Are big families back in style?

[Tallandgracefulmum]

I am a professional mum with 3 children expecting 4th soon, but DH and I still feel, 1 more after this, but I say 2 more ( as i hate odd number of kids for some reason) DC will complete our family.

Went out today to another kids birthday party, (like one every week :) and got talking to two women, one has 7 kids, yes 7, no twins and the other has 4 but still wants 1 more. Both are professional working mums and both said they knew of a few large familes.

Aside from my own sister, from my generation, I do not know any other professional mum who are quashing the nuclear two family norn?

I know the economic costs of having a lot of children are huge, but those on lower incomes tend to have larger families as do the very affulent.

We space our kids out 3 years, so are there any families who have choosen to have 4 or more DC if so,does anyone want to state the number they have, the job they do and how the manage a full time career with their brood.

Just being nosey :)

I don't know what a professional mum is?

I have noticed a rise in bigger families, I have 3 and am considering a 4th. There are many families at our school with 6,7,8,9,10 children.

I don't know what a professional mum is?

Me neither

Do you mean someone who counts being a mum as being a profession, or someone with a professional job who happens to be a mother?

Both my parents come from large families, several of my extended family are 4 child families. I always thought I'd have 3 but we only just got round to our first (I'll be 33 when it arrives). I'm not enjoying pregnancy at all and now I can really see the effect that children have on career I think we'll be unlikely to have more than 2.

I have two family friends (sisters) who've had 4 apiece. Both had professional jobs (doctor & lawyer) prior to DC, however neither now work. I think if both partners want to maintain their careers a large family is v v difficult.

so are there any families who have choosen to have 4 or more DC if so,does anyone want to state the number they have, the job they do and how the manage a full time career with their brood.

Do you want to state those things first OP?

Not among professional friends, only around v.low income families.

You either need to be incredibly wealthy or on hb to be able to afford housing for a large family in some places.

I'm a 'professional mum', I guess. But I live in a tiny two-bed house in East London so I v much doubt I'll have more than two, max! Where would I put them all?!

I dislike the thought of birthday parties, sports teams, mummy type activities as it is, so the thought of that 4x over is horrifying to me. I think I would quite like the actual children but not all the admin.

ok, sorry a working mum, who has a profession.

I went to primary school with the youngest two of a family of 14!! (Catholics, and rather devout ones I'd guess). The youngest (a boy) was an uncle before he was born. Imagine.

Do people really choose to create human babies because they 'like even numbers'? Or to have large families because of 'style'?

14?!

Do you only want stories of large privately educated 'broods' OP? Is it personal inspiration you are hoping to find? (You didn't seem much of a state ed fan on the other thread)

Yes, 14!! mother was a full time SAHM (I would call her a Chief Operating Officer with a brood that size), father was a airline engineer if I remember rightly. I would call them affluent, they had a large house in a nice area, but this was 70s/80s - I doubt they could have managed same lifestyle now.

The only person I can think of who is a professional mother with a large family was a partner at DH's law firm years ago. She had 6. I think she is now a judge. Another lawyer I know of had 4, her family was v well off and her DH ran his own business so was able to work a bit from home.

I don't know anyone with both partners working full time or close to full time who have more than 2.

Everything's tighter now compared to 30 years ago. Four children plus and 2 high flying careers is getting into multiple nanny territory, surely?

Gennz, you just have to be precious with your time. I was at a party yesterday and two today, but different kids. I do decline a lot of party invitations, if they clash or for instance, I have one party every weekend for 6 weeks in a row, then next lot get a decline. You don't have to do the sports, parties, mummy activities etc.

Fin, we think we do ok, but alwys looking to get tips, but here goes ours is nothing special but works for us:

We take turns to do school and nursery drop offs and pick ups so we each have 2 days a week we can get in early and work late same day to put in extra hours.

Who ever gets home first empties the dishwasher.

DH never accompanies me to the DC to parties, I do parties, only invited kid goes DH then has quality time with 2 DC.

We sync our diaries so, know whats what, who has an important case etc and we only travel when one parent is home.

DH works 4 days a week in the office and one day at home and uses that time to receive the shopping, check on investments and other budgeting stuff.

