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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Me: 'I'm pregnant.' Them: 'Oh how exciting, it might be a girl!'

28 replies

PilauMice · 20/06/2014 18:02

Grrr.

I am 14 weeks with DC2 (and according to the internet and the nub/scull theory DS2). Because I already have a son, most peoples' reaction when I announce my pregnancy is that it might be a girl. Perhaps I will achieve the holy grail of 'one of each'. I feel sad for my poor, unappreciated DS2 already. And if it's a DD, what if she doesn't live up to all this hype!

Basically the hormones are making me angry, any tips for the best response to this sort of comment? Has anyone else found this annoying?

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Hobby2014 · 20/06/2014 18:15

Not in same position, pregnant with first, I'm happy with either but MIL wants a girl because she only had two boys. So every time someone asks me or Dh what we'd like we don't even get a chance to speak because she pipes up and says 'we want a girl'. I then say, ' no, you want a girl, we don't mind.'
So my advice would be reply with we really don't mind what baby is as long as it's healthy we're happy. Or throw a spanner intense works and say we'd actually like two of the same so they'll be closer, have more in common or some other rubbish so she stops saying it! Just to be awkward lol
So sort of irrelevant but that's my advice! Either that or ignore the comments. I ignored MIL for a few times then had to say something coz it was getting on my nerves!

JennyBlueWren · 20/06/2014 18:25

"we're having a baby not a girl/boy"

RandomMess · 20/06/2014 18:27

"I was hoping for a puppy"

Original poster
PilauMice · 20/06/2014 18:27

I would quite like it to be a puppy then I have a complete set. Child, cat and dog.

OP posts:
peppercold · 20/06/2014 18:28

An acquaintance just said " ah well never mind" when I told her I was expecting ds3 Angry

Original poster
PilauMice · 20/06/2014 18:28

Cross post RandomMess. I actually wouldn't though, I think they are harder work.

OP posts:
EllaBella220 · 20/06/2014 18:33

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PilauMice · 20/06/2014 18:38

I think it makes me sad too because there is such an anti boy bias among some mums, and also among women I know who are not mums. My DS is so lovely and I would be ecstatic to have another lovely son, just like him or very different to him.

My mother says that she thought she was 'very clever' to have produced me after having had my brother. So maybe I won't be clever enough! She does have a PhD so that's probably how she did it....

OP posts:
ithoughtofitfirst · 20/06/2014 19:08

And in other cultures they definitely seem to celebrate boys more

I'm getting "ohh I bet you'd love a girl"

Bloody cheek!

I honestly couldn't care less.

EllaBella220 · 20/06/2014 19:22

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theborrower · 20/06/2014 21:19

When we told my MIL I was pregnant and joked that it was definitely our last (it's our second), she said "but what if you have another girl?".

Err, we're definitely stopping at 2, and if it's a girl again I'll be delighted!

EssexMummy123 · 20/06/2014 21:28

When i told my mum with my first that she was going to be a girl she said 'don't be to disappointed' - i didn't say anything but i was quite angry at that.

Heatherbell1978 · 20/06/2014 21:42

I'm pregnant with DC1 and over the moon he's a boy. We were in a restaurant last week and the waiter asked if we knew the sex. It's a boy I said. He looked at DH and said 'I bet you're happy'. Erm, I am too I wanted to scream!
My mum is also a bit disappointed as I have 3 brothers and she was desperate for 'another girl'....

whiteblossom · 20/06/2014 21:48

mmm I totally understand where your coming from, I am pg with ds2. My mother is desperate for a girl. She knew we were finding out the sex but said she didn't want to know...but then said something along the lines of "oh go on its a girl, I know its a girl tell me so I can start knitting" The implication very much that if its a boy she wont bother. I refused to say based on her saying she didn't want to know. (she said it ruined it for her last time finding out!)

I know that if I had a girl she would be all over it, but another boy bores her. With my first ds, my mil made it clear she wanted a girl as she had had two sons herself- she has not seen ds1 in over three years now. We haven't told the IL's Im pg again.

my dh and ds(8) have pretty much dropped a clanger and let the cat out of the bag but my dm is now head in sand- which is why I suspect nothing has been knitted or bought.

My aunty is convinced its a girl based on the fact SHE wanted a girl, and therefore I must be carrying a girl just to spite her to outluck her- she has two boys. She'll be pleased its a boy then when she finds out!

