The Berry-Copter!!!

[Bunnygirlie]

The Berry thread - berries (over 30s) pregnant with first baby after trying 12+ months.

Support, advice and hand holding from the grads.

Don't forget to CLENCH!

All your options sound really sensible rp. Be interested to hear what boom has to say about HB. The couple of women I know that have done it had amazing, positive births and their babies are perfect.

lady kicks! Congrats! It's so exciting, isn't it!!

so tired, just got home from work. I need to eat something and pass out. 3.5 weeks to go and I'll be on hols/mat leave. Can't believe it! Whoever was asking how long we all plan to take: I'm going to play it by ear. Initial 9 months for sure, but would love to take a year if I can. We'll see!

Apologies for disappearing act - amazing how scatty you become, be warned!

RP sounds like you've done your research! Firstly, a warning that I belong to the slightly more lentil-weavy section of obstetric society so this comes from a slightly alternative viewpoint. Is there any reason that your pregnancy would be considered high risk? (Mine is and I'm still hoping for a HB so if it is it's not the end of the story...) if not I would imagine they'll be happy for you to have a HB. Advantage is that HB obviously lessens the chances of intervention and you avoid hospital (I also hate hospitals, weird given I work in one) - however the NHS tend to have a fairly low tolerance for transfer. When you speak to the HB team I would probably ask if you could have a meeting with a supervisor of midwives/consultant at your local hospital, so that you can put a plan in place re: avoiding instrumental delivery prior to turning up in labour, when with the best will in the world it's not always possible to read your notes thoroughly. Given your history I think most reasonable SOMS/docs would agree to go to section over and above risking traumatising their patient. Obviously you have the right to decline any intervention but the last thing you want is to have an argument on your hands while you're in labour. You also need to discuss the possibility of instrumental delivery being the best option in some situations and what could be done to make it bearable for you in that eventuality, although obviously it's a rare occurance that it's unavoidable - but best to be prepared.

On a slightly separate note, as I said you have the right to refuse any intervention. That includes vaginal examinations to assess progress if you don't want them (I will be declining unless my midwife feels there's a genuine problem). Remember that birth does not run on a schedule, much though some would like to think it does, so if you're not comfortable with internal exams you can say no. Always ask people to explain why they feel it would be necessary, there often isn't a reason other than 4-hourly examination protocols which are a load of crap. Similarly breaking your waters is generally unnecessary and doesn't particularly shorten the length of your labour (by about 20mins on average I think, going on relatively recent research which I may be able to find somewhere) but can make your labour harder.

Sutures are another point, I'm not sure how you feel about that - again, perhaps read up on the evidence behind stitching vs leaving to heal in the case of 1st and some 2nd degree tears and have a chat with the HB team about it - also find out if they all suture as in our trust some HB team don't (barmy) so if you need stitches you then have to transfer in. A bad tear would need stitching in theatre - worth looking up perineal massage perhaps if you haven't already, the evidence isn't particularly compelling but it's worth a go!

Hypnobirthing is a brilliant idea, I'm also looking into it for this time round and have seen it used really effectively at work. Again, make sure the homebirth midwives are on board wih this although I would imagine they're used to it, but it's nice to have someone who's respectful of what you're doing and doesn't interrupt or distract you.

Sorry if this is a bit waffly, having a night of random wakeups so I'm a bit beyond making sense! Did that help at all or have I totally missed the point?

Xxx

Hi Boom

That helps massively, thank you so much! I hadn't thought of involving any SoMs etc but if it's not being too dramatic on my part, maybe I will ask about that. The short version of what happened when I was younger is that I had an intimate exam performed by a male dr without my parents present and he told me he was going to perform a hymenectomy, which terrified me. He didn't but it led to weeks of screaming arguments because my parents thought I should do what the dr said and not be such a baby, and they basically threatened to force me to have it done. (I think they thought it was a bit like a naughty child refusing a vaccine or something.) I feel a bit stupid saying that to HCP as it's not like being actually assaulted or anything like that, but it led to me associating gynae procedures with bullying and humiliation.

Anyhow I think I will mention those circs to the HB team and see what they say, as they may think it's not serious enough to warrant putting a plan in place but if they do that would be useful to know. I'm hoping not to make too big a deal of it though as I find that going over it in my head is not helpful and makes me more stressed, and I don't really want to go into the birth with forced gynae procedures on my mind.

I am not keen on stitches but somehow that feels much less violating than people putting instruments in. I will see on the day.

So yeah, that's my plan then: talk to HB team and see what they think; then depending on whether I go the HB or hospital route, talk to my community MW or HB team about whether it's worth making a plan to avoid instrumental birth; then do hypnobirthing to get over the angst!!!!

...........Okay I will stop hogging the thread now

Any good hypnobirth cd recommendations??

Sounds like you have a good plan in place RP!

Anyone else feeling sick in the 3rd trimester? All of a sudden feeling exhausted too. Ergh. Hope this isn't it for the next 10 weeks!!

