New posifrickentivity thread for pregnancy after miscarriage.

[squizita]

Hand holding and fish slapping...

Badgers - I am in a similar situationist getting harder and harder to keep it quiet. One person at work guessed and am going to have to tell my boss soon as he wants to send me on a training course for a project that I know I won't be working on. It is really hard to keep it quiet especially as I have started to show really early this time.

Badgersintheslurry- certainly tell your chiropractor!

I've actually chosen not to use my chiropractor this pregnancy, because the common denominator with all my early MC has been that I was having chiropractic treatment. I don't doubt that it's safe, as in my first pg, he quite literally saved my back, but this time I haven't had it, I had acupuncture instead and so far the bean seems to be sticking. Nothing more than my superstition really, but your chiropractor certainly needs to know.

Longest and mrsg I am so sorry to hear your news.

Scan for me tonight. I've been feeling like shit all day, so am bricking it a bit.

Good luck with your scan Quiet

Seasalt!

I actually meant to say earlier that all was well at my 25 week appt today. Heard baby's heart beat again, which was wonderful and been v happy all day long because of it.

Good luck Quiet

This is going to be a bit of a moan from me. This is my first baby, but DP already has two children. He and his family are acting a bit like it's MY third baby too. They've booked a family meal on my due date evening (DP will want to go even if I don't), his cousin wants him to help her with something the next day, and there's another meal booked for 9 days after baby is due.
I wish he and they would understand that I'm going to need him to be here, not out at a restaurant or someone else's house.

I know he'll be going to work but I can cope with that as that's necessary. This stuff isn't. And I know the baby might be late but that just means I'll be expected to take a few days old baby to the second meal, or to haul my overdue bump there. Grrr

Longest I'm really sorry to hear your sad news, I really hope your RMC referral gives you some answers.

MrsG so sorry you're going through this too.

Hope the scan goes well tonight and you get some comfort from it Quiet.

Scan for me in the morning. The last time I was in the EPU was just over 6 weeks ago having a D&C so I know I'm going to find just being there tomorrow upsetting. Trying not to to dwell too much on the 'what ifs' tonight. Off to finish off the packing for our holiday on Saturday.

Thanks everyone. Am bleeding properly now but feeling relatively calm. Nursery took dd for a few hours and dh and I went for a long walk. On the positive side I think we are more on the same page now. Till recently he seemed much more relaxed than me about ttc more inclined to think we had just been unlucky, which could feel a bit lonely sometimes. Feel very supported today. Even told boss who said not to bother working from home tomorrow, or Friday if I don't want to.

I have discovered the RMC thread and there are some familiar names on it so that gives me hope I might be back here one day. In the meantime thank you all and I wish you all well. Mrs G I hope your attorney has a happier ending than mine.

Hi all, can I gingerly join? I was a part of this thread I believe yonks ago under a different username but haven't posted on MN for over a year now.

Anyway, I'm 7+1 with my fourth pregnancy. I have a DS who's 3.6 and had 2 mcs last year, the first at 12 weeks in April, the second at 8 weeks at Christmas.

We stopped trying and lo, pregnant. And bloody terrified! I have bled a lot right from the beginning (literally, the day we conceived, thought it was my body having a very long, light period) so have had 2 scans so far, the latest was on Monday and I saw a heartbeat so that was reassuring (didn't see one before either lost pregnancy) but still pretty anxious. I've got another scan at 9 weeks, hoping heart will still be beating, etc.

Congratulations on everyone who's knocked up again, anyway.

And I am really sorry to those who have lost their latest pregnancy. I've read the whole thread and longest, I'm so sorry about your news. I have also been feeling that if I lose this one then the silver lining will be referral for testing as 3 in a row, and makes me wonder whether DS was a wee miracle. I shouldn't jump the gun yet, but I'm so sorry for you, and really hope you are looking after yourself and get some answers in the future, when you feel ready. Big fat to you...

