Are big families back in style?

[Tallandgracefulmum]

I am a professional mum with 3 children expecting 4th soon, but DH and I still feel, 1 more after this, but I say 2 more ( as i hate odd number of kids for some reason) DC will complete our family.

Went out today to another kids birthday party, (like one every week :) and got talking to two women, one has 7 kids, yes 7, no twins and the other has 4 but still wants 1 more. Both are professional working mums and both said they knew of a few large familes.

Aside from my own sister, from my generation, I do not know any other professional mum who are quashing the nuclear two family norn?

I know the economic costs of having a lot of children are huge, but those on lower incomes tend to have larger families as do the very affulent.

We space our kids out 3 years, so are there any families who have choosen to have 4 or more DC if so,does anyone want to state the number they have, the job they do and how the manage a full time career with their brood.

Just being nosey :)

Agree with everything squizita has said. Your description in your first post is spot on and makes me very glad we moved out of North London where many acquaintances fitted into the bracket you described....it can be hard not to get sucked in

Xcountry sorry for your losses, I'm also a recurrent miscarrier ... I don't think I'd be able to handle a big brood though! Sounds like you have a great time though!

Kerala Yeah guess where we live lol?

I'm one of 7 and I loved being part of a big family growing up, even more so now (we all did and do). My parents were not at all well-off, but it's easier to have large families in NZ, especially when you live in a smaller town. My Dad works in what would probably now be a mid-low income job and my Mum is a SAHM, with a sideline selling Avon. They live on 20acres of land, so always grew own vegetables, now grow their own meat and have hens for laying, so that helps.

DH and I are planning to have 4 DC (I'd like 5, but we've agreed on 4, so I'm jokingly hoping for twins as the 4th pregnancy) - have 1 currently, number 2 due in a few weeks. He is at the beginning of a high-earning profession and I'm a SAHM so it works for us.

I have friends with 6 children. She's a SAHM and he works for a charity so isn't highly paid, and they are all very happy. Other friends have 4 children, she's also a SAHM but runs a small computing business from home, and her DH works in IT.

I'm one of 3 and don't consider that to be a lot -we were quite close in age and had a lot of the same friends and were expected to entertain ourselves. There was a family down the road of 8 -teenagers lived in a holiday home in the garden! My husband's an only though so I think we'll stick with 2 although we have room for more.

Thanks squizita I do, I'm not saying its not hard, I'm not saying I am perfect but it works for me. I cant for the life of me understand it because it wasn't something I wanted since I was a little girl but with time it felt right. I did try birth control once or twice, it was microgynon and It knocked me to pot. Not something I would do again in a hurry.

I don't know if it's a lot easier in NZ Grouchy, central Auckland property prices are akin to London, salaries tend to be lower & cost of living seems to be higher! That said I do think the actual logistics of raising kids would be a lot easier here - I can drive from my house to my work in the CBD in 10 minutes which would be, I think, impossible almost anywhere in London.

I think there can be a tendency to romanticise sibling relationships - both my parents come from large families (6 and 7 children) and they aren't all especially close.

Being a mother to a large brood it strikes me that you'd have someone "at" you all the time - needing help or just wanting attention ... I am quite a sociable person when I'm out but I need time away from people, kids included.

I have 4 DC (8, 6, 18mo, 5 mo) and am 12 weeks pg with no5. This one is unplanned and both DH and I work full time and have very little practical family support. I am lucky in that I work from home but I spend full time hours at my desk and I have a nanny 9am to 5pm which works out very coat effective. I also have a cleaner. Life is very calm and well organised on the whole but I don't know any other families as large where both parents have full time professional jobs. We are just very lucky.

I'm one of three but I wouldn't consider that a big family. My parents are one of four & one of five, and their sibling relationships are important to them even tho they don't live close as adults. I wouldn't be without my sibs either.

We are trying for DC3 at the moment, But I think that will probably be our limit. I'm about to be a sahm & DH is a doctor. I've had to give up my job because we can't manage childcare, & I would like to work again in the future...

My DH is one of five siblings who are now all in their late 40's and early 50's. 2 siblings have no DC, 2 have 2 DC and we have 3. This lowish number of nieces and nephews has slightly surprised me.

