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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Is my girlfriend attempting to get pregnant or ensure she is taking the pill at the right time ?

150 replies

JustACoupleOfQuestions · 01/04/2014 23:55

I've been seeing a girl for a few months, we get on great. She is very keen to have a kid, I am not at the moment. She has told me she has gone on the pill, which I believed. However, I attempted to log onto Amazon today and realised she had left herself logged on. I saw three purchases back in Jan :-

Conceive Plus® Fertility Lubricant
Clearblue Digital Pregnancy Test Kit with Conception Indicator
Clearblue Digital Ovulation Testing Kit Inc. 20 Test Pack and 2 x Pack of 10mlU Pregnancy Test Strips

Now, the first one worries me, as does the second. The third could be to determine when she should take the pill. But the Test Pack?!?

My guess is she is trying to get pregnant without me knowing. Am I missing something about being on the pill ?

I would appreciate your comments.

Thanks.

OP posts:

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Plateofcrumbs · 02/04/2014 19:11

Were the purchases made before or after you had the conversation about the pill? And umm these pregnancy books....were those bought at the same time or a bit later?!?

TheBuggerlugs · 02/04/2014 19:27

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 02/04/2014 19:44

She's trying to get pregnant. Why else would she be buying a fertility monitor, ovulation sticks and pregnancy tests! And I say this as someone who bought all this to determine when I ovulated to get pregnant, which I now am.

Wear a condom, else if she gets pregnant you can't complain if she does.

If she even taking her pill?

Yes, you're right in thinking that there are massive issues here. She's lying to you and is determined to get pregnant without you knowing. Personally I would run for the hills!

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 02/04/2014 19:45

Just to add, even condoms aren't 100% effective. Accidents do happen, obviously.

RaRa1988 · 02/04/2014 19:53

YES, Buggerlugs - I've just been reading through the thread and that was literally my first thought! Wasn't her 'partner' wealthy too?

WeAreDetective · 02/04/2014 19:53

The betrayal of trust seems to me to be a massive issue.

I would confirm and dump too.

inmybelly · 03/04/2014 01:40

Forget the condoms, just stop having sex with this crazy woman!!!

Out of interest, has she ever asked you if you have life insurance? :)

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 03/04/2014 06:26

I'd probably confront her about the purchases, but I can't imagine anything she could say to justify it. I think you need to end the relationship. I think a few months into a relationship is too soon to trust someone doesn't have an STI or that they will do as you have agreed re contraception.

Writerwannabe83 · 03/04/2014 06:37

buggerlugs

I remember International!! What a bizarre character she was!

I often wonder what she's up to and whether she managed to get pregnant by her unsuspecting partner potentially married fuck buddy

lottieandmia · 03/04/2014 06:37

Do you want to stay with someone who has built your relationship on lies?

As others have said, at the very least you need to use condoms if you want to avoid pregnancy, also bearing in mind that you will be financially liable for a child if she conceives (quite apart from everything else)

The situation sounds odd. Who really wants to have a child with someone they've only known a few months? You must confront her.

lottieandmia · 03/04/2014 06:40

This reminds me of a programme it saw about women who wanted a baby and tried to inseminate themselves with sperm from a condom without their partners knowledge.

fuckwitteryhasform · 03/04/2014 07:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Realitybitesyourbum · 03/04/2014 07:14

Please tell us you are going to dump her? Surely you don't want a relationship with someone who actively lies and deceives you?

There is no way that is not a i am trying to get pregnant shopping list!

Realitybitesyourbum · 03/04/2014 07:17

And just because you seen unsure of the pill facts for when you speak to her, when you take the pill there is no right time. You take one every day at preferably the same time every day, finishing the packet, have a week off, start again. You need no other equipment to do this.

And just because we are nosey , please let us know how the talk goes!

Branleuse · 03/04/2014 07:47

youve just come out of a very long term relationship. Dont be too trusting just because you dont have the experience.

Shes trying to get a baby, and tbh, she might already be pregnant

TiggyKBE · 03/04/2014 07:58

She's tricked you into having sex by deception. Kind of rape isn't it? If you don't have all the details you can't give informed consent.

Get out of this relationship.

Kri5ty · 03/04/2014 08:02

Haven't read all the replies, but yes, definitely trying to get pregnant!

Missvaughan85 · 03/04/2014 08:10

Writer do you remember when she (international) was accused if being a cat fish??

JustDanni · 03/04/2014 08:16

An ovulation kit for the pill? You know you take them daily right?
Not just for three days out of the month.

I have a feeling she might be aiming to get pregnant, and personally, that level of betrayal is one too far for me.
If I was in your shoes I would be out of there.

lottieandmia · 03/04/2014 08:17

You're comparing it to rape, tiggy?

seriously??

She's obviously deceptive and untrustworthy. But to compare this to a violent crime is not on IMO.

lottieandmia · 03/04/2014 08:19

Part of the problem is that everyone in a sexual relationship should know how the contraception they or their partner is using works.

willitbe · 03/04/2014 08:35

There is the possibility that she is preparing for it all, not actually trying yet, just hoping that her man will change his mind. If she is desperate for a child she could be preparing without actually carrying through with it yet. Though I have to think that using her own lube does sound extremely suspicious that she is already acting on trying to get pregnant.

If she does say she is already pregnant don't just take her word for it or risk believing a fake pregnancy test. Go yourself and buy a pregnancy test and get a cup for her to wee into and do the test immediately so that you can confirm for yourself. Or go with her to the doctors and get them to confirm it directly to you. If she has betrayed your trust once she could do it again.

confuddledDOTcom · 03/04/2014 08:37

Actually a man could get into trouble for rape if he was doing this. Not all rape is violent.

TiggyKBE · 03/04/2014 08:41

Think of other 'sex by deception' occasions. You are in a relationship with an identical twin. The other twin pretends to be his brother and has sex with you. Is that rape? It's not violent. You gave consent, but it was not informed consent based on the true facts.

ohthegoats · 03/04/2014 08:41

Erk, my lodger did this to her on/off boyfriend 2 years ago. She decided on him because he was good looking - she wanted a good looking baby. He was also a bit 'nice but dim' - lovely guy who she knew would do the right thing by her/the baby.

He was talking about going travelling (not with her), had applied for a visa to work in Australia. She told him she was on the pill, but had stopped taking it.

Two years later he is living in a two up two down terrace on a new estate, with a year old baby and her pressurising him into having more. Within 3 months of the positive test, she was badgering him to get a mortgage with her, to sell his bachelor flat etc etc. I felt desperately sorry for him.

Anyway... get out!

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