My job to source bargains, holidays, trades people, insurance.

I get to lie in on Saturday morning, DC are not allowed to disturb me before 10 am DH gets his on a sunday, same timings.

DC all go to bed late, bed times 8pm, 8.45pm and 10pm, works for us. DC then sleep through.

First DC and uniform, and second DC preschool nursery uniform bought one item for every day, always a clean set.

All household cleaning is done on a sunday, DC join in too.
Older child is responsible for making sure second child has bagged packed for nursery.

Nursery child has to make sure baby does not put small toys in mouth if we are busy doing something. We each have a role in the house.

We don't hang about for the drop offs, we arrive 5 mins after opening and arrive to collect 5 mins to closing.

DH and I spend 5 days each out of our holiday entitilement to have days off whilst kids are in school and nursery, date days.

We alternate weekends on who cooks and takes charge of the kids.
DC eat what we give them, we only offer choice of drinks.

We plan who should be called if one DC are sick and needs to be picked up and communicate that daily with school, preschool and nursery.

Fide, we don't have a nanny or parents close by, but my parents could get to us within 1 1/2 hours 1 hour with no traffic, for two we use full time nursery and preschool.

For my last maternity leave I took 9 months and DH took 3 months to share it with me.

And you are thinking of two more!? Will you get childcare then?

What industry are you and your DH in that allows this AND 6 x 14 yrs x school fees

I think you and I are not too far from each other, so presumably your commutes are saneish? But you don't benefit from bargain housing?

mrsgembles

East London is nice :)

You could have made to measure furniture for the bedroom, google 4 bed or 3 bed bulilt in childrens bedrooms and check out the images.

Fidd yes, I like even numbers so would either stick to 4 or go to 6 if body willing. Nothing wrong in that. But if I had five, still ok. I knew there would be one like you. Always is.

I can't even figure out what six lots of drop offs and pick ups would look like. You are insane

One like what? Struggling to believe you'd conceive an extra child to keep the numbers even? Yep, I find that hard to get my head round - sorry

Why are you gob smacked? We are both lawyers and I also do BD consultancy for clients. Plus I only have 3 soon to be 4, 5 and 6 may not happen :)

I rarely go to court and if I do I know months in advance so I can plan that DH is around to do pick ups at 6pm. DH is a charities lawyer so his schedule is pretty much the same has couple of late days a week and leaves at 4.30 the other days. Can be done.

How do we afford this, well aside from a decent income, we lived like students for many years even with DD1 and downsized our housing aspirations without compromising on the area. 4 bed flat with huge garden as opposed to 4 bed house huge garden and mouth watering mortgage.

We invest heavily, and whatever we spend, we save double. If I spend 20 then I save 40.Always moving accounts, never loyal to one provider for long, always haggle even in shops.

If making big purchases, usually ask around, if anyone else is planing on the same thing, then we go togther and get discounts of both sales.

For holidays, mostly villas or offer access to colleagues via recommendations usually gets big discounts.

Plus our number one rule is paying ourselves first.
Oh and I gave up the gym, get my hair done professional maybe once every 3 months instead of 4 weekly, only buy things for my self once a year in the sale.

Fide, 6 kids may never happen, I turn 35 this year, but I do like the idea of even mumber of kids.

Drop offs are no problem if you chose establishments in the same direction as you go on to work. Nursery opens the earliest so that is done first. It would be hard going back and forth. That could not happen, would not work for us :)

The logistics are as boggling as the economics.

I thought this was a thread for larger familes. Yes I like even numbers, but that just me :) My mum has a friend who has, 7 girls and the last is a boy, 8 kids, she would have stopped at 2 if the first or second was a boy. Has and insane number of grandchildren and great grandchildren now :)

Maybe I am just more focussed on the back up we don't have and the things that can go wrong. Arrangements like yours always seem to depend on precision and perfection and no problems occuring.

I find it fascinating because i've been debating the possibility of #4 (and maybe then #5 for company if possible) for about 18 months, but in RL I don't know many people who have more than 2DC unless they have hands on parents or ILs locally OR a nanny.