New posifrickentivity thread for pregnancy after miscarriage.

[squizita]

Hand holding and fish slapping...

Thank you for the responses, very helpful and I'm very relieved that I might still be able to use the MW led unit as I really strongly didn't want an 'old fashioned' ward style birth. Home birth was a tempting thought when MW suggested, but MW led seemed more appealing as I'd like to try water birth & renting/filling/emptying a pool at home sounds like a right faff-about!. Also, I had surgery in the same unit as the nearest maternity ward/MW unit yesterday and its a LONG drive if anything went wrong at home, its also next to a football stadium, so having a home labour calamity on match day doesn't bear thinking about - oh the chaos!

Pea, or a tissue sample, was being sent to pathology, I asked if it would reveal a cause and the EPU nurse said that was extremely unlikely :-( Sonographer's best guess was some kind of chromosonal abnormality but I suppose they're only more thorough in investigation if its not the first miscarriage.

I saw the sonographer save an image at the scan yesterday so I'm going to call tomorrow and see if there's any way I can get a print to keep. I really didn't think I wanted one yesterday & was too shocked to think to ask, but I do now, I can't really explain why. I think I just want to keep some 'real' trace of this little person we loved very much and who made us so happy for a few short weeks. Yes, it will be painful to see him/her again, but I think it will help me to grieve and move on.

I stopped bleeding & cramping a few hours after surgery and we're currently looking at waiting for at least one natural period, then trying again, but obviously if either of us doesn't feel mentally ready by then we'll wait a bit longer. I'd like to be at least 'slightly' pregnant again before Pea's due date if possible though (Jan 27th), my fingers are crossed and I'm thinking positive thoughts :-)

mrsr84 I think the tissue sample is to test if it is a molar pregnancy? I had one sent off after my ERPC.

Or sometimes they check for genetic and / or chromosomal issues too with the sample.

Wanting the picture isn't weird mrsr. When the dickhead sonographer who spotted my first miscarriage said "do you want to see"? I said no, originally as didn't think I wanted to look at a dead baby - but I then changed my mind. And I also have photos of this pregnancy from when it was a little speck on the screen - just so I have proof that it did exist and there was a little life going on in there that was part of me and my Husband.

Didn't explain that the sonographer was a dickhead because he was the most obnoxious, arrogant and insensitive medical professional I have met. 'Luckily' I got him again when I was admitted to hospital for suspected ectopic for another pregnancy. But ever since I've been seen by the nicest, most empathetic doctor I've ever met who got me through my last miscarriage and the early days of this pregnancy.

Mrs 84, I still have the pregnancy tests (with now very faint positive lines from my first pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage last year - I now have (all 7) from my current pregnancy too, I will keep all of them so I think you should definitely get the scan, it will help healing your loss (gosh, I now have tears rolling down my cheeks just writing this!)

This is a very emotive time and I really understand where you are at. I experienced a MC this very time last year, my little bean would have been due on Jan 9th 2014.

Two weeks after this date I conceived and I'm now 27 weeks - all being well baby will arrive in Oct.

I had a terrible 'sonographer' experience too, wanted to shoot the f&&6er - after the event - cold insensitive dickhead - yes, that's a good word! I just wonder where some of them get their training...

Anyway, I hope things move onwards for you in the right direction and that baby dust is sprinkled into your life again soonest. It's tough and days can be difficult early on (and later even, says she blinking away tears on the train!)
BUT lots of us do try again and get BFP's so I really do wish you all the best.

X

Take care.

Mrs r so sorry for you my lovely. Please take good care of yourself.

Feeling sick here, so very sick, reassuring as had next to none yesterday but did have heavy sore norks. Horrid vivid dream about the next scan fish slap needed!

Midwife booked in did the forms and rebooked for two weeks time for blood work etc. joy.

Mrs g, I'd make a complaint about said consultant to be honest and ensure you make enough noises s it takes to ensure you have the birth you want

Big waves hope everyone else is ok.

keepingthefaith where you based? Wonder if it was the same twat sonographer I met!! Not that usual for it to be a man I don't think!!
I had a thing afterwards about male doctors etc but my consultant is male and lovely - and really understanding about my fears. He even wrote about it in my notes and letter to doctor!

Fedup - I saw the sonographer from hell at Central Middlesex - now I'm at Northwick Park, West London and much happier with the service there - I saw a male sonographer in May who was lovely - I think it's just luck.

