New posifrickentivity thread for pregnancy after miscarriage.

[squizita]

Hand holding and fish slapping...

mrsg that sounds horrible!

Has anyone had sciatica? I have the most awful pain I'm my back, just on one side going down my leg and I think that's what it is. I'm really suprised as I thought it was something that came in later pregnancy and I'm really concerned if it's this bad now what it will be like later!

Happily have a search on YouTube for some yoga exercises for sciatic pain, I found that helped a lot last time. What stage are you at now?

CorporeSarnie what you say about pelvis shape makes sense. (However I'm not medical so I wouldn't know). That's probably why both of yours are breeched, and both mine have always been head down through out. Ofc I don't know if the one will turn into breech later as the MW told me they could still move until quite late into the pregnancy. But it's a relieve to hear it's already head down at my 28 week appointment.

mrsg how dare they write something in your notes that is a blatant lie? I am astounded. No wonder you are angry.

amicable you've hit the nail on the head I think, it's the fact she's lied on my notes. I'm a 27 year old, well educated woman and she's treated me like an idiot. I've got the midwife next week, and I'm going to speak to her about it. And I'm going to refuse the ECV. Breech birth naturally is not something I will do! Thanks for the support ladies xx

Hey everyone, Currently 17+1 which is really scary to say outloud. I have had a period of feeling down etc, and convincing myself there was something wrong. Yesterday I had the midwife - this was an additional appointment as they couldn't find the heartbeat last time. That time I went for a scan, but they still need to hear it.
They found it fine yesterday and I had no need to worry.
I don't know how to get out of this funk!
HappilyMarried - I started out in week 8-9 with the most horrendous pain in my Bum, which travels down my leg. However its not as bad the further I go on. A friend of mine has SPD and told me to mention it to the midwife to get reffered to the Pyhsio therapist which I am going to tomorrow - so fingers crossed I get some news!

MrsG How awful!! A MW once advised me to 'stick like glue' to the chair at the end of any consultation until you've read the notes and hand them back if there are any errors... after she couldn't read a consultant's Dr scrawl on mine! Not as serious at all as your situation, but it's scary they write these things which others will follow if they're incorrect.
I would definitely ring and ask for a second opinion. Reckon if you push they'll make it happen. She says who is burying her head in the sand re birth but will HAVE to ask about it next appointment.

I have a fish-slappable fear of stillbirth or my clotting disorder causing a thrombosis in the few days/weeks before birth. There isn't, as far as I know, a medical precedent for this, I'm just being a scaredy pants. I'm not seriously APS, it just messes with placenta formation in the 1st 15 weeks (the rest of the injections are just a precaution): by now, if m placenta started to grit up they'd notice on a scan and induce anyway.

I'm feeling so rough today. Feel sick and dizzy and worried as a result. Tired as well. How do I decide what is just normal and when I should go to midwife or doctor? Although not really sure I have the energy to do either :(

Sorry - just feeling crap and worried for the baby.

fedup I don't know. I'm feeling so tired all the time. And have no appetite. How bad is the dizziness? Can you function normally still? If you can't, maybe it's time to give your MW a call and see if it's normal? When's your next appointment. I'm under normal MW care, so I don't see them for long stretches of time. (It is 8, 16, 28, 36 weeks iirc for me). But ladies here see them a lot more.

fedup if your worried call your midwife or gp even if you just talk to them in the phone and get some reassurance if it's and help though dizziness has been something I've had allot of with my ms and gp said it's low blood sugar. If your worried though call someone :) hope your feeling better soon

Thanks so much one and baby

I decided to have two chocolate biscuits and a tea and feeling bit better. Eating cereal at 6 am didn't seem to help. So perhaps it's blood sugar. Have underlying sick feeling though.
I can still function - just couldn't cope with going in to work today, and feel so tired just existing. I don't feel dizzy when sitting / lying down - just standing still.

My next mw appointment is Monday when I will be 28 + 3. I haven't seen a mw since 16 weeks with second babies they just seem to leave you. Although I did see a consultant at 18 weeks and all usual BP and urine checks ok.

Baby has started moving more after the biscuits so feel reassured that he/ she is hopefully ok.

Pregnancy is so stressful. I do want to just wake up in October with healthy baby in my arms. Just like we all would want!
It's so helpful to be able to share fears on here. I feel with my AN thread they don't really want to know if feeling stressed / worried about mc or stillbirth - hence why I didn't join til way past 12 week scan. I guess mc just turns you into a loon but I take comfort in being surrounded by fellow loons who get the irrational fear. Thanks ladies

Hi all just dropping in to see how everyone is.

