Shiny and new posifrickintivity thread for pregnancy after miscarriage.

[MrsGiraffe12]

Hand holding, fish slapping and general bat shit craziness :-)

g&t how old is DD and how far along are you? (Baby brain I'm afraid)

My DS is 6 and we planned on telling him after the 12 week scan because we told him I was pregnant as soon as I got a
BFP last year and he was heartbroken when I miscarried.
But one day he saw me getting out the shower (around 10-11 weeks) and he asked if I was growing a baby as my tummy was getting bigger. I "ignored" him but whenever him and DH were tucked up for our night time story he asked again and my and DH told him, but warned him I hadn't had the scan yet so didn't know if it was alive.

They day of the 12 week scan he came running out of school asking if the baby was alive this time (queue questions from other mums in the next few days) and when we said yes he cried he was so happy.

It's tough to know how and when to tell kids but most are very matter of fact and don't ask any more than they can process / understand x

My DD is 3 and I'm 12 weeks. I'd like to wait a little bit before telling her because last time she really suffered with it all and wasn't really old enough to understand where the baby had gone and why everyone was sad . She actually said to me a few weeks after mmc "I don't like tiny babies" I asked her why and she said "Because they don't come to our house and then everyone is sad" - gulp.

The problem is that we need to tell people (my DH works in the Church, and I'm huge) so we want her to know first before someone puts their foot in it - and they will!!

missmakesstuff I am sorry.

babytinx11 I am sorry. If your mother in law comes then it gives you flexibility. Will you mind if she is around?

G&t I've got this book;
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1841210684/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1407524842&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40
My dd's prob too young to really understand it but I figured it might help so why not, I reckon at 3 it should be really good for your dd, doesn't help with the initial part if telling her but might help over the coming weeks?

baby when I had my first bleed it was the evening, I went to a&e with my husband because I just wanted someone to help iyswim, just going there made me feel like I was doing something. My a&e's a bit crap so they couldn't scan me but they did refer me for a scan the next day at a bigger hospital. So I'd say go, it gets you in the system and if they can't help you right there they should be able to get you in with people that can.

Just checking. Am I being too touchy here?

I came off Clexane today only after a 2nd opinion from Raj Rai/Lesley Regan because MN panicked me when a less experienced Dr said to come off.

Once again (and this only happens on MN - my DH wants me to leave MN NOW because it is panicking me) I get someone telling me I'm gonna have a thrombosis and my consultants are wrong:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2144764-an-open-invitation-for-some-indulgent-whining-about-the-rubbishness-of-pregnancy?msgid=48775479#48775479

Am I sure? Who else shall I go to get a 3rd opinion from then as I've asked the 2 biggest sticky blood boffins in the country who told me to come off at 34 weeks?? And told me there was NO increased thrombosis risk.

baby I would go, if it gets someone to talk to you.
I don't really know what to think now as the twingey sharpish pain and crampyness is still tthere but no more blood since this morning. I rested a lot today and did a bit of tidying, feel shattered but even with movement no more bleeding for about 12 hrs.
Got a glimmer of hope now but I'm much happier being a pessimist, don't get disappointed then.

Think I'm going to give the private scan place a call, if they have a space at least I will know when I'm going as I could be messing about all Monday trying to get referred to the epu.

Hope you get seen baby so sorry things are so rough for you.

mrsg just totally welled up woth hearing about your ds reaction. So lovely.
I have ordered pirate Pete - I'm a big brother for my ds as he liked pirate Pete's potty!

So sorry to hear about the bleeding miss and baby. I know it's so hard to remain positive and hopeful when there is blood but as other ladies on here have said, it's not always bad news. Got everything crossed for you and if you are worried / dorm want to wait til Monday then I would go to A&E. Big hugs.
squiz I think I would go with the medic boffins. They trained for years in this stuff and specialise. Not some random stranger off the Internet!!! I can understand your fears so if it helps, get a third opinion but if two different professionals have said same thing then I would be inclined to go with them knowing best. What's your gut?

squiz I have no experience or knowledge of your condition or treatment. However if I was faced with the choice to trusting 2 highly trained medical professionals or someone on MN who does not know my history I know who I would listen too. Your concern is totally understandable but step away from mn 'experts'

In all the books, leaflets etc' I have ever read on my condition they say you come off clexane at 34-36 weeks so I think that's how it's done.
I think the confusion arises because the same meds are used for people at risk of gestational thrombosis: I notice they tend to be on MUCH higher doses than me though!
Considering the people who run my clinic literally wrote the book most other clinics use... and treat 4500 cases a year ... the 34-36 week plan must work eh?

Squiz, I was just reading that on the other thread. Completely gobsmacking! And brilliantly played by you. I would have complete faith in your team and the clinical trials, they ARE the experts, and bugger silly sods who can't look beyond their own navel. Please don't go!

