Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

He are you sorting out money between you and your partner while on maternity leave?

68 replies

pippinleaf · 23/09/2014 19:31

We both work full time at the moment. I earn more than him and we both pay £400 a month into our current account for food, bills etc. I pay 60% of the mortgage and he pays 40% because that's how our earnings are split. I also buy more stuff for the house, like furniture, tools etc. that's more unofficial but I earn more than him so it seems fair.

I'm worried about how I will cope on maternity money for the year I'm taking off. I will be bringing home, when levelled out over the year, about a quarter what I earn now. I don't think he realises how much of my money I spend on stuff that's joint stuff (I treat him to meals out, I have bought all the baby stuff so far and paid for the nct classes etc.)

He are you sorting your money? I don't want us to get joint accounts for a number of reasons unrelated to our relationship.

OP posts:
Original poster
pippinleaf · 23/09/2014 19:32

I hate that there is a typo in the header - it should say 'how'. I'm really sorry!

OP posts:
fanjobiscuits · 23/09/2014 19:33

All into joint account and split

SoonToBeSix · 23/09/2014 19:33

The vast majority of couples with children pool money. I can't see how it would work otherwise.

NovemberRainbow · 23/09/2014 19:35

Sorry, we are going for the joint accounts option. All money's family money. We're going for a joint current account, a joint bills account, a joint savings account and a savings account for baby.

How about your OH splitting whatever he has left as spending money between you? If your keeping everything separate, he still needs to contribute towards baby things.

What are planning on doing about returning to work and childcare costs?

rainbowinmyroom · 23/09/2014 19:36

Please be sure to get some legal protection in place if you are not married.

Viviennemary · 23/09/2014 19:37

This is the trouble with separate money. Your DH will be used to having quite a lot of spending money I should imagine and it will be a big shock for him to have it very much reduced. You need to sit down and talk about this if you haven't before. Separate money can't work if one earns next to nothing and the other earns quite a lot. How can it possibly.

CheerfulYank · 23/09/2014 19:37

We also just throw it all together. Sorry!

I think a friend of mine splits it but when she's on mat leave her husband picks up the slack.

Itscurtainsforyou · 23/09/2014 19:38

How long do you have until maternity leave? I suggest you draw up a budget, including current spends etc with him and try to cut back right now. It needs to be family money rather than "yours" and "his".

With us, I showed him on paper what I got before, what the money went on (bills, mortgage etc) and how much I'd have on smp. We then worked out the shortfall, looked at how much we had in savings and stopped spending or cut back dramatically while I was pregnant (no/less takeaways, coffees out, magazines etc - it can help to keep a spending diary if you can work out where the money is going).

Congratulations by the way Smile

bakingtins · 23/09/2014 19:44

All money is family money here too, sorry. When we're both working we can save and have equal 'pocket money' when I'm on mat leave we cover the bills. Even if you go back full time you'll have childcare as a substantial added cost, so you will have to renegotiate.

meringue33 · 23/09/2014 19:46

We set up a joint account and we both pay into it 60% of our salary. This covers mortgage, bills, groceries, petrol, days out etc. We still have our own accounts to spend on our own hobbies, clothes, socialising etc

When I was on mat leave my salary obviously dipped so DP (now DH) put a lot more in to the joint account to make sure we were covered.

We also made wills and investigated life insurance etc

A relationship with kids is a whole different ball game to what has gone before!

SevenZarkSeven · 23/09/2014 19:46

We threw it all in together.

If you don't sort it out now you could end up in trouble when your income drops off, if he digs his heels in (seen it on here so many times, sadly) and also so he has an idea that things are going to change.

If you don't want joint account I would say, work out what all the outgoings are including food all bills transport entertainment roughly and that all goes into a joint pot and however much is left over is split evenly between you for spending.

Obviously when you go back to work you won't be able to switch back Grin but you'll have a kid and be a family, obv you should have everything covered for the family from a pot and anything left over gets split.

You need to discuss it with him now and get something sorted out.

meringue33 · 23/09/2014 19:47

Oh yeah, nursery bills come out of the joint account too, as childcare is a joint responsibility!

