The Berry-Copter!!!

[Bunnygirlie]

The Berry thread - berries (over 30s) pregnant with first baby after trying 12+ months.

Support, advice and hand holding from the grads.

Don't forget to CLENCH!

Heloooo!!!! Was having a little sneaky read on here, not being brave enough to post then I saw pip's news-yayyyy!!! So I thought I had better 'get in the chopper'!!! Lovely to hear how my old buddies are getting on and eek to you leaving soon.

Hi Bushy, does it feel real yet? Are you going to book an early scan?

Hi Bushy. For me coming on here has made it seem more real.

So, graduate berries, is everyone fucking terrified?
It doesn't seem nearly real at all.

Hello pip, it's ok, we can hold each other's hands!! I'm trying to keep calm about this one and just take it bit by bit and do the best I can to take care of myself. Got really cross with dh last night as he was whinging about helping to hang out the washing as he had put it on! I then felt bad for little bushy! ( I really did not know what to refer to it as there!! Bit scared to say baby/ foetus/ whatever. It's like when rp etc were pg with me in the early stages and we couldn't say pg and would say in my present condition- v Victorian!!)

Hi lady I think it does and it doesn't feel real. My boobs hurt and I have twinges in belly which feels more pg than last time but yeah it's a strange one, like I'm still carrying on with my life but everything has changed because I'm pg. it's nice and a relief. It's a relief not to be cross with pg people anymore too. I posted on berry thread about my Sunday lunch from hell, being sat across from 2 bump stroking women passing scan pics. Being pg myself I could deal with it. If I wasn't, I think I would have cried. I would have felt that this was the universe consciously trying to ' get at me'!! I actually haven't even thought about an early scan. I haven't contacted doctors/ fertility clinic yet to inform them but maybe with my past history they may offer me an early one, which would be nice.

Did you guys phone docs straight away to get booked in?

My IVF clinic are doing an early scan then passing me on to the GP.

I can't say pg at all yet.

Hi Bushy

I waited till 6w to book in. Our appts round here are at 8w.

This probably isn't what you want to hear, but I found that although the mentalling goes away a bit, mostly it just changes to focus on other things. My consultant mentioned casually that I was at increased risk of prem labour and since then I am just living to get to 32 weeks. Also stressing about possibility of baby being injured during birth despite having no particular reason to think this is likely.

Good that you have symptoms though!

I phoned quite early on but that was because I was going away for 2 weeks, I think my first appt was at 8.5 weeks. I had a private scan at 8 weeks. We called it the embryo until one of those pregnancy apps said it was now a fetus, still feels weird to say I'm pregnant!
I felt more relaxed after the 12 week scan and screening tests but I'm sure I'll be nervous before the anomaly scan.
IKWYM Bushy about the feeling OK about pregnant people now. My sister and 2 friends are due before me with their second babies and it's nice to be able to feel happy for them.

Which apps are people using?

I have babycentre, what to expect and I'm expecting. I mainly look at babycentre but the other 2 have a weekly video update. I also get the NHS emails.

Seconding lady on the BabyCentre app. Bit American, but great overall.

I got seen at 5/6 weeks because of my previous ectopic six months before that. Fertility clinic kindly saw me even though I got pregnant naturally rather than clomid. They just wanted to be sure it was In the right place this time round. Then had my booking in appt around 9 weeks.

win, rp: do you have days where your dino/baby's movements are less than others? I get a little paranoid when she's been quiet too long....have tried the cold drink thing.

feather yes! I find as it goes on, he is more consistent but I've definitely had days when he doesn't want to do much at all. Like I said, last week I went into maternity triage when he hadn't moved for a few hours. They were so good and kind, and I would really recommend it if you are worried.

I think the key thing is, never go to bed if you think you've got reduced movement - i.e. don't assume it will all sort itself out by tomorrow. I read that on the Tommy's site and that's why I went in at like midnight.

Am off to do my snazzy new hippy shite hypnobirthing CD now. I am surprisingly finding it really helpful, even if it does bang on about breathing in golden light

Feather, I defo have days where baby is quieter. Although she is still quite a regular mover. When you say dino's movements are quiet, how long for? Do you kick count? There's a good app you can try which helps you to see patterns. I think the important thing is do find out what's normal for dino. And if that changes, call someone. The app is called count the kicks I think.

