not exercising enough, etc.....

We've just reached 24 weeks now which makes it all feel more real, I've got quite a big bump now and will have another scan and midwife booking in appointment this week. The closer it gets the more I'm a bit scared at being given two tiny babies to look after but I guess if I wasn't a bit worried then I wouldn't put so much effort into getting things right before they come home.

How is everyone else? Any scans/ progress to report? I was very unhappy in the heat yesterday!!

Glad to hear you are having some good days Ruby hang onto those. In the bad days, try to remember that the bad feelings won't last (this is difficult!), they always pass.

Update on me - just as I was starting to feel a bit of second trimester glow - more ebpnergy, less nausea, I picked up a stomach bug. That was awful. Today I celebrated 24 hours back on full food, and the kitten has probably lapped all of that up - and has made me sleep hours and hours! Feels good to be back on my feet.

Seems ages til my next scan (end of August) but I'm ok with that.

Quick update from me too, sorry haven't posted for a while been on hols. Well only 3 more weeks of work now and massively struggling so tired and just can't be bothered anymore. Have got my scan on Thursday to check my placenta so fingers crossed that it's good news, will keep you posted. Hope everyone else is doing ok x

Hi girls!! Back again... Good luck on Thursday whittle regarding the maternity leave I requested stop at week 38, I am quite worry if it's too much!! What week you are in 3 weeks?
ruby it's fantastic that you are getting better!! we are quite close I am in my week 25!!
blackandwhite this process demands lot of patience I am afraid, but every step forward is a good relief.. For now take care of yourself and enjoy your pregnancy
Girls I would like to know if any of you is taking aspirin, there's a conflict between the midwife and the GP, at the moment my blood pressure is ok, the midwife said that due to my age I must have aspirin once per day, so she prescribed one box and asked me to request more to the GP. Two different gps said that there's no reason to take aspirin since my blood pressure is normal. Any experience with this?? Thank you and I hope everybody is doing well

I'll be just shy of 37 weeks gcerron am taking two weeks annual leave then officially start mat leave on 10th August am due on 15th. I would just see how you are feeling closer to the time you can always change it. Can't help regarding the aspirin tho I'm afraid

Hi gceron - have a look at section 1.1.2 of the NICE guidance: if you fall into any of those categories you are advised to take aspirin

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg107/chapter/1-Guidance

"Advise women at high risk of pre-eclampsia to take 75 mg of aspirin daily from 12 weeks until the birth of the baby. Women at high risk are those with any* of the following:

• hypertensive disease during a previous pregnancy
• chronic kidney disease
• autoimmune disease such as systemic lupus erythematosis or antiphospholipid syndrome
• type 1 or type 2 diabetes
• chronic hypertension."

And

"Advise women with more than one moderate risk factor for pre-eclampsia to take 75 mg of aspirin daily from 12 weeks until the birth of the baby. Factors indicating moderate risk are:

• first pregnancy
• age 40 years or older
• pregnancy interval of more than 10 years
• body mass index (BMI) of 35 kg/m2 or more at first visit
• family history of pre-eclampsia
• multiple pregnancy."

If those apply to you then yes, your MW is right. However, it might be easier to just go and buy baby aspirin rather than fighting your GP, depending on whether you're seeing them anyway!

Thank you whittle as you suggest I will change my maternity leave if I feel awful, just one thing, if I decided to change it, this must be communicated 28 days in advance??
Great information warrior this helps me for assess myself and also speak with the gps with some kind of support. My case is first pregnancy and more than 40, I am currently 41 so it seems that I must keep taking aspirin as the midwife requested.
Thank you girls I hope you are doing well

My place says the same as well but I think ultimately if you are struggling then I would hope they would let you change your dates with less notice. Your priority is you and the babies. I think hey say this is case you go off very early so that they have time to get cover

I've also been told to take aspirin gceron as I'm 41. They said it was to help improve blood flow through the placenta, as it can diminish in older ladies. They're also keen not to let me go beyond my due date as the risk of still birth is higher in older women.

Hi girls!! whittle I hope your scan went well yesterday!!
Gillster such a coincidence!! We're the same age!! Yes in my case it's the same, they won't let me go beyond 40 weeks due to the same argument, stillbirth and I don't have any problem with that really, I accept whatever procedure as long as my baby borns sane and safe so I imagine at the beginning of October I will be a bit nervous but let's hope that everything will be fine!! When is your due date?? Regarding the aspirin I just set the alarm to take it at noon, I forgot yesterday!!

How is everybody else? keep updating us

Hi all scan went well yesterday baby is all healthy and perfect size. Apparently she is 6lbs 1oz already! So if she is meant to be putting on half a pound a week that means she will be around 8.5lbs when born! Anyway good news is the placenta has moved safely out the way so I won't have to have and planned csection and can go to the birth centre. They have booked another scan for just past my due date in case I haven't delivered to consider induction as they said they wouldn't let me go past 41 weeks if possible but fingers crossed she will have arrived by then.

Ha, me too gcerron and Gillster! If all goes well (first pregnancy after three rounds of IVF - early scan on Monday) I'll be 41 at delivery. Good to see I'm not alone!

Ah lovely news whittle, only a month or so till you get to hold your baby girl!

I'm taking aspirin gcerron, in my case it's because I take blood pressure medication - I already had high blood pressure but they've changed it since I became pregnant - and because I'm having twins. We're 25 weeks today so I'm not far behind you! I haven't had any side effects from the aspirin but of course everyone is different, the pharmacist reminded me to take it with food though.