C0smos · 23/09/2014 19:49

We only have a joint account so to be honest nothing changed when I was on maternity, although we both tried to reign in discretionary spending a bit

Phineyj · 23/09/2014 19:51

You are right to think about it now. I got tripped up by this - turned out DH had no idea how much I spent on joint things. It has taken a year to get over the arguments although we (I) sorted it out fairly eventually Sad. A year off may not be a great idea if you do end up short of cash but hopefully you can get your OH to plan with you.

porkypine · 23/09/2014 19:54

Nothing has changed - we have 1 account between us, so both our salaries go in it, everything comes out of there, and I keep an eye on the balance to make sure we're still in the black.
I don't understand the 'my money / their money' way of thinking, regardless of whether people have children or not, if you're in a committed relationship.

purplemeggie · 23/09/2014 20:02

We've always had our own accounts, but when we bought our first home together we opened a joint account and we both pay in a set amount per month for bills. When I was on maternity leave, my share went down and dh's went up.

Although you won't be making money while you're on maternity leave, you will be making a whole person. Far more of an achievement. Congratulations!

morethanpotatoprints · 23/09/2014 20:02

We always keep/kept all income and outgoings together in a joint account, then if we needed money just took it out. If independence in the form of a bank account in your own name is important then open one and put some of the money from the joint account into your own, it isn't difficult.

Why do so many people complicate it Sad

Artandco · 23/09/2014 20:07

Joint main account. Then worked out how much on average we spent each month from joint account and rounded up. The rest 1/3 into joint savings, 1/3 into each private account.

Means day to day is covered but also have own money we dont have to discuss whether to spend or not.

woodwaj · 23/09/2014 20:09

We have our own banks for spends and a DD to the joint like you. We have jointly saved for a full years maternity cover for the bills and we will pool what's left. Im trying to buy bits of things every payday wipes different size nappies etc to make it easier next year!

skyeskyeskye · 23/09/2014 20:09

if you have been paying in more while earning more, then surely he should pay in more when he is earning more?

we had joint finances for everything once we bought a house together and had DD. apart from savings, which were eventually all in my name as XH was crap with money.

Original poster
pippinleaf · 23/09/2014 20:10

Just to reply to a few people - we are married and we do have a joint account. And if course we will both be paying for child care etc. that will come out of our joint money.

We also have our own accounts. Sounds like a good idea might be for me to pay less and him to pay more into joint account. I feel rotten about suggesting this as currently I we pay the same into it even though I earn more.

OP posts:
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 23/09/2014 20:14

We have a completely joint account, and I earn more than dh (but only a couple of hundred each month). We simply spend what we want (with any personal spends over £50 are mentioned to the other). We are relatively low income however we arent big spenders.

When I was on Mat Leave last time and this time too, we will simply continue to put all our money together - we just both know we will have less expendable income, so fewer takeaways, less on one another at Christmas than we would usually spend, and we wont use the car anywhere near asmuch (I only actually need it for my work commute).

I also spend a lot less on food on mat Leave as ive time to shop around and go to the grocers etc.

But the over riding factor which makes it easy is that we share every penny anyways.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 23/09/2014 20:14

Why do you feel rotten? You are having his baby.

Surely you've had a discussion previously about the fact that your income will be down for the year and made sure that he can cover the cost of running the household alone?

Original poster
pippinleaf · 23/09/2014 20:19

I just think that to make it fair we should have been paying a % of our income into the joint account all along not just when I'm on maternity leave. That's why I'm saying I feel rotten about asking now.

I hate talking about money as I was brought up that doing do was rude however we have worked out how we can afford for me to have the year off. What we haven't done is had a sit down talk about exactly who pays what into where.

Silly things are in my mind - such as if I go to a mother/baby class - should that be shared money as it's his baby too or my money since I'll be the one enjoying it while he's working?

It doesn't help that I am unsure exactly how much I will have after tax/ pension comes out. I'm a teacher - does anyone know how I can find that out?

Once I have that figure it will be easier to work out properly.

OP posts:
Original poster
pippinleaf · 23/09/2014 20:20

And he won't be covering the cost of the household alone. I will still have some money and a proportion of that will go towards the household.

OP posts: