The Berry-Copter!!!

[Bunnygirlie]

The Berry thread - berries (over 30s) pregnant with first baby after trying 12+ months.

Support, advice and hand holding from the grads.

Don't forget to CLENCH!

Like you, I tend to just cope with things, but this is hard, and logically, thinking about it, it should be. I've found that accepting that it is going to be rough after the fertility journey, with so much waiting, setbacks, trauma, helps. Objectively for me, I would be weird to be taking this all in my stride after two MMCs at around this stage and other family bereavements so I'm trying to give myself a break and indulge my worry as a normal part of this process

There's nothing you can do which will influence the result any more than you already are, it's a waiting game, again

Oh Pip. I know exactly what you are feeling. Seeing that makes it so precious and you can't bear that that might be all you ever know of being a mother.

But listen, as others have said, 5 days' margin of error is normal. It is what I and others have been told in "regular" scans at that gestation. So that may not be a red flag.

Also, you are doing everything you can to protect your little baby. You are his or her mummy no matter what happens, and you are doing everything right by resting, trying to be calm, and going to all the appts. That is all you or any of us can do.

It is the worst kind of wait. I remember the days between the GP telling me she was pessimistic about the chances to my pregnancy making it, and the scan. I felt sick and then just numb when I went in.

But my baby has survived so far and there is no reason yours won't too. Just make it through these days. Every day that heartbeat stays with you is one more day of hope and viability. You just hang in there.

Ahhhh pip, it is really tough. I know how you feel having been told my previous was measuring small but there's nothing you can do to alter what is happening. I think being this anxious won't help so the best thing you can do is to try to think positively and keep calm and relaxed. Perhaps listening to some meditations might help and also repeating one of the berry's mantra of ' today I am pregnant', you are and you've seen a heartbeat. I can't guarantee all will be fine but I certainly hope so and sending you lots of hugs.

pip know exactly how you're feeling, but you have to hold on to the fact that you are now pregnant and there is a viable pregnancy. It's difficult, but you need to take it one day at a time. That's all any of us can do. I was so full of anxiety early on I made myself ill. The thing is, I found that I just projected my worries onto the next thing and then next. And then one day, I realised that I had to let it go. That I was not in control of anything and regardless of what we do, what will be will be. It's the only way to go through this process without freaking out. Have you thought about talking to someone about your anxiety? Might be worth it...

I think we're all in such a difficult position: we've all wanted this for so long and it's all the more precious because of our battles to get pregnant. The innocence of this process is lost, but I believe that will work towards making us better parents, eventually.

Hope everyone else is well. X

Pip, Lentil, how are you guys doing today?

I've just done another CB digi to get the 3+ result, which has been my weekly ritual to reassure me until the scan (a week tomorrow). Knowing there is nothing left to do between now and the scan is making me feel very helpless. Grrrr

pip bumping in the hope you are okay today.

spare I number the days in my head. Just count them off, watch the hours pass by till the sun sets on this particular day. Feels like wishing your life away but the further you go, the more days you get through, every day is giving you a better chance.

Today you are pregnant!

Hi Spare, I'm trying not to think about it too much, just not lifting heavy stuff or having tea or coffee, although I did cave and eat a chocolate bar earlier, bad me

I've managed to wangle another scan tomorrow morning, then no midwife appt until Jan, when I'll be 10 weeks, thinking of asking where to get a paid scan to tide me over

A friend had her baby last week, severe complications, bad post partum haemorrhage, makes the positive thinking a bit of a struggle

Thanks RP and Feather.
I'm feeling a bit more positive today. No symptoms really, which is a worry, but sudden belly growth, which may or may not be just fat! I slept loads yesterday and I think that will help too. I've been working with my Hindu friend today who has taken it upon herself to look after me. She won't let me stand for more that about ten minutes!

Scan on Tuesday, which doesn't seem so far away now.

Ah, you have the pregnancy exhaustion, I've been having afternoon naps, and your bloaty belly may not be actual baby but it's definitely a sign. So you do have symptoms, just not the stereotypical ones, like nausea

I've just been for another scan to finish the spine check, all healthy, growing on the 50th centile and it's a girl! I thought it was going to be a boy and the nub theory and chinese theory said boy so all wrong.

Great news lady! So exciting! A girl! xx

Oooh lady how exciting! Are you already thinking names?

Pip first-trimester exhaustion is a symptom. Nausea is not the only symptom! :)

Lentil google 'Babybond' - they have centres all over the country and do reassurance scans for c. £40-80. I decided not to have one in the end but it might make you feel better.

No symptoms here still today. I'm tired but it's the end of term, everyone is tired.

pip morning sickness isn't the be all and end all. Mine was very mild compared to others and didn't come on till 8-9 weeks. I was exhausted, weeing a lot and had twinges in my left ovary - was convinced it was another ectopic. Please try and stay positive. It really is different for everyone.

How's everyone else doing?

I'm in the wrapping up at work madness right now. Last day before hols/mat leave is Dec 23 and I have loads to do. In other news, we bought a pushchair this week and started our nct classes. Been lovely to do something with oh and meet local couples having babies at the same time. The best bit is that our teacher is ACE - real warrior woman sort who's totally into getting us in the right frame of mind for birth - no guilt tripping either, which I hear us rare.

