New posifrickentivity thread for pregnancy after miscarriage.

[squizita]

Hand holding and fish slapping...

Hi all... just off to my whooping cough jab. Have heard it's a slow-burner, hoping I don't have a numb/achey arm for days!

squizita I had it yesterday and I only felt saw when I did my exercise DVD.

In need of a huge fish slap I don't know what's wrong with me today but I can't shake the feeling something is going to go wrong and I'm gonna lose this baby no reason to feel like it but I just can't shake it anyone else had this?

Oh sorry I'm not pregnant (yet) hopefully will join soon. Take care & thanks for replying

Hello all, just reading back on all the posts I've missed since Saturday. Glad to see some good scan results.

Got a private scan booked tomorrow at 9 weeks. Not sure if anyone knows the stats of mc after seeing hb at 9 weeks? Feel like this is a real milestone and would love to be able to relax if all is well if stats are in my favour.

G&T It's 95%+ as far as I know. :) Pretty good milestone.

Bless, the whooping cough nurse had me look away for the injection. Scared of needles, me... more like sick of the sight by now!

Thanks squizita. Just wishing away the next three weeks . Hope your arm's not too sore after the jab x

For those with ms, I was given a new remedy while away: someone gave me a really cold glass of fresh orange juice. I really didn't want to drink it, but being polite had a sip, then a huge gulp! Really seemed to hit the spot and felt less sicky for a bit. Don't know why, but might be worth a go?

Great scan news cake and mrsg

Been a bit absent last couple of days as feeling awful (sick, tired and achy) but more so got this irrational fear of stillbirth :( Can not shake the worry. Huge fish slap please

Got a rant ladies I'm afraid. Grrr just need to vent. Just had consultant today, and they've said as baby is still breech I need a scan at 36 weeks. And if baby is still breech they will turn baby so I can have a vaginal birth. I said I don't want a vaginal birth, and listed all my concerns about it and why I wanted a c section (scared of needing an emergency one in labour, pain during sex and smears etc so scared of tearing, don't want baby manually turned from the outside due to risks etc) and she just turned around and said no, and I was in tears and she said "think of the women who give birth in the jungle with no help, be thankful your in a country with the NHS" and then "if you do tear it will just be repaired in theatre" and then wrote in my notes I'm happy and keen to have a vaginal delivery, which I'm fucking well not. Really upset and cross now. Hating being pregnant now, really want it to be over x

Oh Gawd, just had a massive attack of (possibly unreasonable) pregnancy rage. Got on bus home from work (DD loves the bus, and it saves parking space misery), to find a mum with a buggy sitting in the fold-down seat and a student with a massive suitcase taking up all the remaining spare space.
I threw a PA huff and puff rage about having to go in aisle/figure out how to stack the buggies. Fold-down seat mum just sat there in the space (which is more than enough for two buggies).
Fair enough, but... Both buggies were empty (DD likes to sit on a seat on the bus, presumably the other woman was en route to pick up her kid). So other than my being pg and having shoved all my possessions in the basket, both could perfectly well have folded. Fold-down seat mum sat there playing with her phone and looking smug whilst I fumed. For all of 5 mins.
Gah! Am torn between thinking she was a b1tch and could have been much more helpful to a tired fellow mum handling a toddler whilst quite obviously pg, and that I was being a cow. Am I going to be this angry and trivial for the next 4 months?!?

Fedup fish slaps and also understanding hand hold - its all bloody scary and sometimes I just wish we could all switch our brains off until the end of this madness.

Corpore I think she sounds like a tit and should have moved - also nothing wrong with being trivial while pregnant! You kind of have a claim to it!!

MrsG Oh my goodness that is terrible. I really think that you should ask to speak to another consultant about this. There's no way you should have been dismissed or made to feel unlistened to and what she put on your notes in not true. Is there someone else in the team you could see/ speak to? It sounds like this should be addressed before they start trying to do stuff to you that you don't want to happen. Pretty sure they can't make you have a manual turn attempt?

