He are you sorting out money between you and your partner while on maternity leave?

[pippinleaf]

We both work full time at the moment. I earn more than him and we both pay £400 a month into our current account for food, bills etc. I pay 60% of the mortgage and he pays 40% because that's how our earnings are split. I also buy more stuff for the house, like furniture, tools etc. that's more unofficial but I earn more than him so it seems fair.

I'm worried about how I will cope on maternity money for the year I'm taking off. I will be bringing home, when levelled out over the year, about a quarter what I earn now. I don't think he realises how much of my money I spend on stuff that's joint stuff (I treat him to meals out, I have bought all the baby stuff so far and paid for the nct classes etc.)

He are you sorting your money? I don't want us to get joint accounts for a number of reasons unrelated to our relationship.

All money goes into joint pot.

From that everything joint (bills, mortgage, food, savings, pets, car, holidays, Christmas) is paid for, when there is spare we get equal 'pocket money' for individual spends (haircuts, clothes, video games, gifts for each other etc).

This was the case when I was the higher earner by a considerable sum, is the case now while I'm on mat leave, and will be the case when I'm a sahm.

If I were to tally it up I would say I've put more in over the years. One year of being a sahm will put paid to that.

Sorry to gatecrash the post, but would love some advice too.
I just started a new job, so I won't qualify for maternity pay or SMP, so I'll have no income for 6-12mths. I don't have savings, it's all in my flat, my bf and we don't have any joint savings as we've only been together for 8 mths.

He said he'd support me fully financially, as someone used to financial independence, would it be cheeky of me to tell him how much I need per month & have this deposited monthly?

I was talking to a friend and she said that sometimes she had to get her hubby to deposit cash so that she can go out for lunch & that doesn't sound ideal. Of course I realise that I'll have to rein in expenditure but I also don't want to feel like I'm at the mercy of someone for every penny..

Thanks!!

I find this thread quite depressing. All of our money is joint - obviously that's not for everyone but it does save a lot of admin hassles.

If you don't want to pool finances, I don't think it's "cheeky" at all to agree to a set level of contribution while you're at home caring for a young baby. It's bloody hard work and if you weren't doing it you'd be paying a considerable amount for a third party to come to your house and provide your child with one on one care.

I'm going on mat leave with our first child in 5 weeks and I certainly don't feel guilty that I'll be at home and DH will be at work ... If anything I'd rather the roles were reversed! That way I could avoid 9 months of pregnancy, career disruptions etc etc...

I have no idea why anyone on maternity leave would feel they have to contribute the same as before. Thats bananas!

IMO, everything should be proportional to current income. Mortgage, bills, child costs, all of it.

So you work out how much less per month than him you'll get, and you divvy up your contributions accordingly. 60/40 (or even 70/30) for mortgage, and the same for bills.

We have two joint accounts, mortgage/savings and bills/sundries. And we have standing orders that are proportional to current income. I am on Mat leave at the moment so my contribution went down literally overnight.

But we keep our own current accounts so we have "pin money". However the only thing we spend our current account money on is clothes and Amazon. If we go out to dinner/the pub it comes out of the bills/sundries account as its not an individual treat, but a "family" one. We rarely have that much in our current accounts for that reason.

One thing that strikes me as unusual though is that you appear to have seperate savings. So you are worried about dipping into your savings to make up your bit whereas he would not have to.

In our situation our savings have been joint since we got married - we pooled them. So if there was any shortfall after we divided up what we could individually afford, it would come out of the mutual savings pot. No resentment.

This may be part of what is complicating your situation. You feel you have no right to his money.

We have completely joint finances, all money goes into joint bills account then money is transferred to joint spending and joint savings. When I was pregnant we saved around £500 a month to pay for the shortfall when I would be on mat leave.

I'm also a teacher. I didn't notice much of a difference until after 6 months as you get 1/2 pay plus SMP, this was enough to pay our bills, we just couldn't save. After 6 months we started using the savings we had accrued. You will still have to pay tax, NI and pension on your pay, but I can't remember how much I ended up with. I think it was just under £500 a month.

Hi we are similar to you we don't have a joint account. We decided he would pay the rent & I will pay bills and food it works out as almost even we both have savings to top up what we are missing each month from my wage. But I do have to juggle about 12 dd on smp where he only has a few.

My view - you both pay all of your money into a joint account, and then each person gets a sum (ours is about £200 each) back into their own personal account to do with as they wish.

