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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

OH SH*T............................

280 replies

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2006 15:12

I'm 99.99% certain that there's a very faint positive line on the pg test I've just done. It is very faint, but compared to one I did the other day I'm sure there's a line there. And it is still a couple of day until AF is due.

Need to go to the chemist and get another one just to make absolute certain but I'm not feeling very optimistic that it's going to show a negative.

SHT SHT SH*T

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Original poster
HRHQueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2006 23:18

I know misdee that's the otherside of the equation. IT doesn't help that he's sat downstairs laughing away at Friday Night with Jonathon Ross seemingly oblivious to what I'm going through........

And I'm too flipping teary tonight to try and talk to him tonight, it'll just end up with tears and an argument.

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CarlyP · 22/09/2006 23:19

i fell preg in dec. dh was not happy. didnt suggest abortion. but i dont think hed have disagreed if id said i wanted one. i didnt. sadly i had a m/c in march. dh was upset. felt v guilty. my edd was tomrrow. dont let this rip you and you family apart. you will cope with 3. let it sink in and talk to your dh in a day or so.

good luck qoq.

cx

misdee · 22/09/2006 23:19

sleep on it. hopefully sleeping will clear yours and his head a little bit.

Original poster
HRHQueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2006 23:21

I just scared that if I don't terminate, and our relationship fails I'd be a single mum to 3, rather a possible breakup after a termination where I'd be a single mum to just 2 - where one of those is already at school and the other starts nursery next September.

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Original poster
HRHQueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2006 23:22

btw - sorry to keep dragging this thread up - just need to get my thoughts out my head...

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CarlyP · 22/09/2006 23:24

if you think it would come to that then you have to make a decision on that. however if your relationships that bad now, you could end up splitting over having an abortion. think carefully.

cx

misdee · 22/09/2006 23:24

i know you do.

single mum of 3 isnt much different to single mum of 2. done both in effect. dd3 just seemed to fit in perfectly. i cant imagine life without her.

Socci · 22/09/2006 23:24

Message withdrawn

Aero · 22/09/2006 23:27

O M G!! I don't know what to say (and forgive me - I've had too much red wine tonight and have a horrible cold, so not feeling the best)!!

On one hand I want to feel really delighted for you (and I am as I think it's what you want deep down), and on the other hand, I want to sympathise.

I felt like this when I fell pg with ds2. Sadly for you, your dh didn't react in the way that mine did (which came as such a relief to me at the time and now I can't imagine life without ds2). I hope and pray that this was a knee jerk reaction and that you guys can work this out. I soooooooo want to be happy for you. Sht! Wish I wasn't pssed now!!

Blu · 22/09/2006 23:28

QoQ - I really apologise for my flippant optimistic response lower down.
I suppose I felt I did know about your views on termination, and thought / hoped that that shared belief and committment between you and your DH would see you through. Really sorry it is now so very hard.
In one way, maybe your DH is trying in his way to protect the family you have together (which means it is important to him)....hopefully time talking may help him understand that by working together you can make a happy fmaily however many children you have.
Likewise, despite your beliefs, you are so conscious that you want to keep your dh - you BOTH have a will to make it work between you - I hope and hope that you can find the way to make it work.
XXXX

Original poster
HRHQueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2006 23:30

Socci - I don't think he'd leave me per se. But as DH said on the phone to me earlier "all we've done since we got married is made babies" (had to smile at that - well he shouldn't be so damned accurate then should he) and that we've never really had a chance to 'build' our relationship. We've had some seriously rocky moments, the last one being just last Saturday when instead of DS1 having a fabulous birthday, and mummy having a sleep in the morning (was working the night before) and having lots of fun with in the afternoon. Instead I ended up over at the vicars house (just across the road!), leaving boys in floods of tears after we had an enormous row.

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fairyfly · 22/09/2006 23:33

Have some trust in life, it is a journey and can all work out incredibly well.

I think with pregnancy it always does, things click inot place, even your worst scenario is a blessing in disguise.

NomDePlume · 22/09/2006 23:33

Oh QoQ -

Original poster
HRHQueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2006 23:36

Aero - no need to apologise over the drunken comments.......tbh if it wasn't for the fact I know now I'm pg I'd be on the whisky right now - I certainly need it atm.

Blu - thankyou for that - even if it did make me burst into tears again . It makes a lot of sense what you said - I just hope I can make him see that too.

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Socci · 22/09/2006 23:37

Message withdrawn

NomDePlume · 22/09/2006 23:38

V true Socci. We've got 3 and it isn't easy.

Original poster
HRHQueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2006 23:40

also you see we had DS1 just 10 months after marrying - and we'd only been together just over a year before that. So we didn't really have a lot of time to 'build' our relationship before children came along.

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NomDePlume · 22/09/2006 23:43

DH and I had been together 7 months, living together for 4 months when we caught with DD (planned), so I know what you mean. x

SpaceCadet · 22/09/2006 23:57

QOQ, ive only just seen this thread.
you are still trying to take in what has happened and so is your dh, he sees a problem and how it can be fixed, end of story hes not really thinking about it properly.
you obviously want this baby, the fact that you already feel so protective means that if you went ahead with a termination merely to appease your dh, the resentment you would build up inside you would surely destroy your relationship anyway.
if you do decide to terminate, do it because its what you want, not what he wants.

Original poster
HRHQueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2006 23:59

TBH I think DH has already taken it in and has now just assumed it's been sorted as "apparently" I'll be making an appointment on Monday morning to arrange an abortion.

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Aero · 22/09/2006 23:59

Agree too with socci - three isn't easy at all, but now, because we have three, we are trying to make a concerted effort to spend some time together alone, which has been very difficult to arrange in the past. Having a third child has made us realize how much we haven't done that before, so we have enlisted the help of good friend's dd and now MIL too for babysitting to enable us to spend this time together just being a couple and working on our relationship.

Feel free to email me - think you have my details (or I have yours). I'm really sorry you're feeling like this atm. In my heart right now though, I feel this will be ok, somehow. I just pray this feeling is a true one and not just the red wine. Will be thinking of you tonight.

CarlyP · 23/09/2006 00:00

then go and talk to him FGS. sitting on here isnt going to help him realise you need help with this. men dont think about it like women.

Original poster
HRHQueenOfQuotes · 23/09/2006 00:02

CarlyP - I can't talk to him tonight - when I'm teary and emotional like I am now 'discussions' usually end up as arguments with absolutely nothing being resolved. I'm also not good at putting into spoken words what I want to say.......hence the reason we often end up bickering as what I'm trying to say comes out all wrong and he gets the wrong end of the stick. I need some time (or at least a sleep!) to try and sort out stuff in my head.

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Aero · 23/09/2006 00:04

QoQ - you won't be making this appt on Monday. I think dh will come to his senses - I really do, and even if he doesn't, I believe you are strong and you will do what is right for you. You are in my heart and my prayers.

CarlyP · 23/09/2006 00:04

print this thread........or write a letter to him confirming your beliefs, hopes and fears.

let him know now so he has time to sleep on it aswell.