OH SH*T............................

[HRHQueenOfQuotes]

I'm 99.99% certain that there's a very faint positive line on the pg test I've just done. It is very faint, but compared to one I did the other day I'm sure there's a line there. And it is still a couple of day until AF is due.

Need to go to the chemist and get another one just to make absolute certain but I'm not feeling very optimistic that it's going to show a negative.

SHT SHT SH*T

Still thinking of you.

I do wish DH would hurry up and just say he's happy, then I could think about something else

Seriously, sweet - hope he sees sense quickly. He will have three children in fewer than nine months, so he has time to get his head round it

The letter is great; really clear. I made me feel very for you all. But I hope DH reads it and undersatnds exactly how you feel about this.

well I spoke to my vicar about it this morning. She was as shocked as I was at DH's reaction, but talking to her confirmed to me that I have to stand by my principles on this one - and not go through with a termination. Also talked to a friend at church who had an unplanned 3rd one - she was advised an abortion as she'd been diagnosed with skin cancer, after all the councelling about it, on the day of the termination she realised she couldn't go through with it no matter what happened - she's now got a healthy 5yr old boy, and is clear of skin cancer.

QofQ, just one thing, you need to be careful that DH doesn't become aware, somehow, that you have been discussing this with others.. at least other than your mum or best mate or whatever. If he's anything like my DH, that would go down like a lead pair of knickers and make the whole situation a dozen times worse (altho you are of course perfectly entitled to get support from where you choose - just don't let him know!)

Hi QoQ - I know we rarely see eye to eye on anything - but I really do sympathise, I read your thread about your dh's big dilemma, and this must be a real shock for you both. I think you should stick to your guns and do what feels right for you. It's too important - it's the sort of decision that will mark the rest of your life if you go against your principles. Hopefully your dh will calm down and take a more balanced view when he has had a chance to get used to the idea - he must be completely floored. (am greensleeves btw)

Well he's back - haven't had a chance to talk yet - but I'm already 'in trouble'.......I haven't bought the stuff for party bags (gawd I hate the things...) which insists they "have" to have [frown].

Don't know if he's read the letter or not, he's dashed out to Sainsbury to get the cake - having one of those you can have a picture put onto - DS1 has chosen one of the holiday ones of an elephant!!

He's dumped all his stuff on the table when he came in, but I can't see the letter in amongst it all - hope he hasn't read it and thrown it away

Hi HRHQOQ can't say anything that hasn't already been said but thinking of you and sending you [hugs]

QoQ, I'm just wondering whether you have a male vicar or minister who your dh might be able to talk to himself? I would guess that in his heart of hearts your dh doesn't really want you to have a termination but is just feeling trapped and worried about how you will manage. Maybe if he had a third party who could give him some support it might help him come to terms with it?

well - while the DS's were tearing round with their friends at DS1's birthday party I asked DH if he'd read the letter - stressing that I didn't expect to dicuss it there and then......there was a pause and then he said in a very 'dry' voice "yes"......so now I guess I just have to wait until he's ready to talk about it.

We're talking 'normally' otherwise - so that's a relief.

ohhhhh hon, thinking of you, xxx

Message withdrawn

Sorry if this has been raised before but I am pretty new to mumsnet! I am 20 weeks pg and noticed today that breast are started to leak a little . Phoned midwife who said not to worry. But now my mind is in overload and wondering if this is normal. Has anyone else experienced this?

Just realised I have jumped into this conversation - sorry! Need to learn how to use this website properly. Also thinking of you! Sorry to bring my own problems.... - was not the intention!

QoQ,

I found out about DS during a terrible time in my marriage. We were thinking about a termination, but I couldn't do it. We thought that a baby would ruin our lives. In reality he has been a gift to our relationship. Your dh may or may not come around. If he does you two have something to plan together and work towards together. If he doesn't come around, at least you have something wonderful to look forward to in the future. These things always work themselves out, even if we don't see it now. Before Ds we had no house, no job, no baby stuff, 1 week before he was born we closed on our house and got a nursey full of things from family and friends. We were worried we couldn't make it work, but it did.

Remember, God never gives us more than we can handle. You will get through this and it will work itself out.

Chocalholic1, can I suggest you start another more specific thread for your query by using "Clickhere_ to start a new conversation in the Pregnancy section" just above. You may get more direct response that way.

QofQ - I've only just seen this and have only skimmed it, but I hope your dh gets his head round it and you can start to be happy about this pregnancy - I really hope it all works out for you. Really feel for you...

QofQ a close member of my family got pregnant v. young (only 16) and it was not well received at the time. Thankfully too late to do anthing (6 months before the "announcement" was made). Now she has healthy ds who is light of family life. Her and DP had nowhere to live, no jobs no money but in the end everything came together. They have never looked back.

Lizs - thanks!!!!

thankyou - I have to confess I'm still smoking - not as many though - I'm not really enjoying it now though - it's more to keep my stress levels down until I've spoken to DH properly. 99.99% certain that once I know what on earth is going to happen between us re this pregnancy (which is going to happen regardless of what he says.........) I'll be able to stop pretty easily - not doing the same for me as it was a few days ago - and hopefully this time round I'll quit for good.

thanks choc - and don't worry about putting it on the wrong thread - think it's happened to us all at some time or other - even us oldies

QOQ hope you and your dh make the decision thats right for you. I'm sure mner's will support you 100% whatever the outcome.

QOQ I meant to write before but DD did not allow me to.
congratulations.

do not worry about smoking. You will stop.
when I found out I was p, and I knew it!, I cried and cried. it did not come as a surprise as we both talked about it and wanted it and did do 'things' in a way that it couldn't have been otherwise. but hoped it wouldn't happen so soon.
ready for the ... DH and I had been together at that point ... 4, I say 4, WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!

yes we were very in love, it was meant to be, we still are etc etc. But still. I was terrified. i did not want the responsibility so soon and I wanted to enjoy my DB more.

so while he was as happy as a lark I sat there crying my eyes out. I then asked him to take me home as I needed to be by myself. He did without a question although I could see he was hurt and worried I did not want it.

by the morning I did calm down and part of me was happy. another half wasn't though. I was even upset with him for being so nice and protective as I felt this baby was stealing his love away, IYSWIM.

I would not have considered a term as I was only 50% unsure and I already had one (I was 100% then though).

I stayed with this half and half feeling all through my pregnancy, and hurts to admit it now , and maybe even through the very first months.

Now DD is 1.3 and the thoughts of her not being here makes tears in my eyes right now.

also, never do a termination unless you're 100%. it will destroy you and your relationship.

lots of hugs
xxx

sorry of long.

I wanted to change name but why??

oh and I smoked so many that night you won't believe.

stopped throughout though, only to start again a week after DD was out.

QoQ just read your letter

You are amazing

You are going to be an amazing mummy of 3

And you are an amazing wife too

I am thinking of you and your DH and hope things can be resolved soon

Love MP xxx

qoq just found this .
cannot offer you advise but can also not say i am sorry for you. because i am not. i am pleased!!! i so hope your dh comes round to the idea - these accidents happen to the best of us i was faced with a similar situation and i made my mind up to keep the baby regardless. as it was- things worked out but i put the baby before dp!! Congratulations !

ooppss. Missed the congratulations bit as well . Pregnancy brain at this end .