In relation to that chicken - my dad is one of five children and apart from him having five children, all four of his siblings only had one child.

I wonder if it's because they didn't like being surrounded by so many siblings themselves?

It's interesting what makes people want either a large or small family.

Writer interestingly my mum was an only child and accidentally had 3 (twins - so guess the plan was 2!). Whereas my Dad was from a bigger family and his siblings (with the exception of my uncle who remarried so had 2 small families = 4 kids) had only 1 or 2.

I found being in a houseful a challenge as a child (we had extended family too so not just 3 there a lot of the time) but was the scapegoat to some extent so wonder if this is why? I'm not sure if all my caring role adults weren't learning as they go along simple things like if one kid is given a QS or charity shop coat for school albeit a perfectly good one no one would tease them for, the other shouldn't get a brand new Brent Cross NafNaf one with the saved money because they'll kick off more, and if their default is kick off, they shouldn't have more leeway than the studious kid.

Xcountry
Sorry for your loses.

ChickenFajitasAndNachos

Appreciate that sometimes its give and take with parents when you have more than 2 kids.

Also depends on the ages too.

In style?

We have soon to be 3 I know lots of people with 3, 4, 5. We will definitely have more and we are only youngish. I have worked full time since I was 18 and will continue working the more children we have

Tall I'm sorry I don't understand your last post.

You can say that the other way round though dh is an only and wants 4/5 children and has done since we met in our teens. He wants he never had iyswim and hated being an only

I have 4 children with another on the way, I'm a full time teacher and dp installs TVS. We manage fine money wise, eldest is 13, two Middle ones go to breakfast club and after school every day which is only £60 a month and the youngest two go to grandparents.

We bought an ex council house as you get more house for your money and then extended it. My morgage is tiny compared with most peoples and I have a 5 bedroom house with a big garden and in a decent area.

I do all drop offs and pick ups though they're in the same direction.

The only problem I have is my dp is completly useless and doesn't lift a finger to help out with the kids. It's starting to wear very very thin. He is good at DIY though only reason he's still here!

I don't know anybody with 3+ children and all the ones I teach who come from big families seem to have no working parent.

eldest is 13, two Middle ones go to breakfast club....and the youngest two go to grandparents

Doesn't that add up to 5 not 4? Clearly too many to count

I've thought about this a bit today, and think that even if I'd started younger I wouldn't have had a big family. I'm a professional, so is my partner, but we have both previously worked (he still does), in an environmental industry. Probably we should have had no children at all in terms of population growth, but we'll excuse ourselves the one. Really it would be best for the planet if smaller families were permanently 'in style'.

It's interesting reading peoples' motivations for big families though! I'm one of 28 cousins from 6 siblings, I have a huge extended family, but would be very happy in a 'family' of 2 adults, or 2 adults and 1 child. I like the silence.

Purple roses- yeah I'm classing the one I'm pregnant with as being born. So 5 and the youngest 2 will be at their grandparents.

Obviously a different era, but... My great grandmother and great grandfather were the eldest of 13 and 9 respectively. They had one child, my gran, and spoiled her rotten.

I'm pregnant at the moment with out first... I'm 36 so the plan is to have one more (if we can) soon after this one, then stop. Any more and I'd have to give up work as my salary wouldn't cover childcare, plus I have some health issues that mean running after a large brood would be pretty hard. I have a fairly decent professional job, though not a huge wage, and my partner is in the higher income bracket, plus we own a house... But we've decided that we'd have to make too many sacrifices to our lifestyle to have more, and wouldn't be able to give them enough attention. Not to mention the environmental factors.

TBH it wasn't a hard decision. Neither of us can contemplate more than 2!

I started reading this thread thinking 'oh I might contribute' as I'm one of 5 myself and have 3 under 5 and work full time (solicitor) from home

But then I read it and I just find it incredible that people CARe so much about other people's circumstances. I find the mechanics of how it work imteresting. But good lord, who gives a fvck how many children other people have. Are they really making a statement or just having kids coz they like them?

I like hearing about big families, I'm constantly being told how daft I must be so it's nice to know it's not just me