Who visited you in hospital after birth?

[Stillyummy]

I am pregnant with my first baby and was wondering how soon after the birth did you feel like receiving visitors and who visited you in hospital? This thread is the result of an over enthusiastic mother in law who needs her expectations managed.

I had my DP and mum in the deliver room.
Then MIL & FIL, sisters x 2, step dad and dad and step mum visit when he was a few hours old.
I was happy to see them all they bought food! and show off DS. I don't think anything would have kept them away

(I was the only one in a ward with 6 beds so we didn't disturb anybody)

You could hear the moans of labouring ladies from down the corridor, my teenage sister was very
Haha!

Everyone visited me in hospital. Df had to stop dh's uncles coming into the labour room to say hello. totally weird and inappropriate. Fortunately that was only first time around. subsequent babies only had immediate family come.
Actually, i tell a lie. Dh's nephew didn't come. what with him being only 5 years old at the time.

With dc1 I think both sets of grandparents came. I was perfectly happy with that. All are nice reasonable people.
With dc2 and 4 I came home too quickly for visitors but both sets visited within a couple of days. I can't imagine wanting to keep them away. They're our families, we love them, they love us and they're so excited to meet and share our newest arrival each time.

With dc3 I was desperate for people to come. I had been in hospital for weeks so wanted to see people but mainly because she hadn't been given a very good chance of survival and I wamted our loved ones to get to meet her. Luckily she's been ok in the main.

OP it's lovely that your MIL is enthusiastic.

But your baby, your body, your birth, your rules.

Be firm. I wish I had - I caved, and had MIL to stay (after she cried on the phone every day for a week massive eyeroll) and I really should have been in a quiet nest with DD and DH. It was dreadful, and I still haven't really forgiven her.

Luckily with DS I saw no-one for 5 days. Just nested. It's what I needed.

So it can have a real impact on your relationship, in my experience.

cupcakes excellent birth control for your DSis.

Sister came about 20 hours later for a quick cuddle for ten 15 mins. When she left MIL came for 5 mins to take DH home (hed been up nearly 30 hours and I'd had a rough ride so he was a wreck) and my mum came and stopped with me for 4 hours until I moved up to the post natal ward

I thought I wouldn't want to see anyone soon after giving birth, as I'm a pretty private person, but when ds arrived I was so proud I wanted to show him to everyone. He was born about 8pm, and I was in hospital for three nights due to needing antibiotics.

On the day after he was born some close friends came to the hospital for 20 mins to say hello, and dh's parent's drove 2hrs each way for a half hour visit (I didn't want to ask them to do that as I thought it was a bit rude to ask them to drive all that way for a short visit, but they leapt in the car at the merest suggestion that they could visit :D).

The day after, my parents, sister, brother and his girlfriend came to see us. They had been at my uncle's wedding the day before, and were driving home down the motorway, literally 10 minutes from us, so I asked them all to stop on the way back.

I loved showing him off to everyone, and it was great in the hospital because I didn't have to offer cups of tea etc, and people tended to just have quick cuddles and give him back because I was attached to a drip/it all looked a bit medical :)

I should say, I didn't plan any of this in advance. You just don't have a clue how you'll feel about visitors until you are there - as I said, I expected to want to hide away, but when it came to it wanted everyone to come and visit, but they were all great about just staying for a short visit.

FIL turned up unannounced, two hours early. Just wanted to ensure he saw the baby before the other grandparents the arsehole

I'd not long been allowed down to the ward after surgery for a third degree tear, and was a total mess. He even sent DH away to the canteen so we could sit in an awkward silence together.

I have never, ever forgiven him. He knew what time we wanted him to arrive. He could have phoned ahead and told us he was leaving early. But no, that sort of behaviour was far too considerate for the nasty old goat.

Let's just say, if he tries to pull a similar trick for DC2 due in May, I'm going to send him away.