Getting huge now! And baby feather is wriggling like mad! I've had a couple of period like pains thus week - assuming its Braxton hicks? Anyone?

When do you go on mat leave win and rp?

spare not long till your scan now. How are you feeling?

lentil all good?

bushy how are you doing?

I would love to do an updated list, so we have a fresh reminder of where we are all at, but I'm on my stupid phone and my iPad died! Anyone?

Thanks RP, I'll have a look, had 3 scans so far, should be able to wait until normal 12 week scan, hopefully it will be able to be more accurately dated then, of my 3 scans, the dates have varied loads, on Weds it was measured at 6 + 3, today it was measured at 7+ 6, I said really? She said, the smallest I can make it is 7 + 4, so I guess it isn't an exact science, can't go by LMP due to fertility treatment. I saw leg buds and a head as well as heartbeat, looks like a jelly baby

Work Christmas party tomorrow, plan is, OH and I both have the same drink, I pretend to drink and we keep swapping, he gets trashed and looks like a lightweight and I look like a proper hardcore boozer, otherwise no one suspects a thing!

Oh, and had lunch with a friend who is 8 months gone, she's walking miles, eating anything she likes, carrying on as normal, I'm not 8 weeks and I feel like an upside down beetle when I try and get off the sofa, can't move too quick in case my last meal comes up, still not nauseous, just a combination of eating too much and slow digestion

Hey ladies. Haven't posted for ages as work is a total horror. Seems like everyone's doing well, welcome to the pink bus lady!

Love your description lentil that's like me getting out of bed in the morning! Mayve try halving your portions but making sure you have 2-3 snacks as well. Usually I can eat the same as DH but now I really struggle. My MW told me to eat less but 6 times a day.

Can't believe you're nearly on mat leave feather Eek! Mine is due to start on 6 Feb but don't know if I should push it back a few weeks.

Pip I know how hard it is not to worry but no symptoms means nothing. I've had the easiest pregnancy ever, only had mild nausea from 10-14 and have spent most of the time not feeling or looking pregnant. After all you've been through, maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones who sail through it. With the measurements, it's anything but an exact science - they're measuring a moving splodge from one blurry line to the other! Don't mean to dismiss your concerns, as it's totally natural in the circumstances, but having come through it myself I just want you to believe that there's every chance it will all be fine.

Hope you're doing OK spare, I guess just try and keep busy until Friday, have everything crossed for you.

Morning berries,

lentil the works do sounds like a good plan. I had mine last night and was umming and ahhing over what to do re drink but in the end read good thread on pregnancy and decided to accept drinks but then pretend to sip and get rid of it at earliest opportunity. I said I was drinking gin and lemonade and basically put the drink to my mouth and then took it to go to toilet but actually went to it other bar and swapped it for a lemonade which looked the same, donated my gin to a group of ladies who were a bit suspicious at first until I said I was pg and didn't want to tell anyone. I also then danced loads which totally deflects attention and put down drinks in different places. Once people are drunk themselves they really don't notice. Think I got away with us, although thought my TA was giving me funny looks!!

We have my dh's do next Friday but his boss knows so I think the rest might know too so might just stick to non alcoholic and not worry about pretending.

I think the nausea has started for me. I feel ok when I eat but I am hungry all the time and past two days I've had a muzzy feeling and still haven't shifted the cold so loads of mucus hanging round making me feel a bit retchy anyway. Also had the drooly mouth. Felt so shit yesterday that I went back to bed. Also have had bad tummy- ring of fire is appropriate!! Think it was dh putting too many jalapeño on pizza!!

lentil scan sounds good!!

feather can't believe you're nearly starting maternity!! When is your due date?

Midwife has left message on phone to ring back. I gave appt next week so hope all is ok.

Ok, feel a bit embarrassed asking this but here goes: dh and I have not dtd since my bfp. He's been lovely about it. I've just felt tired, not well and also I think the risk of bleeding is preying on my mind. He asked was I waiting until 12 week scan. I'm not really but I am a little apprehensive and not really felt like it. So, the question is what did you do are you doing, if it's not tmi!!

Hello chloe!!< waves> right think my bacon sarnie is almost ready! let he eating begin!

Bushy, after I had some bleeding I said to wait until it was safer at 12 weeks but we've compromised as long as he's very gentle and doesn't get, erm, enthusiastic... TMI?

No lentil not tmi at all know what you mean. tbf I haven't had any bleeding this time but I did last time and lost that pg. tbh it's prob firmly in there so I don't think dtd is going to budge it but ...!!

We waited until after the 12 week scan but I didn't feel like doing it anyway with the nausea and tiredness, plus it was nice to have a break after 2.5 years of TTC sex!

I've just shown my scan picture to my aunt who is a very experienced sonographer. She said that everything was in the right place and the clinic are just being over cautious.

Shame she doesn't wheel a scan machine around with her! That's reassuring, though.

She is at the other end of the country, it would need to be a scanner on a long cord.