We've just had a thread on the FB group about hypnobirthing tracks:
Pregnancy and birth preparation, mindful mamma
Samantha Redgrave-Hogg
Maggie Howell from www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk

I'm using Maggie Howell. It's v v hippy but I find it good.

Glad it was of some use RP! And your plan seems realistic and sensible to me. I have everything crossed it all goes smoothly for you! Xx

Oh and I'm using Samantha Redgrave-Hogg at the moment as I found her app first - I find her voice irritating but I'm yet to find one that doesn't annoy me so I suppose it'll do. So far I've only done her sleep relaxation one, and I have to say I've not got to the end of it yet without passing out - whether that's because it's good or because I'm knackered I don't know!

Another berry BFP today but from someone who just uses the berry FB group rather than MN.

Apologies for not posting for a while but things have been a bit crazy here since little ones arrival. We had very scary visit to a&e and submission to hospital for a few days but thankfully all okay and we came home last Sunday. Thank you for the congratulation posts a few weeks ago, I did read them but just didn't get chance to respond.

Hope you're all okay. This pregnancy journey is tough after ttc for so long. Just take it a day at a time, ask as many questions on here. I had some bonkers thoughts and a number of trips to triage for reassurance but it was all worth it in the end

Hello all - decent weekends, everyone?

Mine started off a bit crappily as I had an odd conversation with a close friend who got rather cross when I mentioned I'd asked to talk to the home birth team. She didn't say anything about my situation directly but she said she didn't understand why people had HB, that it was going back to the eighteenth century and giving birth without any experts present, and that just because you'd given birth didn't mean you knew what you were doing, and how would I cope without nurses and MW there for the first night to help with latching the baby on etc?

It knocked me a bit and I spent quite a lot of Sat feeling a bit tearful it is weird because she has been very supportive so far and given me loads of her old baby clothes and stuff.

But have spent a lot of time giving myself a good talking-to and feeling more positive now!

Anyhow sorry, I've been very me me me this last week. Win you must be 31 w now. are you having another scan? How is the GD stuff going?

Is anyone waiting for a 12w scan now?

I'm waiting for an 8 week scan RP!

My niece-in-law just had a home water birth. She seemed really happy with it. Baby delivered at 9am, midwives packed up and gone by 11. She can sleep in her own bed and use her own bathroom.
She lives in a tiny terrace though so heaven knows what the neighbours thought!

A hospital birth doesn't necessarily mean an overnight stay so her point about breastfeeding is irrelevant and I imagine it would be easier to feed at home in a more relaxed environment, plus the community midwives can support you with bf.
I was on call all weekend, it was quite busy. I had to intubate a baby, I realised that I am much more comfortable with an anaesthetised baby rather an awake, wriggly one!

rp people tend to have very strong feelings about hb and it's based on their fear of the unknown. Know it must be hard, but just brush it off as her projecting and do what's right for you.

Morning everyone! So tired at the moment. Could stay in bed all day! Hope you all had nice weekends. How is everyone?

Rp I heard all of those 'helpful' opinions when considering home birth.
I gave birth in the midwife led birth centre and didn't have an overnight stay. We could have gone home within hours but we chose to stay for 7 hours to get help with breastfeeding. As it happens I've learnt that midwives are generally not trained lactation consultants and therefore their help isn't necessarily helpful or correct. So if I were you I would book a lactation consultant to come the day after you give birth to spend time with you at home to help with breastfeeding. I can't stress enough how tough it can be and the difference one on one help from a trained lactation consultant can make

Thanks for the hypno birth stuff guys. Will investigate this week.

RP, sorry you had a shitty start to the weekend. I have to say, I'm realising more and more that peoples reactions to all sorts of pregnsncy related stuff says more about what's going on for them than you. Hope you're still feeling ok about it all. ????

The GD stuff seems to be going ok thanks. Except for a few hiccups early on, I've managed to keep my glucose in the target range. It's so hard giving up carbs and sweets tho. I've had a few wobbles! But feeling a bit more in control about things now.

Feather, I hear you on the tired thing! It's really hit me this last week. Think I need to admit to myself I need to slow down a bit now!

Pip, I hope the time isn't passing too slow to your 8 week scan. I found the first 14 weeks the worst with regards to anxiety. It seemed to dip again after the 20 week scan. I'm still very anxious, but I think in the early days it was all consuming. I hope you're managing it better than I did!

Merk, did you wait till you'd given birth to book the lactation consultant or plan it beforehand. That sounds like such a good idea! Did you just find them on the internet?

Win. Time is passing so slowly it is just a joke! I've got my first midwife appointment for the week after now. It can't come quick enough.

Aw thanks all. It just took me a bit by surprise, is all. I have found a lot of people think if you do anything to try to improve your chances of a good birth - like hypnobirthing, classes, etc etc - they will delight in telling you that you have no control over how the birth goes and you may as well just not bother your little head about it.

