The Berry-Copter!!!

[Bunnygirlie]

The Berry thread - berries (over 30s) pregnant with first baby after trying 12+ months.

Support, advice and hand holding from the grads.

Don't forget to CLENCH!

Know what you mean win - telling people makes it all the more real, and has been upping my anxiety levels a bit too. Just have to keep telling myself that what will be will be and as rp always says "today, I am pregnant" and going from there.

Just had a call from the FMC re my bloods - they come back as great, less than 1 in 10,000 for chromosomal abnormalities. The biggest surprise was the gender test. Came back as 99% a GIRL! And there we've been picking boys names for weeks!

Hope everyone is well. bushy if you're reading this, I hope you're as ok as can be. Still thinking of you. Feel guilty posting all my news as I know how painful it can be to read it when you've just suffered a loss. Sending you lots of Berrie power and hoping you're back here soon with good news.

Congrats on your little DD Feather! How lovely. I know what you mean, DH wants a dd but I'm convinced it's a boy.

I am staying at DPILs having driven up yesterday. It's very relaxed and they are super understanding that I'm eating Shredded Wheat instead of MIL's excellent homemade meals

Bushy still thinking of you, hope you're relaxing somewhere with DH xx

Great news on your fmc results feather, and congrats on a daughter!! Glad you're having a relaxed time RP! I have my 16 week midwife appointment next week. I already know they won't listen to the heartbeat, so I'll have to use the doppler myself before hand!! We already have our 20 week scan date too. Is that the same for you guys?

Just to echo what everyone else said bushy, still thinking of you. I hope the worst of the physical stuff has passed and you can start the emotional healing. Xx

Hi win I'm booked in for a glucose fasting test in early September when I'm around 17 + 4 - is that what your 16w appointment is? and then my 20 week scan on Sept 16. Nothing for August. Just flapping in the breeze trying not to get too anxious.

rp how's The Sickness? Mine is still hanging about a bit. But the thing that's really bothering me now is The Tiredness. When did it ease off for the rest of you berries? Please say it does as I just can't function properly at the moment.

Met my colleagues new baby today. It was lovely to hold her and so good to see my colleague. I think if I wasn't pregnant it would have been really upsetting as we'd been due the same week but mine ended in the ectopic. Anyway. It was a bit sad, but I was so happy for her. She had a really hard birth which she told me about in detail. Am now terrified!

Hi y'all!

feather wow a girl! Glad your tests came back ok.
So does everyone know what they're having? Or planning on finding out?

win I first heard heartbeat at 16w appt so they should check that for you too!

feather how come you're having the glucose test this early? I thought it was done later?

Tiredness comes and goes, it shouldn't last forever! However my sickness is still pretty shitty!

bunny is it early? Midwife booked me in for it when I saw her for the first time. Thought it was standard? Going to consult Dr Google now...yet another thing to get anxious about!

Just had a look and it does seem early, but I think I fall into the 'high-risk' category as my parents are of middle eastern descent?

Sorry if I worried you, I thought it was something that was picked up during the wee dip tests at mw appts. Must be a reason though if mw booked it

Hello ladies, thanks for asking after me. Had a nice time in devon. Was very good for us to get away and have a bit of fun but was tinged with a bit of wistfulness-as dh says babies are everywhere, and of course families! It's lovely to catch up with you but I won't deny that it makes me sad reading about the bumps, scans etc as I can't be part of it. I feel like a dirty faced orphan with it's face pressed up against the sweet shop window. Of course I don't begrudge you lovely ladies any of this and I hope to be back in 'the club' some day.

Had a bit of time to think but also time not to think, we even managed to have a bit of a laugh on holiday- crazy golf will do that! Re the thinking: I think the unfairness and the dream being snatched away part makes me angry and the fact that I'd allowed myself to make small plans and look forward to things,but then I think I shouldn't feel cross because there was something wrong and that's not some karma thing for getting excited. I suppose as well I've been trying to analyse what might have made things go wrong. In conclusion it probably was a genetic thing- it wasn't strong enough so not meant to be- but I stupidly read an online forum comment about how smoking, alcohol and caffeine up your risk of miscarriage from anything from 10-90%. So I've started thinking if I got pg again I would not drink even a tiny sip, would totally give up caffeine to be on safe side. Also the same site said to avoid artificial sweetener as there is a miscarriage link. I'd been drinking quite a few soft drinks when pg but then got concerned about gum disease etc and getting fat so switched to zero varieties. Now, I wasn't drinking lots but now I'm thinking maybe I'd avoid any diet drinks too. What a fun pregnancy that'll be!! It makes me cross that I am worrying and probably going to make all of these changes but feckless smokers, drinkers and overweight people won't change a thing but still get a baby out of it. On my scan day a scally dad trooped past with 3 young kids, all munching crisps on the way to see mummy's scan of the fourth.. I just want one!! Hmmm...

Anyway sorry to bring anyone down, just felt I needed to vent and perhaps those of you that have had mmc might recognise these feelings. Not sure I belong here now so will go over to main thread but do keep posting on there and maybe I'll read the chopper thread to keep up with you but at the mo it's a reminder of what I don't have

Hey bushy, so glad you and your dh had a lovely break. We went away not long after the ectopic last year and it was
Just what we both needed.

Totally understand you feeling sad reading the thread. I'm sorry if I've said stuff that's upset you. As I said before, have felt guilty posting up my news after what happened to you. It's so totally unfair and I'm just so sorry you've had to go through this. You're being amazingly brave and level headed and it sounds as though you and your oh are really leaning on eachother at this time.

