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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Early announcement

53 replies

CatFaceCrayola · 07/04/2014 22:41

How early have you guys made your pregnancy public knowledge. I know tradition says wait til 12 weeks but a) I'm not very traditional and b) I don't think I can wait that long!

Did you announce early or late? And was it a good choice?

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EverySoddingNameIsTaken · 07/04/2014 22:44

I announced early with DS, fine. Announced early twice after and unfortunately had miscarriages. I'm pregnant now and I am 11 weeks, I cannot wait for 12 weeks! To announce early this time would have meant I wouldn't have got any congratulations just good lucks and people say silly things when they don't know what to say, I wanted to avoid all that and avoid all the questions and sad faces if I was to MC again. It's actually been fairly easy to wait, ive parky avoided people though. It's up to you and how you feel about telling people,
Congrats

Original poster

CatFaceCrayola · 07/04/2014 22:49

Thanks. My thinking is that if the worst happened I'd want people to know/understand what was wrong with me? I imagine MC is equally awful whether people know or not

OP posts:

moominlike · 07/04/2014 23:19

We told family, close friends and my boss after an early scan at nearly 8 weeks. I wanted to be able to share my excitement with friends who I would turn to anyway if things went wrong again. Also told my boss so she understood why I was being careful at the moment (2 previous mcs). I asked people to keep it to themselves though - had a bad experience of someone I didn't know well asking after my first mc if I'd had the baby yet. That was hard. Do whatever feels right for you, and congratulations :)

Gennz · 07/04/2014 23:30

I'm 6+1 and have told my immediate family (parents, sister, brother) and 5 close friends (3 of which live on the other side of the world, so less of a risk!). Will probably tell one person at work soon too, as I work in a very drinky sort of a workplace and I need some help covering my tracks at work functions!

Paintyfingers · 07/04/2014 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Boogles91 · 07/04/2014 23:41

We wanted to wait till 12wks...but my doc wrote on my sicknote that i was preggers and my parents picked it up for me...so there was no point in keeping things lol i was 7wks by then x

Sharaluck · 07/04/2014 23:41

I announce when I start showing.

OhTheDrama · 07/04/2014 23:42

7 weeks and only DH and my parents know. Very high risk this time so waiting until I've both had a scan and the results of the CVS test before I announce anything. Even when I do it will be quietly to friends and close family with the request not to mention on Facebook.

hartmel · 07/04/2014 23:51

As soon as the Gp told us we are pregnant we phoned both sides parents. The others we didn't inform until 12 weeks..
Well with my first I told my boss at 7 weeks as I was so sick in the morning I came in later than expected. Or because of appt.

Martorana · 07/04/2014 23:54

I've had 4 pregnancies- 2 of which resulted in babies. I told people really early 3 times out of 4- the first time because it was such a surprise that I wanted to make it real by telling people- which meant that when I miscarried everyone knew so were wonderful and supportive. The second time because I thought that if I miscarried again I wanted the same level of support (I didn't- that was dd). The 3rd time I didn't tell anyone because I knew with complete certainty that I would miscarry very early- and I did. The 4th time - the same as the second (ds). I think that the "wait til 12 weeks" thing is daft- it's just about making it easier for everyone else- they don't have to deal with your unhappiness.

Roseandmabelshouse · 08/04/2014 03:05

About 20 weeks but only because I hate public announcements and wanted to have scan clear before sharing.

I would have told people sooner after the results of Nuchal
If I was a bit braver. I've had mmc before (after a reassuring early scan ) so a bit more nervous than most.

Tallyra · 08/04/2014 03:28

I have also had 3 mmc and now 1 successful pg. each time I have been horrendously sick and we have told ppl why. It helps tremendously for ppl to know why I was sick and then why I was so sad. I told work this time at 6w as I knew I'd be sick. It made getting signed off very easy.

weebigmamma · 08/04/2014 04:23

I told family at 12 weeks but waiting until the 20 week scan to tell everyone else. I was just really scared of MC and I'm quite a private person so I knew I would hate having to announce a MC to everyone. But everyone is different, there's no right or wrong way to do it. If I had miscarried maybe I would have been glad of the support of the people who had known, who knows. x

weebigmamma · 08/04/2014 04:23

*waited

Plateofcrumbs · 08/04/2014 05:47

It's one of those things only you can judge based on your relationship with the people you're telling and how public/private a person you are.

We hadn't told anyone we were TTC, and it took us ages so I'm glad we didn't feel under pressure from
expectant grandparents-to-be. If we had had a MC I wouldn't have told them.