Merk we haven't booked one but we have identified one in the next town over so will see how we go and ring her up if necessary. I am laying in a stock of 'emergency formula' in case the dino doesn't BF easily right away - he won't starve then - and then we can seek help.

lady yes I thought that, as everyone I know who had non-C-sec births was gone in about 4.5 hours from our local hospital. But kept my trap shut!

win glad to hear it. Giving up carbs must be super hard. I am still having vegetable-refusal myself Am waiting for my own blood sugar test results so we'll see!

Pip oooh the waiting at that period just puts the 2ww into the shade. I found the period 7-12 weeks took ages, and then again the mid-teens of weeks, like 15-19. The twenties have gone faster and am 30w today!!

Lactation consultant - I had thought I would get the help I needed from the midwives/health visitors but it doesn't work like that. So I would speak to one or two in advance, make sure you have mobile numbers for them and that they can do a home visit at short notice if/when needed.

The having emergency formula one is a funnily divisive subject. Even when breastfeeding is going ok, at the beginning it is non stop feeding. Relentless. And you are SHATTERED and your nipples hurt like you've never experienced. And people (family/friends/your husband) will start to suggest formula to give you a break or because the baby is hungry. If you want to mix feed then that's fine. But if you don't want to then having formula in the house can mean you'll end up giving it even when you don't want to iyswim. anyway, you know yourself. I had formula in because I wasn't sure I wanted to breastfeed, then the baby arrived and I suddenly wanted to breastfeed, and I was stubborn enough, even when she was feeding hourly through the night and I was a zombie, that I never opened it.despite almost everybody who came through the door telling me to give her a bottle

Hello, checking in! Well I expect I am waiting for 12 week scan. I need to ring & gets wheels in motion. I am finding I am hungry loads too! Had 2 fajitas, slice of cake and a twirl and still peckish!!

Silly question here oh wise ones: we do wake and shake with the kids ( a sort of dance aerobics to pep them up when they have been sat down too long). & some of them moves include little jumps. I am sure I heard you're not meNt to jump with both feet off the ground as all the weight is then held by your pelvic floor ( this may be utter bollocks). I am being a bit wussy at the moment & doing it v gently or sitting out. Any advice? Also what did people do in early pregnancy with exercise? I normally do yoga but have stopped just in case. Had intended to swim but this cold dark weather is putting me right off!! So I'm not really doing anything apart from the odd walk.

rp home births do divide people. Some find them a bit icky with all the mess, some people think it's selfish to divert medical staff from serving multiple patients in a hospital setting to just serve one at home. And some, like you said just want to burst your balloon. Do what is right for you and don't worry about the comments of others.

Merk - thanks. Yeah I may email that lactation consultant we found then. I am planning on mixed feeding if possible, actually. Just because the way things are working out for us financially (we had to do big big house renovations recently which trashed our savings) I will have to go back to work when dino is 5.5/6 mos old, depending on when he is born (due 2nd Feb, returning to work 1st August). So I am thinking mixed feeding from the off would be ideal, because then it is not such a trauma getting him to switch to bottles when he goes to nursery.

I would ideally exclusively BF and BF for at least 6 mos, but I am just thinking that 6mos will mean a lot of changes in his little life: probably moving into a cot in his own room, starting ft nursery, AND then changing the way he eats. That's a lot! So we are planning on staggering those changes if possible and introducing bottles early on is one way we will try.

Will let you know how it works out after a few months though, ha ha I am aware babies don't do plans!!

bushy I did absolutely zilcho from 6-15 weeks besides daily walks because I was puking on a 4-hourly basis. Then I started antenatal yoga and pilates, swimming twice a week, and gentle gym once a week (20 min xtrainer and stretching). Now back to just doing yoga and pilates as too tired to get up in mornings to swim etc. Personally I am pretty relaxed about jumping but if it makes you feel even just uneasy in your mind, don't do it, as it's just not worth the worry IMO.

Berries - How can I cope waiting for my scan? I am going insane here. DH says try not to think about it. How can I not think about it? It is the only thing in my mind.

Rp worth talking to your lactation consultant about the potential for nipple confusion. It does happen where bottles are introduced early as the technique for bottle feeding (sucking) is totally different from the technique for breast feeding (a kind of tongue massage). If bottles are introduced before breast feeding is fully established it can cause issues with getting breast feeding established at all. I think the general advice is upwards of 6 weeks before introducing a bottle but it really will depend on your baby and how well your breastfeeding is going

Pip - can you book a scan sooner? There's some companies that do they for ~£40?

Pip is it 2 weeks now until your scan? I had an 8 week scan after getting the BFP at 3+1 and it seemed to take forever but I found daily POAS helped. The nausea was reassuring as well!

Bushy I would stick with your gentle version personally, even though it's probably fine to do more! I didn't feel like doing any exercise in the first trimester due to nausea and fatigue.