I had
DH
Daunt
DM
DSis
DAUNT
DFIL
DSILx2
DSIL's DMIL
DN
Dcousinsx3
DU
DBILx2
Doctors x4 (also friends)
Consultants x2 (from work)
Senior sisters x2 (from work)
Friends x4 (from work)
DH's Dcousins
I was in a private room at the end of the ward and as I was staff no one really bothered stopping anyone. They came in the morning and stayed all day (not everyone just family).
They bought thermos's of tea, food, KFC, etc.
To be fair he was 7th IVF and I do t think I could have stopped anyone if if tried so I just lay there and let everyone tell me how wonderful I was.
The best thing was my father in laws face. It was so expressive to see how overcome with love he was for my son. But he hugged me first and said thank you!

Aw it's nice to read how excited everyone's relatives were on seeing the newborn.
If I could I'd have my parents there ready to spring out. As the time nears I feel like I want my mum! My parents are about 90mins away. ILs about 30mins. ILs are lovely but is it U to think I want my Mum first?
I think when it come to the phone calls I will tell OH the first person called should be my mum?

Bin, local paper, mayors of 2 towns??!! Was your little one born on Christmas Day? Sounds a fab but busy day!!

ChickenMe - completely normal to want your Mum! I did!

I was sure I wouldn't want anyone who wasn't DH. In fact, I ended up calling my mum as I was going into labour asking her to come hold my hand too! I had a relatively easy labour, I just really wanted my mummy

So she stayed, my stepdad and DSis came a few hours after birth, my grandparents and aunties came the day after. I'm really, really close to them so that was lovely. PIL waited til we were at home. They were welcome to come but they aren't keen on hospitals so it was their choice.

We had the rest of the family doing the rounds after that but they were lovely and brought food and treats for DD and didn't expect us to wait on them which was a worry of mine. I'm usually a bit of an introvert but I found I really enjoyed showing off my baby!

Glad it's normal cos until now I was like ..nah..just OH and I. Then the past few days I thought my mum is the first non-OH person who I think I will want to see. Now I'm having a baby I feel like, if I had a daughter giving birth I'd want to be around soon after to be a comfort etc if she wanted. Its not about who sees the baby first, it's more like what you as the mother might find comforting.
I'm under a bit of pressure from MIL who is desperate to be at the hosp and is likely to get there first..so these things can be hard to manage without causing offence!

With my most recent baby I was in for 9 days so had lots of people although only for 5 mins at a time. Day 1-3 just DH. Day 4 - DH, DS's, MIL and FIL and BIL, Day 5 - DH, DS's, FIL and SIL, Day 6-7 - DH and DS's, Day 8 - DH, DS's, FIL and BIL, Day 9 - DH and DS's.

Hi Janus
No not Christmas Day but the evening of Christmas Eve
I was told I couldn't go home on Christmas Day as the staff wouldn't want to do the paperwork until Boxing Day!
The woman who had "the Christmas baby" ( 1st one born after midnight) had a specially decorated crib and her photo taken for local paper.

Had a long birth, two days with forceps, epidural, stitches. Felt sore but obviously elated and we just wanted time just the three of us. MIL visited so DP could go home have a shower/ rest etc.. My parents live too far away and only wanted visitors once home and settled.

Only my husband. My mum turned up while I was in labour! She left to go and get something and while she was gone I text her and asked her (nicely) not to come back because giving birth was not really something I had planned her to be there for. She got all sniffy and didn't come to see us for a week after that :(

oooh I'm interested in this one... already dreading the inevitable "please back off" conversation with the MIL. I love her to pieces but oh, she's intense! :/

DH only. Closest family were 300 miles away, one sister in US, one in Europe and rest down under. My parents came two weeks later for tea. I felt a bit sad at lack of people to admire DD, especially given a long and arduous labour. But moving to a new area when pregnant didn't help.

I quite liked having everyone visit after DC1 and DC2.

Unfortunately we've had a few family losses since DC2, so it looks like only my mum will be visiting for DC3. Makes me quite sad that my in-laws are no longer around to be a part of it. MIL was lovely though, after births she would witter on about how amazing I was. Helped boost my post natal esteem!

I do appreciate that it's not for everyone - especially if the in-laws aren't so lovely.