MrsGiraffe that is awful. Not sure who to raise it with (if it was a midwife I'd say supervisor of midwives, but not sure what you do with a consultant), but have a read of the NICE guidelines re maternal request for ELCS and contact your hospital's PALS department... Really on your behalf!

mrsg that sounds like a terrible consultant! My baby is also currently breech and kinda diagnol but the midwife jus says hel turn, but if he stays that way I fully plan on refusing to have him manually turned due to the risks and the fact it's only effective in 50% of cases, they deffiently can't make you have that procedure and I thought that meant they had to give u a ceaserian if the baby is breech? I think you should ask for a different consultant and demand your notes be changed, I'd be fuming aswell if I was you!

corpore I have to say that would have made me very angry aswell, my pregnancy rage gets worse on a weekly basis now and not pregnant id have jus kept quiet n fumed to myself, but now I'd deffiently have said something to her, people are so inconsiderate!

Thanks all. It was a different consultant to the one I normally see, and aparently I don't need to see one again other than if baby is still breech in a month. I have highlighted the "happy and keen for vbac" in my notes and written that I'm not. I'm just going to flat out refuse the ECV, as far as I'm aware they will have to do a c section then. I'm just so angry and upset and have spent most of the afternoon in tears now. Am going to raise it with my midwife when I see her next week and see what she says. I'm glad I'm not being irrationally angry about this x

mrsg a lot of the doctors just don't listen do they? Why don't they just be honest and say the NHS can't afford the c-sections and so they had to try everything to avoid them? I much rather people be honest about it. Most likely the turning won't work and they will have to give you a ELCS. Or maybe I'm just try to look on the bright side.

corpore I will be fuming too.

I know the c section is major surgery etc but for me personal having read all the risks regarding vbac, ecv, breech vaginal etc it's just not a risk I'm willing to take (I mean vaginal breech, ecv or vbac). Add in the hernia too, and that this will be our last baby, well I'm just happier over all with the c section.

I just wish they were honest. If she had said we can't do this for x y z reason and explained why etc and in more depth what I can expect from either vbac, ecv or vaginal breech, the risks involved, what monitering id get etc I would have been a lot happier (well, more understanding) but as it is she treatede like a stupid little girl and that's what's makes me more angry than anything I guess.

I'm just praying that baby doesn't turn now (one in a million mother I guess, most mums want a cephalic baby and I'm hoping mine doesn't go cephalic) and that I can't be forced for the ecv x

Oh, mrsG, I am so for your situation.
Having been through breech pregnancy, a failed ecv and subsequently emcs at 36 weeks, there is no way anyone should be forced to go through any procedure that they aren't happy with. Is there any way that you can ask to see another consultant? I change anything in my notes which is incorrect and initial it too (dream patient, me ).

mrsg that is awful and you must make a complaint. As others have said the nice guidelines say they must consider your wishes and this person is blatantly not. Do you have a supportive gp? They can also write on your behalf. I'm full of rage on your behalf!

Well another day and another bloody scan here thanks to yet more bloody bleeding. After 2 weeks without any I really thought that might be that, but no my body seems insistent on scaring the crap out of me. Scan showed baby still seems fine but they can't figure out why I'm bleeding. No obvious clot in the scan like before so it could be that I have just a small tear or abrasion that doesn't show on the scan. Basically this could just go on and on. I'm feeling so pissed off (hence all the sweary mary worlds, sorry) as it's hard enough being preg after mc without all this too. Anyway epu very kind and gave me their direct number, you're not normally able to self refer here but they said they've made an exception so I can call and go up if/when it happens again.

Can someone please put me to sleep and wake me up in Jan?!

mrsg I didn't know you had a c section last time. I thought it is standard to offer ELCS for people who had a c section? I guess we are back to the postcode lottery again aren't we? I didn't know ECV is dangerous but from what you are saying it is not a simple thing at all! Sorry if I came across wrong. I thought it is like a bit of massaging and most likely they won't be able to get the baby into head down and will have to offer a ELCS. It sounds like they can make you wait for labour even if breeched? I thought again breech babies are always offered c sections. How wrong am I!

