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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

OH SH*T............................

280 replies

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2006 15:12

I'm 99.99% certain that there's a very faint positive line on the pg test I've just done. It is very faint, but compared to one I did the other day I'm sure there's a line there. And it is still a couple of day until AF is due.

Need to go to the chemist and get another one just to make absolute certain but I'm not feeling very optimistic that it's going to show a negative.

SHT SHT SH*T

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2006 21:17

oh so glad it was a stuff up (well not glad it was a stuff up - but you know what I mean) and that you're not high risk after all.

OP posts:

Frizbe · 22/09/2006 21:17

Sorry to hear your going through this, I'm wishing you every success in talking this through together and making the right decision for the both of you {{{Hugs}}}

Original poster

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2006 21:22

he's home..........

OP posts:

nearlythree · 22/09/2006 21:23

QoQ, first of all I'm praying for how things will be when your dh gets home.

There is an organisation called CARE which is Christian and offers counselling to both partners when a termination is being considered, as well as post-termination support. Try a google for their website.

I think you have to consider your mental health here. Whilst most women who have terminations because they know it to be right for them are okay afterwards, women who go ahead when they are unsure are far more likely to suffer from depression and attempt suicide. You have small children who need their mum.

I am with those who say you will work this out. But if you and your dh don't work this out then your boys' lives will not have been ruined. You will have stayed true to your principle, which is the best example you can set.

I am sure your dh is a good man, but if he cannot face up to his responsibilities then maybe he is not the man you thought he was.

Dh and I aren't exactly finding things great at the moment, but two of our three have been unplanned (including 4 mo ds) and we keep plugging on. I am sure your dh will too, although it may take time.

Praying hard for you. xxx

Quootiepie · 22/09/2006 21:27

nearlythree - do you mean careconfidential? Im getting post abortion councilling through them...

madmarchhare · 22/09/2006 21:30

QOQ, I found myself in a simillar position not so long ago. Long story short, I ended up having an m/c. Point being, I know how you are feeling right now and you do have a challenging few days ahead until things have really sunk in and you have both had time to come to terms with what is happening. I hope the decisions you make are right for you and your family. Look after yourself.

Nemo1977 · 22/09/2006 21:37

QoQ hugs to you at this hard time. I am sure your dh is probaly just panicking..mine did when we found out we were having DB so quickly after DD [she was 4 mths when fouind out]and we had discussed it before we found out nevermind if it had been a complete shock to him. I hope your dh is supportive and that you dont rush into anything you will regret.

sweetkitty · 22/09/2006 21:38

aww QoQ don't know what to say except to send you some virtual strength and hugs, I hope you and your DH come to a decision that is the right one for both of you

thinking of you x

nearlythree · 22/09/2006 21:38

Could be, Qootiepie, it's been a while since I was in touch with them (thought about being a counsellor). Hope you're doing okay, sweetheart.

Original poster

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2006 21:46

Oh gosh he's just been talking about his day as if nothing out of the ordinary has happened. I clammed up and all I could say was "had other things on my mind as you know".....his response???

"you're going to call on Monday then". I just mumbled something - don't know what.

I think I may need to wait until tomorrow to try and explain to him how I feel.......

OP posts:

nearlythree · 22/09/2006 21:51

Oh, sweetheart, how tough for you.

Original poster

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2006 22:04

oh and you call me stupid and selfish - but I'm still smoking at the moment. Once I get my head round it all, hopefully in a few days I'll stop but right now I need those nicotine fixes........which makes me feel really selfish as there's a baby I'm desperate to keep growing inside me which I know about and smoking

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sweetkitty · 22/09/2006 22:11

Don't beat yourself up about the smoking QoQ you don't need the stress of nicotine withdrawal on top of everything else.

I think you need to sit down and explain it all to him honey and take it from there.

nearlythree · 22/09/2006 22:12

QoQ, you've just answered any questions in that post, haven't you? 'Baby I'm desperate to keep'. Nothing else to say, is there?

Hang on in there.

Socci · 22/09/2006 22:13

Message withdrawn

misdee · 22/09/2006 22:14

keep going QoQ, i smoked on and off with dd3, felt awful about it, but only really gave up properly last month when some pressure was gone.

you have said it ' a baby i am desperate to keep', maybe give him a few days. dont do anything in haste.

Alibaldi · 22/09/2006 22:15

Just didn't want to read this without saying how very sorry I am that you're having such a hard time. I am always on late at night your time if you ever need to talk.

Original poster

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2006 22:15

I know socci - but I always don't want to lose DH. I don't know if the strain of another baby on our already bumpy relationship would be too much

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nearlythree · 22/09/2006 22:19

This will sound a bit sad but I love watching The House of Tiny Tearaways and there have been several families on there where the dad has demanded a termination (even booked it up) and the mum has refused, and afterwards he's come round and can't believe he could have been so selfish.

I agree with some earlier posts that if you go ahead against your better judgement you will never be able to forgive him and your relationship will be the worse for it.

Suppose you go ahead with the termination and you break up anyway?

SoupDragon · 22/09/2006 22:22

But the strain of a termination you don't agree with would also put a huge strain on your marriage.

MoreTeaAnyone · 22/09/2006 22:50

You've said it yourself, "there's a baby I'm desperate to keep growing inside me ". Don't do anything that will make you not want to life with yourself.

Praying for you (and baby) and your dh.

JennyLee · 22/09/2006 22:54

It is your body don't let anyone tell you what to do with it and it is obvious you want this baby from your post .hope you are okay

CarlyP · 22/09/2006 23:04

Good luck with everything QoQ. Wish it was me preg. (beens terilised) hope you and dh work it out.

Original poster

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 22/09/2006 23:11

thing is I don't know if it's worth risking our marriage, and the happiness of stability of the DS's by going through with this pg. My parents bickered constantly (still do!) when I was growing up and it wasn't nice - but they're still together. My FIL has been married and divorced 3 times - so DH has been through the traume of his parents being apart from when he was really young. And he hated that too....

OP posts:

misdee · 22/09/2006 23:16

but would having an abortion tear you both apart anyway?

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