Oh longest I'm so sorry to here your news. :( and mrsg :(
Mc doesn't get any less shit does it? Or any less unfair. Hope the RMC works out. And I was on the RM thread for a short whole too - lovely bunch over there.
Take care of yourselves and glad you had support and understanding xx

*have not had

quiet good luck for scan and fx it's all good
Welcome isabel and congrats on your bfp!

longestlurkerever I am sorry. I am glad you feel supported and that you and your DH are on the same page. It makes a difference when you are not facing things and feeling alone.

mrsgiblin1983 I hope that it is not what you fear.

londonjen brilliant that you had a good a good appointment!

nerdygirl do you want to spell it out to DH? Perhaps make it clear you hope he will be helping you in the first few weeks not going out so soon! Maybe he has forgotten what it was like with a newborn or he didn't support his ex fully anyway and has no idea what you are hoping will happen. Also, booked meals don't mean anything because he doesn't have to go, he can easily make excuses but it is probably better to start talking and see what he says.

Nothing much happening my end. I can't wait until I feel regular movements. But it will probably been a while. My feet are in such a state had to ask GP for pregnancy safe stuff for athletes foot. I know it will seem odd but I find these little things more demoralising than the gestational diabetes which sucks anyway!

Hello isabellnecessary, seasaltmill and anyone I have missed. Welcome!

Quiet hope the scan went well.

I will definitely tell my chiropractor! I'm really in two minds whether to carry on with it - it's been the only thing to relieve 15 years of upper and lower back pain and so I don't want to stop now when (I hope) I'm about to put more stress on it, but equally any possible MC trigger is not good news. I also wonder if it's actually helped me conceive - we'd been having a break from TTC when I started chiropractic treatment and my back was in quite a mess. I then fell pg literally the first cycle after starting trying again, lost that one, then fell pg again a month later - having DTD once, at the wrong time of the month, when I was massively stressed at work. After over 2 years of trying everything with no success, I wonder what's changed. I'd never believed the claims that chiropractic treatment could help anything other than bad backs so I'm quite sceptical, but if it works...

Sea how reassuring, hope it's just enough to feel pregnant but not too much!

Quiet & Badgers yep chiropracters need to be told, although it should be safe once they know. It's not a known cause of MC in any study I've read over the years.

London :) at the HB reassurance.

Nerdy how annoying. I would be tempted to 'invent' back pain if overdue or sickiness if with baby and get the quiet life.

isabell Hi! Hope all goes well.

Just to mention as a few people seem worried the "3 in a row" thing has NO medical significance: it's purely a numbers game. 1% of women is more affordable and practical to test on the NHS than 9-12%, so they say "3 in a row". Your chances remain the same as someone who has had 1 or 2 ... I believe they drop at 4 or 5 depending on age if there is no diagnosed cause.
Masses of women have a/another DC after 3. And 4. And 5. The main cause for those who don't is deciding not to try or test due to age/emotion: not that they strictly speaking "can't". :)

No news here. Got my 'counting kicks' band. Hasn't told me much more than I already know: lots of tiny kicks in the morning, lull in the afternoon, bursts of big kicks in the evening. But it's good to remind me they're happening.
St Marys have shoddy admin as per usual. My next appointment letter has the wrong patient number on it doh!! Everything else correct including name and DOB so clearly a computer error. Have emailed them to let them know. They don't look at the letter anyway, they look at the notes, so it shouldn't matter but I don't want my scan notes to be on different file systems.

mrsgiblin oh dear. Hope you are ok.

isabell welcome on board.

nerdy that's just not right with your DP. I would have gone ballistic if my DH did that to me. It's not our first too. You aren't being precious. He's just being a typical man, not understanding how hard it is with pregnancy and taking care of newborn.

sea I know exactly what you mean, it is odd being happy about feeling crap! My symptoms have now pretty much gone (fifteen weeks tomorrow) (apart from constant need to eat) and I am really struggling with not feeling pregnant. although I have put on a lot of weight that is really from all the carb scoffing that has been going on. Enjoy that sick feeling! As squiz says - you want a bit but not too much.

quiet - hope all was well with the scan.

nerdy - yikes, has he forgotten what it is like? Hopefully he is just being 'a man' as one says and can be talked out of it. You defo need him around and not committed to anything!