As it was we told family and closest friends after scan at 9 weeks, then had a bit of a scare at 12 weeks and told as few people as possible until 20 weeks. We had good reasons for sharing news at 9 weeks but if I did this again would definitely wait until 12 if possible.

SassehMonsta · 08/04/2014 05:48

I'm struggling with the same, currently got a lot of m/s and trying to avoid friends (though i saw one yesterday and dropped several hints but she didn't get it....!). Husband wants to wait until first m/w appt but that's still 5 weeks away. Trying to convince him that we could tell his mum at 7 weeks as we need more information on family background from her before the appointments, plus it's her birthday soon after.... he's not so convinced!

loubylou8 · 08/04/2014 07:06

I am about 6 weeks gone and we have told our close family (mums, dads and siblings). It's VERY early but, like you, I'd rather tell people if something doea go wrong.

I'd also like to tell friends as it's a right pain at the moment having a big subterfuge about not drinking (glasses of soda water disguised as gin and tonics!) But DH wants to wait until scan.

I'm a fairly public person and this is killing me!

SassehMonsta · 08/04/2014 07:24

loobylou I'm so with you! I want to share the news with everyone!! I've taken to shopping in places where the shop attendants don't know me, and just letting them know instead... telling random strangers doesn't count, right?!! Having to avoid doing this in places where I've worked in the past though, or where I shop regularly!

At last as a renowned non drinker, I don't have to worry about anyone calling me out on that! Problem is I'm known for my immense appetite (despite being 5 ft and a size 12) and the m/s is killing that.

Tea1Sugar · 08/04/2014 08:23

Told my parents at 5 weeks, dp's parents, friends and colleagues after 12 week scan. Only left dp's parents til then because they live three hours away and we wanted to tell them in person.

PenguinsEatSpinach · 08/04/2014 08:39

I am now on DC3 and have got later and later in my announcements.

On the miscarriage, it depends really how you feel. For me personally, I didn't want a soul to know about my two miscarriages. The first, my parents know as they were childcare for our eldest. One or two close friends know that at some stage I have had a miscarriage, but didn't know at the time. The other no-one knows about. It's a very personal thing and I think that how you feel about that determines how early you might want to tell people.

This time round, hardly anyone knew until after the 20 week scan, although a few had guessed. Not one person was told until well after the 12 week scan. Which I was pleased about as I then came back high risk for Downs and various other issues and went through testing. I would rather not have had the judgement if I had had to make awful decisions about Edwards or whatever.

But I'm a very private person about anything I consider important.

RiverTam · 08/04/2014 08:47

my experience is rather sad (and mine alone, of course) but having had many MCs (though I do also have my beautiful DD) I would never tell early - a lot of people never knew that I had MCs, or at least not until quite a bit after the event, when it was more manageable to speak about it. I can't imagine having to tell all and sundry, if they asked how things were going, that actually, they were going nowhere anymore.

It is of course up to you, and I sincerely hope that you don't go through this, but I wouldn't. When I was pg with DD I told my mum, sister and best friend (as they knew we'd been seeing specialists and whatnot) but that was all.

Original poster

CatFaceCrayola · 08/04/2014 09:12

We have already told our parents. We are getting married on Friday and my man is very eager to announce it to our guests (who are all our nearest and dearest).

But I'm becoming less and less convinced by this plan. Maybe I'll tell a select few people on Friday. Might tell my bridesmaids so they can come and drink all the wine people will undoubtedly buy me!

I'm scared to tell people, but I also want to shout it from the rooftops

OP posts:

Paintyfingers · 08/04/2014 09:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoooRooo · 08/04/2014 09:40

For DS we told close friends and family when we found out at 4+4 and everyone else at 12 weeks.

This time we've told everyone at 7 weeks. What will be will be and if it's not a happy outcome we'll need support. Although I have had wobbles that I may have 'jinxed' it by announcing early but I know that is ridiculous!

PenguinsEatSpinach · 08/04/2014 09:43

Congratulations on your wedding!

Personally I wouldn't announce it. You haven't said how many people at the wedding, but say 50 people. Are they all people you would want to tell if something went wrong? Also, if something happened, would it affect your memories of the wedding having to 'unannounce' the announcement and dealing with all people's sadness and disappointment being tied up with the happiness of the wedding day?

It is sad to have to think like that, but unfortunately it's the reality of knowing about pregnancy very early (a couple of generations ago, one missed period would be just that, two would be probably pregnant, three would be getting certain...).

I agree telling your bridesmaids might be handy.

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