Who visited you in hospital after birth?

[Stillyummy]

I am pregnant with my first baby and was wondering how soon after the birth did you feel like receiving visitors and who visited you in hospital? This thread is the result of an over enthusiastic mother in law who needs her expectations managed.

By the way, meant to say first visitor -my mum-was when she was about 18 hours old, because that's how visiting hours worked out with being born in the evening. By then I couldn't wait to show her off, but I guess if visiting hours fell in the first 6 or so hours, you would probably want to put them off, unless you were really really close and comfortable with someone!

My Dm came and my XMIL&Fil looking back I did thVe a lot of choice, I had my DD at 9 that morning had a section I was still high as an absolute kite and had visitors thrown on me. I remember I really wanted to see my mum I was emotional and just wanted a hug but never would I have been allowed to refuse the ILs

the day after: my parents and sister and my best friend and her DH (also a good friend)

Two days after: my PILs - they drove two hours, stayed an hour, went home, bless them.

Three days after: my other best friend

The only visitor I objected to was my other MIL who descended on us the day we got back from hospital 6 days after the birth. She was unwelcome and outstayed any welcome we had. She only left after I had a proper hysterical meltdown in the bathroom and DH told her to leave.

Everyone else was thoughtful, welcome and very aware of the traumatic experience I had been through.

In hospital I was visited by DH, our elder child, DH's sister and her husband, my PIL, my parents, three of my siblings and some of their OHs and children, my boss and one of DHs aunts. Not all at the same time, obviously, just one or two at a time. I was glad to see them all - I was in pretty bad shape, and the post natal ward is a special kind of hell, so to have someone else there to reach my glasses to me or get me a glass of water was the only thing that kept me sane. I cried pretty much constantly when I had no visitors because I felt so isolated.

In the labour room -hospital choir singing " Away in a Manger"
On the ward
DH
Mayors of 2 local towns
Father Christmas
Salvation Army who insisted on giving me flannel and soap
Local Newspaper
My sisters and a boyfriend of one of them , my dad
Mil, fil , bil bringing a turkey leg and annoyed when I didn't eat it then and there! ( had already had Christmas lunch)
It was different!

No one not time. Had him .10 at night then out next morning.

My mum was in the delivery room with me and DP.

MIL, FIL and MIL's parents visited the following morning. And sat around the bed staring at me. I was sore, tired and bleeding - gave birth at 11:45pm, stitched for 2 hours then finally got to postnatal at 5am before being woken at 8 for visitors.

mum, dad, brother and sister came up that aafternoon. Let me sleep while they had cuddles :) best friends came that evening.

SIL and BIL finally decided to visit about ten days later at home (saga and a half there)

Im expecting my 'first' (technically he/shes my second) and we're hoping to have all the visits in the first couple of days before the hormone crash! Im quite excited as is family about the birth so its quite helpful hearing others views and timings! :) xx

DH stayed with me throughout the whole 30 hour labour, DD was born around 6, then he went home around 11 as I was still in the delivery suite with DD. He spent almost every possible minute with me which was lovely.

PILs turned up the next morning, shortly followed by my parents & sister & her baby daughter. Quite busy, DH had to negotiate who came in as there was a two visitors at a time policy (excluding partners). It wasn't ideal as I was very tired and in pain and on a blood transfusion and really didn't feel up for chatting.

Most of my friends and family, (and dp's of course) in stages over the day I gave birth (emergency c section at 11.00am). Some couldn't make the day he was born so came the second day, but would have been welcome the day before. I quite missed them all when they went as it was just me on my own with a newborn who slept, took a feed then slept again. My dm was my birth partner, and dp and mil were on standby in the waiting area (dp can't cope with gore). When ds was born, my dm came out to get dp to come meet him, he had a hold and a cry, then brought ds out so mil could have a hold and a cry, then she went home (came back asap) and dp came through with me onto the ward. Then dm went home (and came back that evening, she was exhausted). I loved showing him off, was so proud of him. I still think he was the loveliest baby ever. And I couldn't wait for everyone to meet him. The only people who didn't come to visit were my aunt and dp's grandparents (all ill).

**dp's maternal grandparents. His paternal ones came.

And just remembering it was my mil who taught me how to give ds a bottle, and how to look for bubbles to make sure he was sucking right.

Had baby at 8.20am on Thursday. Home by 2 and my mum bough ds back at 3, mil was there by 5 as she was going on holiday that night but she only stayed for 20 mins.
Next day my dad and step mum, sister, sil, brother and midwife and we also had to go to gp for 24 hr check.....that was way too much in one day I got quite shakey as I didn't eat or drink enough due to constant stream but the nice thing about that is we have been left alone for the few days since.

DD1 - had my parents the day I gave birth, then next day had MIL and DSD together then my parents again with my grandma and brother. It was way too much and very overwhelming.

DD2 - no one. The day after I came out (evening discharge) DH picked up DD1 from my parents and we had a day with just the 4 of us. Next day we had visitors.

Only 1 DC, born 6am on 26th December. Dh was around a lot.

That afternoon, about 2pm, 2 DAunts.

About 4pm, DUncle (the priest!).

(All live in our city, and we'd been in DGPs house with them all for Christmas dinner until 11pm the night before).

Following day:
Shortly before lunch: DMIL and DFIL
Just after lunch: DM, DF, and all 5 DSiblings.

Both sets had travelled from 2.5 hrs away.

1 other DAunt visited that afternoon, as I sent an SOS for small babygrows (she had a 5 month old) - DD spat, pucked and pooed through every single one I had within 30 hours!! (She also lived locally and was at the Christmas dinner).

No one else for the rest of the 4 days I was in hosp.

When we got home, I had a day at home before the annual post-Christmas dinner of my Dad's family including my Dad (his parents and siblings all lived in our city, whereas most of my siblings still lived either at or near home 2.52 hrs away). So that means DPs and siblings coming up and the DGPs (now deceased) and DAunts, DUncles and DCousins all together, roughly 20-25 people depending on who is able to make it (there are other ILs have to be visited too, and some are now living overseas).

And before going to that dinner, we had to call to DMs Sister, who had my DGM visiting too, along with DPs and DSibs.

So that was a LONG evening of "pass the baby".

Then a couple of more days freedom before DPILs came up again (stayed in a hotel for 3 nights).

Another day free, before 3 friends from work called for an evening.

Then another couple of days before I allowed DM to stay for a week (she wanted to, and was some help).

I had a emcs so from labour to being allowed home I was in hospital for 4 days. My son was born on Thursday morning and my in laws and both sil visited. My parents live 80 miles away so came to visit when we were home on the Saturday and my sister visited on the Sunday due to work (she is a nurse) also bil, sil and 2 children came over on Sunday.

I guess seeing lots of people bothers some but I didn't mind we had our privacy in the evenings ect

We had a big BBQ 4 weeks after his birth for friends ect.

It's entirely up to you how many people you have round and be honest there is no point getting worked up over unexpected visitors as it's your health that you should think about. They can see baby when it's right for you. X

I was only in hospital for 3 hours after giving birth so nobody. My mum came to the house after 48 hours (lives 150 miles away and was at work so had to wait til the weekend) and my dad the following day (also lives 150 miles away). Friends started visiting around the same time. IL's live abroad so came after a week and a half I think.

DP was there from morning til night.

My best friend popped in

My parents ....only for a peep

We weren't going to have any visitors but I was in 4 days as had Elcs and felt a bit mean.

my sister, my mum and auntie, and my cousin, her husband and their wee boy. I actually can't remember who was first! We were in for 5 days post-birth though.

I had ds1 at 12.34pm, and my MIL and FIL came to visit at 4pm, and I was fine with that - one of my loveliest memories of MIL is of her holding an hours-old ds1 in the hospital.

With ds2 and ds3, I had home births, but again, I was very happy to have visitors pretty soon afterwards - though they were both born at night, so we didn't have visitors as soon as we had after ds1's birth.

After dd1 - just dh,

after dd2 - dh, my mum and dd2

after ds - dh, my mum, dd1 and 2

Loved your post Bin85
Dd1(was in 6 days-you were then) born late at night .I recommend as you get several hours to recover .Just in time for DH to ring parents and best friend
Friend from ante natal class and her Dh In for an appointment and popped up .Our best man who worked with DH and arrived with an enormous bunch of flowers -biggest I've ever seen .I had to send it home with DH .(Got another from DH work the next day Also huge .Very show biz! But nice .Made up for fact DH arrived for visiting the following day rather worse for wear having celebrated with champagne at work ,with a weedy bunch of daffs)He -the Best Man not the DH-was quite a well known actor so recognised by staff and patients and charmed the Sister who told him off for sitting on my bed .Father of three so didn't stay long bless him ,Did my ward cred no end of good ..Another work colleague of DH ,mother of three who brought goodies like nuts and other roughage rich food .'nought said .
Neighbour and two teenage daughters who'd never been so close to / held a newborn .Totally charmed by her and became babysitters.That was lovely .
Assistant at work with snother big bouquet .No idea what to do with a baby but filled me in on work gossip .It can be quite boring on matenity wards...
my local friends were all v v pregnant or v newly delivered!
DPs and DILs lived long way away so DPs and DB came up a week later (Mum had flu so delayed I was desperate to show off first grandchild for both sides so was upset) . Stayed on to look after me for a week as DH going back to work.I think we took the baby to stay with in laws the following weekend !
DD2 .Also born late at night Dd2 after nursery .She was 3yrs 8m
and a dainty little thing but suddenly looked huge! (The baby was 10 8) For some reason I wept like a tap .Dd2a much wanted second child after two mc
PILs ,who by then lived locally .To be fair had brought flowers etc and hadn't actually expected to be let in .Was happy to see them .Best local friend (herself a MC sufferer ) who gave me the biggest hug ever.Again DPs a week later .
I'd encourage visitors in hospital it's far less effort And it is lovely to show off PFB .At home , don't get dressed and don't do anything for visitors
Good luck .Enjoy .

1st day (12 hours post-cs) my parents came for an hour or so. They came on the 2nd and 4th days too. 3rd day DP's best friend came - DD was in NICU, DP found being at home alone a bit weird so his friend had come to stay with him to cheer him up. 4th day a friend of mine came too.

I was in for 5 days, DD was in NICU for several days so it was a bit different. Plus I was bored DD just slept in NICU and I needed/wanted the company. I mean, I went to NICU all the time but she was asleep and needed very little care from me (tube formula fed) so I actually remember those first few days being very weird.

Even if I have a very trouble free birth next time around I'll still welcome anyone who wants to come to hospital. It's a very personal decision, I know, but I couldn't wait to show her off to everyone, especially her grandparents and other family. Plus as other people have said, it is easier to manage visitors in hospital and you don't feel like you have to look after them!

My DH visited sporadically because he was working hard at the time, a pregnant friend, my brother, my MIL, our au pair, my SIL and my very glamourous, single friend. Who arrived in a fur coat bearing Laduree macaroons and a bottle of champagne in her handbag. She told me all about some random bloke she was shagging, who was apparently so dull the only good thing about him was his huge cock. She's very posh and has a booming voice - I'm not too sure what the other three people in the ward thought.

I went a bit bonkers and told the midwife (jokingly) that my DS) aged about three days) old would be solving the middle east peace crisis with Tony Blair and Kofi Annan before we knew it. She called the psychologist who I hugged!

1st time I had 11 visitors all turned up at the same time taking turns, family, friends etc a couple of hours after c section! Was a nightmare and completely overwhelming for me and ds who didn't feed and wasn't well for a good few days. Total mistake. Second time, just dh, ds1 andPIL as they live far away. My family live close by and we saw them at home when we went home later that day as we were only in overnight. Much more civilised and content mamma and baby. Now pg with dc3 and will make sure I'm just as strict this time if no need to stay in.