My GP is also male and really fab so I think I was just really unlucky with the twat at CM!!

Have another scan at NWP on Aug 26th to check out placenta - still a bit of bleeding going on, just a trace - still not sure if I should be panicking - will go see midwife tomorrow I reckon.

Happy Thursday Folks.

mrs84 Just wanted to add my voice to the other ladies - agree with everything they say. I'm so sorry for your loss. The pain of losing a baby is traumatic. Once the shock wore off I found myself with overwhelming grief followed by anger and a feeling of profound unfairness. Give yourself and your DH lots of time to grieve and there is lots of support here on MN. I found having some RL support very important too, but it was the MN support where people really did understand exactly what you are going through the most helpful in dealing with it. Like keeping I feel very emotional thinking about my losses (1 MMC and 1 MC) even 18 months on and pregnant again, and I found it difficult not to be very hurt when everyone around me (it felt) fell pregnant. I guess what I want to say is be very, very, very kind to yourself and give yourself lots of time. I know the feeling well of being desperate to be pregnant again by the EDD of your first - again, try not to put pressure on yourself - I had read so many stories about people getting pregnant straight after a loss that I felt even more down when this didn't happen for me. Expect to feel very emotional around that time no matter what your situation is. Thinking of you.

MrsR84, I'm so sorry for the loss of your little bean. The support here is wonderful but make sure you and your DH take lots of time and get all the support you need from Real Life also. Thinking of you x

MrsR84 I'm so sorry for your loss it really is absolutely heartbreaking xxx

Had my 16 week scan and I'm very pleased to say that baby is healthy and growing as they should be. Also the area of bleeding couldn't be found by the sonographer so she thinks it's probably resolved it's self :) very relived and very happy and might spend the next 24 hours feel

*ing positive about this pregnancy :)

Ok - so after Tuesdays drama with the consultant I'm having a mini freak out now.

Have been feeling a bit poorly today, a bit heart burny and swollen (probably the heat) so checked my notes from Tuesday with the consultant to check I hadn't missed anything. I went from 81kg to 84.6kg in a week, so a 7.9lb weight gain and my BP went from a very normal 120/60 to 140/72. I had NAD in my wee, and the consultant said everything was normal so can wait 2 weeks to see the midwife

Now I'm not dissing the consultant but I'm concerned she's missed possible pre eclampsia what with that weight gain in a week and jump in BP. Am I just being paranoid?

mrsg, I think given the stress of that appt your bp may be a bit inaccurate. Those values are thoroughly normal (you would need to have a diastolic above 90 before they started to worry about you), and there was nothing in your urine. Were you wearing something thick e.g. jeans or a jumper? Were they the same scales as last week? I don't think that 3kg is a big deal, but call your MW if you're worried.
Mini fish slap, but do call and let them know if you're freaking out.

tearex good to hear your great scan news. I would recommend calling your MW if you are worried. 3kg from 81kg is 3.7%, which does sound a lot for a week.

The second part is to mrsg. I blame the phone!

Corpe sarnie - my BP was taken before the consultant appointment started. And I was wearing the same clothes as came from work (have a uniform). I think I'm just freaking out as it's all so stressful to be honest, I'm further now than when I had DS but I'm just so scared something will go wrong again. Fish slap much appriciated x

one toddler I though it seemed a lot too :-S

If your worried about pre eclampsia mrsg can't you make an appointment to see your gp or midwife before your next appointment? Doesn't sound like your having a great time of it at the moment sending hugs

I just don't want to bother them over something that's probably nothing. Let's be honest, the consultant knows more than the midwife doesn't she?! Urgh. I hate this all to be honest x

If it puts your mind at ease if it is just a call I would do it mrsg might do you good to talk over all your concerns from that appointment with your midwife anyway and 2 weeks is a relatively long time for it to play on your mind pretty sure your midwife won't have a problem with you calling to talk over concerns with her :) either way I hope your feeling better about everything soon :)

It's called the midwife and she's asked me to go up to the hospital be assessed. Will let you know what goes on

Started bleeding heavily this morning, and think I have miscarried. Was 6+1 today and saw what looked like gestational sac (little lump of grey tissue) with all the clots. GP has referred me for EPU scan tomorrow. I just want confirmation that I've lost it. Feeling quite discouraged.

Glad you called mrsg hopefully you'll get some answers and reassurance.

So sorry psmith sending huge hugs

MrsG and psmith hope you're both okay and assessments/scans show all's well