Joint account pays for everything we do as a couple / family / general expenses. Holidays, furniture, meals out, tools, DIY, petrol, food, nursery / childcare costs / everything to do with the children / savings (if there is anything left over). I've made sacrifices income wise (i.e. working part time) but that was a decision we took as a family. I shouldn't therefore get less disposable income (for me) than he does simply because I'm the one that works part time.

The £200 pays for personal "luxuries" - my coffees / our phones / his books / haircuts & make up (me!) / socialising with my friends / girly weekend away etc.

We have a joint account and each have our own personal accounts (our wages are paid into these). DH earns more than me but we both keep the same amount each month for personal use (roughly £300, sometimes more/sometimes less) and everything else gets chucked into either the joint account or savings.

Whilst on maternity DH ensured there was enough being transferred into the joint account to cover mortgage/bills.

Or pretty much what Mandy says above!

One Joint Account - both the wages go into there, and all the bills come out of there (including a small amount each week into the Offset Savings linked to the Mortgage). We both spend as we need to on normal weekly things (extra food for work, travel, etc.), and anything out of the ordinary we just let the other know as a matter of courtesy (Not asking permission - DH will inform me just as I inform him). Anything we get as individual gifts at Christmas/Birthdays (although I suspect that'll be much reduced once Baby arrives...) is kept separate. DH brings home considerably more than me but we're both happy with the situation.

Me and dp have a bizarre system but it works for us, I'm a SAHM
We have a joint account, and each have our own accounts. Money into dps account from his wages, he puts enough into joint account to cover rent and bills, gives me £300 to run the house/ kids/ food/ me for the month, he gets £50 pm to spend on what he wants (normally takeaways for us both!) and everything else goes into savings (although we are hardcore saving for a mortgage!)

We do the same as you OP - split bills and mortgage by % earned and put that money into the joint account each month.

We both saved like crazy before my maternity leave started and when I was on leave we used those saving and my DH made up the rest. He also transferred me money so I'd have the same spending money as him.

Now I'm back at work we work it out so we're both left with equal spending money for the month and keep the child benefit solely for DS's clothes, nappies etc so it doesn't get lost in the general household money.

Instead of paying a % of your incomes into the joint account could you agree a fixed amount you each get to keep in your individual accounts and the rest gets pooled to pay for joint expenses?

When we got married we debated about whether to get one account and combine income, or have three separate accounts, his, mine and a joint one. I didn't want to have to justify every penny I spent, and he didn't want to have to manage three accounts. We ended up having one joint account, but individual credit cards for personal spending (which we pay off each month). Provided the credit card bills aren't excessive we don't question what the other person has purchased.

Speak to your payroll department, my payroll department have agreed to give me a breakdown of pay for the year.

You say he'd like to take some time off himself. You know he can do this right - if you go back within the year, he can take the rest of the year as additional paternity leave?

Why not do that? That way you are back earning a bit sooner and he will have a chance to see things from the non earner's perspective too. (Also IMO it makes it much more likely that you'll split child and house duties more evenly once you're both back working). Also you'll be better off as a family if he is the lower earner (unless you get a full year's pay but I doubt that).

If you're insisting on taking the whole year yourself and not allowing him to have any of that time even though he wants to - well let's put it this way, if I was your DH I'd be a bit pissed off!

All out earnings are in one big pot too, but we do go a long way around doing it!

We both have our own bank accounts and get paid the same amount (roughly) each month. 50% of bills come out of DHs mid month after his wage and the other 50% come out of my wage at the start of the month. Whatever is left over after bills we use for food, luxuries, savings etc... It would be far simpler to get a joint account bit this works for us.

When I'm on mat leave the pot will just get a bit (a lot!) smaller. Bills will be covered as usual but extra cash will be significantly slashed which were hoping savings will help out with.

DP and I are not married, but we've been together for 28 years, have two grown-up children.
We have always had a joint account. I went back to work when DD was born - full time for a year, then part-time. Gave up work completely when DS was born. BUT - we always had a joint account. All monies go into a central pot, and we always viewed it as we are both doing our bit for our children and for each other. And this is the way it should be. As a Mum, whether married or not, you should not feel guilty for any "pennies" thrown your way. That is just demeaning.

You are doing a most important job (probably the most important in the entire world). And you should not feel (or be made to feel) guilty about your financial entitlement. You are one half of a partnership, with both of you raising a child (or children)