Over 35 and pregnant? - "Mature" ladies walk this way...

[Juicylucythe2nd]

Thought I would start a little thread for us over here on the pregnancy side so we can support each other though this

Here are my stats to start us off
Me 39
DH 45
No Kiddies
7+3 weeks (second pg, first ended in missed mc in May)
Due date 29.05.06

piz - and in some areas you don't get the nuchal on the nhs at all, regardless of your age. You do get told to have one, and pointed off in the direction of the nearest private scan operation though.

Am 41 btw, dh is 42, and am expecting #2 on his birthday in March. Not planned like that but it's taken 10 years of trying to get this far

Elliboo - yes 'twas me. Hi again! (waves)
Nice to see you again. That chat we had was my first day on MN !!

Lemon - hope it turns out OK - sounds quitehopeful, try not to worry too much.

it really saddens me to see people so frightened of Down syndrome.

There is an age related chance - having said that - my dd1 with down syndrome was my firstborn - now 4 years and another dd later - I am expecting baby no3 - not worried if I have another child with down syndrome. My chance on paper is 1 in 58. Knew dd1 had down syndrome and a heart defect prior to her being born. Never had a nuchal fold or cvs/amnio with no2. Had nuchal fold with no3 - with no intention of going any further - but dh felt he needed to know. Also because we had learnt since dd2 was born that my dh has a congenital heart condition and my risk of having a child with that is 1 in 50.

As I said earlier - my chance for a number of conditions which can be indicated by a high nuchal fold result started out at 1 in 58. After the nuchal fold screening and blood tests - my chance translated to 1 in 969 - and still a genetic counsellor asked me if to consider if that chance was unacceptable there was other means of testing.

What infuriates me most if there are so many conditions that can be indicated by a thickened nuchal fold - of which down syndrome is just one and compared to some the mildest - and yet that is what medical professionals stress. Makes me very very cross that they are giving this misinformation to pregnant woman instead of all the information and allowing them to make informed decisions about the testing they will undergo.

here this shows other conditions that can be indicated by a thickened nuchal fold.

Eidsvold, I guess because that list is quite long and complicated with little known conditions, just saying Downs syndrome is easier for people and provides the focus for all peoples worries.

I didn't take any tests- too lazy! Do think it can be good to be forewarned if there's a problem of course.

Lemon here's hoping and everyone in the early nerve wrecking stage, I have everything crossed that all the babies will stay firm!

Eids - I didn't have an amnio as because I think the risk of losing a healthy baby is scarier than having a baby with Downs, if that makes sense. I do worry about having a baby with any serious disability TBH, mainly as DH will be 75 when this baby is 10 and I have to work full time and wonder how we'd all cope! But saying that, anything could happen couldn't it? one of us could fall under a bus tomorrow - people often become disabled etc you can't legislate for having perfect happy children. There are many conditions which don't show up on any ante natal tests.

fox, the standard advice, at least in the US, is not to have an amnio unless/until your risk of an abnormality is higher than the risk of miscarriage. In my case, with a high risk specialist, the miscarriage possibility was practically zilch, although it still doesn't keep one from worrying about it. For me, though, the peace of mind afterwards was worth all of the worry beforehand.

I'm having nuchal + bloods.

A friend of mine had this and the results came back as high for abnormalities so she had some further blood tests which had to be done privately and her percentages reduced dramatically. Anyone ever heard of these "extra tests". If need be I will ask her, but we haven't told many people about the pg as waiting for the 12 week results.

Did you know that virtually all PG women in Italy over 35 have amnios. Had to do mega persuasion of my friend (39) not to have one (I won ). I was really shocked!!!

Gosh, fox, you're quite brave. Hope your friend doesn't get any unexpected news.

Her nuchal came back 1:1,3000 or something. She didn't really want an amnio but her DH was bullying her into it a bit.

Hi Fox [waving back] you helped me lots on your first day on MN thanks!

Eids, your post moved me - its good to hear from someone who knows reality as well as worry, IYSWIM. Interesting link, too.

Me, I'd had endless m/cs (immune issues, which weren't diagnosed till I'd had four including one with donor eggs) and was not up for any tests apart from nuchal scan with dd...the pg felt so incredibly fragile to me (though it wasn't, and she isn't!) that I couldn't do it. And would have been ok with whatever came anyway. This time, because of being older and having dd to look after, I was more concerned - but combined nuchal and bloods felt enough. Some hospitals do both automatically (UCH, I think?) these days - some don't.

On a totally frivolous note...when pg with dd, I was so gobsmacked to be finally having a baby after so long that I half expected a puppy or something: when dd emerged, my first words were 'OMG its a BABY!'. Wonder what they'll be this time?!

Hi Fox [waving back] you helped me lots on your first day on MN thanks!

Eids, your post moved me - its good to hear from someone who knows reality as well as worry, IYSWIM. Interesting link, too.

Me, I'd had endless m/cs (immune issues, which weren't diagnosed till I'd had four including one with donor eggs) and was not up for any tests apart from nuchal scan with dd...the pg felt so incredibly fragile to me (though it wasn't, and she isn't!) that I couldn't do it. And would have been ok with whatever came anyway. This time, because of being older and having dd to look after, I was more concerned - but combined nuchal and bloods felt enough. Some hospitals do both automatically (UCH, I think?) these days - some don't.

On a totally frivolous note...when pg with dd, I was so gobsmacked to be finally having a baby after so long that I half expected a puppy or something: when dd emerged, my first words were 'OMG its a BABY!'. Wonder what they'll be this time?!

oops, sorry.

Eli - sorry to hear about all your suffering before you managed to go full term

What was it we talked about on that health thread - I can't remember and its really annoying me (its on the tip of my tongue)?

Um, was it threadworms? (still don't know if dd had them or not, or me for that matter, but better safe than sorry!)

Oh yeah, that rings a bell. Sore red itchy bits? Did they dissappear in the end?

Yes! We've since had one 'mummy my bottom is itching' in the middle of breakfast, so I put some Timodene cream on her that day - and that so far is that.
Have you removed your sox for Halloween?

Have removed the "Fat" . Foxinsox is the sexy fox, I'm the fat one"

Ah, you Foxes....fat, sexy (don't they go together anyway?), sox, bubbles....

Sorry everyone, hijack over, honest.

Unfortunately I have started bleeding heavily , so it looks like back to the starting gate for us!
Good luck to everyone else

Lemons, I'm so sorry....

Lemons how disappointing.
Take it easy and may be the force be with you for the next attempt! Keep us posted!

Lemons - so sorry. How very and disappointing for you.

Take it easy and give yourself lots of rest.

Good luck for the next try xxx

Lemon, that's so sad. I'm so sorry