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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Finding out the sex of baby. Thoughts?

75 replies

molly84 · 07/07/2014 08:59

My husband and I are expecting our first baby in December. We have absolutely no preference what we are having...Just very excited about having a baby. Initially we decided not to find out the sex, but as the 20 week scan is approaching we are starting to change our minds. We just want to know as much about this little person as possible! What are your thoughts? Did you regret finding out? Thanks

Ps everything ie nursery/clothes is going to be unisex so we are not planning on buying gender specific items if we do find out. Thx

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fattycow · 07/07/2014 09:00

I don't want to know, as I would like it to be a surprise at birth.

But you should do what you feel like. I don't think you will regret it either way.

petitverdot · 07/07/2014 09:04

We'd always planned to find out and were glad that we did - I feel like it made it a lot easier to think of my little man as a person However it totally depends on you!

Dukketeater · 07/07/2014 09:07

We found out.

I don't like sleepsuits so liked buying actual clothes

Mrsgrumble · 07/07/2014 09:07

We didn't find out and it did make it more exciting, personally.

We are in an age where we know everything the second it happens and I just felt it was nice to go the old fashioned route and wait.

But on pregnancy two now and I would like to know for practical reasons (sorting baby clothes etc) but dh doesn't want to so waiting again.

eurochick · 07/07/2014 09:07

We chose not to (well, mr euro wanted to but decided I got to win on that one). It is an IVF pregnancy so we know so much about it already - when it was conceived pretty much to the hour, how many cells it was on each of its first few days, etc. I thought one unknown would be nice. A number of midwives have commented that it is quite unusual and lovely to have a surprise, but in my AN group on here, a sizable minority have decided not to find out.

SouthDerbyshireMamma · 07/07/2014 09:07

We decided to find out and we are glad we did. I already feel we have a strong bond, even before he's born :-)

ThedementedPenguin · 07/07/2014 09:08

I found out with both of mine.

It meant we could get clothes in as I hate gender neutral clothes they look awful. I didn't want a house full of white.

We painted the nursery in a gender neutral theme so it will suit my dd when the boy moves out.

Mumof3xox · 07/07/2014 09:09

We always found out with our three

I have no patience

I also like to but gendered items (go on shoot me now)

Mumof3xox · 07/07/2014 09:09

Buy not but

Original poster

molly84 · 07/07/2014 09:12

Thanks for replies so far. So difficult to know what to do, I can completely see both sides...I know I probably won't regret finding out as I agree you can really imagine the little person...but then again, the surprise at birth would be amazing. And what happens if they get the sex wrong?

OP posts:

Heels99 · 07/07/2014 09:14

We found out. I don't get the 'surprise' thing. It's a baby not a christmas present.

Sausages123 · 07/07/2014 09:15

We found out simply so the baby has a hope of being named before it is 6 weeks old, although that backfired as I am 39+4 with ECLS booked on Thursday and we still can't agree on a name.

Heels99 · 07/07/2014 09:15

Having a baby is amazing anyway, it's not less amazing because you know what you are having.

Babycino81 · 07/07/2014 09:17

I didn't find out and it was the most amazing surprise ever. Especially as every man and his dog told me I was having a boy and had a beautiful DD! However, for practical reasons ie clothes, bedroom organisation etc I may find out with the next one (DH's idea really!)

Totally up to you but nothing beats that little surprise at the end!!! Good luck as it's a difficult decision

Original poster

molly84 · 07/07/2014 09:17

Good point Heels99

OP posts:

Purplehonesty · 07/07/2014 09:21

I didn't find out with ds but with dd I was so hoping she was a girl that I asked.
I didn't want to feel disappointed if she was a boy when the baby was born and if it was going to be a boy (my last baby) I wanted to be prepared.
I would have loved the baby no matter what but just needed that time to get used to the idea of having two boys!

ClariceBeanthatsme · 07/07/2014 09:24

We found out at the 20 week scan dc1 was a girl then with dc2 we decided to wait until the baby was born.
I definitely preferred the surprise when dc2 was born.
I actually asked the midwife not to tell us the sex of dc2 and dp checked himself and told me we had a boy when he was given to me on my chest which was really special. (Although I did double check!)
Also its quite exciting calling friends and family after the birth to tell them babies here, the weight and its a....

squizita · 07/07/2014 09:31

We did simply for ease of deciding names (and because I'm not great with surprises at the best of times, I like things to be expected).

Although someone I know paid for a gender scan which turned out, upon delivery, to be wrong. OOPS!

mrsnec · 07/07/2014 09:34

We found out at a 22 week 4d scan. I'd been referred at my 20 week scan because they couldn't see enough detail. So thought we may as well find out while we were there. We weren't fussed either way though.

Up to that point, we'd bought neutral things. But as soon as I found out she's a girl it all seemed very masculine. So then people started buying me very girly things.we're set on a girls name and she feels like a girl.

Saw a friend at the weekend who's now trying to convince me they got it wrong and asked me what I'm going to do if it's a boy after all!

Dh thinks she has a girly face so not to worry but if I do decide to do this again I don't think I will find out if there's uncertainty anyway.

squizita · 07/07/2014 09:35

...also we are buying gender neutral but not beige and white items anyway. Not for PC reasons so much as they're re-useable.
You have to hunt down a bit but there's plenty out there with multi-colour polka dots, stripes, woodland animals etc' which are far from bland but do not scream 'boy' or 'girl'.

I can't abide beige and white because it seems to be designed to look neat/pristine only, having worked with kids all my life I just imagine it with a scrawk of crayon over it not-so-pristine haha! Brightly coloured and plastic/wipe clean all the way!

BreakingSad · 07/07/2014 09:41

Never wanted to know for any of my 3 dc, I liked the surprise and the excitement in telling everyone what we had.

BeckaH123 · 07/07/2014 09:50

Hi OP

Funnily enough DH and I are the complete opposite to you; before I got pregnant, we always thought we would want to know the sex of the baby, but now that the scan is only a few weeks away we realised we don't want to know yet.

Someone told me (not sure how true this is), not knowing the sex can help motivate you during labour as you want to know what you're having! Also, I wouldn't be able to resist buying 'boy' or 'girl' clothes, pram, blankets etc if I knew the gender. As we hope to have more children after this one, we want to be able to recycle as much as possible.

VSeth · 07/07/2014 09:52

We didn't find out with DD, it was more my DH than me that didn't want to know early on, however in the couple of weeks before birth it was exciting not knowing, It helped keep my mood buoyant during the wait and when I was enourmous.

On reflection I am glad I didn't find out and if I get pregnant again I won't find out.

Minesril · 07/07/2014 09:59

I've wanted to find out everything possible, so definite yes to the sex! I had to have a 3D scan at 37-38 weeks and was scrutinising the head/leg/abdominal stats etc. Also got very excited during the sweep when midwife said she could feel his hair! For some reason I found that amazing.

Observer78 · 07/07/2014 10:00

Because everybody around us was having girls, we figured it's a girl (also- were having a hard time to think of a name).
When the sonographer asked if we'd like to know the sex, I agreed just so it's confirmed to us that it's a girl. It's a boy! Very happy that we chose to find out because it diverted our attention away from girls names, and it took a while to get our head around it. All in a good way. We love that we are going to be a bit different from our friends.
However, until the day he joins us, we are still referring to him as "baby", so knowing it's a boy hasn't spoilt anything in terms of pregnancy "innocence" if you like.

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