I'm now 8+2. I have another scan on Friday after my early one 2 weeks ago where we saw the heartbeat :) however, I'm now worrying about Friday in case there's an issue. I'm terrible for panicking.

mrsg, sometimes with clinicians, I think it is a case of hearing what they want to hear - we make a non-committal 'hmm' noise and they hear "yes, I'm happy to give that a shot". But no way should they foist an ECV on you, and I would resort to whatever it takes to get your ELCS if that is what your heart is set on (I am not averse to histrionics when needed). They need your consent (and a signature) to undertake that procedure. Unfortunately the same doesn't apply for VBAC over ELCS, so I agree that for once it would be nice if baby didn't turn itself.
Under circs that my one turns, I do feel like I'd rather have ELCS than VBAC, so many of my friends had terrible experiences with their first babies, having to return to redo the patch up job; my own mother had stress incontinence for 20+ years until they finally gave her a hysterectomy, that my short and relatively easy EMCS recovery looks simple by comparison. I did get the guilt of not having birthed 'properly' from my NCT teacher, but no-one else.
fedup, glad you are feeling a little better. I think tiredness is part of 3rd tri, but if you aren't well enough to go to work you need to see someone and get your iron levels checked, and the results could be with your MW for your next appt. I would give her a call and see if you can go to wherever the local phlebotomy clinic is to get some bloods drawn.

fedup poor you it definitely sounds like you need to try and eat a bit more regularly, keep flapjacks, nuts or that sort of thing close to hand. I've had spells of feeling massively dizzy and tired and have found if I make myself eat every couple of hours then it seems to help - I am like a cow I'm grazing so much x

seasalt scans are always just scary, you want to have them to see what's what but you're terrified of bad news - completely natural and normal to feel like you do, I wish I had a magic wand to make that horrible worry go away for you and everyone else. It's really positive you've seen a heartbeat so try and focus on that she says having had loads of scans but still freaking out before each one!

mrsg I meant to say I spoke with my gp before ttc a second time as I had such a grim birth experience with dd (failed forceps/emergency section and a whole load of fun besides) that I wanted to understand what choices I had. If I had no choice at all then I would have had to think very hard about having a second child as vbac scares me to death. I haven't totally ruled it out but almost. I just wanted to understand the process for elcs. My gp explained the nice guidelines really well and also that it's not a simple case of physically looking at a patient but they also have to consider your mental well being and the impact it could have on you in terms of pnd etc. She said she would be happy to write to the consultants in support of my choice to have an elcs if I choose to go that way. She said she has never yet come across anyone who was refused one at our nhs trust as guidelines really don't allow for anyone to be forced into anything, so I am really angry for you that it's happening. Not sure what your relationship is like with your gp but it may be worth a conversation with them as well as your mw.

mrsg I'm so sorry you've had such a horrible appt, I can only agree with what's been said. Stand your ground make it clear what you want no conversation. I hope your midwife helps sort things for you x

Afm, not been posting too much, convinced it's going to be bad news at my 16 wk scan tomorrow, have moments of being positive but really just dreading it. Also at home as was hurling non stop at work this morning fedup but a nap seems to have helped but the thought of food turns my stomach again. If you find a magical food/drink that helps let me know x

Been for my 9 week scan today at a private centre, was really freaking out before hand. Not much helped by a very over the moon dad to be coming out of the sonographer's room waxing lyrical about the 4D scan they had had and the DVD that they were going to get . DH just clammed up so I kept asking him questions while he waited for his wife to come out of the loo!!

Anyway, all was fine and we saw the heart and little stumpy legs and arms. Feel really daft that I still can't relax into this and be happy.

Also finding clothes a bit tight at the mo and somehow feel that I'm jinxing it by going into maternity stuff before 12 weeks. How did the rest of you feel?

mrsg we're all behind you! Stick to your guns, it is your body and your baby! what cake says makes total sense about the fact they need to consider the whole being physical and mental before making a decision. FX you can see someone with a bit more sense and the whole thing isn't any more stressful than it already has been.

tea good luck tomorrow.
fedup do hope you are feeling better tomorrow. How yukky for you.

Your all so lovely. I've made a list of issues to discuss with the midwife next week.

I'm glad to see so much positive scan news too, but so sorry so many of you are feeling wobbly too :-( pregnancy is meant to be fun and exciting, not scary xx

G&T totally understands how you feel wearing maternity clothes before 12 weeks. I have that too so I resorted to dresses and tunics with leggings. They seem to stretch better, and being summer, it should be easy to find floating dresses for the next 3 weeks.

Go for it mrsg! I agree with everyone else when they say all aspects need to be considered, including the emotional / mental health side. They can't force you into anything or misinterpret your wishes lie on your notes!