Interesting to read everyone's maternity leave plans, I was planning to go mid-September - babies are due end October, I'd start mat leave beginning October but take the two weeks of annual leave that I'm owed before that. However at the antenatal clinic last week the doctor warned me that I probably won't make it that far - having twins is tiring, being pregnant in summer is tiring and the medication that I take will make me tired - in short, I'll probably turn into a dormouse and need to sleep more! So now I don't know whether to start mat leave early or use my holiday to take days off and effectively start working part time - or both, and start winding down from now. Now sure what to do

I would try and use holiday of you can first ruby and try and save the mat leave to spend with the babies after. How much may leave do you get at your place?

Hi girls!! Great news about the placenta and also that your baby is healthy and all looks fine with you whittle good luck in the day of the labour you must be counting the days !
Welcome to the group of over 40s warrior yes it's good to hear other similar experience as well!! How many weeks you are now?
Girls I am taking the aspirin now, sometimes I feel little bit hot but not sure if it's due to the weather or what?? And regarding the maternity leave I am also concerned because my due date is on 15th October and I am thinking of working until the end of September, not sure if I made a good decision.
On the other hand, how are you feeling? Can you sit down and watch TV for an hour?? I feel so uncomfortable I feel better when I am walking than when I am sitting down, at nights it's beginning to be difficult to turn from one side to the other plus I became a wee machine!! Are you sleeping on your left side? Any comments regarding this point?? Apparently it's the best position for the baby and the flow of the blood etc?? I try to do it but at some point that side begins to heart so I change to the right side. What about you girls??
As usual wishing you all the best!!

Hey whittle, I get 28 days per year in addition to bank holidays, of which I have 11 left for this year - my current thinking is to finish on September 4th, use my two weeks annual leave and officially start mat leave on September 18th/ 21st (not sure which day it counts from). I'd be 35 weeks by then which is getting very close to full term for twins! When do you finish?

I get uncomfortable now when doing most things gcerron - my feet are so swollen and I move so slowly, think it's the little feet pressing on my ribcage and making me breathless! At night I try to lie on my left but during the night I manage to spread-eagle myself and wake up on my back. I'm thinking of getting some cheap pillows just to prop myself up with, I have a V shaped pillow to go under the bump.

It's very hard for us ladies being classed as 'older' isn't it? I'm 38 and although no-one has said anything I know a few people have thought "blimey she's leaving it a bit late" - OH on the other hand is 44 and no-one bats an eyelid, even though it was his fault we haven't had kids sooner!! Grrrrr!

Hey everyone, just dropping in again, I don't know how you all find the time to get on here, I'm just soooo tired all the time, I read the posts but don't have the energy to reply! Anyone else still feeling really tired? I get confused counting this weeks thing but I think by tonight we count as having finished our 27th week so am I 26+7 today? Not sure, but am still getting sick a couple of times a week and just soooo exhausted! I feel huge and am getting depressed that EVERY single person recently who has asked when I'm due has said "OMG, are you sure it;s not twins?" :(

As for maternity leave, I don't really get it properly as am self employed so am going to try and work up to 2 weeks before, then I can just do whatever I can until due date and then take Maternity allowance benefit. Just wish I could stop earlier but can't afford it!

Anyone else feeling so under-prepared? I feel like I know nothing at all about what we need to do, started the nursery 6 weeks ago and still haven't even finished the filling as so much else has come up.

Hope everyone's having a healthy pregnancy, mine definitely is, it's just me who feels sick and tired, but I guess that's cos he's sucking all my energy to grow so big!

Happy Pregnancys Ladies xxx

Hi girls!!
ruby the adjective of "older" is precisely a constant even in the appointments with midwife, consultants or obstetricians and I imagine friends and family, anyway my main concern is when doctors talk about higher risk for a variety of complications , thanks God up today my pregnancy is quite normal, I hope things continue like this. I will have a look that V pillow!!
verkey glad to hear from you!! don't worry about people 's comments, they always have to say something that at some point annoyed us. Regarding the symptoms as long as your midwife is not concerned I think it's just part of being pregnant, the symptoms are different for each person so I hope you get better and more energetic in the coming weeks. I am behind in terms of nursery, but don't get stressed just do it at your rhythm prioritising the main things.
Hope everybody else is doing well and enjoying the pregnancy,
whittle let us know when you have your baby in hands!! I am not sure but it seems that you will be the first delivering! so exciting!!

Ruby I am 38 and my dh is 44 just the same as you - I went to a family party on Saturday with some of my Aunt and Uncles friends aswell and got asked twice how old I was which was then followed up with how big my bump is for 7 months!

I mentally stick two fingers up to all of them about being an 'older' mother as luckily I have sailed through this pregnancy (apart from being a bit tired, backache and the same rib ache as you are getting, apparently its my little mans bony shoulders!) and have enjoyed every minute of it which I am sure you have, we have all gone through so much to get here I am not letting some small minded people spoil it! Rant over ha ha!

Hope everyone is still doing well with their pregnancies, we should all stay in touch after the births as I am sure we will still have tons of questions to ask ha ha!

Exactly, I don't think 'older' makes as much difference as 'healthy', and most of us ladies have been keeping as healthy as we can for TTC/ IVF purposes!!

Saw the midwife on Sunday - they're so short of appointment at the GP's surgery that they're running emergency clinics at the local hospital - and everything was fine bump was 34cm which apparently is big for 26 weeks, even with twins?! Oh and the midwife said I should have gone to my 24 week midwife appointment (the one the ANC told me to cancel). You can't win...

Anyhow today I'm feeling a bit rough - breathless, nauseous etc - nothing terrible but thought I'd call the maternity triage for advice. They told me to go to A&E?!? What a waste of NHS resources, I think I just have little feet stuck under my ribs, I'm not going to keel over just yet!

How is everyone else? Glad the sun seems to have gone away for a bit?! I don't mean to sound ungrateful for summer but I'm glad it's not quite so hot!