Even if you find the hypnobirthing a bit woo you can take a couple of things from it. Keeping calm (will help the oxytocin that needs to stay flowing) and belief that you can do this. You can. And believe me, you feel like superwoman afterwards

Winooh!! Hello! Ah, it's like a long list reunion in here!!

And rp you're having a boy and feather you're having a girl!!! I didn't know. I stayed away from the thread as thought it would just upset me, although one night I almost came back on for a self flagellating snoop but managed to stop myself.

pip thanks for asking re apps! it's exactly what I was going to ask. Now as this is a school I pad can I risk downloading pg apps to it.... I need to make up some boring ass folder to put them in, in case anyone looks over my shoulder when I am using the I pad!! It's that or put on phone...

Merk hypno birthing sounds v woo but why not.

Boomgoestheweasel says thank you for the good wishes, please join the FB group and RP you can PM her if you want to discuss home birth options.

Right, have totally apped myself out and due dated etc. Now some are saying 19 th July, others 21st.shall I go with earlier one? I'm a bit shocked as I thought it would be an august baby, now I'm like shit it's coming sooner! Also on a stupid note thought I'd be able to see the academic year out but not if it's due on the 19th- think that's the last day of term!! Obvs people stop well in advance of their date too so looks like someone else will be seeing my class out, although I will see them through their sats.

One due date calculator suggested a conception day. I have looked back in my diary & found this to be a lazy Sunday where we went for Sunday lunch, I had a big glass of wine, which I then came back to the house and had about 3 more!! It was start of half term & I was in a bit of a fuck it mood!!

Slightly scared myself with all of that. That won't be anything in comparison to dh's reaction when he realises it'll be in July not august. The conception date will make him laugh too!!

Anyway better slope off to have a shower after all of that.

Just home from a loooong yoga class today. Feeling suitably stretched!

Thanks for the reassurance rp and win - she was definitely awake and active in yoga so feeling better now, but will take your advice and head to triage if I am worried down the line.

Bloody hell! Does the worry every stop? My MiL said "mine are in their 30s and 40s now and I still worry" when I said that to her the other day.

bushy yes, I'm having a girl! Very excited and still can't believe I've made it this far along. I don't blame you for not coming back after your mmc - I avoided the copter after my ectopic as I felt it would be too painful too. How are you feeling? I would suggest you call your FC and let them know your news as even though you had a natural bfp in the end, they may want to see you early on, too. I booked myself in at the hosp rather than going through my gp - just seemed less faff. Also, I have the BabyCentre app on my phone - find it better than the iPad version.

merk the fb group is very tempting. Going to wait a while longer but I know I will probably join at some point.

pip how are you doing?

Bushy. The advantage with IVF is that I know the exact date of conception and the apps and website say 24th July. Just like you I have been thinking how it fits with school. Hopefully I'll make it to the end of term. Slightly annoying that some maternity leave gets eaten up by the summer.

DH is excited now. I think he is coming round to the idea.

I was excited to have morning sickness this morning - just a bit queasy really but that's a proper pregnancy thing.

Bushy my FC weren't interested in me after I got a natural BFP, they didn't even say congratulations when I phoned them but I think it was grumpy nurse that answered. Re: due date, even though I'm pretty sure of my conception date (temp charting and ovulation sticks), at the 12 week scan they measured me 6 days ahead and they said they prefer to use this date as the EDD so I wouldn't worry about the 19th/21st thing at the moment.
Pip enjoy your morning/all day sickness
How much leave is everyone taking? I'm going for the full year and I'm hoping to drop my hours when I go back so I'm trying to build up some savings to get through the year.

Hello chopper berries one and all!

Haven't been on MN in an age and not intending to make a comeback, but just wanted to offer massive congrats all round on your pregnancies (and thanks for the congrats on mine!). Hope you're all keeping well, I can't believe how far on some of you are now - such exciting times!