When I went for my 20 week scan, I knew that everyone- DH, DS, GM, DM all wanted a girl....so I burst into tears after the scan. Ive disappointed everyone. Thankfully dh and ds are very happy after all but I know my dm will be disappointed which makes it feel as if this baby is not good enough and that makes me angry.

To be fair to my dm she has helped greatly getting the house ready and has supported me loads so its not as if she dosent care she just wants a girl!

sorry for the long ramble

lighteningmcmama · 20/06/2014 23:42

I come from a culture where birth of boys is celebrated and girls not so much (though things are changing). It still annoys me that when I got married one of my uncles said to me 'i hope you are blessed with a boy'- I wasn't even pregnant yet!! I

frankiebuns · 21/06/2014 08:42

I'm 30 weeks with dc2 I have a ds and first time round I wanted a girl but blessed with a boy this time I said boy all family and friends said girl and yep a girl mil2b is now heavily interested as this isn't the dun thing there are no girls born into dp family I feel sorry for my son already I get weekly txts from mil2b to see how I am and she insists she's going to be at the hospital when I have my c section, she never bothered to visit after ds was born and, she only ever sees him 2 times a year

needaholidaynow · 21/06/2014 14:42

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splendide · 21/06/2014 16:53

When I found out I'm having a boy a very close friend responded (in a text ) "oh I was counting on a girl but I can wait for the next one". It's very unlikely there'll be a next one and I cried for ages about the text. I'm over it now I blame the hormones!

I think there's quite a strong anti boy feeling about babies. Not sure why :(

Thrice · 21/06/2014 16:59

I have three boys and got pregnant (happy accident), with DS3 pretty soon after DS2 was born. The comments! It felt like everyone assumed we were "trying for a girl" and that I was massively gutted it was a boy. Really horrible. MIL was especially bad and once when she was drunk she offered to pay for PGD abroad! When DH had a vasectomy she went on and on and on about it for months and her friends still mention how disappointed she is not to have a gd. Clenching my teeth now remembering it!

ImBrian · 22/06/2014 08:51

I have 4 dds and I'm pregnant with number 5. Ever since dd2 everyone's always said they hope we have a boy or asked if well keep on hgoing till we get a boy. It's never been the case but just so happens that dc5 (and my last) is a boy. I've already had people saying I can stop now as I have my boy.

It's sad really.

beccajoh · 22/06/2014 08:57

People are really odd about this. I got lots of congratulations when DS was born because he was the first grandson for DH's parents (six girls previously), and obviously I'd been very clever and managed the holy grail of popping out one baby of each gender. The fact that it's the sperm providing the boy/girl bit was irrelevant apparently Shock

Chrysanthemum5 · 22/06/2014 09:15

When I was pregnant with dc2 I assumed the baby was a boy as I felt similar to dc1 (DS). I got very fed up of the comments about how the baby 'had to be a girl this time as we had our boy' apparently. At the scan they said DC was a girl but I didn't tell anyone. I didn't care boy or girl, but I knew scans could be wrong and I didn't want to be in hospital with a lovely newborn DS knowing people at home were disappointed.

As it turned out the scan was correct and I had dd, and people used to stop me in the street to congratulate me on having a 'gentleman's family'!

All children deserve to be treated as individuals rather than reduced to their gender.

Wishfulmakeupping · 22/06/2014 09:21

I hate these horrible assumptions I've not even started properly trying for DC2 and it's started 'oh are you hoping for a boy this time then you'll have one of each' fuck off.

rockstars12 · 22/06/2014 09:42

I have a friend who is expecting her second son, she was really hoping for a girl so is very disappointed.
We've been told we are having 2 boys, we couldn't be happier. When I tell people they're identical, they still ask can you have 1 of each sex if they're identical... Er no! I don't get the obsession with having one of each sex.
My dad is disappointed, he wanted girls, mum would have liked girls, but is still excited as she knows we are happy.

kicksandgiggles · 22/06/2014 09:51

I know how you feel. I have a DS and am expecting DS2 and DS3 (identical twins), which we are thrilled with. The comments have been mostly subtle, but annoying nonetheless. I've gotten a lot of "you're well on your way to a football/rugby team", "at least you can reuse toys/clothes", etc, and even a couple of comments (including MIL!) from people who think we will try for a fourth as I will want a girl - not likely, and if we did go for a fourth, another boy would be perfectly okay by me!

I think as with so many other things in pregnancy, we just have to learn to grin and bear it...

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