New posifrickentivity thread for pregnancy after miscarriage.

[squizita]

Hand holding and fish slapping...

badgers it's normal what you are feeling. Most of us can't get the feeling it's real until at least the 12 week scan, as it's near the end of the first trimester. I didn't feel real until the 20 week, so lets hope you feel a bit more positive than me. But that's what we are here for.

A lot of us struggled here to have babies, either getting pregnant or carrying it. (I think amum went through a horrific number of miscarriages). Some of those who have children also suffered it through their previous babies. We are definitely suckers for this, I guess because we are hardwired to do so biologically?

liesal welcome to the second trimester then

Just had the most massive meltdown.

We got the results of the NIFTY test this morning. Everything has come back very low risk (YAY!) and we also got an idea of gender. It seems we are having a little girl. :)

BUT - knowing it was a girl triggered the worst panic attack I have ever had in my life. We lost our DD1 at 32 weeks, and in reality, I've never really dealt with it. I had convinced myself that if this pg was a boy, everything would be fine, etc, etc. The fact it is likely to be a girl has thrown me badly. I mean I should have been prepared because it was a 50/50 chance, but in reality, I'd convinced myself we were having a boy.

Cue a sobbing call to the midwife at the hospital, who actually was very good and calmed me down. DH agreed to a private reassurance scan, which I'm having tomorrow.

Today, I'd say I'm really struggling. My head is all over the place. I need a fish slap and convincing everythingIS fine.

squitz thanks for that clexane link. I've only had 3 jabs so far and am already bruised. I shall give it a go tonight and see how it goes x

I saw a little heartbeat :-) but they're dating it at 5+4 instead of the 6+6 that I thought. I did think that I had tested early and my cycles have been a week longer this year, and the sonographer also said her computer tends to date a week early at this stage. So I shouldn't worry...but I am worried because it's smaller than I thought it would be, and this could mean there's something wrong. Aargh. Fish please!!

Keep having to kick myself and remember that everything is ok today.

I won't get another scan before the dating one now so I'm planning on a private one in about 3 weeks time to bridge the gap.

Ahh quiet big hugs. I don’t think you need a fish slap. You went through a horrific ordeal, and there will be so many reminders with this pregnancy it's no wonder you've had a panic attack. A scan sounds like a good idea and I'm glad your midwife is understanding. Take things as easy as you can and try and accept the overwhelming emotions as part of the grieving process for your DD as well as the investment in this current pregnancy xxx

Quiet you definitely do not need any fish slapping just a very big hug. There are going to be moments where it hits you and I am glad your DH agreed to a private scan as I think constant reassurance is a good thing!

Cake - my scan is the day before yours (8th July) and I am already counting the days. DH couldn't come with me to my private one so this will be the first scan he will be with me at.

His parents visited at the weekend and his mum guessed I was pregnant she thought I was a lot further along judging by my huge belly! I had to explain that it was mainly just a bread belly as I have been eating so many carbs to help with the sickness

Like others this will be our last. We have one DS and if this baby arrives healthy then I will be so happy with that. We always said we would stop at two anyway.

Hi it's a while since I posted on this thread but thought I would update anyway as there's people that I feel I've been with through this whole journey. After 4 miscarriages and losing hope that we would ever have a bab, our beautiful baby girl was born by emergency section on Friday :) I wish you all the very best of luck, never give up hope.

Butterfly that is wonderful news !!! Congratulations

Just catching up, ended up in hospital yesterday as I started getting a pain in my lower right side which was excruciating, I also started losing lots of brown blood. In fact my whole abdomen felt like it was going to explode with pressure. They gave me something to get the pain under control then sent me home again. They refused to scan me saying that was EPU's job at my apt this Thursday and the admissions unit are banned from doing early scans. Still losing the brown blood but pain not as bad, I'm just really angry that they really appear to not care less! So I'm living on my nerves at the moment.

The midwife looking after me, upon finding out I miscarried at 12 weeks last month and have fallen pregnant straightaway, tut tutted and said "could you not hold your horses". We were told by the consultant it was fine to try straight away. Her whole attitude was very hostile which really made me feel like shit. Her parting words were "expect to miscarry, it's not looking great."

Sorry ladies for such a negative post, feeling really down right now.

Hi ladies can I join you?
Got a bfp yesterday after an early mc in Jan, after ttc since feb 2013. I'm absolutely bricking it and already convinced myself that it's just a matter of time before this one miscarries too. Think it's some sort of fucked up attempt at self preservation. Really annoying that I can't just be happy about it.
How on earth do you get the posifrickitivity going??

On top of that, I'm super busy with an exam and presentation coming up in the next week, neither of which I've prepared for, but can't concentrate ...
Feel free to give me a stiff talking to!