Having spent the day working at home and dosing up on chocolate biscuits I feel better than I did this morn. Although still feeling very fragile and like I could cry at anything too. Thanks for your support. The magic food for me normally is sparkling water and monster munch tea

Great news re scan g&t! And yes, as you can see - I don't seem to be able to relax. Think it's what mc does to you. But it is looking good and promising for you so try be postifrickintive and hopefull! I too didn't dare wear any maternity stuff til post 12 week scan despite really needing too. Had two work dresses that fitted me and wore th solidly from about 4 weeks!

Hi all :-)

In need of some serious posifrick...whatever it is right now. We had our 12wk scan at 9.30am yesterday and by 6.30pm I was coming round from surgery - they reckon our little 'Pea' died some time during the past week and it was probably something wrong with the baby which meant he/she couldn't have developed, even though the image on the screen looked anatomically fine. They couldn't find a heartbeat and crown to rump was consistent with 11 weeks. Two sonographers agreed.

This was our first, very much planned and wanted, baby and I'm 29 years old. There's no MC history on my side at all (MiL has had a few, but hubsters bro & wife had a baby recently, no MCs as far as I know) and I was considered 'low risk' as I run, eat healthily and am a healthy weight. I'd had a couple of very occasional suspected round ligament cramps and some very lightly brown tinted discharge for a good few weeks, which MW assured me sounded OK.

We definitely want to try again, but does this make me 'high risk' and unable to use an MW led birthing unit now? Also, can I request an earlier scan to put my mind at rest next time? Am I right to assume that any MC warning symptoms aren't really worth checking out, because there's nothing that can be done to stop it?

Feeling really sad right now, a bit traumatised by the whole thing (its like it was all a nightmare) & scared that it might happen again, but keeping positive and looking forward to a fresh start in a new house.

mrsr84 sorry to hear about your loss. Firstly about future birth. I had two MCs and am 39. I am now 30 weeks pregnant. I am still considered low risk. My care is MW led and I will be going to the midwife led unit in the local hospital. I was asked by two midwives if I would consider a home birth. But being at least 20min away from the hospitals in good traffic I don't feel safe with that choice.

Secondly with the early scans. This depends on the trust. Mine is rubbish with early pregnancy care. I can't self refer to EPU. No early scans are offered. In fact for both of my MC I was told to sit it out at home. My first I panicked and went to the A&E, waited a whole afternoon and they gave me a stick to pee on. No scan offered. They just said if I didn't stop bleeding in 2 weeks go to the GP. Second MC was after the 12 week scan with a blighted ovum. I bled so heavily I was admitted immediately. (Think blood all over my trousers despite using their big absorbent pants). I was told I would be referred to a consultant for RMC if I had 3 consecutive MCs. So when pregnant with my current bean, I didn't have any special care. Just the standard for subsequent pregnancy.

By the way there is a thread for those TTC after MC in the conception board. A very friendly bunch there. Many of us are graduates from there.

Hi mrsr so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. And so awful to get to the scan and find out your little pea had died :(

Cramps and brow spotting are, as your mw said, quite normal. And don't necessarily mean bad things or were linked to the loss of your baby.

Re high risk status. Can I ask if they took the baby away for any tests? If they did this might conclude something that could mean you were monitored more closely in early pregnancy to check things are ok with scans etc. but shouldn't mean you can't give the MW led unit a whirl. It all depends on what your next pregnancy is like.

I've had two mcs and still allowed to use the mw led unit of all is ok and I want too (I have a child already which was a difficult birth and that is the only reason, not the miscarriages, for why I wouldn't be allowed to use the mw led unit is if it's in the wrong position or I require induction or a long labour when I will need a c section)

And you can request an early scan but not all areas give you one as standard after a miscarriage. But you can pay for them ranging between about £50 and £100. But if there were identified complications with the baby you lost, they might do earlier testing with your next pregnancy. I had 4 scans in the first trimester - one I paid for, three by NHS. But their reasoning was suspected ectopic and miscarriage history.

Hope that answers your questions to some sort of degree of helpfulness! When you are ready to start trying again (please let yourself grieve this one and give yourself time to heal) the ttc after miscarriage thread - posifrickintivity one is great for people dealing with the awfulness after miscarriage and trying to get pregnant after mc. Here we support each other through the scary of being pregnant after miscarriage.

Also, you can't really stop a miscarriage no once it's happening - but worth getting tjjjngs check out once you are about six weeks as those symptoms can also turn out to be nothing and there is a healthy growing bean in there!

Evening ladies - sorry to hear about those of you feeling knackered and nauseous - I seem to be knackered all the time atm a but maybe this is norm for 27 weeks.

Def stick to ur guns Mrs G.

On another note after the dramas of the weekend (with trip to hospital for obvs after bleeding) I've started getting a bit more blood - nothing major and it's pink rather than red - is this normal - shd I worry?

Any thoughts appreciated - baby is moving fine so she seems okay.

Am thinking this might just be my placenta (which is low)