I think your consultant is awful but I suspect the reason you are refused is not medical. But a cost cutting measure. Ie they are told to cut target c sections by a certain amount. I have to say no to requests for help all the time at work. My boss sets out the priorities and I have to keep the teams work to the approved agenda. It is horrible when I know things should be done but they aren't high priority enough to get looked at at all

cake time will fly. I can promise that. I can't believe I have only 2.5 weeks of work left.

Thanks for bladder warning - I am glad I'm not alone!!
Had a very small smidgeon of blood again this eve, more pink than red - accompanied by very faint period like pain - wondering what to do .... seems to have stopped ...
Am thinking maybe this is just going to be ongoing..
Baby is still wriggling about ...
Oh this pregnancy lark - it's a daily roller coaster ain't it just?!

Sorry ladies, my phone did not update and hence I missed a massive chunk of updates in my last post - which I've just re read. Mrs G - shocking way to be treated as everyone else says. I have a friend quite senior in the NHS who says that patients who can evidence that this will cause psychological damage from another professional are pretty much guaranteed the C section so I would push for support from GP, midwife or other professional.

Corpore - sadly despite the fact we are mothers (or mums to be) not all women are part of the sisterhood!)
I'd be fuming too!

Cake - sorry to hear you are worrying so frequently but happy to hear the scan shows a growing baby and hope all stays stable from this point on.

onetoddler no worries, you've come across as nice and friendly in all your messages. From what I've read ECV after previous section (especially where they give you muscle relaxers) increases your risk of uterine rupture along the c section scar. Obviously this is still a very low risk, but just not one I'm willing to take. I'm very much suspecting it's all to do with cost savings and reducing c section numbers. I'll be speaking to my midwife about this next week for sure. I guess if they dont budge though I'll have to attempt the vbac, though they only left you labour for 12 hours here with vbac before going to section.

Why is getting pregnant / staying pregnant / pregnancy / birth so tough on some people, and so easy for others :-( having a not fair moment here x

MrsG I'd be furious. I have been told (so far) that I have the choice of ELCS or VBAC but if they change their mind I'd be devastated. I'm 28 weeks and having a scan at 32 to see if placenta has moved and give final decision on delivery to consultant. If she says I can't have a section after all I don't know what I'll do!

No, I don't yearn for an operation but I think it is the right decision for me and my baby. They should not be allowed to lie in your notes.

My friend is being encouraged to have an ECV and I knew there were some risks but this just reminds me to mention it to her again - at the moment she is not informed. It might well be safe for her but doctors do like to say it's simple when it may not be. Rrrrr.

hamster, I would not have another ecv. If baby has been flipping I think there is a chance that it will work, also a chance that baby will flip of own accord. But if, as was
my case, baby has been breech for months (28-36wks), I think it is probably due to pelvis shape and not likely to work.
So far it looks like this one is breech too at 24 weeks, although with anterior placenta it is harder to tell between scans. My early consultant visit was positive and they gave me leaflets on vbac and successive cs. I would kick off if they ask me to try ecv or vaginal breech delivery (they did try when I was in labour last time, I politely declined, the risk to baby is too high).
mrsg, you are allowed to seek a second opinion, and to refuse an ecv if you want. Try talking to your mw, she may know who is more supportive of elcs and be able to advocate for you. I have my fingers crossed for the outcome you want. Ultimately it is your body and your birth, and your right to choice.

mrsg really hope your ok after your horrible experience with the consultant I I probably would have had a full blown melt down. Surely they can't force you to have baby turned?? It's odd how different places can be with things like this my friend here had the opposite problem she had to fight to get vbac :s I hope it gets sorted for you got everything crossed for you that someone sees sense and listens to you