Looking for an update from happily?

squiz ignore ignore ignore those threads. Take a deep breath and step away. You have got opinions from 3 doctors (assuming Rai and Regan are two consultants). They are medically trained and are experts in the area. Why would you trust someone on MN over them. I know it is your illogical and panicky inner self talking. Calm down, block that thread.

g&t my DD is also three. I told her about 17-18 weeks because that's when i started showing. I would like to wait till after the 20 week scan but then I also don't want her to learn it from others. I got the there's a house in my mummy's tummy book to explain to her about the new baby. She definitely understood it. Just in a very very strange way. At first I thought she didn't. But then when she was asked at nursery, she told them there's a baby in mummy's tummy. Then she will randomly told me baby is going to pop out of mummy's tummy. And when we had stuff on the other back seat in the car, she said baby can sit on her lap. She also told me she is a mummy now and her baby is the bunny. I think she is interested but not so excited that she keeps talking about it.

tearex my a&e experience on MC is horrible too. They wouldn't refer me to a scan with my first MC. The doctor just told me these things happen and is very common. And that obviously I'm not an emergency case. That's after I waited like 4 or 5 hours in the waiting room. (Second MC was different as I was bleeding buckets of blood so was a real emergency and was seen immediately after arrival at a&e, with a ERPC scheduled same day to stop the bleeding). I wouldn't go to a&e with normal bleeding because of my crap experience. I'd rather sit at home then in the hospital.

So in missmakestuff case I would probably book a private scan. baby I'm not sure how bad your clots and bleeding is. If you soak through a pad in no time, they will take you seriously in a&e. I remembered clots so bad that's like fish sized. And no pads can hold the blood so I was blood soaked when I got to a&e. If you aren't comfortable going yet, can you get mil to stay over? Just in case it gets worse later in the evening? I'm sure she will understand.

squiz I havnt had chance to read that other thread yet, but please listen to the medical professionals, they are the experts and most importantly no the details of ur condition, random people on the internet may have a slightly different condition and so have a different experience and generally probably just enjoy scaring other people by attempting to give medical advice to strangers. Your Docters have got u and ur baby this far, there not gona let you down now!

sea sorry it's taken so long we had to rush out to a friends and didn't have time to update. All was great, actually out me to 13+1 so four days head which is good. It's a major relief and we have really enjoyed telling everyone! Had lots if happy years from people!

Sorry to hear about anyone that is having a worrying time at the moment. I hope you have someone to look after you xx

baby and miss so sorry you're going through this, hope that today has brought an end to the bleeding.

squiz it looks like that other poster is on clexane for a different reason, as she says she has to take warfarin all the time (which as far as I know we won't have to?). Definitely definitely take the advice of the extremely knowledgeable experts who have told you that everything is fine! They're just as invested in a good outcome as you are, as it makes them/ their clinics look good . From what I've seen of maternity services they absolutely always go for the lowest risk for the baby - even if it means pain and suffering for us! So I am very sure they wouldn't tell you to stop your treatment unless they 100% thought that was best. I'd say that your DH is half right though and you probably shouldn't post anything pregnancy related on threads other than this one, as people who haven't been through RMC just don't think/ respond in the same way.

Hope everyone is feeling OK today - I feel sick but I won't complain. Two days til scan to find out if all these injections/ sickness/ tiredness has been worth it!

Well ended up in A&E me called an ambulance because of pain over the bleeding turned out blood was coming from my kidney so was right to go after an examination they couldn't find an indication anything was wrong with the baby been referred back to epu for a reassurance scan though. Now on medication for nasty infection in my kidney and to improve my kidney function as it's filling with fluid which is what set everything off. Got in at 4 am but feeling reassured that the baby is ok just waiting on an appointment to see consultant about my kidney now. Thank you for your advice and support last night was terrifying :( glad I went on the end though.

How's things today missmakes?

How frightening Baby. You must have been in terrible pain. It's horrible you've been through that but you must be relieved that it wasn't baby related. When is your scan? Take care & rest up.

That sounds horrible. I hope you feel better soon x

baby I hope you manage to rest today and get some answers soon about your kidney function. Really glad for you that the baby is fine - get those feet up

Miss hope you're alright today? Thinking of you x

Thanks for the advice about the book One and Tea I'll get hold of a copy. We told DD this morning and she was really excited and has listed all the things she wants to show the baby when it comes! Cute.

happily so glad you have passed the 12 week milestone too.

baby that's very scary. Bleeding from the kidney. Have you had that before or is it new? Did they explain what's wrong and what they will do to treat it? Glad your baby is ok and hopefully they can treat your kidney problems. Being ill when pregnant is no fun as so many drugs can't be used on pregnant women. Take care and rest. Thinking of you here.

Baby - hope you are ok. Was it a uti that worker it's way up to kidneys? Whatever though I hope it's ok and the treatment sorts it soon. So pleased bubs is ok

Baby so pleased you got it checked out. Sounds horrible, and a rest is definitely in order! Hope you start to feel better soon...

Oh Baby!!
How horrible and scary for you- sorry to hear about your kidney.
But so relieved baby is OK!

I had it with DS but not until 17 weeks so it never crossed my mind that it would be that I have a funny shaped kidney so it retains fluid anyway it gets worse in pregnancy because it has to work harder they will probably put a stent in it's what they did with DS I was also on oxycodone for pain with DS but obviously I couldn't take that this time as it knocks me out :( the infection started because of the build up in my kidney. DH has taken some time off to look after DS so I can rest and let the anti b's work

baby hope you're feeling better, I had a horrible kidney infection a few years back but it was surprising how much better I felt and how quickly once they dealt with it, hope it all works out.

I've been spoilt with breakfast in bed this morning for my birthday, felt bad that I felt sick so couldn't eat half of it, plus there's no more blood and a test cam up with a strong line, although I know none of this means anything really.