Re the caffeine/asparmatame/booze guilt: you really have to
Work through any guilt about that. It's not your fault. Please don't get into that cycle of negative thinking as you have a lot on your plate already. As an intelligent woman, you know that a few diet cokes and a few sips of booze will not have caused the mmc. When I had my ectopic last November, I searched frantically online for reasons, and decided it was all my fault because I'd smoked a few roll-ups at a festival five years before we'd even started ttc. That is obviously rubbish. The hardest thing about losing a pregnancy, I found, was that there was no answer for WHY it happened. As soon as I truly accepted that it was just not meant to be, that on some level my oh and I weren't ready at the time, and that I WOULD get pregnant again, I started to feel a bit better.

I'm wishing you all the goodness in the world right now and hope you'll be back here soon with good news. Will be keeping an eye on you on the other thread and checking in. I hope the healing process for you is cathartic. Letting it all out and not bottling anything helps. And remember: your time will come, bushy. You WILL have your baby one day. xxxx

Hugs bushy x

Arr feather thank you for such a lovely reply. You haven't said anything to upset me on here, this is the chopper after all.

Your words really make sense and it's so nice to know I'm not the only one who's been searching for a reason on the internet and wildly attributing it to any of my actions. It's only natural to want a reason but I think in this game sometimes we have to accept the uncomfortable wasn't meant to be part and shit happens. I think I can accept that it wasn't meant to be, there must have been something wrong with it but I just feel so desperately sad about our much longed for and hard fought baby has gone and now I am back to square one, with that horrible feeling at the back of my mind that this may never happen. After all, it took Ivf for it to work and even then it didn't stick. In some ways I think maybe this is our chance at a natural bfp but it took 2 and a half years and still nothing! We need the help!! I'm not sure about the not being ready part, we were and it being a bit bumpy at the start made us want it more. I think now we'd be so grateful if it happened. But know what you mean. The hardest part of your advice to yourself was about knowing you would get pregnant. I think you can see I'm letting the old doubt creep in. That's not going to help me so maybe I just need to be positive and in the meantime enjoy life. Doesn't mean I won't have dark times but I hope all will be right or that I can learn to live with whatever version of the future plays out.

I'm going to be brave now and go to yoga. Yoga lady knew scan was last week so will have to deal with that. Ah well, brace up!!

Bushy you do belong here as you made it this far, even if it wasn't to be. You conceived and carried a baby, same as everyone else here.

I completely understand if you feel like this thread is weird for you right now but hope you don't lose touch.

You will be back. I am sure of it!

Glad you managed to have a lovely break bushy. I certainly recognise your feelings after my mmc. I think I managed to come round to thinking that it hadn't been anything that I'd done to cause it. I know it's difficult, but I figured that babies get born in much worse conditions than I provided, even with the diet drinks I had, and smoggy city I live in. It has made this pregnancy quite anxiety filled so far though. I think that's inevitable after losing a pregnancy. I think I've accepted it and done what I can to manage it. Sending you lots of berry vibes bushy, hoping you are doing okay.

Just lurking, it's nice to see so many familiar names have made it over here while I've been on a social media ban!

lady! There she is! Have you poased again recently? Got everything crossed for you x

I bought a bag of 50 cheapies (plus 50 ovulation sticks) this month so I'm POAS twice a day! Got 2-3 weeks on a digi today which I never achieved last time. DH worried I'm getting my hopes up, trying not to.

Hello lady!! Please stay!! I did the same with the cheapies... Stuck them on a piece of paper with Sellotape so I could inspect how much darker they were getting!!

That's exactly what I've done Wino, and then I compare them to pictures of BFP progressions on google! Just had some spotting so now lying down with a cyclogest pessary, still have 2 boxes left so I might as well use them.

Oh my goodness lovely lady have I missed something?!?!?

Hi lady

Today I went out and bought two maternity bras as my current underwire ones are starting to dig weird, they make me look properly matronly but they are coooomfy.

Has anyone else moved to mat wear yet or am I the only fat bastard one? I am in the elasticated trews or mat shorts and still normal tops on top. But my favourite yellow Monsoon workwear top was a bit tight earlier this week so I may be moving up

Still early days Bunny, only 4 weeks tomorrow. A surprise natural conception while on the waiting list for a hysteroscopy and polypectomy. Hopefully the frosties will have wait a lot longer to be defrosted! I saw your due date at the top, can't believe your ICSI pixie will be here in 2 months!
I'm dreading the bigger boobs RP, I'm already a 32GG!

Woah lady that's so exciting! and natural after a the Ivfs wow! Everything crossed for a sticky one! So pleased for you x

Yep less than 2 months, amazing and scary at the same time.

Still waiting for the change in boobs here, finally decided to get measured last week at 31 weeks as underwired is frowned upon and I've gone from a 34a to a 36a! Amazing eh. The woman in m&s bought in size b and c, tried one on it was hilarious. They don't even make maternity bras in A!

I needed maternity trousers from 15w as my work ones were getting real tight. Luckily because of the weather I've made do with stretchy dresses, leggings and long tops. I think being pg over winter time you will probably end up buying more than I had to.

Just popping by to offer congrats to lady - fantastic news! Everything crossed for you xxx

Thanks Boom, hope the mini-booms are OK!
Bunny have you seen the bra intervention threads on style and beauty? M&S are notorious for getting it wrong, to get the band size you should just use the underbust measurement as it is without adding 4. Then you lean forward and measure around the bust when boobs are hanging, not tightly, and the difference in inches between the two gives you the cup size. 1 inch for A, 2 inch for B etc.