We'd love to see you over on the FB group and promise we're not scary, but if not I'm happy to hang around here for a day or so and give my 2ps worth on home birth if you want RP

Lots of love to you all

Xxxx

Don't worry about due dates; the scans will dictate them (even in ivf pregnancies as the timing of implantation can vary) and your baby will ignore them and come when it wants anyway (except mine which came bang on time)

I really hope your morning sickness stays at the manageable queasy stage and not the puking in a bush on the side of the road stage or the carrying sick bags everywhere stage! But I remember well the reassurance that having some symptoms gave

Pip yes I had horrendous MS from week 6-17 (not hyperemesis but nasty) but I actually didn't mind it that much as it meant I knew I still had lots of hormone.

I'm taking 6 mos including annual leave but that's for financial reasons.

Also yeah they give you an EDD at the 12w scan and that's that. They don't change it after even if the baby grows more slowly or quickly, afaik.

I am totally into the hypnobirthing now! I can really see how it would make a difference and am going to continue with it. You are only supposed to do the CD from 32w but I have been feeling so anxious recently I started this week (29) and it's really helped.

Boom that is super generous of you and I'll do a separate post about HB if no one minds me hogging the thread

Okay so on home birth............ Trying to keep this as short as poss!!!!

I am really-really scared of having an instrumental delivery. I won't go into much detail but I had an unpleasant experience with someone doing an intimate exam when I was 12 (!) and also I have a friend whose instrumental delivery did not go so well and has had longlasting effects. I also tend to get stressed and defensive in hospitals, partic with gynae procedures, which I think is due to history.

So I'm looking to do as natural a birth as poss, and am seeking to avoid epidural, stress/ anxiety, being on my back, or anything else that might increase risk of instruments. Would love water birth. BUT if the baby really is stuck I could cope with a C sec, though would prefer to avoid. Would freak at forceps.

My choices are:

• local hospital D-- which is a big teaching hospital. Very overstretched. Only consultant led unit. 1 birthing pool but the word is it's hard to get it, as there are so many women in. People say the MWs are lovely but very 'stuck' in medicalised mode. Their rate of instrumental deliveries is 10-15% above national avg, depending on whose stats you look at, and only about 25% of their women give birth without instruments or epidural.

• home. MW so far supportive of HB, we would have a pool, 2 MW from dedicated local team. Transfer time to hospital with blues-n-twos poss 15 minutes. Maybe more or less depending on how fast they can drive. I have a referral to HB team so they should be in touch for a chat; transfer time is something I will ask about. Also the obvious usual worries about what if there is a real emergency like cord prolapse, PPH, cord around neck etc. I would plan to have a private scan shortly before due date to try to identify malpositioning and cord around neck but don't know if these things are likely to change at that late stage.

• local birthing rooms N A which look fabby: they are small but will open for you, they have multiple birth pools and v dedicated to natural labour. 25 minutes away by road but with a first labour that's probably okay, I'm guessing. Trouble is: the nearest hospital, where you'd transfer if there was a problem, is Very Crappy Local Hospital, T, which is in 'special measures'. I would be very scared to go there so think N A-- is out.

• Slightly further away hospital E--, which is about 45-60 minutes away on big A road, but has an excellent MW led unit plus, as a full hospital, a CLU and emergency team, operating facilities etc etc. Downside is, would they take me as out of catchment area, and is c. 60 minutes on the roads in late Jan/ early Feb really feasible whilst in labour? What if there are roadworks on the A road? Etc.

My current feeling is get assessed for a HB and see if a) they think I'm a good candidate - I trust them to be honest and know what they are doing, and b) go for local hospital D-- but do hypnobirthing to combat my anxiety, leave it as long as possible to go in so I'm pretty much ready to go when I get there, minimal hanging around, and then have stuff about past trauma/ no instruments if poss ALL OVER my notes.

Does this sound sensible? Boom thanks so so much for any advice :) Would welcome others' thoughts too! And sorry for monster post

Sorry that should say if I'm not suitable or have doubts about it then b) go for local hosp

The kicking has properly started for me today at 19+3, I've had flutterings for a few days but today I had proper jabs like someone poking me with a finger from the inside.