London - great news

isabell - welcome!

longest - thinking of you. Glad you are getting support and feel DH is on the same page. It really makes such a difference knowing you are totally in it together and in the same place.

Squiz Thanks for your post. It really helped to hear that. I am not too ancient yet (33) so I reckon I have a few more tries in me. It's good to know I still have a reasonable chance of dc2 one day, even if they don't find a cause. Dd will just have to make the most of being an only for a while longer.

PS lots of people on the RMC thread are recommending st Mary's. I am in London but a different nhs trust. Is it reasonably straightforward to get a referral there (if they don't lose the letter?)

After my joy at feeling sick yesterday I am panicking today at lack of soreness in my boobs compared to recently.

Symptoms come and go don't they? I am freaking out about nothing aren't I?

I did a digital test last night and got 3+! Yay! I'm 5+5 today by LMP which the EPU are going by, however, I think I'm more 5+3/4 by my ov/conception date.

Still feeling sicky. less than yesterday but its coupled with a headache and groggy feeling today. Lovely! x

Longest i found it relatively easy. What I did was get my EPU doctor to suggest it (wrote me a note) to my GP who sent the referral letter.
Their clinical care is excellent, but their new computer system means you get really odd letters and sometimes have to call for clarification.
Having said that I've never missed an appointment or anything like that: I'm just really pernickity about paperwork!

Morning all.
Thanks for the stats info squiz that is very useful to know indeed. We feel that everything should have a reason and a cause, and so when we've experienced it we can't help but expect it to happen again. But the sad truth is bad luck can strike more than once. Lots of my instadiffer friends who've had one seem to think they're somehow immune to a mc after that too.

Hi and congrats isabell

ohthe drama hand holds for your scan, it may well bring back some horrible feelings, but hopefully you're now on the way to recovery and the holiday will help.

nerdygirl I would go fucking ballistic at that. It's a momentous thing for you and they're acting like nothing should get in the way of their plans. Will you need him to drive you to hospital, be present at the birth, help with the emotion and lack of sleep dealing with a new baby? All these are reasons that neither of you can make firm plans around your due date. By all means go along to things if you want at the last minute, but I wouldn't be planning anything. Can you talk to him about what you need from him in terms of emotional and practical support?

I have a question for you: should I tell my personal trainer I'm pregnant? It's super early (only just found out on Monday so about 4 weeks). Last time I told her and I felt ridiculous when I had to then tell her I wasn't any more a couple of weeks later. That time, she'd said nothing needed to change until 12 weeks anyway. But I do a lot of core strength training with weights and don't want to do anything that might heighten the risk of another mc.

effin I believe your personal trainer is right in that you don't have to change your exercise routine till second trimester. That said, I was so sick I wouldn't be able to carry on. So I guess it's up to you if you want to say anything.

Actually yes, I think you aren't supposed to go out of breath still in your first trimester. However you can still lie down to do your core work. From the second trimester, you are not supposed to lie flat on your back anymore. Hope that makes sense.

One it is perfectly OK to be out of breath in your 1st trimester: you aren't meant to take on anything new or anything which strains you so much you cannot talk in a clear sentence (i.e. panting that much) or engage in contact sports. Many women continue to run and swim regularly.
With the lying down thing, there is a very slight increase in complications for women who only sleep on their back in the 3rd trimester with blood flow being reduced when the baby gets big (and of course most find this uncomfortable anyway so naturally sleep on their side) but most doctors and MW think that nature 'tells you' by making you feel crap if you do it too long!
My pregnancy Yoga class has me lie on my back and side and even upside down and it is a specific course for pregnancy.

I'm not that sporty but really read up/check with experts as to me it's really important from a mental health point of view (and to avoid patronising scare stories/old wives tales) to know what we can do. Any exaggeration can cause anxiety or guilt (if baby was prem for example) but do nothing to help the baby.
It seems to be very prevelant with post MC pregnancies, the amount of dire warnings and 'you shouldn't even stand up be doing that' can be overwhelming.