OhtheDrama I can't believe the responses that you've had. I really hope that on Thursday you get some reassurance and some sympathy. Your MW sounds dreadful, I wonder if it's worth you writing down all the shit you've had to deal with and passing it onto the GP or whoever. I'm pretty sure she's way out of line.

Sending you lots of positive thoughts

Congratulations Butterfly that's brilliant news.

Sending hugs quiet I can't imagine how you must be feeling! hope all goes well with your scan and it gives you some comfort.

Welcome to all those recently joined.

Thanks G&t. I'm kicking myself now that I didn't challenge her comments but I was in so much pain that I didn't have the energy to waste on her.

Congratulations butterfly

Welcome effin and congrats on your bfp, I had a mmc in jan and am now 12 weeks along, to be honest it's reeeeealy hard to get positive (esp before getting past the week of pregnancy where you lost your last baby and the dreaded 12 week scan) but you'll have days when you do just feel hopeful, we're here for those days when you just can't and need a hand hold and/or slap, everyone's brill here and going through/ have been through similar so we all understand x

oh I'm so sorry, how horrible to be In limbo until Thursday, could you call the epu and get a scan tomorrow at least? And report that b*tch you saw yesterday, what a cow, there was no need for you to wait to ttc again and there's nothing to say brown blood is def bad news, even the bad pains could be stretching or even unrelated. I hope you get seen tomorrow and all is well xxx

Oh the drama jeez that's awful, I'm so sorry.
I'd have thought you should have had a scan immediately as it could have been ectopic which would be an emergency.
What a bitchface mw. There is absolutely no medical reason to wait except to make dating easier. Perhaps complain if you feel up to it, and add your voice to the mn mc care campaign.

I'm so slow at typing! Stupid phone! X post with g&t but great minds, that's two votes for reporting her arse.

As an aside your names torture g&t because I really want five one!

Ooh TeaRex I can practically taste a G&T!

As for reporting, DH took a note of her name and said he's going to mention how distressing we found her attitude when we go to the EPU on Thursday.

Congratulations butterfly xxx

ohthedrama I'm so sorry you've had such crap responses, I'd definitely report that mw, horrible cow! As for brown blood, I've become a bit of an expert (unfortunately!) in bleeding and brown means old blood so this is much better than seeing fresh red. Of course I'm not trying to say don't worry it'll all be fine but I've been under the care of an expert in fetal medicine who told me that as scary as any bleeding is, brown is not something they usually worry too much about and I very much hope your scan confirms it. Hand holding xx

Lovely to see more newbies here, welcome and today you are pregnant!

Can I ask a question please ladies? Do your symptoms come and go? Mine are really all over the place - some days feel awful, metal taste, sore boobs, starving, other days, nothing at all. I'm 10wks and it's driving me even more mad. I had virtually no symptoms at all when I had dd so this is all a bit new to me. When do symptoms start to disappear 'normally'?

With all the sadness of yesterday forgot my own news.
20w scan (at 21+2) yesterday, baby is fine although was sleeping and shy. Placenta is anterior, which I half-guessed as my movements have been quieter than I'd expect. Baby is also currently breech, but too soon to worry about that (will start thinking about posture and exercise though as by the time was detected last time was too late to do much). Some sucking of thumb going on, but baby was too shy for a good picture. Will be asking for a position scan at my next consultant appointment (30w iirc), as there is no point in planning for a VBAC if baby isn't in a good position to deliver that way.
Glad to see newbies here celebrating, and fingers crossed for drama that things improve. Seriously do report her, that wasn't a sensitive or helpful thing to say.

OK, just to show the level of madness going on in my head, I have a question. Please have fish ready if appropriate!

A bit like Cakebaker I keep having days where I feel fine and of course assume that that means something dreadful has happened. So..... as I'm only 5 weeks 4 days would a CB digital test or two or three tell my if my hormone levels are rising? Trying to reassure myself while I wait for EPU appointment on 4th July.

Also, thinking of name change as you're all right and a G&T would certainly go a long way to releasing some stress!

G&T I suppose they are a rough guide but can't really pinpoint exactly. The most reliable way is a blood test. My HCG levels have always risen very slowly in the first 6 weeks and I can see how those clearblue tests would cause me unnecessary worry.

gandt glad to know you feel the same, but sorry you do too if that makes sense! As for cb digital, hmm I think they're the work of the devil! That's because I used them last time and they showed a rise even though I'd actually had an mmc, that really messed with my head when I realised afterwards that my body had kept pumping out hormones even though it was all over. I think symptoms are just nature's way of messing with our minds sometimes!

And please don't name change, you're a lovely reminder of the my favourite drink I'll hopefully be having to celebrate if this pregnancy goes the distance!